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Participation trophies ...

by kenmichaels
7 replies
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Up until today, I have always thought participation trophies for kids
was dumb, possibly even a disservice to the children.

( possibly because i had to earn every trophy i ever got as a kid ---
which was exactly 1, until my teens )

However today, my 3.5 year old received a trophy.
It is his first sports team / league. ( soccer )
also his first trophy.

He wasn't particularly good, or bad. Maybe a smidge above average.

Friday I found out he was getting a trophy today, my reaction to
my wife was .. uhmm WHY?

Today however, when he received it, you should have seen the look on his face.
He was so excited and happy.

The entire ride home, he was asking if he could put it on one of the shelves with ours.
( His mom and I compete in several leagues and have 15 years worth of trophies )

unbeknownst to me, his mother gave him that idea.

I said sure ... when the moment came, he started asking about the other trophies.

real questions and then he said ....

I have to work extra hard next year to get one.

Up until that moment, I thought that little participation trophy was a
bad idea. I really did not want him to have it.

But after seeing the excitement.. then hearing him understand he has to work
harder next time.

... now I am completely rethinking my stance on the idea.
  • Profile picture of the author Doran Peck
    Ken, I had almost an identical experience recently with my 6 yr. old daughter and her soccer team.

    Getting the trophy was certainly important to her. She beamed and wore it around for another two days.

    My stance was softened on the idea as well.

    ...but then I witnessed my nephew ( two years older) go through the same thing...only this kid was like the most scared of the ball kid on the team, didn't do much of anything when he was out there, and during practices he's the kid not joining his teammates in warmups.

    Then I heard this come out of his mouth. "Mommy when is the game over I wanna get my treat and my medal and go."

    Still I could see the medal made him feel good...and you know, he probably did the best he could for where he was at with the sport...clearly most of the other boys are further down the road with knowing what they are doing and being coordinated. I know that in time it will come for this boy too.

    So today my stance is this...I think for the very young, the participation trophy is a great thing...the kids really don't know better, and it clearly is a boost for them.

    ...But...there comes a point when kids have learn raise their game, so to speak.

    in anything, there is a measurable difference between great players or teams, and just good ones. The way they prepare, are disciplined, their mindset, their habits, everything is different.

    So I still believe at some point the participation trophy inhibits that kind of growth.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    The idea was never to make the recipient happy. It was to say the person did WELL. Of course I, like possibly MANY, always felt it was unfair if a person or team may be against others, possibly for the only time, and maybe THE competition does VERY well, and the person does exceptionally well but still not quite good enough. They may go home with NOTHING while even breaking records. I hope your son follows through on a worthwhile goal here. Statistically, he WON'T!

    AND, what if the person always wins 1st place, but is up against bad opponents? Maybe they may think they are far better than they are.

    Steve
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I always thought that the idea was for the parent to help the child excel and find the areas that their talents were awesome enough to develop to trophy winning levels. Something is left out here, and I still believe in the importance. Trophies weren't meant to be merely "feel good" items. I agree with Doran - maybe one for little kids in their first leagues and teams......but after that it should be left an honor for those that developed their skills to excellence.
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    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      I was the same Ken.
      In fact I'm still against them for older kids.
      When they are young it gives them a great feeling of accomplishment. Really they're in the beginning of learning about competition, interaction with their peers, following the rules of the competition, all sorts of things they need to be able to do as an adult. They should be rewarded just for participating.
      But when they get older there are other things to learn and giving out awards just for showing up doesn't work any more.
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  • Profile picture of the author Audrey Harvey
    My daughter has been competing in highland dancing competitions since she was about 5 years old. The youngsters in the primary sections (under 6) always get a participation medal or gift, and you're right, they're so thrilled. It keeps them motivated and enthusiastic. However, when they get out of primary section, the only trophies or medals they get they have earned.

    My daughter is very much a middle of the pack dancer and sometimes she comes home with bling, and other times she's empty handed, but that's how she learns to cope with disappointment.
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    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      Nothing wrong with Participation Medals.

      Kids know they are not the winners medals just as adults know they aren't.

      eg Olympic athletes all get these but they know they didn't necessarily win Bronze, Silver or Gold.

      They did all help create the event though which is what it is reflecting.

      Olympic Games all Participation Medals

      I think all sports at top level have these type of things. Armies get these too in a way. Campaign medals. Fact you were clearing out the stock cupboard doesn't stop you getting a campaign medal. You still took part. You just won't get a VC or Purple Heart etc

      Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author Jeff Burritt
    Banned
    It's so parents don't have to fork out too much cash on the way home picking up sympathy prizes for the little whiners, uh winners.
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