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Which Headline Is Best?

by Bon508
12 replies
I'm working on improving landing page conversons for a biz owner/website that rents vacation apartments in Barcelona (& other cities), primarily to northern Europeans (www.RentTheSun.com).

Current headline is:

Why Our Barcelona Vacation Apartment Deals are Unbeatable!
(There are bullets beneath it that list benefits)

Others I'm considering:

Top-Quality Barcelona Vacation Apartments at Low Prices

Find a Barcelona Vacation Apartment You'll Love

Enjoy Privacy, Comfort & Savings with Our Barcelona Vacation Apartments

Would love your opinion -- which headline do you think is best?

Thanks!
#headline
  • Profile picture of the author Scott Voss
    Have you considered running a split test and seeing what has the best results?

    I don't really know enough about the customer who would be looking for a barcelona vacation apartment and what their "hot buttons" are. I am going to go out on a limb and make a guess that there aren't too many folks here that have that level of understanding either.

    One thing you could do to test them out very quickly and on the cheap would be to run 4 simultaneous AdWords campaigns with the copy in them. Run them for a couple of days and see what has the most click throughs, then you will have a winner.

    Plus, doing it this way you won't have to worry about the technical side of setting up a split-test on the site.

    -Scott
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    • Profile picture of the author Ricky Allen
      Hi there

      As always I have to be different here.

      Top Up Your Tan Today!

      Imagine Your Barcelona Vacation Apartment Just Became As Affordable As It Gets!

      Surely These Prices Are Per Day And Not Per Week? WRONG!

      You'd Never Expect A Barcelona Vacation Apartment So Affordable To Be So Good!

      Ricky Allen
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      http://www.charityshopprofit.com/
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  • Profile picture of the author DougHughes
    "Find Barcelona Luxury Vacation Apartments at Savings of Up to 75%!"

    But yeah, what Scott said. It's very easy to setup Google Analytics and Website Optimizer to test your headlines, pages, etc...

    You could get a test setup in 15 minutes, costs nothing, and provides invaluable information. You must test. I don't know how many times I've thought yeah...that's a great idea; only to test and see conversions drop.
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  • Profile picture of the author patadeperro
    Why dont you go with the timeless headlines? like:

    "Who else wants all the sun of the Mediterranean sea for less than a hamburger per day"?

    or

    If you give me 15 minutes I will show you how to enjoy Spain as just a few people know...

    See the copywriting section full of timeless headlines.
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    • Profile picture of the author Bon508
      An A/B split-test is currently underway between what I called the current headline & the original page that has "Barcelona Apartments; Best Comfort & Locations" in the website header and "Best Locations," "Lower Price Guarantee" and "Customer Satisfaction" as 3 separate headlines on the page.

      All traffic is via PPC, but frequency of visits is very low; it's taking forever to get enough visitors for a statistically valid test... but so far (fewer than 400 visits), "Why Our Barcelona Vacation Apartment Deals are Unbeatable!" is underperforming. That's why I'm considering other options. Additional split-testing will be done, but with every click costing the client money, I'd like to get input on most likely winners first. (I hope that makes sense.)


      Great alternative headline suggestions -- thanks and please keep them coming!
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      Bonnie
      ProfitBasedMarketing.com
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  • Profile picture of the author landonwiggs
    Simply state what your business is about. dont bother trying to come up with some witty headline. no one cares how witty you are! State what is in it for them in your headline. State your biggest benefit to the customer in your headline.

    "Great Deals on Luxury Barcelona Vacation Apartments"

    call out your customer. tell them exactly what you're about and what you'll do for them.

    "Affordable Barcelona Vacation Apartments"

    Everyone tries to be so witty and genius in their headline! you only have a few seconds to tell the prospect why they are on your website or what your advertisement is about. don't lose them by using one of ricky allen's genius headlines...don't make them think. tell them exactly what the deal is and what they'll get out of it.

    "Best Deals on Luxury Barcelona Vacation Apartments"
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  • Profile picture of the author landonwiggs
    the reason why i voted "Enjoy Privacy, Comfort & Savings with Our Barcelona Vacation Apartments" as the best headline is because it's simple to understand, and states all of the customers benefits right in the headline.
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  • Profile picture of the author danielkanuck
    I think i like this one the most:

    Enjoy Privacy, Comfort & Savings with Our Barcelona Vacation Apartments

    I just got back from a trip to Brazil and out there, there wasn't any privacy, comfort or savings there. I think this one appeals to a readers emotions better.
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  • Profile picture of the author Doran Peck
    Your headline "Find a Barcelona vacation apartment you'll love" is your strongest headline because it cuts to the heart of the matter of what they are looking for.

    Place your bullet points under it, one with a price savings or percentage as the first one, the point with the greatest emotional hook second. (the thing that they will love most).

    That really is your strongest headline, test it.

    Other headlines that mention benefits are good but this headline says all that too but put
    Simply and directly. The word love leaves no benefit out and includes all or any they may be dreaming of. That is why it is stronger. Test it
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  • Profile picture of the author italiandude
    I picked Enjoy Privacy, Comfort & Savings with Our Barcelona Vacation Apartments. This is the one that was most appealing to myself.
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  • Profile picture of the author chengwong
    "Enjoy Privacy, Comfort & Savings with Our Barcelona Vacation Apartments." seems the best 'cos if they are Vacation Apartments then surely one always need to enjoy their vacation with privacy and comfort which don't effect their pocket much.
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