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Yup.

Fifty days till I turn the Big Five-0!

Some observations....

Gray Beard hair is comparable to carbon fiber, grows faster and straighter than its non gray counterparts, and if you pluck the little boogers, three more will sprout up in its place.

I have more tolerance and less tolerance at the same time. Weird.

No matter what time I go to bed, I rarely sleep past 7 am.

3 times a day dwindled down to once a day, then once every few days, then once a week, and now hovering at once or twice a month...

I am the lightest of lightweights. We are talking two beers and I am Lit!

I was foolish enough when I was young to think that If I made the equivalent of my age, e.g. 50k, I would be well off.

I am mostly unaware of Modern Rock, is there even any?

Sheesh. Thats enough for now.

I need a nap....
  • Profile picture of the author KimW
    Another note,the eyebrow hairs also become comparable to carbon fiber.
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    • Profile picture of the author ThomM
      Remember when you where young and made fun of old guys for, the way they dressed, having hammocks for eyebrows, having more hair growing on their ears and in their noses then on their heads, beer guts, etc. Every one of those old guys where thinking "as you are I was, as I am you will be."
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  • Profile picture of the author Horny Devil
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    Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post


    3 times a day dwindled down to once a day, then once every few days, then once a week, and now hovering at once or twice a month...
    You got me on this one . . . and then I got it, or did I? We are talking about having a crap aren't we?
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Horny Devil View Post

      You got me on this one . . . and then I got it, or did I? We are talking about having a crap aren't we?
      Knowing Rob, I figured he was talking about fapping.
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      • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
        Originally Posted by Horny Devil View Post

        You got me on this one . . . and then I got it, or did I? We are talking about having a crap aren't we?
        Not my original intent, HD.

        Although, Strangely accurate

        Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

        Knowing Rob, I figured he was talking about fapping.
        Now I am really showing my age,Riffle. I had to look that up.

        That is an occupation reserved for Buckeyes, Isnt it?

        No thanks for You!
        Originally Posted by Alexa Smith View Post

        Not that you're counting the days, or anything? If it helps, I had you figured for a younger guy than this.
        you're over twice my age now, but in 4 years' time that will no longer be true, so I must be aging faster than you.
        Yes, Lexy. You are my daughters age. And thanks for the compliment.
        I get that a lot..
        Originally Posted by ThomM View Post

        Remember when you where young and made fun of old guys for, the way they dressed, having hammocks for eyebrows, having more hair growing on their ears and in their noses then on their heads, beer guts, etc. Every one of those old guys where thinking "as you are I was, as I am you will be."
        Sho' nuff.

        Still got my hair, but the rest is catching up.

        My butt is disappearing (NoAssAtAll)

        My rock hard abs now have a protective covering.

        And I forgot what the hell else I was gonna say..
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          So your birthday is November 9th?

          Is my ability to count with my fingers and toes still intact? :p

          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            So your birthday is November 9th?

            Is my ability to count with my fingers and toes still intact? :p

            Terra
            Nov.19th, My dear.

            A brief bit of history...

            My Dad was NCO communications for Kennedy on Air Force One.
            He was scheduled to go to Dallas with POTUS, but Lil' ol' me was born, and Mom and Dad brought me home from Andrews AFB Hospital on the morning of the 22nd. Dad got called in and flew to Dallas with LBJ, and was one of the witnesses of his swearing in, Mid-Flight.

            Told that story somewhere in the lounge previously, However, always think about it around my B-day time.
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            • Profile picture of the author KimW
              Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

              Nov.19th, My dear.

              A brief bit of history...

              My Dad was NCO communications for Kennedy on Air Force One.
              He was scheduled to go to Dallas with POTUS, but Lil' ol' me was born, and Mom and Dad brought me home from Andrews AFB Hospital on the morning of the 22nd. Dad got called in and flew to Dallas with LBJ, and was one of the witnesses of his swearing in Mid-Flight.

              Told that story somewhere in the lounge previously, However, always think about it around my B-day time.
              Awesome bit of history.
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          • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            So your birthday is November 9th?

            Is my ability to count with my fingers and toes still intact? :p

            Terra
            By the way, Miss T. Hope you're feeling Better.

            I used this cool calc to cipher (I aint that sharp)

            Days From Date Calculator - number of days from a specific date
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            • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
              Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

              By the way, Miss T. Hope you're feeling Better.

              I used this cool calc to cipher (I aint that sharp)

              Days From Date Calculator - number of days from a specific date
              Me neither apparently, haha!

              And yes, finally today I am feeling much better, thank you.

              I can actually take breaths without a bunch of snapping, whistles, crackling and popping sounds and without coughing my head off.

              Terra
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              • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
                Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

                My rock hard abs now have a protective covering.
                Protective covering . . . consider that stolen. The idea, not your covering.


                Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                I can actually take breaths without a bunch of snapping, whistles, crackling and popping sounds and without coughing my head off.
                So YOU'RE the one who gave me this! I'll get you for this, Kern.
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                • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                  Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

                  So YOU'RE the one who gave me this! I'll get you for this, Kern.
                  Busted, dagnabit!

                  And here I thought I got away with slipping into your house in the middle of the night and gently blowing my pneumatic breath in your face. :p

                  Terra
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                  • Profile picture of the author LynnM
                    Strangely, it's less painful than turning 40. Brings a propensity to become a grumpy old woman though (or man as the case may be).
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                    • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
                      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                      So...it wasn't fapping?
                      I forgot, you're an Ohio State man...

                      Let me spell it out for ya, uh, NO!

                      Originally Posted by laurencewins View Post

                      You beat me by 20 days. I haven't counted it in days. I just know that now it is October, December is closer.
                      Dang it, Laurence, I had to use the Calc. December 9th

                      Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

                      I remember 50. That wasn't a bad age at all.

                      I, like Alexa, was under the impression that you were much younger - maybe even young enough to date.:rolleyes:
                      Now hold on just a second,Sal....

                      I look 35ish, and act like 10 yr old.

                      So, if you factor in the Cougar to Prey coefficient,

                      I am actually 25. Right in your wheelhouse

                      Originally Posted by LynnM View Post

                      Strangely, it's less painful than turning 40. Brings a propensity to become a grumpy old woman though (or man as the case may be).
                      Whaaa? I need an excuse?!

                      Originally Posted by joseph7384 View Post

                      Or maybe it was!
                      NOTHANKSFORYOU!
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                      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                        Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

                        I forgot, you're an Ohio State man...

                        Let me spell it out for ya, uh, NO!

                        NOTHANKSFORYOU!
                        This Ohio State man is still waiting for you to spell it out.

                        By the way:
                        2013 NCAA College Football Polls and Rankings for Week 6 - ESPN
                        The first sighting of a Florida team is kinda down there.
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                        • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
                          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                          This Ohio State man is still waiting for you to spell it out.

                          By the way:
                          2013 NCAA College Football Polls and Rankings for Week 6 - ESPN
                          The first sighting of a Florida team is kinda down there.
                          Jeez, Dan....
                          You are obviously a rookie in the marriage world.
                          Once you get to the 20+ year mark, you'll get it.

                          Now. Bout the football..
                          Due to your incessant insistence on perpetuating fapping in my otherwise wholesome thread, and taking a proverbial shot across the Gators bow,
                          You leave me no choice but to put a pox on the Buckeyes this Saturday.

                          Here goes...
                          urbada-burbada-meyersan-zaka-garyson-zipabod-barnetta-cha-uhya.

                          Sorry,Buddy. Northwestern 31-Ohio State 27
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                          • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                            Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

                            Jeez, Dan....
                            You are obviously a rookie in the marriage world.
                            Once you get to the 20+ year mark, you'll get it.

                            Now. Bout the football..
                            Due to your incessant insistence on perpetuating fapping in my otherwise wholesome thread, and taking a proverbial shot across the Gators bow,
                            You leave me no choice but to put a pox on the Buckeyes this Saturday.

                            Here goes...
                            urbada-burbada-meyersan-zaka-garyson-zipabod-barnetta-cha-uhya.

                            Sorry,Buddy. Northwestern 31-Ohio State 27
                            Having been married for 12 years, I know what you're talking about. However, fapping is funnier.

                            Pox be damned. THE Ohio State wins 37-17.
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                            Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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                            • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
                              Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                              Having been married for 12 years, I know what you're talking about. However, fapping is funnier.

                              Pox be damned. THE Ohio State wins 37-17.
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                • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
                  Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

                  Protective covering . . . consider that stolen. The idea, not your covering.
                  Two beers and a brat at Lambeau and you will have unlimited usage

                  Now ya know how I got my protective covering
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                  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
                    Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                    Busted, dagnabit!

                    And here I thought I got away with slipping into your house in the middle of the night and gently blowing my pneumatic breath in your face. :p

                    Terra
                    You mean you didn't even kiss me when you snuck in! Now I'm really mad.

                    Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

                    Two beers and a brat at Lambeau and you will have unlimited usage

                    Now ya know how I got my protective covering
                    Beers and brats at Lambeau ... been there, done that, loved every second of it.

                    Got mine the same way when I was younger . . . well, that and ice cream. I rarely have beer or ice cream anymore, you'd think that stuff would just fall off now, but no-o-o-o.
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                    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

                      You mean you didn't even kiss me when you snuck in! Now I'm really mad.
                      Not so fast, why do you think I blew in your face?


                      I was blowing you kisses. :p





                      Terra
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                      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
                        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                        Not so fast, why do you think I blew in your face?


                        I was blowing you kisses. :p




                        Terra

                        That's exactly what I say after somebody pulls my finger.
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                        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
                          Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

                          That's exactly what I say after somebody pulls my finger.
                          LOL! Why am I not surprised?

                          Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

                          I'm all better now...

                          Snuffles! - YouTube


                          Hahaha! You crack me up, Dennis!

                          Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

                          You have twenty five fingers and twenty five toes?



























                          Apparently not, my counting was off. :rolleyes::p

                          Terra
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                      • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
                        Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

                        Not so fast, why do you think I blew in your face?


                        I was blowing you kisses. :p
                        Terra

                        I'm all better now...



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                    • Profile picture of the author HeySal
                      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

                      You mean you didn't even kiss me when you snuck in! Now I'm really mad.
                      So much for Sleeping Beauty Syndrome. It's not workin' for ya.
                      Try a case of old-geezer syndrome. It might be a little early for it in your case, but practice makes perfect.

                      Now hold on just a second,Sal....

                      I look 35ish, and act like 10 yr old.

                      So, if you factor in the Cougar to Prey coefficient,

                      I am actually 25. Right in your wheelhouse
                      Holy crap. When I think "younger" I'm not talking about babysitting. Good grief, dude. :rolleyes:
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          • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            Is my ability to count with my fingers and toes still intact? :p

            Terra
            You have twenty five fingers and twenty five toes?





























            Back on topic.

            Fifty eh?

            I remember turning fifty like it was just last year.

            Actually, it was just last year. Anyway, my point is...
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        • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
          Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post


          No thanks for You!
          So...it wasn't fapping?
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      • Profile picture of the author whland
        Happy 50th.

        Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

        Knowing Rob, I figured he was talking about fapping.
        This here forum is a great place to fap. xd

        Making millions turns me on and I'm sure it does everyone else here as well? :rolleyes:

        Chad
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  • Profile picture of the author Alexa Smith
    Banned
    Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

    Fifty days till I turn the Big Five-0!
    Not that you're counting the days, or anything? If it helps, I had you figured for a younger guy than this.

    Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

    I am mostly unaware of Modern Rock, is there even any?
    Nope, none at all. It's all a figment of the younger generation's imagination (whoever they are).

    Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

    I was foolish enough when I was young to think that If I made the equivalent of my age, e.g. 50k, I would be well off.
    Hmmmm, yes, this one was perhaps a little optimistic. Though you might feel slightly better about it when you're 100 days from 100? Not that $100k will be worth anything then, but not so many people last that long, even in poverty. Especially in poverty. Ooooh well, look on the bright side: you're over twice my age now, but in 4 years' time that will no longer be true, so I must be aging faster than you.
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I remember 50. That wasn't a bad age at all.

    I, like Alexa, was under the impression that you were much younger - maybe even young enough to date.:rolleyes:

    Anyhow -- the 50's aren't bad at all - still young enough to do anything you want, but old enough to enjoy your own mind. Just forget the numbers and it isn't really something that will bother ya either way.
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  • Profile picture of the author laurencewins
    You beat me by 20 days. I haven't counted it in days. I just know that now it is October, December is closer.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

    I was foolish enough when I was young to think that If I made the equivalent of my age, e.g. 50k, I would be well off.
    Yeah, ain't inflation GRAND? That DOES work out about right if you are about 100! So you had to be born 50 years earlier! If you are born NOW, figure about 2* your age*(int(your age/5)-2). I believe that is about:

    15=30K
    18=36K
    20=44K
    30=86K
    40=92K
    50=116K
    60=140K
    70=164K

    That is probably reasonable for today. I guess I should ask for a raise. Bear in mind, that inflation is likely to get worse. Maybe the -2 should be +2. Maybe the /5 should be /2. Maybe the K should be 0K!

    If these estimates sound WAY off to some, realize that you could have over 30% taken away for taxes. 36K=~25 Insurance and the car/insurance could be over $4000/year, 25=21. An apartment could be over $10,000/year. 21=11 Assuming 15000mi/year at $4 per gallon gas at 30mp., 11=9 Savings for retirement @ 20% means.... 9=1.8 You now have $150/week for groceries, etc....

    And IMAGINE! 30K? Only about 40 years, you could buy a nice home for that, possibly on a couple acres, IN a NICE area of CALIFORNIA. NOW, you are lucky if you could buy an ACRE of unimproved land for that! HECK, I got a bit less than a half acre of improved land, and it is appraised at over $50KUSD!

    I guess you can look forward to being 20, MAYBE inflation will be kind, and you will still have the car, and you may have more to spend each month. Maybe you'll sacrifice a nice retirement for a better time NOW.

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Yeah, ain't inflation GRAND? That DOES work out about right if you are about 100! So you had to be born 50 years earlier! If you are born NOW, figure about 2* your age*(int(your age/5)-2). I believe that is about:

      15=30K
      18=36K
      20=44K
      30=86K
      40=92K
      50=116K
      60=140K
      70=164K

      That is probably reasonable for today. I guess I should ask for a raise. Bear in mind, that inflation is likely to get worse. Maybe the -2 should be +2. Maybe the /5 should be /2. Maybe the K should be 0K!

      If these estimates sound WAY off to some, realize that you could have over 30% taken away for taxes. 36K=~25 Insurance and the car/insurance could be over $4000/year, 25=21. An apartment could be over $10,000/year. 21=11 Assuming 15000mi/year at $4 per gallon gas at 30mp., 11=9 Savings for retirement @ 20% means.... 9=1.8 You now have $150/week for groceries, etc....

      And IMAGINE! 30K? Only about 40 years, you could buy a nice home for that, possibly on a couple acres, IN a NICE area of CALIFORNIA. NOW, you are lucky if you could buy an ACRE of unimproved land for that! HECK, I got a bit less than a half acre of improved land, and it is appraised at over $50KUSD!

      I guess you can look forward to being 20, MAYBE inflation will be kind, and you will still have the car, and you may have more to spend each month. Maybe you'll sacrifice a nice retirement for a better time NOW.

      Steve
      That is a fantastic and depressing breakdown,Steve.

      Now, Could you provide me with a formula to convince Sal to put me back in her dating zone?
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Oh yeah, that's right.

    Just because you've turned 50 doesn't mean your mind isn't as sharp as it was.

    Or something.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Another thing that happens when you turn 50, you always remember something else you forgot to say in your previous post.

    And so keep on hogging bandwidth until you've exhausted everything you have to say on every conceivable topic.
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  • Profile picture of the author whateverpedia
    Anyway, you'll be fine as long as you can bellow "Hey, you kids. Get off my lawn".
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  • Profile picture of the author waterotter
    Rob, forget about buying that fancy red sports car. It's a dead giveaway!
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    • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
      Originally Posted by waterotter View Post

      Rob, forget about buying that fancy red sports car. It's a dead giveaway!
      Already got a white Japanese Hot Rod.. and a Trophy Wife ( for 24 years..)

      My mid life crisis will more likely entail a meltdown at work followed by copious amounts of greenage and getting the band back together...

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      • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        Oh yeah, that's right.

        Just because you've turned 50 doesn't mean your mind isn't as sharp as it was.

        Or something.
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        Another thing that happens when you turn 50, you always remember something else you forgot to say in your previous post.

        And so keep on hogging bandwidth until you've exhausted everything you have to say on every conceivable topic.
        Originally Posted by whateverpedia View Post

        Anyway, you'll be fine as long as you can bellow "Hey, you kids. Get off my lawn".
        As a fellow survivor of the '80s I am..

        What were we talking about?
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  • Profile picture of the author joseph7384
    @Big Rob

    Have the you're so old jokes started yet? I just turned 50 years old in July and some of my younger friends roasted me with a barrage of one liners.
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  • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
    Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

    3 times a day dwindled down to once a day, then once every few days, then once a week, and now hovering at once or twice a month...
    Rob; You still have sex every month?! You young kids today.:rolleyes:

    And you're still Big Rob?

    My wife calls me "Barely Adequate Claude" Sniff....sniff...

    I'm so old, I don't even hold my stomach in when a beautiful woman walks by. Why bother? A woman is never going to say "Well, he may be chubby, bald, slouchy, old, and has hair pointing out his nose...but Wow! Look at that breath control baby!"

    This is not a joke (Everything above was)
    In a marketing meeting, someone brought in an ad for auto parts with a young girl nearly naked, and a suggestive caption. My first thought was "This is someone's daughter. I wonder if they know she's posing like this?"

    When I caught myself thinking that, I laughed out loud. Man, am I getting old.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post


      I'm so old, I don't even hold my stomach in when a beautiful woman walks by. Why bother? A woman is never going to say "Well, he may be chubby, bald, slouchy, old, and has hair pointing out his nose...but Wow! Look at that breath control baby!"
      Best laugh I've had today. Thank you sir.
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    • Profile picture of the author Big Rob
      Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre View Post

      Rob; You still have sex every month?! You young kids today.:rolleyes:

      And you're still Big Rob?

      My wife calls me "Barely Adequate Claude" Sniff....sniff...

      I'm so old, I don't even hold my stomach in when a beautiful woman walks by. Why bother? A woman is never going to say "Well, he may be chubby, bald, slouchy, old, and has hair pointing out his nose...but Wow! Look at that breath control baby!"

      This is not a joke (Everything above was)
      In a marketing meeting, someone brought in an ad for auto parts with a young girl nearly naked, and a suggestive caption. My first thought was "This is someone's daughter. I wonder if they know she's posing like this?"

      When I caught myself thinking that, I laughed out loud. Man, am I getting old.
      What Dennis said.

      Dude, I know exactly where you're coming from re: the auto parts ad.
      My daughter's 23.
      It pops in my mind when I see an attractive 20 something girl.
      (pesky conscious...)

      The "Big" Rob myth perpetuated itself from back in my Rock an Roll days.
      A chick who had obviously only been with asian guys before she was with me started it. (circa 1983)

      As for your " Barely Adequate" line ( thats gold,btw...)
      At your age, the fact that you still can without chemical inducement or mechanical assistance is a marvel!
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      • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
        You guys are looking at this all wrong!

        Once anything turns 50 years old, it's considered a classic. Classics are more valuable.

        Yep! That's what I keep telling myself. I'm a classic!

        Terra
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      • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
        Originally Posted by Big Rob View Post

        My daughter's 23.
        .........
        Pics?


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        Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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  • Profile picture of the author waterotter
    ^ Yep, just like wine and cheese gets better with age!
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