Go Back   WarriorForum - Internet Marketing Forums > The Warrior Forum > Offline Marketing Discussions
Register Blogs FAQ Social Groups CalendarHelp Desk

Reply
 
Share
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 06-12-2012, 03:00 PM   #1
Banned
War Room Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 209
Thanks: 15
Thanked 24 Times in 17 Posts
Default Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

Hi,

I was looking at your website and noticed the layout was slightly outdated and some areas are unfinished. I also noticed your website has no Google Places Function or Mobile Web Design.

In the modern age of technology and Mobile Phones getting increasingly popular, Google Places and Mobile Web Design are essential if you wish to attract more customers.

1/5 of every search for a business is done through a mobile device and 1/3 of those are local. This means you are missing out on valuable customers looking to access your site through Mobile devices.

My name is Tim Green and I offer Online Marketing solutions for small to medium sized businesses.

Some services I offer are:

Web Design
Mobile Web Design
Search Engine Optimization
Local Search Engine Optimization
Google Places Optimization
Online/Offline Marketing

I am able to offer these services at very competitive prices and I have attached some previews of my work so you can get a feel for what I do.

If you are interested in any of my services please don't hesitate to reply to this Email or give me a call at: 0123456789

Thanks for your time,
Tim Green
TimGreen1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 03:08 PM   #2
Banned
War Room Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 209
Thanks: 15
Thanked 24 Times in 17 Posts
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBlogger View Post
I'm no expert, but looking at it from a site owner's perspective I'd add some personalised stuff in there. Start by addressing the site's name/site owner's name if you have it.

Also when you mention the site in question's layout etc. you might want to mention colours etc. so site owners know you didn't just copy and paste the email out again and again.

Takes a bit longer, but might turn 100 'straight-to-trashers' into at least 100 readers.

All in theory though! I'm completely new to this.
Thanks for the tips. Didn't think about that!
TimGreen1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 03:13 PM   #3
Banned
War Room Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Leeds, UK
Posts: 209
Thanks: 15
Thanked 24 Times in 17 Posts
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBlogger View Post
I'm no expert, but looking at it from a site owner's perspective I'd add some personalised stuff in there. Start by addressing the site's name/site owner's name if you have it.

Also when you mention the site in question's layout etc. you might want to mention colours etc. so site owners know you didn't just copy and paste the email out again and again.

Takes a bit longer, but might turn 100 'straight-to-trashers' into at least 100 readers.

All in theory though! I'm completely new to this.

Any ideas for the subject? Don't want to sound to spammy.
TimGreen1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 08:37 PM   #4
HyperActive Warrior
 
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 182
Thanks: 8
Thanked 13 Times in 13 Posts
Social Networking View Member's FaceBook Profile  View Member's Twitter Profile  View Member's YouTube Profile
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBlogger View Post
I'm no expert, but looking at it from a site owner's perspective I'd add some personalised stuff in there. Start by addressing the site's name/site owner's name if you have it.

Also when you mention the site in question's layout etc. you might want to mention colours etc. so site owners know you didn't just copy and paste the email out again and again.

Takes a bit longer, but might turn 100 'straight-to-trashers' into at least 100 readers.

All in theory though! I'm completely new to this.
It is, in fact, a good idea. If readers of this e-mail see that there are no "specifics" then it can be a result of an e-mail blast, which in my experience will immediately result in your e-mail being marked as spam.

As for the title of your e-mail, you can try to personalize it as well. You can try "Site redesign for [website URL]" or something like that.

Professional B2B Lead Generation and Appointment Setting through expert telemarketing. Need to know more? Click Here
Matt121 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-12-2012, 08:44 PM   #5
Smoke Free since Apr 6th
War Room Member
 
iAmNameLess's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Above The Fold
Posts: 5,068
Thanks: 791
Thanked 2,812 Times in 1,303 Posts
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

Email like this is very inefficient for generating business. BUT... emails can work if you put the numbers into play. However, your email copy sucks. Shorten it up, make it quick, 99.9% of people are going to delete it anyway... make it short enough to catch their eye while they're about to delete.

Getting ready to launch a white label web design & Local SEO service. If you want to be notified of updates, and other info, send me a PM with your email addy.
iAmNameLess is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2012, 01:17 AM   #6
Active Warrior
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 83
Thanks: 13
Thanked 14 Times in 12 Posts
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

That's exactly how I structured my sites, only to end up with no clients. hahahaha Anyways, I think iAmNameLess gave some great ideas.
justonce94 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2012, 01:24 AM   #7
Warrior Member
 
SmithR's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 11
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

I would also suggest to make it shorter and more eye catching.
You have to be more aggressive.

Do searches on google for businesses doing what you are offering
and copy what there doing.

Test...test...test...until you find the right one.
SmithR is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2012, 03:17 AM   #8
Active Warrior
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Australia
Posts: 62
Thanks: 1
Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts
Contact Info
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

I would keep it short and include how you will get more clients for them......Businesses need more profits and more customers and all we need to do is show them how we will do this...
everge is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2012, 08:58 PM   #9
Advanced Warrior
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 709
Thanks: 5
Thanked 50 Times in 50 Posts
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

I don't think its a good idea to point out people mistake and weakness at the 1st sentences which usually unwelcome and take as spam .
Why not said something good about their service and website then only point out some improvement they need to do to get more traffic and sales and just promote your services.
Get some catchy subject email would be best .

JerrickYeoh is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2012, 10:42 PM   #10
Isaac
 
IsaacWendt's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 91
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

Another thing you need to watch out for is the emails not even getting through. I had this problem and I really don't know why.

We Provide SEO and Web Design for Small and Local Business.
IsaacWendt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2012, 10:43 PM   #11
Warrior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 7
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

With the suggestions you should have a very good email.
pricelance is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-13-2012, 11:19 PM   #12
BAYO aka Mr B
War Room Member
 
Bayo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Chicago, IL, USA.
Posts: 1,665
Thanks: 214
Thanked 393 Times in 228 Posts
Social Networking View Member's FaceBook Profile  View Member's Twitter Profile  View Member's YouTube Profile
Contact Info
Default Re: Would this be a good Email to send to a potential client?

No.

The first reason is because it basically is you focused and does not speak to any reason why the business owner should take action.

This is the type of email that I get delivered to my business inbox on a regular basis and that I use in my coaching as a good example of what not to do. YOu may get some success but it won't be anything you can plan for the future of your business on because you cannot anticipate what your results are going to be into the future.

Because sending emails is relatively free, it doesn't mean that it shouldn't deliver value up front.

So not an email that I would recommend sending if you were asking me for my honest opinion.

BAYO

Bayo is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

  WarriorForum - Internet Marketing Forums > The Warrior Forum > Offline Marketing Discussions

Bookmarks

Tags
client, email, good, potential, send

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -6. The time now is 01:16 AM.