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How can I improve my script?

by Harpoin
14 replies
Hi.

I recently started my own telemarketing company. My first project is selling home fire alarm systems, over the phone. It's actually a great product but I'm having a hard time cold calling and actually getting good results.

It seems to me that most people on this forum (or on the internet) only discusses cold calling for things like, real estate, expensive home security system etc. And usually it's only about making contact, not actually closing a sale right away.

This is a pretty cheap product, but very effective.

I'm going to post the first part of my script here, since the whole thing is pretty long. I would Love some feedback on it. This is everything before the close:


Hello. My name is NAME and I am calling from COMPANY. (Pause)

I'm not going to take up too much of your time, I just wanted to ask what kind of fire security you have in your home today..?

As you probably already know, there's about NUMBER of home fires every year. So that turns out to NUMBER Every Day!

I'd like to ask you, have you ever been exposed to this or know someone that has?

If yes: ask about it.
If no: Okay, well then you can truly feel fortunate as there has been about NUMBER of home fires just in the last few years.

Home fires are more common today than ever before, this is because of all the electronics we are using, such as chargers, televisions etc.


For example, if you are asleep and a fire starts in your home, then you're going to wake up and do something about it right? (Wait for customer response)
But, have you thought about what would happen to your home if a fire starts, and you are not at home?

An insurance company may cover some of your material things, such as the sofa and TV, but there's no insurance company in the world that can replace your personal belongings, such as old memories and stuff with a sentimental value, right?

Now:
Tell them about the product, why it's great, what it costs and close the deal.
What can I improve in my opener atleast?
#improve #script
  • Profile picture of the author Oziboomer
    Now I may get brought down in flames here...but...

    maybe a test of something like...

    Hi, This is Ozi....because of the recent house fires in the area, my company is conducting an audit of working smoke detectors in [INSERT COMMUNITY]

    How many smoke detectors do you have and when did you last have them tested?

    My company is offering free "in-home" smoke alarm testing and complimentary battery replacements for all residents who qualify.

    Our forensic fire assessment team is working in your street next week and has a few slots available to swap over your dud batteries and while they are there they will conduct a full fire audit for your property with our compliments.

    When is the best time to swing by?
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    • Profile picture of the author Harpoin
      Originally Posted by Oziboomer View Post

      Now I may get brought down in flames here...but...

      maybe a test of something like...

      Hi, This is Ozi....because of the recent house fires in the area, my company is conducting an audit of working smoke detectors in [INSERT COMMUNITY]

      How many smoke detectors do you have and when did you last have them tested?

      My company is offering free "in-home" smoke alarm testing and complimentary battery replacements for all residents who qualify.

      Our forensic fire assessment team is working in your street next week and has a few slots available to swap over your dud batteries and while they are there they will conduct a full fire audit for your property with our compliments.

      When is the best time to swing by?
      Thank you alot, I appreciate the help.
      However, this is a product that has to be sold over the phone as we are selling all over the country.

      Also, I don't think it's good to say "because of the recent house fires in the area". Because if people think it's already happened in their area, it's not going to happen again.
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      • Profile picture of the author Oziboomer
        Originally Posted by Harpoin View Post

        Also, I don't think it's good to say "because of the recent house fires in the area". Because if people think it's already happened in their area, it's not going to happen again.
        You can sell it over the phone...

        The local aspect and leveraging news stories from the local area is powerful.

        Where I am we are just coming out of winter and there have been four major fires reported on all the main TV news broadcasts in the last three days.

        One was in a area where 8 people lost their lives only a couple of years ago...same neighbourhood.

        One was a huge mattress factory fire that put about 50 people out of work.

        Another the owners escaped but their pets didn't.

        These types of stories give you local content that you can converse on when you get someone engaged on the phone.

        Even though I don't sell fire prevention equipment you can bet when I'm selling a "pet related" product I can talk to the pet lover about "how those poor people lost their pet"

        Finding the hook in each conversation and building on that opening is where it is really at and that is not really a script but experience that people who have done it over and over get a feeling for.

        The script is the starting point but the ability to engage the listener and provide a conversation that will ultimately lead them to the sale is what separates the inexperienced from the top results getters.

        Ewen will have some input here as will Claude.

        Understanding the nuances and reacting with precise proven methods comes from people with experience and sometimes that can be imparted onto you but other times it just flies right over people's heads because it takes a certain level of understanding to implement what might be explained in words but can really only be learned through experience and observation.
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        • Profile picture of the author Harpoin
          Originally Posted by cgkoste View Post

          So, I know a thing or two about cold calling-I still do it today, and I've done cold calling for over 10 years, selling everything from PPC for Yahoo! - (I actually closed the Trump organization on a PPC deal) Educational software, vacuum cleaners, coupon books, Internet Marketing services, and for Microsoft.

          Cold Calling is a numbers game and your success rate has a lot to do with the list you have. Just like in any marketing, if you are selling to everyone your chances go down, compared to a target market, and a decent list.

          With that out of the way- Ozzieboomer has a great approach. The short survey on smoke detectors and the reason for the call- fires in the area.

          One thing that you should do is do heavy calling around the 2 weeks before and after daylight savings. The 'rule of thumb' is to change your batteries and test twice a year. Daylight savings has become the standard of 'check your smoke detectors'.

          It is also easier to do a warm call- a call after following up on a mailer.

          Good Luck!

          Courtney
          I will try to work in the "recent fires" thingy somehow.. Hm, it's gonna be though to get smooth but I will def give it a good try!

          Originally Posted by bizgrower View Post

          You need to work in a question that will get prospects to think about the need for your system or product. Create the desire to talk to you. Search Ewenmack's posts about reframing customer focus.

          You said it's a system as opposed to the smoke detector we're all thinking about. What's different and better about it? Can you put that in your opening question? ie. "Have you thought about a fire detection system that...?"

          Have you thought about marketing through insurance agents?

          Is there application for small businesses such as restaurants and hotels...?

          Dan
          Hm, def some good response from you Dan! I'm trying to create a need with the "Have you ever thought about what will happen to your home if a fire starts and you're not at home?"

          No application for businesses, as almost most of them already have expensive home security systems.

          Originally Posted by Oziboomer View Post

          You can sell it over the phone...

          The local aspect and leveraging news stories from the local area is powerful.

          Where I am we are just coming out of winter and there have been four major fires reported on all the main TV news broadcasts in the last three days.

          One was in a area where 8 people lost their lives only a couple of years ago...same neighbourhood.

          One was a huge mattress factory fire that put about 50 people out of work.

          Another the owners escaped but their pets didn't.

          These types of stories give you local content that you can converse on when you get someone engaged on the phone.

          Even though I don't sell fire prevention equipment you can bet when I'm selling a "pet related" product I can talk to the pet lover about "how those poor people lost their pet"

          Finding the hook in each conversation and building on that opening is where it is really at and that is not really a script but experience that people who have done it over and over get a feeling for.

          The script is the starting point but the ability to engage the listener and provide a conversation that will ultimately lead them to the sale is what separates the inexperienced from the top results getters.

          Ewen will have some input here as will Claude.

          Understanding the nuances and reacting with precise proven methods comes from people with experience and sometimes that can be imparted onto you but other times it just flies right over people's heads because it takes a certain level of understanding to implement what might be explained in words but can really only be learned through experience and observation.
          Great stuff. I will try to work this in my script, and/or just try to freestyle it after some practice.

          This is why I put the "I'd like to ask you, have you ever been exposed to this or know someone that has?" question in there. However, most people answers no to this. Maybe I should implement it as, always giving some kind of story of a fire, that have been related to them in some way, like in their neighbourhood etc.
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      • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
        Originally Posted by Harpoin View Post


        Also, I don't think it's good to say "because of the recent house fires in the area". Because if people think it's already happened in their area, it's not going to happen again.
        No. It's the opposite. There have always been recent fires in any area. You can always say it, as a truth.

        And your thinking that, " if people think it's already happened in their area, it's not going to happen again" isn't what most people are thinking.

        I like Oziboomer's idea of the survey. Of course, it isn't really a survey, you are finding out if they are a viable prospect, who is likely to buy from you today. Your sales talk begins immediately after the survey, seamlessly.

        The most important part is, what is better about your product that is unique? What are you offering (that's important to them) that they can't get somewhere else? Make the important point that cheap fire alarms don't notify the fire department. And think of at least 5 advantages of that. And push that difference.
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  • Profile picture of the author cgkoste
    So, I know a thing or two about cold calling-I still do it today, and I've done cold calling for over 10 years, selling everything from PPC for Yahoo! - (I actually closed the Trump organization on a PPC deal) Educational software, vacuum cleaners, coupon books, Internet Marketing services, and for Microsoft.

    Cold Calling is a numbers game and your success rate has a lot to do with the list you have. Just like in any marketing, if you are selling to everyone your chances go down, compared to a target market, and a decent list.

    With that out of the way- Ozzieboomer has a great approach. The short survey on smoke detectors and the reason for the call- fires in the area.

    One thing that you should do is do heavy calling around the 2 weeks before and after daylight savings. The 'rule of thumb' is to change your batteries and test twice a year. Daylight savings has become the standard of 'check your smoke detectors'.

    It is also easier to do a warm call- a call after following up on a mailer.

    Good Luck!

    Courtney
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  • Profile picture of the author bizgrower
    You need to work in a question that will get prospects to think about the need for your system or product. Create the desire to talk to you. Search Ewenmack's posts about reframing customer focus.

    You said it's a system as opposed to the smoke detector we're all thinking about. What's different and better about it? Can you put that in your opening question? ie. "Have you thought about a fire detection system that...?"

    Have you thought about marketing through insurance agents?

    Is there application for small businesses such as restaurants and hotels...?

    Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author jamesfreddyc
    My immediate thought was, "why would i buy a smoke detector over the phone when I can just run to Home Depot, buy the thing, get home and put it on the wall? I could be done with this entire process in 45 minutes."

    Maybe you can find something useful out of that?
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    • Profile picture of the author Lance K
      Originally Posted by jamesfreddyc View Post

      My immediate thought was, "why would i buy a smoke detector over the phone when I can just run to Home Depot, buy the thing, get home and put it on the wall? I could be done with this entire process in 45 minutes."

      Maybe you can find something useful out of that?
      This part leads me to believe he's not selling smoke detectors.

      But, have you thought about what would happen to your home if a fire starts, and you are not at home?
      Maybe work that part into your call a little sooner. Otherwise, like jamesfreddyc said a lot of people may be confused on what you're offering & hang up before you get to it.
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      • Profile picture of the author jamesfreddyc
        Originally Posted by Lance K View Post

        This part...



        leads me to believe he's not selling smoke detectors.
        I think most consumers are going to be thinking like what I mentioned.
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        • Profile picture of the author Lance K
          Originally Posted by jamesfreddyc View Post

          I think most consumers are going to be thinking like what I mentioned.
          Agreed. You typed your reply faster than I could add my edit.
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    • Profile picture of the author Harpoin
      Originally Posted by jamesfreddyc View Post

      My immediate thought was, "why would i buy a smoke detector over the phone when I can just run to Home Depot, buy the thing, get home and put it on the wall? I could be done with this entire process in 45 minutes."

      Maybe you can find something useful out of that?
      Oh, well. The reason is that this fire alarm is connected to an alarm center so you get a call if it detects smoke in your home.

      But I suppose I should make that clearer in the script earlier on! Thanks man!

      I'll answer more later, I'm a little busy at the moment.
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  • Profile picture of the author SalesGod
    I think that scripts a pretty good template. Just try to keep it as short as possible, get your point across fast, and don't hang up that phone until it closes.
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  • Profile picture of the author umc
    I think maybe you could couch the whole thing as a public service.

    Hello __________, my name is ________ with _________ company and we're doing a public service by reaching out to local homeowners and asking if you know that last time that you checked your smoke detector. Do you know when you last checked it? (If they know that, do you know the last time you replaced your batteries?)

    I think that could be a good opener because the reality is that most people have no idea when they've done either. They likely have some measure of insecurity on the matter, as most of us are busy people and we don't check the smoke detectors as often as we should. I don't even know how often you're supposed to without looking it up, so it would get me thinking.

    Once you've tapped into that weak spot, point out the benefits of your company in a succinct manner:

    We find that a lot of people are busy with work and kids and everything else in life and they just don't have time to keep up with things like that. We actually have a product/service that keeps up with that for you and even contacts the proper authorities in the case of such an emergency. I know that you care about your family and possessions and would love to offer you the opportunity to get in on this special deal or whatever it is that you have to sell.

    That's just how I would likely approach it. Ultimately you have to find something that fits your personality that comes off smooth and that engages people. Different strokes for different folks. I've always favored brief scripts that hit quick.

    So, you started your own telemarketing company. Let me ask, do you have any telemarketing experience? You certainly don't need any, I was just wondering. It is tough to learn as you go, but I've done it time and time again in different service businesses. Congrats on putting yourself out there. Now, get to work!
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