I Don't Remember The Last Time I Felt So Lost

by 159 replies
Life is so funny.

3 years ago, I was sick as a dog. My health was as bad as it had ever been. I
really didn't think I was going to last much longer. In fact, I almost wished I was
dead.

On the plus side, my business was doing great. I had more money than God.

Flash ahead to 2013. I am now pain free and in excellent health for almost 3
years. It'll be 3 years on September 5. Yes, I celebrate my anniversary.

Not only that, I have my first classical music CD out there and selling.

I am about to complete my first symphony.

My wife and I will be married 29 years on August 25 and we've never been
happier with each other.

I have a bunch of Magic the Gathering friends who I play with on Friday and
Saturday who just love me to pieces. Friday is "Win The Wags Lottery" night
and Saturday is the "Wonderful World Of Wags Legacy" as Sean calls it.

I've been told I'm the most fun player to play against. A night of Magic
without me just isn't a night of Magic.

I have everything a guy could possibly want in his life.

And I've never felt so lost in my life.

My business is non existent, through my own doing and fault so I'm not going
to blame Google or EZA or anything else. I should have adapted. I didn't.

But with all that I have, the fact that I am no longer contributing anything
financially to my family makes me feel pretty worthless. I am currently spending
most of my time at Elance looking for work. So far, no luck. There is so much
that I can do and do well, but when you're competing with people who are
bidding $6 for a writing job it's impossible to compete with that.

One guy is looking for jokes for a routine. I even sent him one as a show of
good faith and a show of my talent for free hoping that I'd get the gig. So
far, nothing. I wouldn't be surprised if he picked somebody else simply because
they bid $6.

I should be so happy right now, and yes, I'm trying to look at all the good
that I have in my life. And believe me, I have a ton of good. And I know there
are people who have it a whole lot worse than I do.

But a man needs to feel that he's worth something. For 10 years, I felt like
I was worth something. I single handed paid off our mortgage and credit
cards thanks to my business. I made it so that my daughter could go to
college debt free.

I'm trying to hold onto all of that, especially my good health which I so used
to take for granted.

It's just not easy.

Funny, years ago, all I had was money.

Now, I have everything but.

You think maybe God has a sense of humor?
#off topic forum
  • Profile picture of the author tagiscom
    You think maybe God has a sense of humor?
    He must have, my social life sucks, and financially, l am probably on the verge of hitting the jackpot!


    But l guess, that means in a month or two, my social life will be great and my financial life will be great as well?


    Well hopefully in a few months, it could be years, Yeeekkk! Now l am getting depressed!


    The universe seems to be clobbering most of us at the moment, which usually means something good is on the horizon, so keep going.


    So, far this week l have learned, that something l lent to a company is gone for good since they got taken over by a rival company, and the f key on my Laptop is acting up. Arrrrrggggg, can it get any worse???


    But on a positive note, it seems that you write music, so maybe this site could help?


    I am using one of these sites for graphics, with very promising results, so if you need any tips to make this site cough up, let me know.

    All the best!

    Shane

    Royalty Free Music - Sound Effects - Stock Audio | AudioJungle


    PS. also keep in mind J K Rowling, before publishing Harry Potter was having such bad luck that she was scared she would wake up one morning, and find that her daughter died in her sleep.

    Food for thought!

    This is a very common occurrence for individual on the verge of success.
  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Steven,

    How are you positioning yourself?

    What are you doing to market your services?

    Elance is a low bidder marketplace. I did a couple jobs there in 2011, even one for $3000, and got out of there as fast as I could. Closed my account. Scratching around for a couple hundred bucks of crumbs on gig sites just ain't worth it.

    You can do better than Elance. Is there a topic that people want to know about that you are experienced with? Maybe a specific blog is the way to go. There must be companies that will pay you well for articles on their subject matter--but they don't know you exist.

    I think the biggest concern you have is No Focus. Once you pick a direction, you'll be able to pick the means of promoting your services and get on with it.
    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      You can do better than Elance.
      Such as? Where can I go to find work? Monster.com? Are they even still around
      and do those sites hire freelancers or are we talking regular 9 to 5 brick and
      mortar jobs? Because that's what those job sites were like back in 2000. It
      was essentially businesses looking to hire employees to work on site. I'm not
      looking for another 9 to 5 commute on the parkway during rush hour both ways.

      I want to work from home, on what I want, when I want. And if beggars can't
      be choosers, fine. But I'm not going back to the rat face. I'd rather be dead.
  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

    But a man needs to feel that he's worth something. For 10 years, I felt like
    I was worth something. I single handed paid off our mortgage and credit
    cards thanks to my business. I made it so that my daughter could go to
    college debt free.
    The fact that this bothers you is a big plus. This isn't an "either/or" thing. You can have a great family life and plenty of money.

    What is it you do? What's you area of expertise?

    Sorry, if you've said it earlier.
  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    Steven, you know what to do. You're a composer. What would you do for another composer who hired you to promote his/her work? Do that for yourself.]

    (See you at the Oscars)
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    Project HERE.

  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    Steven,
    update and revise your products.You had a great market before, you have a ready made one waiting to see your take on today.
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    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Originally Posted by KimW View Post

      Steven,
      update and revise your products.You had a great market before, you have a ready made one waiting to see your take on today.
      The problem is, my main method of marketing (using articles) is dead, at least
      for me. I can't generate a list anymore through it and I don't know any other
      way to generate traffic other than to pay for it and I just don't have the money
      to do that. My last products I've made (all new and updated) sold between
      5 and 10 copies a piece for about $300 profit. Sure, I could do that weekly
      and make $1,200 a month, but that's a lot of work for $1,200. If I find that I
      have no other choice, sure, that's what I'll do. But right now I'm pursuing other
      options.

      As always, thanks for the suggestions and the support.
  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    How about composing music for business marketing or training ads and videos, or for documentaries?
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    "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

    • Profile picture of the author marketingva
      Hi Steven,

      How about creating music for videos? I know there are lots of people who have problems finding music that they can use legally on videos. The other thing that comes to mind are book trailers. They might need custom music. You could offer this service to businesses that create the trailers.

      Bonnie
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      Magic Wand Author Services helps writers polish their manuscripts and connect to readers.
      http://www.mwauthorservices.com

  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    Steve --
    You are in a proverbial "rut". Here's what I do if I were in your shoes:

    Get out into nature and take those things off. Let your body do the natural electromagnetic grounding it is supposed to do. Nature immersion is great for restoring a sense of perspective and letting your mind roam on it's own volition. When the mind is freed, and you put yourself into a natural environment, it gives you back your perspective and allows your creative brain to tie up the loose ends of problems you are having. EVERYTHING I have ever done that was healthful and good came as a result of nature immersion.

    Even it if doesn't completely answer all of your questions, it will refresh you, give you a new environment to relieve senses that become dull from the SO SO they are usually immersed in. You may think you are healthy - but true health and true energy alignment can only be achieved through a link with the natural state of the planet.

    Serious as a crutch - try it before you knock it. Go to a quiet beach, mountaintop or forest and just be for a day or two.
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    Sal
    New PLR - Disaster prep duo report pkg: The Art of the Graceful Bug out, and Preparing Pets for a Disaster. - PM me for report details.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Put some music on AudioJungle, it's free.

    If you have a bunch of old music you've made & it's not making any money, upload it to AJ, see If it starts making money. Look around AJ & see what sells the most, can you do the same/better?

    Most of that audio on AJ is very short TV commercial type jingles.

    This single audio made $1,088 in sales last week (recurring income on auto pilot).

    BTW, you don't have to be a best seller on any Envato store to make good money.


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  • Profile picture of the author SandraLarkin
    Banned
    Can't you just replicate everything you did before to make you successful? Those principles still hold true today.
    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Originally Posted by SandraLarkin View Post

      Can't you just replicate everything you did before to make you successful? Those principles still hold true today.
      No, I can't. Because the methods I used to generate traffic to my sites don't
      work anymore since Penguin and Panda. Long story that I just don't want to
      rehash. In short, I didn't adapt and my business died.

      Trust me, I'm not the only one this has happened to.
  • Profile picture of the author SandraLarkin
    Banned
    People still need copywriting. You could very easily go into the Warriors for hire section and advertise your copywriting skills. You have MASSIVE clout around here so that would be I would start if I were you, copywriting for warriors.

    You could also write a copywriting WSO to get you back into the game, do some JVs with other warriors, and you would very easily be back in the game. From there, you can figure out where to go.
  • Profile picture of the author David Maschke
    You underestimate what you've done, or how many people you've reached.

    Your crap advertising book was really good, and your idea of selling traffic info to the TE crowd was brilliant. I've tried it and it worked.

    I think all you have to do is write something like that again, but put an invitation to your list within it. Hardly anyone does that.

    I remember once Allen Says writing he was going to get out of the master resale rights market because too many people were practically giving his ebooks away.

    I thought to myself I'd like to have the same problem, and he didn't say he recommended everyone else get out of the master resale rights market, it was just time for him to move beyond that market.

    Not many people harness the viral marketing power of PLR and MRR. I've seen your crap advertising ebook in many membership sites.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Wags, from reading this entire thread, I think what you need most is an attitude adjustment. You tend to go through phases of harsh personal criticism.

    Reread your posts in this thread and ask yourself if it's really you talking. Having read most of your books, I don't think it is.

    You got knocked clean off the horse. Fine. Dust off and leather up. Career adversity brought you to IM in the first place. You did well then and you'll do well again -- but your mind has to be right.
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    "Arguing with...strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be, or to be indistinguishable from, self-righteous 16-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time."

    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Wags, from reading this entire thread, I think what you need most is an attitude adjustment. You tend to go through phases of harsh personal criticism.

      Reread your posts in this thread and ask yourself if it's really you talking. Having read most of your books, I don't think it is.

      You got knocked clean off the horse. Fine. Dust off and leather up. Career adversity brought you to IM in the first place. You did well then and you'll do well again -- but your mind has to be right.
      I understand mindset has a lot to do with it, but my bigger problem is I just
      don't know what to do. In theory, yes.

      1. Take a niche with huge demand with hungry buyers.

      2. Create or find a product to sell to them.

      3. Build an authority site that will rank in spite of all the Google crap because
      it's simply kick ass.

      4. Sit back and watch the money come in.

      It's textbook, cookie cutter.

      # 3 is the stumbling block. My web design and programming skills are limited.
      No site I create is going to rank. So I will need to hire an expert. I don't have
      that kind of money, period.

      So I'm searching for alternatives to this classic model. Problem is, I can't
      think of any that aren't long shots at best. I don't have the energy to dump
      months into a project only to find out it isn't viable. I've done that before but
      I can't anymore. I need a guarantee income right now. And the only way to
      get that is through freelancing.

      Problem is, I don't know how to go about it other than through sites like
      Elance and they pay pennies.

      I have skills. I have tons of things that I'd enjoy doing in the writing field
      alone such as music, novels, copywriting, etc.

      But copywriting? I get somebody email me for a quote. I give them a quote
      and I never hear back from them again. They simply don't want to pay what
      my copywriting skills are worth and I won't work for peanuts.

      So we're back to square one again.

      I've tried getting an apprenticeship with a top copywriter. No luck. I guess
      they either don't hire anymore or have all the staff they need.

      I don't know what else to do. Yes, as Sal said, I need to clear my head. But
      I can't just run away from home for 3 days. I have other responsibilities that
      I can't run away from. In short, I need to be here.

      I'm not giving up. I just applied to Elance to write a short novel. I've submitted
      my Wizard Wars novel as my portfolio. But I doubt I'll get the job because
      somebody will do it for $6.
  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Steve, I'm not saying you need to strip naked and run through fields o' plenty. There's no need to join a drum circle and smoke peyote to find yourself. I'm sure you have some projects around the house that need finished. Paint a room. Fix a broken door. Sand the deck. Connect yourself to the work at hand and forget about this crap for a while.

    When you come back, make it a priority to figure out why you can't rank a site to save your life. Other people are doing it. This is certifiable proof that you can, too. You're no dummy. You'll figure it out.
    Signature

    "Arguing with...strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be, or to be indistinguishable from, self-righteous 16-year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time."

    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Steve, I'm not saying you need to strip naked and run through fields o' plenty. There's no need to join a drum circle and smoke peyote to find yourself. I'm sure you have some projects around that house that need finished. Paint a room. Fix a broken door. Sand the deck. Connect yourself to the work at hand and forget about this crap for a while.

      When you come back, make it a priority to figure out why you can't rank a site to save your life. Other people are doing it. This is certifiable proof that you can, too. You're no dummy. You'll figure it out.
      In theory, I know what needs to be done to rank a site. But I have a blog in
      the IM niche that's quite old right now with thousands of articles on marketing.

      You couldn't find it if you searched Google for 200 pages. And we're talking
      about WordPress so it's not like the blog looks like crap or has any issues
      with layout.

      My monthly traffic to this blog?

      Well, here's my total traffic for the whole domain.



      I used to get between 15 and 20,000 visits per month.

      And none of my visits are translating to sales anymore. All readers simply
      read and move on. I'm lucky if I get 1 opt in a day.

      That's my reality right now. I don't get it, but that's what it is.
  • Profile picture of the author historial0racle
    It is such a good feeling when someone like Steven who has seen such successful days in IM has the humility to reach out to his fellow mates here. I am new here as I just joined but this is a good way to start. Hello everyone and thank you for the wonderful words of wisdom as it has helped me too.
  • Profile picture of the author Don Schenk
    Three things come to mind.

    1. Years ago, when my father-in-law was on this planet, he retired. Within a short time he became depressed, because he no longer felt important. I have another relative who is going through the same situation.

    2. The fellow who had been my family physician (since about age 13 for me), retired at age 70, because his business partner wanted to retire. He soon developed sever depression, because he too no longer felt needed.

    I realize you have not "officially" retired, but it has to be the same sort of thing causing the feelings of being useless, and not knowing where to turn.

    3 I'm sending you a PM in a moment.

    :-Don
  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    Steven,

    Since you are shooting down every suggestion, or making them seem more difficult to do than they really are, what do you want to do and what are you going to do about your situation?

    Dan
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    "If you think you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room."

  • Profile picture of the author Nate Simms
    Originally Posted by Steven Wagenheim View Post

    So what exactly am I supposed to do, reach into a barrel, pick out some tactic and hope it works? If that's essentially what I'm supposed to do now, test a whole bunch of tactics until I find something that works, no thank you, I'd rather just go and find a job. I've been through the marketing crap. It took me 3 years (I started in 2003) to figure out that article marketing even existed, let alone work. I'm not going to spend the next 3 years hunting and pecking in the hope that MAYBE I'll find something else that works. I don't have that kind of time to waste. I need an income now.
    ... if you "need an income now," then you should probably leave this thread and go apply for a 9-5 job. Just sayin'.
  • Profile picture of the author garyv
    Your post here... http://www.warriorforum.com/off-topi...ml#post8354042
    is a $9.95 WSO

    My DETAILED Report on the TOP Selling WSOs of 2013!
  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Steven,

    The 15 articles for $7 was just to have some numbers to work with. Knowing how you are, I figured you'd work out the best approach for yourself. That's why I closed my post the way I did.

    I almost added a comment in that post about making the offer better than everyone else's, but decided against it. I settled for suggesting the article pack/eBook bundle. I didn't want to insult you by telling you what you already know, just wanted to give you what I thought was a viable option for you . . . and a small kick in the pants.

    By the way, I've posted two WSOs in my life (not counting the upcoming one). The first one was a 22 page PLR eBook. I don't remember how many copies it sold exactly, but it sold for $17 and I made about $400 and bumped it once for another $200 or so. And that was when I was relatively new here, and being my first WSO I didn't really know what I was doing.
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  • Profile picture of the author Gil Doer
    Steven,

    5 years ago I had good position of an offline company. I was the GM and I tripled the size of this franchise operation in less than two years with 6 figures cash flow. In the middle of this I started doing some affiliate marketing. Then my wife was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung/brain cancer (although she never smoked in her life.) in December 2009.

    Everything changed.

    We moved to San Diego to get her treatment although the doctors only gave her 6 months. She got better but wasn't out of the ballpark even though she wanted to move to our island. After a year of begging reluctantly (because of the lack of medical treatments on the island.) I agreed for us to move back. She was amazing. Full of life and spice more than anybody I knew. But Mia went to heaven in April. After 3 years she fought hard, suffered tremendously and she still won. (cancerfreemia.com)

    I've been working for my Mother-in-Law since we got back just over a year ago. I've helped her with her franchise operation and it's grown and has changed for the better but with that she's become threatened by me and has felt that somehow with my growing influence on the company I want to usurp her position although I've assured her that I only want to help her company grow... Long story short today she let her fear get the best of her... and released me from my position.

    I have to young boys to take care of and I don't know how I'm going to pay for next months bills BUT I am alive, I have my health, I have a sound mind (I AM still reeling from what my MILaw did though) , I have two fantastic boys, I have good friends, and I have God.

    Something good will happen.

    I know this isn't like Kay's direct, specific advice but my IM experience has had limited success. You've had great success. I have no doubt that you will be found or will find yourself... whichever verbal you prefer.

    Keep fighting... your still alive.

    Something good will happen.
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    Gil...

    Genius is ninety percent perspiration and ten percent inspiration.

    • Profile picture of the author Steven Wagenheim
      Originally Posted by Gil Doer View Post

      Steven,

      5 years ago I had good position of an offline company. I was the GM and I tripled the size of this franchise operation in less than two years with 6 figures cash flow. In the middle of this I started doing some affiliate marketing. Then my wife was diagnosed with Stage 4 lung/brain cancer (although she never smoked in her life.) in December 2009.

      Everything changed.

      We moved to San Diego to get her treatment although the doctors only gave her 6 months. She got better but wasn't out of the ballpark even though she wanted to move to our island. After a year of begging reluctantly (because of the lack of medical treatments on the island.) I agreed for us to move back. She was amazing. Full of life and spice more than anybody I knew. But Mia went to heaven in April. After 3 years she fought hard, suffered tremendously and she still won. (cancerfreemia.com)

      I've been working for my Mother-in-Law since we got back just over a year ago. I've helped her with her franchise operation and it's grown and has changed for the better but with that she's become threatened by me and has felt that somehow with my growing influence on the company I want to usurp her position although I've assured her that I only want to help her company grow... Long story short today she let her fear get the best of her... and released me from my position.

      I have to young boys to take care of and I don't know how I'm going to pay for next months bills BUT I am alive, I have my health, I have a sound mind (I AM still reeling from what my MILaw did though) , I have two fantastic boys, I have good friends, and I have God.

      Something good will happen.

      I know this isn't like Kay's direct, specific advice but my IM experience has had limited success. You've had great success. I have no doubt that you will be found or will find yourself... whichever verbal you prefer.

      Keep fighting... your still alive.

      Something good will happen.
      There is no way I could not respond to this. Forgetting about myself, I can't
      for the life of me understand how your children's grandmother could do this
      to her own grandchildren. I'm speechless.

      Aside from that, that's quite a story. I'm sorry about your wife. That is so sad. Your story just reaffirms how lucky I really am. My problems, in comparison,
      are insignificant.

      I wish you only the very best and hope you pull yourself through this, what
      has to be a, very difficult time.

      Thanks for the words of encouragement.

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