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I'm confused - can someone help me abridge this headline?

by Springwell
7 replies
Hello warriors,

i've been battling with this headline for the couple of hours and i feel it is not captivating enough.

Can someone help me out with a more captivating headline?

"LEARN HOW TO BECOME AN AMAZING AND EXPERT USER OF SAGE 50 & QUICKBOOKS ACCOUNTING PACKAGE SIMPLY BY FOLLOWING THESE EASY-TO-USE, STEP-BY-STEP VIDEO TUTORIALS"

Thanks in advance.

Springwell
#abridge #confused #headline
  • Profile picture of the author Oziboomer
    You may want to try the copywriting forum for a better response.

    1st only target one user for one system. It wants to resonate with the person who is struggling with the software. most of these accounting packages have pretty clear training themselves however so why anyone would buy a training package on how to use them is a bit weird to me.

    Here's my take anyway.

    Quickbooks slave? Freedom awaits in under 47 minutes.

    Best regards,

    Ozi



    Originally Posted by Springwell View Post

    Hello warriors,

    i've been battling with this headline for the couple of hours and i feel it is not captivating enough.

    Can someone help me out with a more captivating headline?

    "LEARN HOW TO BECOME AN AMAZING AND EXPERT USER OF SAGE 50 & QUICKBOOKS ACCOUNTING PACKAGE SIMPLY BY FOLLOWING THESE EASY-TO-USE, STEP-BY-STEP VIDEO TUTORIALS"

    Thanks in advance.

    Springwell
    Signature
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    • Profile picture of the author Springwell
      Thanks Oziboomer,

      it is a two-in-one video tutorial that is housed in a single DVD and so a bonus for whosoever buys the Quickbooks tutorial.

      Just thought of this headline -

      "The Ultimate Cheat Sheet
      Easy-To-Follow, Step-By-Step Sage 50 & QuickBooks Video
      Tutorials in Under 4hrs or Less"

      What do you think of this?

      cc
      Savidge4
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      • Profile picture of the author umc
        Originally Posted by Springwell View Post

        Thanks Oziboomer,

        it is a two-in-one video tutorial that is housed in a single DVD and so a bonus for whosoever buys the Quickbooks tutorial.

        Just thought of this headline -

        "The Ultimate Cheat Sheet
        Easy-To-Follow, Step-By-Step Sage 50 & QuickBooks Video
        Tutorials in Under 4hrs or Less"

        What do you think of this?

        cc
        Savidge4
        If something is step by step, it is going to be easy to follow. If something is under 4 hours, it will be less than 4 hours. It's like you're determined to use too many words. It is clunky and not smooth like some of the suggestions here, all of which you seemed to take nothing from.
        Signature

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        Get out of your own way in business. It's personal. Click Here

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        • Profile picture of the author Springwell
          Originally Posted by umc View Post

          If something is step by step, it is going to be easy to follow. If something is under 4 hours, it will be less than 4 hours. It's like you're determined to use too many words. It is clunky and not smooth like some of the suggestions here, all of which you seemed to take nothing from.

          Thanks for the correction.

          I'm going with DABK's counsel.

          Regards.
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  • Profile picture of the author savidge4
    Originally Posted by Springwell View Post

    Hello warriors,

    i've been battling with this headline for the couple of hours and i feel it is not captivating enough.

    Can someone help me out with a more captivating headline?

    "LEARN HOW TO BECOME AN AMAZING AND EXPERT USER OF SAGE 50 & QUICKBOOKS ACCOUNTING PACKAGE SIMPLY BY FOLLOWING THESE EASY-TO-USE, STEP-BY-STEP VIDEO TUTORIALS"

    Thanks in advance.

    Springwell
    Sage50/Quickbooks for dummies Accountants ( put a line through "dummies" - accountants are not dummies! ) Easy to follow Videos for Accountants, by accountants
    Signature
    Success is an ACT not an idea
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  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    Master QuickBooks and Sage 50 in xhours!
    Step-by-step video tutorials make it child's play
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  • Profile picture of the author dave147
    Become an EXPERT USER of SAGE 50 & QUICKBOOKS ACCOUNTING Package
    with Only 3 STEP-BY-STEP Videos!
    Signature

    THESE PRODUCTS FREE @ adsense-expert
    When You Get The 300 Logo Templates Here
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