I decided to go see the psychiatrist.

For those who have been keeping track of my past posts I apologize for some repetition, but to give you a short synopsis of my issue, this past summer I was working 3 jobs (6 days a week). My wife and I were going through IVF (which worked WOOHOO!!!) I am going through back therapy for some chronic back pain for some kind of genetic disorder that got to the point where it needs to be dealt with at the worst moment. Now I just went through brain surgery to hopefully solve a seizure problem I've had almost my entire life. Now I know the first thing you are going to say is that we took too much stress on at the same time and you're probably right; too late for that. I started a blog so I could write things down, which has helped me a lot. After I got off the pain meds which I was so excited to have done I started having these really weird dreams that related to chaos unorganization, fear, and having no ability to control it. Worse yet is that they did not stop when I work up. I feel like I'm carrying around a thousand lb boulder and pulling a sled full of rucks. I was off of work for a month with restrictions of not lifting anything more than 10 lbs, but then they also say to make sure you do mental therapy. GREAT! Considering my mental therapy is mtn biking, kayaking, hiking and working on the house. I've decided that I need to come up with a new type of therapy unique to me, I'I've read a lot of ideas, took a lot of suggestions, but I need to take those suggestions and make them into something that works for me. Not something like listening to music or yoga (not that those are a bad idea) but just something that I can take with me, something I can read or stick in my pocket.