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What is your fake Starbucks name?

by joe golfer
14 replies
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It seems like everybody has a fake Starbucks name. I switch it around, but lately I am using "Caulfield" for no reason. You?
  • Profile picture of the author Paul Myers
    Mine is "Absent."
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    Stop by Paul's Pub - my little hangout on Facebook.

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  • Profile picture of the author George Wright
    Can't do that

    My gold card has my name on it. And I suspect my name comes up on the cash register because they never ask my name and they call it anyway.

    My daughter had me hold her gold card one day and I forgot to give it back. They kept calling "Tammy, Tammy, Tammy." Finally they called out my drink and I went to get it and the barista said "Tammy?" And only then did I realize I was "Tammy."

    George Wright
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  • Profile picture of the author HeySal
    I don't drink Starbucks so I don't have a fake name. I need a fake name. I feel so 80's.
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    Sal
    When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
    Beyond the Path

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  • Profile picture of the author NRabosa
    Does mispronounced/misspelled counts as fake name? I have a friend named Marion and she underwent a lot humiliation from those baristas: Mario, Marvin, Marlon, Manon, Marie, Mayon... The list goes on. My favorite? The girl with the mole. Now how's that for being mean?
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  • Profile picture of the author AndreaBlom
    A friend of mine once told them Bruce Wayne and when his drink was ready, they called "Batman!" It was awesome lol

    My husband also always tells me about all the crazy names he wants to give, but when the moment comes, he freezes up and spits out "Jon!" (which is, in fact, my brothers name, not his).
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Originally Posted by joe golfer View Post

    It seems like everybody has a fake Starbucks name. I switch it around, but lately I am using "Caulfield" for no reason. You?
    What?

    Why would you feel the need to do that?

    You're saying you give the cashier a fake name for the drink maker to yell out?

    Why does this matter?

    I recommend switching to "Flash" for maximum effect if you have to continue.
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    • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      What?

      Why would you feel the need to do that?

      You're saying you give the cashier a fake name for the drink maker to yell out?

      Why does this matter?

      I recommend switching to "Flash" for maximum effect if you have to continue.
      From now on I'm telling them my name is Jason Kanigan.
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      Raising a child is akin to knowing you're getting fired in 18 years and having to train your replacement without actively sabotaging them.

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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        I tell them that "I'm The Man With No Name, Claude Whitacre"
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        • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
          I just buy the Starbucks Keurig K-cups at the grocery store so I don't need a fake name.

          Heck, I like my name and wouldn't even want a fake one. But if I had to, I could go with my stripper name made from combining my first pet's name with the first street I ever lived on. That would be Sugar Chesterfield.


          Haha!


          Terra
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          • Profile picture of the author HeySal
            Originally Posted by MissTerraK View Post

            I just buy the Starbucks Keurig K-cups at the grocery store so I don't need a fake name.

            Heck, I like my name and wouldn't even want a fake one. But if I had to, I could go with my stripper name made from combining my first pet's name with the first street I ever lived on. That would be Sugar Chesterfield.


            Haha!


            Terra
            That's funny. Mine is Sugar Seymour. (Sugar was a cat - guess what color, LOL).
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            Sal
            When the Roads and Paths end, learn to guide yourself through the wilderness
            Beyond the Path

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            • Profile picture of the author MissTerraK
              Originally Posted by HeySal View Post

              That's funny. Mine is Sugar Seymour. (Sugar was a cat - guess what color, LOL).
              Ummm, black? LOL!

              Actually, I got a new kitty and puppy at the same time. My kitty was Sugar too, but my puppy was Spice.

              So I could be Spice Chesterfield too, or Sugar and Spice Chesterfield, haha!

              My Kitty was white and my puppy was black with brown markings like a Dobie.


              Terra
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              • Profile picture of the author ThomM
                Am I the only person here who has never been inside a starbucks or never had a starbucks coffee?
                And yes I do drink coffee, everyday.
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    • Profile picture of the author joe golfer
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      What?

      Why would you feel the need to do that?

      You're saying you give the cashier a fake name for the drink maker to yell out?

      Why does this matter?

      I recommend switching to "Flash" for maximum effect if you have to continue.
      I have no idea. My niece says it is a "thing."

      Fake Starbucks Names

      At 98 years old, I just take her word for it. I started using names from books and just kept doing it. Next I'm going to try Quentin Compson. Although I like "Flash."

      Here an extra kick in the pants: My niece says you can create your "porn name" from the name of your first pet and the name of the street you grew up on. My result--the same--Joe Golfer.
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  • Profile picture of the author ceenote100
    I'm quite a regular at my local Starbucks for the past five or six years and never bothered to give them a fake name. I don't understand why someone would do this unless they were a criminal.
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