why people feel bad for not tipping

i specialise in travelling to non tipping cultures, although china is becoming tipridden as an a result of increasing tourism and lack of respect for their laws and customs

Thats exactly what it sounds like

In any decent restaurant, the cooks are paid a much higher wage than the wait staff. Wait staff are paid an hourly wage that is below the minimum wage, due to the fact that they are classified as "tipped" employees. Cooks and other employees are not classified as "tipped" employees and therefore are paid at the very least, minimum wage and in better restaurants, much more. I was married to a chef and know what they get paid.

I spent many years working as a waitress before I learned computer related work. I was paid $2.01 per hour. That was what employers were allowed to pay tipped staff at that time. It's now all the way up to $2.13 per hour.

The work is grueling, hard physical work. Thank goodness that there are enough educated customers to make it worthwhile in a decent restaurant. There are still plenty of customers who are under the illusion that table service, waiting on someone hand and foot, comes with the meal. It does not. It is intended that you the customer pay the wait staff for that service. Tips are essential to make up the difference between a tipped employee's hourly wage and federal minimum wage.

In addition, in many restaurants, the waiter is expected to tip the busboys and the bartenders a percentage of their tips.

I have many stories about customers and their tipping habits. I worked for an all you can eat seafood house and the work was particularly grueling because of the many times needed to come to the table with food at an all you can eat restaurant and the long distance from kitchen to table in some sections.

I had a large party of trash collectors one night. Their boss was taking them all out. He requested an additional server to take care of his employees (20 of them), fresh off their jobs of collecting trash. I told him that this my station and that I promised him if I couldn't take good care of them, I'd get help. I didn't need help and knew it. The bill was quite large and the tip was exceptional ($300 tip). Real class.

I also had a large party of Washington Redskins. They were rude, crude and demanding and got the same fast excellent service that my party of trash collectors did. Party of 20 lowlife football players and wives left a total of a couple of bucks in change on the table. As they left the restaurant, I gathered it up and threw it on the sidewalk as they walked away and told them that they accidentally left something on the table. I could have been fired for that, but I wasn't. It has been my opinion since that trash collectors have a great deal more class than football players do.

In both cases, the parties were so large and stayed so long that their tables were the only parties I had for the entire shift. Their tips would be my income for the entire shift that I worked. Needless to say, I didn't make enough to cover my babysitting expenses when I had the Washington Redskins in my station.

I tip 25-30% for service. The only exception would be for rude service. I don't penalize for incompetence ... only rudeness. Incompetence can indicate simply that the wait staff is new or hasn't had sufficient training.

I could never bring myself to go into a restaurant and buy a cup of coffee for a buck and leave less than $1 on the table. That's me. I know all the work that is involved in something as simple as bringing a cup of coffee to the table. It involves a lot more than simply bringing that cup of coffee to the table. There are a lot of "chores", commonly referred to as sidework that the wait staff is responsible for, which involves keeping all areas that they work in clean and often food prep work, such as making the salads that they will be serving on their shift and making desserts, etc. Wait staff are not paid minimum wage for these side chores.

I don't know what the system is in other countries, but that's the way it is here in the US. There are several states that do not allow employers to take the tip credit and they must pay minimum wage, but most of the states do allow the tip credit.

If you're too cheap to pay for service, go to a fast food restaurant or order carryout from the counter personnel and don't mess up anyone's tables while you're waiting for the food, so they don't have to clean up after you. Alternatively, you could just go to grocery store and cook and clean and serve it yourself.