Will any of these cold emails to offline prospects get bites?

Whoa, wait... before we get into the emails, you want to redirect already existing, ranking, websites to a website that isn't ranking?

I would rethink that if I were you.

Now the emails, since you have an example I think it would probably work.

My preference would be to provide a bit more value in the email.

Tell them what they can do to rank their website better, and then at the end give your pitch.

Show them what is actually involved in replicating your success, most that are interested in how, will be hooked on your CTA.

I predict they'll be seen as spam and deleted by 99.99% of recipients.

Be interested in your results, if you'd care to share, then we don't have to argue...

The first email is too hype-y and with just about any email soliciting for business they would both quickly get discarded.

Both emails do not clearly tell the business owner what they are getting.

This what they are getting...

They are buying real estate.

The old adage "Location, Location, Location" rings true with most business owners.

My approach >>
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Is your location generating you the ideal number of customers?

Normally to get more customers you would have to move to a better location.

What if you could already get customers from a "better" location but save the moving costs?

How does that sound?

That's where I come in.

My business has prime locations bustling with customers and they need someone like you to service their needs.

"Now...I'm not asking you to move because that would be impractical"

"I'm not even asking you to invest more time"

All I'm suggesting is if you hang up a sign in my prime location you'd be the go-to guy for these customers eager to buy what you are selling.

But...I'm not renting signs if that's what you're thinking.

My business rents prime "online real-estate"

Want to see what I mean...type "Local emergency plumber Canton" into Google or Bing and see who has the prime spot after the ads.

If you want that spot

Then it could be yours...overnight.

I'm a small business owner like you so I understand you are skeptical.

That's why you can try it out for 30-60 -90 days and if my "Location, Location, Location" doesn't deliver at least XXX number of hot prospects all you pay is (insert measly amount here).

I sent this email to Bob from XYZ plumbing just around the corner from you and he asked me to call him after 4pm tomorrow.

Call me on (insert cel) before 4pm if this interests you.

My company has a strict policy of only working with one plumber in Canton.

Yours....

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How many websites do you have to rent?

If it was only a few and in specific niches within a local area why not just call each business in the niche and offer them the sites?

At least you would know if there was any interest in what you are offering and it wouldn't take that long to do if they are just local businesses.

I wouldn't mention page one rankings or anything like that.

I'd just ask if the business is advertising online.

If yes then explain you help businesses get better results for a lower cost.

Then show how you can compliment their efforts and help save them money by adding your service to their marketing mix.

If you are generating quality leads go so far as offering a solid risk reversal guarantee for them to try you out.

Give them a trial offer at a reduced cost for 90 days but if they want to continue they must commit to a longer contract within 60 days otherwise you will be offering those leads to a "known" competitor after their trial period expires.

Rather than sending to cold leads why not buy a list od selected prospects from someone like Acxiom http://www.acxiom.com They are well priced and provide highly targeted prospects.

Best regards,

Ozi