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Need Some Script Help

by BMGGT13
8 replies
Good morning everyone - Hope your weekend is great! Ok so I worked on my script some more and need some direction.... What improvements can I make? I made it a lot shorter... I am open to making it even shorter but don't know what to leave out. I am going to finalize the script by tonight - so I can start calling on Tuesday

--IF you are going to be Negative about my ideas and or website - please save your time and mine and not post anything - thanks!




Hello! This is Brandon from floridatripguides.com...

Did I catch you at an ok time?

The Open:
We let our visitors know WHERE to: Eat, Stay, Shop, and Play!

Floridatripguides.com is the new 'personalized' Florida destination website - that connects OUR visitors to YOUR business.
We are attracting thousands of visitors each month who are looking to enjoy themselves at a business like yours...


Warm Up:
How's the weather there today? Its beautiful but hot here in Orlando!

The Pitch:
Getting more business in your door is what's important ... correct?

Well then by adding your business today to our site will do just that. Just like other businesses have in your area - (name a few that have already purchased the listing)

Your business has the opportunity to stand out - not only in front of new potential customers to your area - but to stand out from your competition as well...

We have three listing types to choose from... With our Featured Listing $19.99/Mo or $199 ($40 in savings!) for the whole year - will list your business on the top of the search results!

Our most popular listings - is our 'Enhanced Listing'. It's only $9.99/Mo or $99 for the whole year! ($20 in savings!).

With both of these listings you will be able to add your logo, contact info, multiple categories, videos, pictures, website links and more! PLUS you'll receive our personal, positive 'TIP' - about what we liked about your business!
On top of all of that we will write a blog about your business as well!

Our free listing you can only add your address, business description, features and one category.

Where else can you find good quality advertising for less than $20 a month?

The Close:
So which listing would work best for (Business Name)? Head over to our site and click Join Us! So you can start seeing the benefits today!

I know I've given you a lot of information, so if I can have your email address, I can send you the simple details.

Once again my name is Brandon - owner of Florida Trip Guides.com!
#advise #cold calling #direction #sales #script
  • Profile picture of the author Freebiequeen1999
    How many threads are you going to start?

    You have been told the truth....maybe you need to hire a mentor or an ad agency or else just redo your site to make it salable? Here is a tip - anyone who encourages you or tries to say this is ok is only doing it to get paid. Since I don't sell wso or sell services here I am happy to tell you the truth which you don't want to hear ..."la la la la la I can't hear you"


    Here is one tip - your script is not good cause you put in a very simple lie - you are not in Orlando so why do you have to say you are....'the weather here"..blah blah
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    • Profile picture of the author Matthew North
      Originally Posted by Freebiequeen1999 View Post

      How many threads are you going to start?

      You have been told the truth....maybe you need to hire a mentor or an ad agency or else just redo your site to make it salable? Here is a tip - anyone who encourages you or tries to say this is ok is only doing it to get paid. Since I don't sell wso or sell services here I am happy to tell you the truth which you don't want to hear ..."la la la la la I can't hear you"


      Here is one tip - your script is not good cause you put in a very simple lie - you are not in Orlando so why do you have to say you are....'the weather here"..blah blah
      Why do all your posts seem confrontational, and perhaps, slightly bitter?

      Getting paid to provide value is exactly what people are learning how to do on this forum.

      OP
      You cant just start selling right away. Dont confuse prospecting with selling.

      You just want to find the buyers instead of forcing someone thats probably noy interestes in listening to you. Nothing you say can sound good to someone who is not a buyer.

      Talking this much at the start getd percieved as pushy, annoying, and aggressive.

      It comes across as desperate like a spam email. As I said, everything about it is coming from completely the wrong positioning.

      Now, let me patch you back up.

      Ask a few questions at the start to see discover if they are interested in your offer or not.

      Isnt thie how YOU would like to be sold? It lets you speak to the buyers faster.

      Think of a main benefit people get from your service.

      And turn that into a question which you ask before saying anything else. Thie is your red light, green light if the call will continue or not.

      You sinply cannot use theory when writing a script. It needs to be tested for weeks before you will get a wotking model.

      My advice is to go through all the responses youve had so far. It seems you are looking more for encouragement than an analysis or advice. I dont know, I could be wrong.

      I do hope you are successful with this. Nail it out until the bitter end.
      Signature

      you cant hold no groove if you ain't got no pocket.

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      • Profile picture of the author Freebiequeen1999
        Originally Posted by Matthew North View Post

        Why do all your posts seem confrontational, and perhaps, slightly bitter?

        Getting paid to provide value is exactly what people are learning how to do on this forum.

        OP
        You cant just start selling right away. Dont confuse prospecting with selling.

        You just want to find the buyers instead of forcing someone thats probably noy interestes in listening to you. Nothing you say can sound good to someone who is not a buyer.

        Talking this much at the start getd percieved as pushy, annoying, and aggressive.

        It comes across as desperate like a spam email. As I said, everything about it is coming from completely the wrong positioning.

        Now, let me patch you back up.

        Ask a few questions at the start to see discover if they are interested in your offer or not.

        Isnt thie how YOU would like to be sold? It lets you speak to the buyers faster.

        Think of a main benefit people get from your service.

        And turn that into a question which you ask before saying anything else. Thie is your red light, green light if the call will continue or not.

        You sinply cannot use theory when writing a script. It needs to be tested for weeks before you will get a wotking model.

        My advice is to go through all the responses youve had so far. It seems you are looking more for encouragement than an analysis or advice. I dont know, I could be wrong.

        I do hope you are successful with this. Nail it out until the bitter end.
        ??? Getting paid to provide value? what value may I ask?
        Gee I thought this was a place where people who actually work offline could share experiences, ideas...without having stuff shoved at you to buy.

        There should be some honesty and integrity....the many posts directed to a "bad offer" to help someone sell something that is totally flawed are doing NO good

        ----- they are only giving false hope or trying to sell him something

        ----- when so called "experts" see something so flawed and so "false"...how can they help someone try to sell it? If I decide to sell used kleenex will you help me figure ways to perfect a phone pitch, an email blast, a sales page? I am sure some would help me out like that for a cost LOL

        Used Kleenex - free boogers - what a plan

        The fact is that I took my own time to look at this site, I live in Florida, I have been in every city and area on there (I used to travel for sales - yeah I actually know what I am talking about, not just theory)....I pointed out huge flaws in the site - just in my city alone

        the fact is that they have put up a site which is based on false reviews and "tips"



        not fair to the potential travelers ....and not fair to any business who would (?) pay for this

        to encourage this is really not fair to the OP ..you know, and I know, and just about everyone here knows this is not going to sell

        I will say this..far from "admiring" the kind folks who continue to help out here it makes me question their own integrity

        I put up some links to very successful "marketers" who went to prison (Don committed suicide rather than go to prison)....for false info. Really the only difference is that they were hugely successful. I have made the analogy that William McCorkle was busted for "paying actors for testimony">> yet we see people here who are OK with "fiverr reviewers"

        and I guess we see people here who are willing to help others sell anything for a buck
        used kleenex? sure

        Maybe I will start a website to sell dogmeat to restaurants like that horrible one in NYC....I am sure some "mentors" will rush in with a mind map for me to buy
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    • Profile picture of the author Underground
      Originally Posted by Freebiequeen1999 View Post

      How many threads are you going to start?

      You have been told the truth....maybe you need to hire a mentor or an ad agency or else just redo your site to make it salable? Here is a tip - anyone who encourages you or tries to say this is ok is only doing it to get paid. Since I don't sell wso or sell services here I am happy to tell you the truth which you don't want to hear ..."la la la la la I can't hear you"


      Here is one tip - your script is not good cause you put in a very simple lie - you are not in Orlando so why do you have to say you are....'the weather here"..blah blah
      When you posted that Don Lapre video yesterday I was watching, and the image of a dribbling, wide-eyed fool completely sold and hanging on every word came into my head.

      I've been one. When I first used to see things here I thought no-one is going to be making these claims, surely, not on place with lots of people where they could be called out, so I used to taken in at first.


      Here's what I've notice in my years of deep frustration trying to the get the truth through to people.


      They don't want to hear want the truth!

      Imagine that. They really do not want it. Like children, instead of grown adults. It still freaks me out and makes my blood run cold. I still can't fathom it, because I absolutely have to look to find what it is in any given situation. I try to keep away from groups like that. It's actually groups of people in general.

      In politics, religion, biz opp, life.

      Most people are not prepared to or are even interested in factual, objective reality. They just want to stay in their nice little comfort zone where the certainty of their beliefs pacify them.

      I can see it baffles you just as much as me.

      I will never get my head 'round it. You're trying to do them a favour but you become the villain, the hater, the know-it-all, or whatever. I just have to learn to keep stepping away when I know I'm dealing with those people. The ''no haters, please, just smoke blowers willing to indulge me'' crowd.
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  • Profile picture of the author joe golfer
    I was clicking around and tried to click this restaurant from a map:
    La Te Da Restaurant | Florida Trip Guides

    The only thing that came up was a jumbly block of code snippets, maybe Woo Commerce code it looks like.

    I did another search for aquariums and the map showed the French countryside.Something is wacky on your map thing. If you called me at my business, I would pull the site online as we were talking, click around just like I did, and these glitches would not give me confidence to spend money there. Hope that helps.
    Signature
    Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
    - Jack Trout
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  • Profile picture of the author joe golfer
    Way too much generic information. And you are selling from the jump. Let me at least sit down and get a drink of water before you start telling me the daily specials.

    My experience with these types of sites is you have to sell the local angle. Nobody really expects to get any significant business from the listing, but active local marketers like to be visible in the community.

    So start by selling the big local advertisers that are seen everywhere, focus on community, and then use their participation to get the small fry. You could get a big local advertiser to buy a listing with one phone call.

    Then you have to keep them continually informed on new site features and developments, not only for cross sells and upsells, but to show you are a growing, active, vibrant, viable business they want to stay involved with. If you just take the listing and run without servicing the accounts, you will be dead within months.

    But if it were me, I would focus on making the site more functional before trying to market it.
    Signature
    Marketing is not a battle of products. It is a battle of perceptions.
    - Jack Trout
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    • Profile picture of the author savidge4
      Originally Posted by joe golfer View Post

      But if it were me, I would focus on making the site more functional before trying to market it.
      It really can not be said enough UX UX UX.

      Regardless of what all of the haters are saying...it really is a viable plan. but the visual end of the product ( your website ) has to maybe not be spot on.. but getting there.

      User Experience ( UX ) is the key to this. You have all the pieces.. the issue is you really don't know how to use them yet. I don't know which one you are using ( plugin ) but understanding categories and tags and all of that stuff to get pages to sort and display in a meaningful matter is pretty important.

      Looking at the pages you do have. there is no rhyme or reason to them. there should be a pretty standard template how information is laid out and displayed. look to Expedia for inspiration. All of their layout and such can be done with a bit of knowledge and wordpress shortcode. look up column shortcode. learn it, love it, master it. It will be the difference between "ah that sucks" to "hey that looks nice."

      Again I have said this before your "content" is not in context to who your target audience is. do you even know who your target audience is? do you know the top 5 location pulls for each of the communities you are servicing? Do you really know any of the demographics involved in your site?

      I have said it to you, and many times before a Directory is a business.. and until you treat it as such, you have a failing business on your hands.
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      Success is an ACT not an idea
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  • Profile picture of the author writeaway
    Why not use the cold call to give them a freebie instead? Email them a free report or digital brochure? Put case studies in the materials you give out for free.

    As for costs, you can outsource this for DIRT CHEAP to outbound call centers in the Philippines.
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