local seo postcard - design - feedback

by skoh
99 replies



What do you guys think of this postcard? I need some feedback on what needs to be changed. I really want to target local businesses for targeted keywords.

Thank You
#design #feedback #local #postcard #seo
  • Profile picture of the author cassidywilliams
    What you're saying is too long. Stick to one message, free audit. You can sell them the rest once they sign up for the free audit.
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by cassidywilliams View Post

      What you're saying is too long. Stick to one message, free audit. You can sell them the rest once they sign up for the free audit.
      this is also very informative

      thank you
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  • Profile picture of the author yukon
    Banned
    [DELETED]
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by yukon View Post

      The text is generic.

      I would add the business name for each business I sent a card to, & make that text (business name) in bold.
      great advice, taking action on this. thank you.
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh



    Or is this landscape style better?
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    • Profile picture of the author DeborahDera
      I like the landscape option better. The text needs to be shortened (I agree with the others). If you do keep it as-is, you need to correct the phrasing.

      "Contact me for your free website audit and how,..."
      Do you mean "...and to find out how...?

      I'd eliminate the bottom line of small text altogether. It's only a postcard, so they're likely to see the back first or flip it over anyway.
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  • Profile picture of the author mr2monster
    Landscape is better, but it's too wordy.

    Also, either try and condense the copy into maybe 10 words at most, or come up with a great headline that stands out that is super short and tells them what your offer does for them.

    I'd maybe think about changing the color of the font too. Everything else is so colorful that the gray kind of fades away and doesn't get read until last.

    You've only got about 2 seconds to make an impression.


    Don't forget that your postcard won't always end up facing upwards like that when the prospect sees it... so the back side needs to be attention drawing too.
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  • Profile picture of the author WarForNom
    FREE website audit.

    Put yourself above your competition.

    Gain clients with the "A" spot on major local search engines.
    [where the "A" is represented by repeating the image of
    the inverted teardrop marker in the same size as it appears on the map]

    Flip this card now!
     
     
     
    I thought the above was stronger copy, but then I looked again and realized I had misread the original offer. Apparently the result of the offer, per se, is not improved placement. Improved placement would result from your "services" beyond the audit--which is fine. But the result of this offer is a free audit which goes completely undescribed.

    If I get this in the mail I read it once and it sounds pretty good, but before I sign up I read it again and think: "What will the free audit actually put in my hands? There is no indication here." Maybe it is worthless and I'm just trading my valuable contact info for nothing much. Right?

    So in addition to "more about your services" on the flipside, maybe you should include some expression of what the free audit will give me. I think you have to sell me on the value of the free audit before I'll give you a crack at selling me your other services.

    By the way, I am personally very interested in just such services right now. I'm not (yet, anyway) an internet marketer but a local professional here to address my SEO needs.

    As it stands this piece in my postbox would definitely have caught my attention, but I almost surely would not have acted right away. Rather I would more or less "file" it while continuing my research into local SEO options. Whereas, depending on what the free audit actually consists of I might well reply there and then .

    Just one opinion, but it comes from your target market.

    Good luck with it!
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by WarForNom View Post

      FREE website audit.

      Put yourself above your competition.

      Gain clients with the "A" spot on major local search engines.
      [where the "A" is represented by repeating the image of
      the inverted teardrop marker in the same size as it appears on the map]

      Flip this card now!
       
       
       
      I thought the above was stronger copy, but then I looked again and realized I had misread the original offer. Apparently the result of the offer, per se, is not improved placement. Improved placement would result from your "services" beyond the audit--which is fine. But the result of this offer is a free audit which goes completely undescribed.

      If I get this in the mail I read it once and it sounds pretty good, but before I sign up I read it again and think: "What will the free audit actually put in my hands? There is no indication here." Maybe it is worthless and I'm just trading my valuable contact info for nothing much. Right?

      So in addition to "more about your services" on the flipside, maybe you should include some expression of what the free audit will give me. I think you have to sell me on the value of the free audit before I'll give you a crack at selling me your other services.

      By the way, I am personally very interested in just such services right now. I'm not (yet, anyway) an internet marketer but a local professional here to address my SEO needs.

      As it stands this piece in my postbox would definitely have caught my attention, but I almost surely would not have acted right away. Rather I would more or less "file" it while continuing my research into local SEO options. Whereas, depending on what the free audit actually consists of I might well reply there and then .

      Just one opinion, but it comes from your target market.

      Good luck with it!
      I wanted to just throw the bait out there with the "free" audit but all that would do is point out why your onsite "seo" needs work and why you need the "right" backlinks to beat every other tom, dick and harrys "seo".

      I also do not just do onsite SEO, I can get the A position for google places with a little bit of the right sauce. So I have the ability to do what the offer indicates, just my copy is very poor right now.

      I like what your wrote, it's very informative but i'm still at a dead end where to go with your advice.

      what do you think would make you act on this offer?
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      • Profile picture of the author paulie888
        Originally Posted by skoh View Post

        I wanted to just throw the bait out there with the "free" audit but all that would do is point out why your onsite "seo" sucks and why you need the "right" backlinks to beat every other tom, dick and harrys "seo".

        I also do not just do onsite SEO, I can get the A position for google places with a little bit of the right sauce. So I have the ability to do what the offer indicates, just my copy is very poor right now.

        I like what your wrote, it's very informative but i'm still at a dead end where to go with your advice.

        what do you think would make you act on this offer?
        Personally, I'd impress upon the business owner the stuff included in the audit, you could call it a 10-point audit (or whatever number you choose) and list out what you'll be analyzing, BUT word it in laymen's terms so that the business owner will understand you. You do not want to confuse them with big words like SEO, PPC and keyword density!
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        • Profile picture of the author skoh
          Originally Posted by paulie888 View Post

          Personally, I'd impress upon the business owner the stuff included in the audit, you could call it a 10-point audit (or whatever number you choose) and list out what you'll be analyzing, BUT word it in laymen's terms so that the business owner will understand you. You do not want to confuse them with big words like SEO, PPC and keyword density!

          This is great advice, but the real hook is how to get on the front page for your geo-targeted keyword phrase. Moreover, you would with my services rank in the A position for google places.

          Most small mom and pop shops to even mid-sized biz aren't even singed up for google places. We're talking about PRIME time web 2.0 / social bookmarking here.

          I don't know why more businesses haven't hired someone to do this if they haven't already themselves.

          The real challenge with this is getting the free audit to blend with with the actual service that is to be performed.
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      • Profile picture of the author WarForNom
        Originally Posted by skoh View Post

        I wanted to just throw the bait out there with the "free" audit but all that would do is point out why your onsite "seo" needs work and why you need the "right" backlinks to beat every other tom, dick and harrys "seo".

        I also do not just do onsite SEO, I can get the A position for google places with a little bit of the right sauce. So I have the ability to do what the offer indicates, just my copy is very poor right now.

        I like what your wrote, it's very informative but i'm still at a dead end where to go with your advice.

        what do you think would make you act on this offer?
        Since my post and yours in response, numerous apparently powerful ideas were presented.

        As for what would have made me bite on the original offer? I really think that if I was given the sense--through some specifics--that the free audit itself had value for me I would have visited a website or called a toll-free number.

        Feel free to message me. <hint, hint>
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        • Profile picture of the author skoh
          Originally Posted by WarForNom View Post

          Since my post and yours in response, numerous apparently powerful ideas were presented.

          As for what would have made me bite on the original offer? I really think that if I was given the sense--through some specifics--that the free audit itself had value for me I would have visited a website or called a toll-free number.

          Feel free to message me. <hint, hint>
          I think i'm going to go over some of the methods described above on my postcard and just wing it!

          I will then follow up with all the customers I don't hear back from with a phone call.(I know, I always hated telemarketers!) But I will offer something free, like getting them on the map at least!

          There is still work involved in doing that, like finding the businesses co ordinates (lat / long ) . Not rocket science but still work!

          I know if I were to speak with someone I could explain to them the benefits of having your website on the front page of super targeted geo-keyword searches.

          WarForNom; since you don't have 50 posts, I will just give you my email. rossb600atgmaildotcom

          Let me know what services you need.

          Ross
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  • Profile picture of the author paulie888
    I prefer the landscape style, and keep your message brief and to the point. Business owners are busy and you want to catch their attention right away, do not confuse them with a lengthy message like what you have now on your postcard.
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    • Profile picture of the author Sandra Martinez
      I like landscape better too...

      not loving the copy, it has too many filler words... I would use something like this (you transform it in real English, ok? ):

      If you want to:
      1. stay above the competition
      2. become an internet leads magnet
      3. access people looking for your product in your city


      then call us. FREE consultation.
      Sandra
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      • Profile picture of the author skoh
        Originally Posted by Sandra Martinez View Post

        I like landscape better too...

        not loving the copy, it has too many filler words... I would use something like this (you transform it in real English, ok? ):



        Sandra
        Wow, I like this too! Thanks guys! and Gals
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Wow guys thanks for taking the time to review this, I appreciate it and I can't wait to get back to work on it. I hope I can come back with something stronger, thanks for the grammar tips too. I am not that great with grammar, but I do know how to make some OK graphics. I knew the lettering / writing was the weakest point and I am very happy you all have given me solid advice. Thank you very much!
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Oh yea, one more thing .

    Google places is


    FREE!!


    I didn't include that part tho :p

    getting on first page, ranking in A slot, is very time consuming and not free :p
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    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      Originally Posted by skoh View Post

      Oh yea, one more thing .

      Google places is


      FREE!!


      I didn't include that part tho :p
      I know that Google Places is free, but I think you're missing the point here. Instead of hyping up Google places so much, try to bring some benefits to the table in the form of the audit. When you're doing the audit, you can naturally bring up Google places during the course of the consultation!
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      • Profile picture of the author skoh
        Originally Posted by paulie888 View Post

        I know that Google Places is free, but I think you're missing the point here. Instead of hyping up Google places so much, try to bring some benefits to the table in the form of the audit. When you're doing the audit, you can naturally bring up Google places during the course of the consultation!
        Oh I just meant in general, since it's free you would think more small to mid-sized business would partake. Funnily enough its the opposite.

        I will be working diligently on this.

        Thanks Paulie, I follow your posts on here you offer great advice.
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  • Profile picture of the author paulie888
    No problem! I think it's probably because small business owners are incredibly busy running their businesses, and have very little time or energy to care about marketing stuff. It is our duty to go in there and make them aware that we can take care of the marketing for them!
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  • Profile picture of the author GuerrillaIM
    Personally instead of trying to sell the "free audit", as this just sounds like you are asking for an opportunity to pitch to them, I would try to sell the benefits. I.e. Getting top of google local will give your more business and more profit.

    I'd probably have text like this:

    Get top of Google and get more quality business!
    - No monthly cost
    - No cost for referred business
    - Free analysis and report to show you how you can get #1 on the Google list and start benefitting from extra business in as little as 3 days.

    Call now to arrange your free website report.

    Maybe that is too wordy, but i don't like the word "audit". When someone says that to me I think of the tax man. You can make a nice report that shows some keyword analysis and backlinks pointing at them and make it into a sales pitch to get them to pay for you to tweak content, register to google local and build some backlinks and whatever other services you want to tag on as an upsell.
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    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      Originally Posted by GuerrillaIM View Post

      Personally instead of trying to sell the "free audit", as this just sounds like you are asking for an opportunity to pitch to them, I would try to sell the benefits. I.e. Getting top of google local will give your more business and more profit.

      I'd probably have text like this:

      Get top of Google and get more quality business!
      - No monthly cost
      - No cost for referred business
      - Free analysis and report to show you how you can get #1 on the Google list and start benefitting from extra business in as little as 3 days.

      Call now to arrange your free website report.

      Maybe that is too wordy, but i don't like the word "audit". When someone says that to me I think of the tax man. You can make a nice report that shows some keyword analysis and backlinks pointing at them and make it into a sales pitch to get them to pay for you to tweak content, register to google local and build some backlinks and whatever other services you want to tag on as an upsell.
      I like the word audit precisely because of the reasons you listed, because this will make them sit up and take notice - their website is being evaluated and scrutinized for free, and this will make them curious about wanting to find out exactly how it stacks up in the eyes of a web professional (you). Of course you'd want your audit to be unbiased and fair, you do not want to point out things that aren't true or don't exist just to sell them on some service that you offer.
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      • Profile picture of the author GuerrillaIM
        Originally Posted by paulie888 View Post

        I like the word audit precisely because of the reasons you listed, because that will make them sit up and take notice - their website is being evaluated and scrutinized, and this will make them curious about wanting to find out exactly how it stacks up in the eyes of a web professional (you).
        Do they want to be scrutinized, or do they want more money? Personally I always try to sell the benefit not the procees unless the benefit is strongly implied. In many cases I get new clients on without even telling them what I am going to do, just how it will benefit them.

        I'm not saying "audit" is bad, just I don't like it. I am a business owner. Do I get excited about someone coming in and poking their nose about? Not really. Do I get excited about getting lots of quality business on the cheap? Well derr...
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  • Profile picture of the author Chad Heffelfinger
    First, the landscape is a lot better. As far as the copy, instead of saying "this could be you" or telling them they can get business from it, Ask them if they are.

    Say somehting like: "Are you in the A spot when you search for your business on Google?" If not, you should be! Flip over to find out how to be there?

    This way the business owner is curious to see where they are ranked if they don't already know. Then when they check it will reinforce with them that thay need to be there and be more likely to call you up. They have already taken some action to find out, then thay may be more motivated to want to do something about it then just reading that they can be there on some postcard.

    Just my 2 cents
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Well I don't like the audit idea either GIM, but I need to set the bait, I need to get that initial action from the prospect. I figure if I give them something I am more likely to upsell them with my SEO services. That's where I fall short with my postcard / offer.
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  • Profile picture of the author paulie888
    How about this - offer to do a free Google Places listing (not optimized, of course!) for the businesses that aren't even listed!
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by paulie888 View Post

      How about this - offer to do a free Google Places listing (not optimized, of course!) for the businesses that aren't even listed!

      this is a golden nugget, right in front of my face.
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  • Profile picture of the author GuerrillaIM
    Yeah, I know exactly where you are coming from. I have been in the sector for almost 10 years. It's all about setting the bait and getting the upsell smooth and silky. I have taken on numerous clients who did several thousand pounds worth of business from an advert that basically said "Full website £49 - Free domain name, hosting etc.. (worth £xxx)". It cost me £150 in PPC to sell each £49 website, but I upsold 1 in 3.

    If someone is thinking to themself "I need to get on google, what do I need to do?" and they see your postcard offering an audit, they will be all over it like a rash. But it's a bit limiting if you are sending it out cold.

    There are lots of angles you could try. You could offer google local registration free and make the upsell to a monthly seo package to get their listing to the top as well as working on some local keywords. This means you could put out a semi official looking postcard with something like:

    Free Google Local Registration

    Appear in the google search enginge whenever someone searches for "keyword" and many other related keywords. Simply call this number to get registered for free.

    If you can get your printer to put the company sector and area into the postcard as the "keyword" for each one you have got a killer mailing!

    In fact, I like this idea so much I am going to do it myself lol!

    If your a good salesman then you just need to get the right person on the phone then you can sell them what you want. Just get a list of good opening questions to use on enquiries coming in.

    ** Edit **

    In the sample text I was very hasty. You would still need to find a way of spelling out exactly why they want to be in google local.
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas
    Aren't you assuming people will know what the map and markers are about? If they aren't web-savvy (as the majority of people aren't), they may well be thinking "Why is this guy sending me a map?". Even if they are somewhat familiar with web usage, they still might not relate a map to a listing in Google.

    I know you might not have room for it, but a 'mini-screenshot' showing a search-term typed into Google, with the results underneath featuring a map, might communicate the message in a much clearer way. If your graphics skills were up to it, you could erase the first business listed, add their details, and ask them if they'd like to see that for real (by using your services).

    Tommy.
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    • Profile picture of the author Thomas
      Originally Posted by Thomas View Post

      I know you might not have room for it, but a 'mini-screenshot' showing a search-term typed into Google, with the results underneath featuring a map, might communicate the message in a much clearer way. If your graphics skills were up to it, you could erase the first business listed, add their details, and ask them if they'd like to see that for real (by using your services).
      Something like this (but done MUCH better!), perhaps...



      Even people who have very little web-experience will recognise the Google logo and search box. (I edited out the PPC listings to make it fit...but no point showing them the competition anyway )

      A post-post thought: Tell them how many times whatever search term you used is searched for every month...and ask them what would it be worth getting even X% of those people to their site or to call them or whatever. (Although, again, space is probably a factor.)
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Thanks Thomas, you gave me some valuable insight. I will have to just hope that when they see google and local search they will catch on to the bubbles and the maps. I wish I had more space, I think a post card will be the most effective way next to just showing up with a brochure of some sorts.
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  • Profile picture of the author zigstonk
    Hope this postcard works for you - lots of great feedback above.

    Why not find their email from the website, make a video of you researching their "local keyword phrase," and showing the results. Send them an initial email, with the link to the video.

    In the video, show/tell the prospect exactly how you'll help them "get their phone ringing," vs. a "website audit." It's very likely that S/He's already been contacted by other SEO/website gurus with the same pitch of your postcard.

    FYI - Jing is a great screen-capture tool that's easy to use, and will force you to stay under five minutes - which the business owner will appreciate. Easy to build a link to video, etc. for your emails.

    Overall, it's an interactive demo/discussion, where you can portray credibility and enthusiasm to your potential client. Builds trust, etc. And you get to show them how you'll help them "increase sales" or "survive in this tough economy."

    Or do the video and offer/attach a free SEO report, and drive them to your website/info with the postcard. "I've already identified five ways your competitors are getting more customers than you ..." Something along that thought process. Build the relationship from there.

    Just food for thought...Best of luck!
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  • Profile picture of the author Kelvin Brown
    I don't know much about rules of TM, but since you are or may use actual bing and google logos, shouldn't those be followed by TM = trade mark?


    BTW, I am doing local, and I am taking pictures of store fronts and biz owners to place on individual postcards to be mailed with a small note relative to the individual.

    Kelvin
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    Kelvin Brown

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  • Profile picture of the author 4morereferrals
    I use an application called Send Out Cards ...

    What I was doing as an offline marketer was ... screen capping IT co's websites ... and inserting that screen grab into a custom card - sent in my handwriting with their website on the cover - with a funny caption or note ... and inside was my story.

    Twas for larger sales
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by 4morereferrals View Post

      I use an application called Send Out Cards ...

      What I was doing as an offline marketer was ... screen capping IT co's websites ... and inserting that screen grab into a custom card - sent in my handwriting with their website on the cover - with a funny caption or note ... and inside was my story.

      Twas for larger sales

      I really like this idea, but the canvas size for my post-card SUPERSIZED is only 8.5 x 5.5

      very limited and I wanted to really incorporate googles local search / map results to really paint what it is I do.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    I like the Google Maps, I think local business owners are going to identify with that instantly..

    Keep the momentum.

    I would say something like this.

    Make the "A" List

    Authority
    Access
    Attraction
    bla bla

    Each A needs to be the image of the Balloon A for the bullet points.

    Now at the bottom of the card you need to have the "Red Carpet" like its going down off the bottom of the card.

    When they flip the card the Red Carpet continues and you put the rest of your message on it with a strong call to action to call right now.

    Just my 2 cents.

    I don't do graphics so if you could try it and post it I'd like to see what it looks like.

    PS: On the other smaller balloons don't put any letters that are remotely close to A in the alphabet. Use Q, S, T, W, Z. etc. = )
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    • Profile picture of the author paulie888
      Very creative idea for the graphics, Russell! I suppose it could be outsourced fairly inexpensively, it definitely sounds like what you've laid out could make quite an impression on the business owner.


      Originally Posted by Rus Sells View Post

      I like the Google Maps, I think local business owners are going to identify with that instantly..

      Keep the momentum.

      I would say something like this.

      Make the "A" List

      Authority
      Access
      Attraction
      bla bla

      Each A needs to be the image of the Balloon A for the bullet points.

      Now at the bottom of the card you need to have the "Red Carpet" like its going down off the bottom of the card.

      When they flip the card the Red Carpet continues and you put the rest of your message on it with a strong call to action to call right now.

      Just my 2 cents.

      I don't do graphics so if you could try it and post it I'd like to see what it looks like.

      PS: On the other smaller balloons don't put any letters that are remotely close to A in the alphabet. Use Q, S, T, W, Z. etc. = )
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by 4morereferrals View Post

      I use an application called Send Out Cards ...

      What I was doing as an offline marketer was ... screen capping IT co's websites ... and inserting that screen grab into a custom card - sent in my handwriting with their website on the cover - with a funny caption or note ... and inside was my story.

      Twas for larger sales
      Originally Posted by Kelvin Brown View Post

      I don't know much about rules of TM, but since you are or may use actual bing and google logos, shouldn't those be followed by TM = trade mark?


      BTW, I am doing local, and I am taking pictures of store fronts and biz owners to place on individual postcards to be mailed with a small note relative to the individual.

      Kelvin
      Originally Posted by Rus Sells View Post

      I like the Google Maps, I think local business owners are going to identify with that instantly..

      Keep the momentum.

      I would say something like this.

      Make the "A" List

      Authority
      Access
      Attraction
      bla bla

      Each A needs to be the image of the Balloon A for the bullet points.

      Now at the bottom of the card you need to have the "Red Carpet" like its going down off the bottom of the card.

      When they flip the card the Red Carpet continues and you put the rest of your message on it with a strong call to action to call right now.

      Just my 2 cents.

      I don't do graphics so if you could try it and post it I'd like to see what it looks like.

      PS: On the other smaller balloons don't put any letters that are remotely close to A in the alphabet. Use Q, S, T, W, Z. etc. = )

      This was nice to wake up too. Wow guys, I can't hit the thank button enough for all your hard work in this thread. I feel like I should be giving something back! Maybe I will at some point!


      when the money is made of course !
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  • Profile picture of the author TK1
    What is your offer in one SHORT sentence?

    Give me the 3 biggest reasons that are good for me using your offer.

    Tell me what to do now, cause I like to give you some money :-)

    TK

    PS: Try a emotion catching SCANDALOUS headline "You are missing out on over 100 additional new customers PER MONTH!"
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    • Profile picture of the author WarForNom
      Originally Posted by TK1 View Post

      What is your offer in one SHORT sentence?

      Give me the 3 biggest reasons that are good for me using your offer.

      Tell me what to do now, cause I like to give you some money :-)

      TK

      PS: Try a emotion catching SCANDALOUS headline "You are missing out on over 100 additional new customers PER MONTH!"
      Test it. If it works, terrific.

      Personally I think I'm suffering from SCANDALOUS Headline Fatigue. The emotion elicited is ... boredom. I'd rather be spoken to in a credible way than Blasted with Breathless Bonanzas!

      Since these mailings are probably going to be pretty tightly targeted, and won't be accompanied in the mailbox by a dozen competing offers, maybe the Scream to Stand Out rule can be set aside. I could be dead wrong and would really like to know if I am. I realize the card may have to compete with some other junk mail (if you'll excuse the expresion; trying to think like a consumer here) for the recipient's attention.

      Anyway, if the card goes to a business which can really thrive on ten new accounts per month, won't that big 100 number seem pretty incredible (by which I mean: un-credible)? But if 100 is a realistic number for every business on the mailing list this complaint disappears.

      Also, regarding suggested copy: if the customers are new, they are additional, right?

      I think a good practice for inexperienced writers is to walk through the copy trying to take out each word, or phrase. If it says the same thing with fewer words it is almost always more powerful.
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Well that's a good point TK1, it is missing drama and not very captivating.

    • You will be in the 10 box position for super ultra targeted keyword search phrases.

    • You will be also on the front page for that specific niche, given that the competition isn't SEO'd too much. but even then I could just outsource the crap out of sites like fiver etc.

    • You will also get an increase of sales leads for that particular niche as the end result

    the problem is that,

    this doesn't translate to a laymen, with all due respect, who really cares about SEO crap :p
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    • Profile picture of the author TK1
      Originally Posted by skoh View Post

      Well that's a good point TK1, it is missing drama and not very captivating.

      • You will be in the 10 box position for super ultra targeted keyword search phrases.

      • You will be also on the front page for that specific niche, given that the competition isn't SEO'd too much. but even then I could just outsource the crap out of sites like fiver etc.

      • You will also get an increase of sales leads for that particular niche as the end result

      the problem is that,

      this doesn't translate to a laymen, with all due respect, who really cares about SEO crap :p
      That's all crap, sorry to tell you, I don't want to offend you, but help you!

      Try this:

      Imagine you would give this card to Richard Branson trying to get him as a customer, how would you be 100% sure he'll say "whoa buddy let's talk"

      If you can sell a billionaire you will definately sell some smaller business people ;-)

      TK
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      • Profile picture of the author skoh
        Originally Posted by TK1 View Post

        That's all crap, sorry to tell you, I don't want to offend you, but help you!

        Try this:

        Imagine you would give this card to Richard Branson trying to get him as a customer, how would you be 100% sure he'll say "whoa buddy let's talk"

        If you can sell a billionaire you will definately sell some smaller business people ;-)

        TK


        That was me explaining what it is I do.

        That's not my copy.
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  • Profile picture of the author James Foster
    As a copywriter, I'd like to see a big, bold, benefit driven headline right at the top.

    Something that stops them in their tracks and makes them think "That's exactly what I want!"

    And a call to action that makes them pick up the phone right then and there (at the bottom of the card).

    Put the rest of your message in the middle, but make sure you have those two things at the top and bottom of your piece... or else no one's going to give a %#$!
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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    I am bumping this because dammit I want to see if Skoh make a mock of of my idea!

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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Working on that Rus. I have weak copy, i'm trying to make dynamite and coming up with some serious duds!
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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    Copy is for sales letters.

    This is a flyer of sort.

    Bullet points communicating benefits and call to action is all you need.
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by Rus Sells View Post

      Copy is for sales letters.

      This is a flyer of sort.

      Bullet points communicating benefits and call to action is all you need.
      Thats what I thought.

      here is an update Rus, taking action on your advice a little here.

      thanks

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      • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
        Getting there! Remember to get rid of those letters close to A. C, E, F, G, and B need to go!

        Originally Posted by skoh View Post

        Thats what I thought.

        here is an update Rus, taking action on your advice a little here.

        thanks

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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    What are the perceived benefits of being on the A list?

    Red Carpet treatment, etc etc.

    Here's the reference.
    A-list - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    simply translate those benefits into your service and how Google is going to love them!
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    Too busy on the colors, and make the A's for the words the Balloon!

    I would get rid of the Free stuff, business owners know they gonna pay money. But what they want to know is what are they paying for and what are they doing to get out of it.

    They gonna get, Authority, Access, Attraction, Acceptance, Amore,

    A-blitorate the competition!

    Leaving those balloons blank kinda gave me the idea to put a question mark inside them instead of letters.
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    This is driving me crazy lol, I better put down the computer for a minute Lol

    Thanks for the help Rus
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    now I just need the rest, it's coming close to finished. Only 8 attempts at the initial design.

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    • Profile picture of the author mr2monster
      Originally Posted by skoh View Post

      now I just need the rest, it's coming close to finished. Only 8 attempts at the initial design.


      Gotta say, I was digging your original layout much more than this.

      The red carpet is kinda meh (no offense to the poster that recommended it).

      The clean, non-messy, version was simple on the eyes... it's starting to get too busy.


      You want to deliver a message, not innundate the people with a visual explosion.



      Ever wonder why those neon pink/green/yellow/etc postcards with black text tend to perform the best? It's because they're short, sweet, deliver the message well, and don't have any unnecessary distractions that confuse the prospect.

      JMO
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  • Profile picture of the author mr2monster
    I would say the simpler the better... even something like this would probably perform decently.

    Maybe use a better handwriting font (or actually hand write your message and scan it in)

    Would probably work better in blue handwriting (to simulate a pen).


    I dunno, just throwing out some ideas since I had a couple minutes.
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    I like the idea of simplicity, I just want the customer to know that I stand behind my work and that I would go the extra distance to make a nice looking postcard. I'm at such a loss now what to do. I am now suffering from paralysis analysis . Thanks for all the support I get from this thread guys and gals.
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    • Profile picture of the author mr2monster
      Originally Posted by skoh View Post

      I like the idea of simplicity, I just want the customer to know that I stand behind my work and that I would go the extra distance to make a nice looking postcard. I'm at such a loss now what to do. I am now suffering from paralysis analysis . Thanks for all the support I get from this thread guys and gals.


      The job of the postcard is simply to get the call... that is it.

      The job of you is to let the customer know you stand behind your work and that you have a great offer, once they call in from your post card.


      That's the key... you're just trying to generate a response, NOT sell them.


      You want to say the right thing that perks the curiosity just enough to make them call and get more info... then you can answer all of their questions on the phone once you're talking to them, rather than have them assume the answers based on your postcard design/verbiage and not call at all because they think they don't need it.
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      • Profile picture of the author skoh
        Originally Posted by mr2monster View Post

        The job of the postcard is simply to get the call... that is it.

        The job of you is to let the customer know you stand behind your work and that you have a great offer, once they call in from your post card.


        That's the key... you're just trying to generate a response, NOT sell them.


        You want to say the right thing that perks the curiosity just enough to make them call and get more info... then you can answer all of their questions on the phone once you're talking to them, rather than have them assume the answers based on your postcard design/verbiage and not call at all because they think they don't need it.

        I like this and it makes a lot of sense to me, but later I want to upsell them with actually building a website. So I think the artwork is paramount to that later on, still I get what your saying. The hook is in the message not the artwork. I would just hate abandoning all of that time I just invested in my card lol
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    I think I found my hook.


    be the LOCAL authority with my local business directory DOMINATION.
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  • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
    A picture is worth 1000 words.

    The artwork done correctly, coupled with the right verbage will illicit the response your looking for. Them picking up the phone and calling you.

    You need to have both because there are people who respond to visual elements and verbal elements.

    So its paramount that you have done both effectively.

    As an example.

    Most people fall into 1 of 3 types.

    Touchy feely
    Visual expression
    Information or specification oriented.

    My job was to find out who was what as quick as possible.

    So I had to make sure I met those needs while pitching them.

    The touchy feely person was the one who I gave the roofing samples to hold and touch.
    The visual person was the one I made sure to take outside and let them imagine how I was going to make sure their roof job happened and actually build an image of their new roof for them, while using a lot of body language.

    You need to try and address a little of each of these elements on your card so you increase your response rates.

    So your graphics need to communicate the message just as well as your copy does to.

    Personally that's why I like the A list angle because its easy to communicate that graphically and verbally. And in this day and age who does not know what the A list is or means? right?
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    • Profile picture of the author mr2monster
      Originally Posted by Rus Sells View Post

      A picture is worth 1000 words.

      The artwork done correctly, coupled with the right verbage will illicit the response your looking for. Them picking up the phone and calling you.

      You need to have both because there are people who respond to visual elements and verbal elements.

      So its paramount that you have done both effectively.

      As an example.

      Most people fall into 1 of 3 types.

      Touchy feely
      Visual expression
      Information or specification oriented.

      My job was to find out who was what as quick as possible.

      So I had to make sure I met those needs while pitching them.

      The touchy feely person was the one who I gave the roofing samples to hold and touch.
      The visual person was the one I made sure to take outside and let them imagine how I was going to make sure their roof job happened and actually build an image of their new roof for them, while using a lot of body language.

      You need to try and address a little of each of these elements on your card so you increase your response rates.

      So your graphics need to communicate the message just as well as your copy does to.

      Personally that's why I like the A list angle because its easy to communicate that graphically and verbally. And in this day and age who does not know what the A list is or means? right?


      Interesting... we had a similar "3 type" of people that our sales team was taught about, only they were:

      -Visual
      -Auditory
      and
      -Kinaesthetic


      You can tell who they are by the questions they ask.

      "Can you tell me more about your service?" = Auditory
      "Do you have a sample I could look at?" = Visual
      "Show me what you can do for me / Can you show me how it works?" = Kinaesthetic

      The visual and kinaesthetic people can be tough to differentiate sometimes, so you have to dig a little deeper and notice their body language. Kinaesthetic types will generally move around, use hand gestures, and act things out more than purely visual types. Kinaesthetic people are like combo audio/visual people. Presentations work really well with them.




      I suppose that's a little off topic for this thread, but you might want to take that little bit of knowledge with you when you go into your clients offices for a face-to-face meeting.
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      • Profile picture of the author Rus Sells
        I don't think its off topic at all.

        All these aspects "MUST" be addressed in your marketing materials so you can appeal to the widest range of people in one shot.

        Not having a clear understanding of this will only serve to minimize your results and cost you a lot of money. It did me! I usually sent around 10k in postcards in a single shot.

        I fast found out that the things I learned from pitching and selling thousands of roofs I needed to apply to my marketing materials, esp your web site.

        Originally Posted by mr2monster View Post

        Interesting... we had a similar "3 type" of people that our sales team was taught about, only they were:

        -Visual
        -Auditory
        and-Kinaesthetic


        You can tell who they are by the questions they ask.

        "Can you tell me more about your service?" = Auditory
        "Do you have a sample I could look at?" = Visual
        "Show me what you can do for me / Can you show me how it works?" = Kinaesthetic

        The visual and kinaesthetic people can be tough to differentiate sometimes, so you have to dig a little deeper and notice their body language. Kinaesthetic types will generally move around, use hand gestures, and act things out more than purely visual types. Kinaesthetic people are like combo audio/visual people. Presentations work really well with them.




        I suppose that's a little off topic for this thread, but you might want to take that little bit of knowledge with you when you go into your clients offices for a face-to-face meeting.
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      • Profile picture of the author GuerrillaIM
        Originally Posted by mr2monster View Post

        Interesting... we had a similar "3 type" of people that our sales team was taught about, only they were:

        -Visual
        -Auditory
        and
        -Kinaesthetic


        You can tell who they are by the questions they ask.

        "Can you tell me more about your service?" = Auditory
        "Do you have a sample I could look at?" = Visual
        "Show me what you can do for me / Can you show me how it works?" = Kinaesthetic
        NLP sales training completely changed my game. Identifying dominant VAC state and using test closes and paraphrasing for the close is the most powerful thing I have ever found for making a sale 1 on 1. It works so good it's almost scary!
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  • Profile picture of the author V12
    Some great ideas/suggestions here. Here's my addition:

    Fear of loss is always a more powerful motivator than pleasure of gain, so I would do some basic research into the amount of traffic/potential clients a business is missing out on and focus on that.

    E.g.

    4,500 people are searching online for 'your city dentist' every month. How many of those potential clients have you lost so far by being invisible to them?

    Abdul.
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by Opportunex View Post

      Some great ideas/suggestions here. Here's my addition:

      Fear of loss is always a more powerful motivator than pleasure of gain, so I would do some basic research into the amount of traffic/potential clients a business is missing out on and focus on that.

      E.g.

      4,500 people are searching online for 'your city dentist' every month. How many of those potential clients have you lost so far by being invisible to them?

      Abdul.
      I like this, what if I add scarcity too.

      like

      Hurry now before all your competitors find me first!
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  • Profile picture of the author GrahamHobbs
    This is an education in putting together an effective marketing piece! I'm learning as much here as I would from a live seminar on postcard marketing !
    Thanks to all...
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  • Profile picture of the author V12
    Sure, scarcity is a powerful motivator too, but the message on the postcard needs to be very brief but effective.
    You can use other motivators once they've responded and
    shown interest.
    On the postcard, keep it short but powerful.

    Abdul.
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  • Profile picture of the author brandasaur
    I suggest get a designer to have the postcard designed proffesionally. The postcard should be grabbing attention and memorable.
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by brandasaur View Post

      I suggest get a designer to have the postcard designed proffesionally. The postcard should be grabbing attention and memorable.
      I am a professional designer.

      I've been in several desktop publishing courses.

      I guess i'll just have to be more simple with my design.
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by brandasaur View Post

      The postcard should be grabbing attention and memorable.
      Can you please clarify what you mean here.

      Explain:
      grabbing attention
      memorable

      Thank you
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    another idea is burning camtasia presentation to DVD and dropping that off with the postcard
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Originally Posted by jhng000 View Post

    great design...
    Thank you, several hours went into it.
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    • Profile picture of the author TimCastleman
      Here some recommendations from a guy who has sent out about 20,000 postcards (give or take).

      1. Personalize it as much as possible. Use their name in blue ink and handwrite as much as possible.

      2. Ugly works just fine. Your card looks professional and to a business that means junk mail. I use color and black and white postcards printed locally and a lot of the times the black and white pull better. Why?

      Because they look like a human being designed, printed, and sent them - because I did.

      3. Use a real life, honest to goodness postage stamp.

      4. Send them out on Monday. That way they will land throughout the week. You rarely do well if they land on a Monday or a weekend.

      5. Give them at least two ways to respond. One a direct way, the other indirect. People don't want to be hard sold (like with a phone number to call direct) so in addition to offering that also offer a website, email, recorded message, etc. so they have two ways to respond.

      6. Google will get after you for the use of their logo.

      7. Use a red stamp like "Second Notice" or "Final Notice" with your mailings. It almost always boost response rates.

      7. Test sending them to a blind link. Meaning - instead of sending them to http://www.timothycastleman.com Timothy Castleman ? Marketing Advice For The Real World try sending them to www.snip3.com that way they can't say no without checking out the link.

      There is more but that should get you started.

      Oh and my last postcard got me a 15% response.
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      • Profile picture of the author skoh
        Originally Posted by TimCastleman View Post

        Here some recommendations from a guy who has sent out about 20,000 postcards (give or take).

        1. Personalize it as much as possible. Use their name in blue ink and handwrite as much as possible.
        I love this idea, however my handwriting is abysmal to say the least.

        Maybe I could outsource my girlfriend for this part. Lol

        TimC I appreciate your feedback here and you have been thanked.

        Also sent more thanks out to everyone else.

        This is such an invaluable thread to my efforts, I really can't say thanks enough guys.
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Thanks Tim, I will put into action a lot of your recommendations.

    I seriously appreciate the help. I'm sure there will be plenty of more help i'll need
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  • Profile picture of the author seoweb2000
    "audit" is such a bad word for a business owners. If I were a business owner in your area the last thing I want is an "audit", but I see that you took that out,so good.

    You can make the velvet ropes more transparent to bring out the google map. For your current design.

    I think your current design is too busy and confusing too understand for someone who is not an imer and who might not know about local search.

    And I agreed with Tim, use an pre-recorded message ( audio sales pitch, almost like a free report, but audio) with an toll free number if possible.

    I would make something bold like a bold guarantee.. >" Guaranteed Page 1 listing or you pay nothing!" < and have bullets -more leads, customers calling you -branding for your business -dominate your competitors

    And a call to action "Pick up the phone and call xxx-xxx-xxxx now!" ( small print "before your competitor do)

    Make sure to include a website url . the site should have a lot of testimonies of previous clients.

    The idea is to give them something that they can understand and relate to in a few sec. and they will go to your site to check you out. And be wow by your "great customer service" , "experience" and "proven results" .

    I have send out tens of thousands of cards and most of the customers that can as a direct result of the mailing, went to look at my site first. And when asked, they said that the reason they contacted me was because of the positive feedback from previous customers.


    btw, jumbo size 6 x9 post card convert better and do not cost much more. I used to send post cards with imagemedia , you should check them out for bulk pricing. And I rent my list from infousa.
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  • Profile picture of the author MWGrubb58
    Great idea for getting to folks.

    This appears to be geared to "Mass Mailing."

    Why not customize a postcard for each business as others have suggested?

    It will have more impact. As mentioned before, if you are doing this local, go around and take pictures of local businesses and put in the FRONT of the card... Use a compelling headline that offers a KNOCK-OUT benefit...

    I had a friend years ago who wanted to be booked by a certain company for a series of entertaining sales shows. He did a series of cards with funny photos of my friend doing things for the company... They bought.

    You don't have to do funny things... just make an impact.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sandycmy
    First -- This thread is really more educating and practical ! Thanks

    Somehow I feel the recommendation by thomas ( in the first page of this thread) with a good design work - can make a better appeal.

    Landscape is more like your monitor - Any-day has a better impact !
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  • Profile picture of the author Riz
    Personally i don't like the postcard.

    Too wordy and if i was a clueless business owner (like most are when it comes to IM) i would firstly not likely understand the value of it to me and also just label it as 'another Google company'

    Here is a better approach and a few ideas you may want to consider:

    1) Don't have a pic of the map as you show it.

    2) Target each postcard to a specific niche

    3) Show a pic of the screenshot as you see it on google web search

    4) In bullets tell how many searches per month for their phrase (by adding all the terms you can rank for give a total), ie show them what they are losing out on. Point out their competitors and tell them you are giving them a free audit to see if they can get in the 'A' position.

    Biggest thing is to show them the value to them and how their competitors are in front of xxx number of searches.

    Terms such as 'Google Places' on their own really means nothing to the majority of business owners.

    Only testing will give you the real results.

    Riz

    EDIT:

    Woops i never saw the revised version in post number 51. Will that really mean anything to business owners? In my opinion 'no'. As an ex restauranter i would put that postcard straight in the bin. It would not mean much to me and i would not understand the value to me.

    As a business owner i want to know about my bottom line and how it can improve. Fancy words mean nothing to me.

    Hope that helps

    Riz
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by Riz View Post


      1) Don't have a pic of the map as you show it.

      2) Target each postcard to a specific niche

      3) Show a pic of the screenshot as you see it on google web search

      4) In bullets tell how many searches per month for their phrase (by adding all the terms you can rank for give a total), ie show them what they are losing out on. Point out their competitors and tell them you are giving them a free audit to see if they can get in the 'A' position.
      I'm confused with steps 1 and 2 respectively, I would want to show them a screen shot of the google web search key word phrase results but not the actual ten box next to the google map?

      My services are to rank you ABOVE the keyword phrase and effectively give you a number one position in that google ten box for local listings.

      Otherwise sound advice and will put into thought more when I move forward with this project.
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      • Profile picture of the author Riz
        Sorry for the confusion in my post.

        What i meant was that in your current postcard you are showing a map only with the Letter A.

        Instead you should show a screenshot of what the search page looks like when someone searches.

        So if for example you search 'lawyers in new york' (if that is the niche and city you are targeting) then shown the page on your postcard so the business owner can visually see the search phrase, the map and the A to G results at the top of google.

        They will see their competitors there but not themselves.

        Hope that makes better sense.

        By just having the map there the business owner won't really understand the benefit.

        Riz



        Originally Posted by skoh View Post

        I'm confused with steps 1 and 2 respectively, I would want to show them a screen shot of the google web search key word phrase results but not the actual ten box next to the google map?

        My services are to rank you ABOVE the keyword phrase and effectively give you a number one position in that google ten box for local listings.

        Otherwise sound advice and will put into thought more when I move forward with this project.
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        • Profile picture of the author skoh
          Originally Posted by Riz View Post

          Sorry for the confusion in my post.

          What i meant was that in your current postcard you are showing a map only with the Letter A.

          Instead you should show a screenshot of what the search page looks like when someone searches.

          So if for example you search 'lawyers in new york' (if that is the niche and city you are targeting) then shown the page on your postcard so the business owner can visually see the search phrase, the map and the A to G results at the top of google.

          They will see their competitors there but not themselves.

          Hope that makes better sense.

          By just having the map there the business owner won't really understand the benefit.

          Riz

          Ok thank you for clarifying, I am going to do just that and try to personalize to my target prospect! Thank you
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  • Profile picture of the author SuiteJ
    Wow you got some great feedback here!

    I agree with most the folks who
    1. don't like the word "audit"
    2. Worry about biz owners having any clue about what the map and the "A" means

    I like the copy guy who suggests bold, basic benefits...

    If you want to use a Google screenshot, I think the search results is an ok idea if it's prints well enough at that size, but how about a headline with it more like:

    "We Couldn't Find Your Website!"
    or
    "Your Website Is Buried" (using a die cut postcard in the shape of a coffin! lol)

    Great thread, great ideas here, and good luck with your postcard...

    Hope you continue posting, showing the final postcard design, but also update us with the results you get from them, etc.

    Cheers
    Jay
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  • Profile picture of the author KBRMS
    Skoh,

    I think this postcard should get some attention, IE not thrown away thumbing through the mail. You gotta make sure it is not too confusing to the person who reads meaning he understands what he is reading.

    Rick
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  • Profile picture of the author gomarket
    I love this thread. So many good people sharing great ideas. My thanks everyone.

    Anything new skoh? Or is that what your mailing out? I would really like to know how this goes.
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    Best Regards,
    Mike

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  • Profile picture of the author kloker007
    I didn´t get it in the first eye sight, where is the headline?
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    • Profile picture of the author skoh
      Originally Posted by kloker007 View Post

      I didn´t get it in the first eye sight, where is the headline?
      working on that, i'm shifting toward a camtasia video. In that video I want to go over the clients website, analyze their competition and explain some simple SEO techniques on how to rank them higher in google places / maps per geo-specific niche.

      I think that will be more effective. I will then burn to DVD and package up with a nice envelope and stamp and follow some of the other advice as mentioned above. Try to personalize it as much as possible and will follow up with an email to the video / squeeze page.

      I just ordered a microphone from amazon, I have pretty good video editing skills and when I am done I will be more than happy to share the results.

      The problem is this isn't my day job and I'm very limited on time so it's really day to day.

      Thank you and this certainly turned out to be the best thread i've invested my personal time into and I am really thankful for all the constructive criticism.
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    SO i've been going at my landing page for some time now. I really just wanted to put something up there, i'm going back through the video again. I really need to imply some serious call to action in my video. I know it's lacking. Still updating / planning but wanted to keep this thread going!

    Here is the site: http://thelocalsyndicate.org
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    • Profile picture of the author Riz
      Hey,

      Great that your taking action on all this.

      Just a heads up on the landing page - it is not sitting right on the page. The right hand side is off page.

      Regarding the video - you have already mentioned there is no call to action

      Riz

      Originally Posted by skoh View Post

      SO i've been going at my landing page for some time now. I really just wanted to put something up there, i'm going back through the video again. I really need to imply some serious call to action in my video. I know it's lacking. Still updating / planning but wanted to keep this thread going!

      Here is the site: http://thelocalsyndicate.org
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Hmm that's strange, I am pretty new to CSS/HTML. I was editing it last night maybe you could try again. Also what browser are you using. I did use some CSS3 which isn't really fully supported by all browsers. Thanks again!
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  • Profile picture of the author skoh
    Tim! hey bud, I'm working on my email campaign still but i wanted to build a website / landing page to atleast have something. So I had to teach myself HTML/CSS all over again. Once I do that, I will then move forward Lol . It's a slow process for me but hopefully I get it right soon.
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  • Profile picture of the author gifttools
    Here's my 2 cents - using the above image, I feel you'll need to capture the biz owner's attention with something like - (Name), (Biz) is ... I feel it's visually a bit much, but you can instantly focus there attention by including the personal information. Whereby, allowing the graphics a little time to be absorbed.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jimian
    Why beat around the bush?

    Show the targeted prospects that they're NOT on the list but their peers ARE!!!





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    • Profile picture of the author jkstam3
      Originally Posted by Jimian View Post

      Why beat around the bush?

      Show the targeted prospects that they're NOT on the list but their peers ARE!!!





      Now THAT is powerful stuff. Improve the boarder and the message text and that will REALLY get a business owner's attention.
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  • Profile picture of the author sdentrepreneur
    All great points, what I have found out is that the client doesn't really care about all the "features and benefits" What they want is more clients via the Internet. I am also afraid that all your FREE, FREE is not really FREE because you are charging your client.
    I would suggest something like. "Get More Clients" "Be Found Where People Are Looking For Your Business" "Don't Be Left Behind"
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