Would you critique my 15 second pitch?

6 replies
Would you critique my 15 second pitch?

Who's the target?
I am currently targeting restaurants who need services for exterior maintenance. We do in-house pressure washing, parking lot maintenance, and pretty soon lawn care.

Our service is for the restaurant who understands that we not only charge for the work being done to a high standard, but we also make it to be one less thing they have to worry about with guaranteed schedules in our maintenance programs.

What is their Pain?
Their pain point would be that contractors aren't reliable, and they can't service larger chains who have a ton of restaurants on a deadline. Where others fail, we succeed everytime.

Also, a lot of companies don't implement training in their business, which thus leaves just... BAD WORK at the facility. We also own state of the art equipment, whereas other companies do not.


Here is the 15 second pitch:

"Hi, My name is ______ from ______ and we offer complete exterior maintenance for year-long curb appeal. We do it differently by creating minimally invasive operations with guaranteed schedules, so you have one less thing to worry about in your busy schedule."

(option 1) "Would you like to know more?"
(option 2) "How is your company currently handling your exterior maintenance?"
#critique #pitch
  • We also offer maintenance programs for Shopping Centers, but I do not feel I am ready for them just yet. First I'd like to build my Restaurant Portfolio and get a better grip on sales.
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  • Profile picture of the author thet
    Originally Posted by Luis Michael Orts View Post

    Would you critique my 15 second pitch?

    Who's the target?
    I am currently targeting restaurants who need services for exterior maintenance. We do in-house pressure washing, parking lot maintenance, and pretty soon lawn care.

    Our service is for the restaurant who understands that we not only charge for the work being done to a high standard, but we also make it to be one less thing they have to worry about with guaranteed schedules.

    What is their Pain?
    Their pain point would be that contractors aren't reliable, and they can't service larger chains who have a ton of restaurants on a deadline. Where others fail, we succeed everytime.

    Also, a lot of companies don't implement training in their business, which thus leaves just... BAD WORK at the facility. We also own state of the art equipment, whereas other companies do not.


    Here is the 15 second pitch:

    "Hi, My name is ______ from ______ and we offer complete exterior maintenance for year-long curb appeal. We do it differently by creating minimally invasive operations with guaranteed schedules, so you have one less thing to worry about in your busy schedule."

    (option 1) "Would you like to know more?"
    (option 2) "How is your company currently handling your exterior maintenance?"
    I am from the idea of quick to the point, next.

    So, I would kick out the "We do it differently.... busy schedule". Blegh. salesperson.

    Perhaps something like:

    "Hi, My name is ______ from ______ and we offer complete exterior maintenance for year-long curb appeal. Would you be interested to have one less thing to worry about in your busy schedule?"

    Yes

    "Quick question then, How is your company currently handling your exterior maintenance?"

    blablabla

    "Great, I think we should meet. How is friday 2 o clock for you?"
    Signature

    Recognize reality even when you don't like it - especially when you don't like it.
    — Charlie Munger

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    • Profile picture of the author ewenmack
      Most restaurants don't own their complex,
      they rent it.

      Have you identified the one's which own them?

      Best,
      Doctor E. Vile
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  • Ewen, I figure this much...

    Some restaurants the rent from the Pad sites (or the ones that are solitary) are usually kept up with by corporate or management.

    There are 3 sub niches in this sub-niche.

    There is:

    Corporate Owned
    Franchise Owned
    Mom & Pop Owned

    It's nearly impossible to tell corporate from franchise owned apart, so my initial goal is to call and find out who the decision maker is prior to making this pitch.

    Once I have a better understanding of their internals, then I proceed to making the pitch to them.

    The Restaurants that are owned in Shopping Centers are typically taken care of by property management companies or direct with the owner (which is usually not the case with the owner)

    Property management companies are a WHOLE OTHER KIND OF BEAST
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  • Profile picture of the author Peter Lessard
    For the corporate and franchise owned I would hit Linkedin.
    You stated you want clients that value service over price.

    The message becomes simple.
    Are you happy with your current provider? We will not beat them on price but you will never have to worry about this again.

    I would be dropping messages that would say something like:

    "Hey Steve wondering if you could do me a favor? I'm looking for restaurants currently experiencing problems with their exterior maintenance because most providers are charging too little to deliver proper services or buy the right equipment.... If you or someone in your industry is experiencing problems I would love the chance to discuss if we might be good fit. We don't taken on everyone but those we do take on are very very happy."
    Signature
    Ready to generate the next million in sales? The Next Million Agency
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  • Sounds about right Peter. LinkedIn is apart of my marketing efforts, so I will MOST DEFINITELY do that.

    Copy and paste away! lol just kidding.

    What I'll also do is this... I'll try and find mutual connections, as I build connections... and instead of going in STONE COLD, I'll go in lukewarm

    haha

    Thanks a lot Peter. That's what I needed to hear.

    I'll also find other mediums to effectively target my clientele as well!
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