And this one even more!

by CTABUK
1 replies
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If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policeman's credibility..

Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.
  • Profile picture of the author Mike Wright
    Something similar actually happened with me about 45 years ago.
    I was a passenger in a friend's car when we were in collision at a
    crossroads when a stupid delivery driver jumped the red light from
    the side road ...right in front of a cop standing a few feet away.

    The defendant had no defence at all ....but had enlisted a purple
    bloated barrister somewhat resembling a toad (really) in order to
    try and keep his job and driving licence. When my turn to give evidence
    came .... this ensued ......

    BB "Was there anything unusual on the morning in question?"

    ME " We had an accident."

    Strangled splutters and giggles from everyone present.

    Even more purple BB " I didn't mean that!"

    ME " Well it was extremely unusual for us!"

    BB gets even more purple...defendent turns white ... and the
    whole place including magistrates just fell apart. Took about
    5 mins before order returned ... and I could step down from
    the stand. After that we went to the pub for a few beers
    and drove home ...truly .

    Not as witty as Davids story .... but true nonetheless
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