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Do you know any silly kid jokes?

by Halcyon
14 replies
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What are some of the silliest kid jokes you know?

I was privy to an impromptu comedy show produced by a group of young gentlemen - ages 6- 12 . These were some of the jokes.

What do you do when your nose goes on strike?
Picket

Why did the boy wear a diaper to the party?
He didn't want to be a party pooper.

Why is it bad to write on an empty stomach?
It's better to write on paper.

How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it.
  • Profile picture of the author TheHust
    What do you call a fish with no eye?
    - Fsh (Say it like Fshhhhh)


    What do you call a bear with no ear?
    - B
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    Link Wrangler

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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    What did the robot say to the gas pump? Get your damned finger out of your ear and listen to me.
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    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
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  • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
    Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other, "Does this taste funny to you?"
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    Stop by Paul's Pub - my little hangout on Facebook.

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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Why did the elf go to school?
    To learn his ELFabet.

    Why did the banana go to the doctor's office?
    Because he wasn't peeling well!

    Where do fish keep their money?
    In the riverbank.

    Why did the boy scream when he opened the fridge?
    Because he saw the salad dressing.
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    • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
      Knock, Knock.
      Who's there?
      Dwayne.
      Dwayne who?
      Dwayne the bathtub, I'm dwoning.

      What do you call candy corn? Pumpkin poop!

      What did one ghost say to the other ghost? Do you believe in people?

      What's a Vampire's least favorite song? Another one bites the dust!


      Terra
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Where does a king keep his armies?
    In his sleevies.

    Why is six afraid of seven?
    Because seven eight nine.

    What did zero say to eight?
    Nice belt.
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    Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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    • Profile picture of the author whland
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Why is six afraid of seven?
      Because seven eight nine.
      I remember that one from my childhood. I always annoyed people with that joke.

      Chad
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  • Profile picture of the author PotPieGirl
    Oh, I got one... made our 9-year-old laugh like crazy... ready?

    If you're Mexican in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

    Answer: European

    (go ahead, say out loud in your head...it's funnier that way).
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    • Profile picture of the author MaxxC
      What did the quarter say to the penny?
      You're not making any sense (cents)!

      What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
      A Carrot!

      What do you call a sleeping bull?
      A bull-dozer!
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  • Profile picture of the author Michael Mayo
    Two guys walk into a bar...ooops wrong thread!

    The following jokes aren't silly but, they are cute and what you might hear from a child.

    ----

    A Kindergarten teacher was observing her students while they were drawing.
    She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to
    one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

    The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

    The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
    Without stopping, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

    ----

    A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl's grandmother.

    On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked,
    "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

    "Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"
    "The tombstone back there said "Here lies a lawyer and an honest man."
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  • Profile picture of the author travlinguy
    Here's an oldy but goodie "kids" joke:

    One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She came to the part of the story where the first pig was trying to accumulate the building materials for his home. She read, "...and so the pig went up to the man with the wheel barrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build my house?"

    The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that man said?" One little boy raised his hand and said, "I think he said 'Holy Shit! A talking pig!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
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  • Profile picture of the author thunderbird
    A man arrived on Friday in a small town. He stayed for two days and left on Friday.How is this possible?
    His horse's name is Friday!
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    Project HERE.

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  • Profile picture of the author johnben1444
    Wife: Look at that Drunker !!
    Husband: Who is he?
    Wife: 10 years back he proposed me and I rejected.
    Husband: Oh......... he is still celebrating............
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