My friend has cancer

Just call him. You will know what to say and do. Good luck to you and your friend.

YOU don't know what to say? Think of the poor guy that is ill. Call him. All you are looking at is a few nightmares. It's his life we are speaking of here. Get over it and do the right thing.

I was only 29 when I was diagnosed with cancer. Been cancer free since November '06 but I've had a few medical complications since then (mostly lingering side-effects from the chemo).
Sorry to hear about your dad, my grandpa died of cancer.. but really the only way to shake those "flashbacks" is to face them head-on.
You talk as if your friend is terminal, is that the case? Cancer is a horrible disease, but not everyone with cancer dies from it. I'm living proof of that, as are quite a few other people you might have heard of (Lance Armstrong and Tom Green come to mind). It's important for your friend to keep a positive "I can beat this" attitude, so if you do call your friend don't be the "doom and gloom" type acting like this is something he can't beat. When I was a kid, and this was at least 20 years ago, my grandma was diagnosed with terminal cancer and told she had 6 months to live. She's alive and cancer free today, so even if the doctor says it's terminal they're not always right.

I really need to just suck it up and call him. He is in stage 4 right now but according to a mutual friend, my friend is in good spirits regardless of what happens. Thanks everyone.

I had a friend die a few years ago and he was so full of life and only in his 20's. I cherish the last time I was able to spend time with him a week or so before he passed on. Please don't give that up for fear because this is one of the best memories I have!

I had cancer last year,hopefully it was cured. BUt as far as your friend, just letting someone know you are thinking of them and care can help beyond belief.
Make the call.

Cancer is a disease. It is not contagious. It does not convert sufferers into some form of monster.

The word 'cancer' is like something from the war for terror. The very word has aggregated to itself a fearsome persona that few people seem able to contend with.

People with cancer are still human beings. We cherish contact with other human beings BUT we do not enjoy seeing the fear and distress which so much ignorance of the disease engenders. To be perfectly blunt, anybody who visits me when my cancer is out of remission had better be coming out of concern for me - not because they have overcome an unnatural fear of a very common disease. The very last thing I need is pity.

Honestly, if you cannot treat your friend as your friend, he is better off without you. I do not say this to be cruel to you but to be kind to him.

As for what you term flash backs, these are only memories with which you have not been able to come to terms. I have watched three wives die but that did not stop me marrying again.

I feel very sorry for you that you have not come to terms with the death of your father 27 years ago but you cannot allow that to colour your reaction to someone who is now in a position to want strong, lively, unafraid people around him.

Sorry to about your friend and well i usually saw that people having such dangerous diseases live last moments of life very happily and don't let people sad coz of them
Hope the doctors are wrong as GOD is still there to show some miracles

I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. My suggestion would be not only to be there for him, but help him to really, really enjoy life. Have you ever seen The Bucket List? It's basically about two terminally ill men who go out and do everything they ever wanted to do. That's what I would do in your shoes.

Glad you did call him. If I was to die, I guess I'd want to live the last days of my life with everybody I met in my life whether enemy or friend, to at least say "goodbye" and thank them for being part of my life.

It's sad, but we too shall pass.

I guess it's the ultimate form of gratitude to say thanks for the good times during the last moments of one's life.

Stop what you are doing and phone him now. Forget your own issues and call this friend, he needs you.

Sorry to hear of your sad news and am so pleased that you overcame your reluctance to ring him. Perhaps you are worried that your own cancer might reoccur and you will be in the same boat. I believe that such fears can bring on disease so you have to get over them and accept your own healing.

A few days ago a brain surgeon who is known and respected world wide died of a brain tumour. He was just 57 and took part in a reality TV show on Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney. he battled the disease for 2 and a half years after being diagnosed and told he would live for only 6 months. In the meanwhile he organised to build a huge cancer clinic and involved the PM and many other prominent people. He was to receive the Order of Australia tomorrow, Queens' birthday homors, but, instead, will get it posthumously. He is to have a State funeral in respect of his standing in the community. His loss is everyone's loss.

God bless

Norma

Smoking is a main reason for this dangerous disease. If anyone can give up this bad habit. He would be safe. But i am feeling sorry your friend. I pray for him to get cure as soon as possible, because there is a treatment for cancer now days.

I'm glad you called him - remember, this is about HIM. You would feel terrible if you let your past experiences and emotional response result in letting him down.

Call him again - you know what the illness is now and where it's going. Don't dwell on that topic going forward. With everyone around him focused on his illness, it might be a release for him to be able to revisit the memory of other, happier times in chats with you about things you did "back then".

kay

pm me about some resources.

just be strong to stand by your friend
he need you more than ever now