William "Freddie" McCullough Unique and Funny Obituary

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Mr. McCullough was the parent of one of my good neighborhood friends growing up. On our little dirt road there were six children - three boys and three girls. My two sisters and I were the three girls, two of the boys were brothers, and Clint McCullough was the third boy.

Those Summers were some of the happiest of my life and though my memory isn't the greatest I remember those days with perfect clarity. We traipsed through the swamp trees searching for leprechauns. We had more than one "treehouse" - on dirt clearings we made in a thicket of trees - and even dragged and old toilet into one for our "bathroom".

It was similar to one of those country care-free childhoods you read about in books. We'd paddle out in our backyard swamp boat to have lunch on the water, careful not to bump into trees so the snakes wouldn't fall in our boat. We'd ride our four-wheelers up and down that dirt road from sunup to sundown trying to look cool for the one or two cars that'd pass by that day.

During that time Mr. Freddie lived across the dirt road and a few houses down on the right from my house. Clint and his family lived in the opposite direction, but also across the dirt road from me. Mr. Freddie's house was the one with the gargoyles out front, a fountain with goldfish in it out back, an in-ground swimming pool. My sisters and I considered him the richest man in the neighborhood.

We got to swim in that pool a few times and that is when I saw the most of Mr. Freddie. I by no means can claim to know him well, but what I do know of him remember of him is that he was a genuine man who liked to laugh. His family captured this and his many other traits in his very unique and honest obituary.

"The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013. Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order. He was a master craftsman who single -handedly built his beautiful house from the ground up. Freddie was also great at growing fruit trees, grilling chicken and ribs, popping wheelies on his Harley at 50 mph, making everyone feel appreciated and hitting Coke bottles at thirty yards with his 45. When it came to floor covering, Freddie was one of the best in the business. And he loved doing it. Freddie loved to tell stories. And you could be sure 50% of every story was true. You just never knew which 50%. Marshall Matt Dillon, Ben Cartwright and Charlie Harper were his TV heroes. And he was the hero for his six children: Mark, Shain, Clint, Brandice, Ashley and Thomas. Freddie adored the ladies. And they adored him. There isn't enough space here to list all of the women from Freddie's past. There isn't enough space in the Bloomingdale phone book. A few of the more colorful ones were Momma Margie, Crazy Pam, Big Tittie Wanda, Spacy Stacy and Sweet Melissa (he explained that nickname had nothing to do with her attitude)..."

To read the obituary in it's entirety please visit mariecaldwell.com.

Now the life story of this parent-of-a-friend I grew up around is making trending news. I'm sure he would have loved it.

Deepest and sincerest condolences to Shain, Clint, Brandice, Ashley, Thomas (you were a toddler in a leg cast last time I saw you), and the rest of their families. My prayers are with you all.

Thank you to Clint for allowing me to share your daddy's story.
#funny obituary #unique obituary

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