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How does this sales flyer/brochure look? You like?

by Neodism
10 replies
I don't know if this would be considered a brochure or just a flyer. It's what I will take with me to businesses to sell my service. What do you guys think? Give me suggestions on what to add or change. Let me know if you think it's good!

#flyer or brochure #sales
  • Profile picture of the author P1
    I love using brochures and flyers to give to potential clients.

    I would suggest adding interesting facts, here's a start: Interesting Statistics About Mobile Phones Usage | iTech BB make it colorful it should help that client further understand the importance of SMS marketing.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Careful, careful...you're leading with a price headline...that reduces your service to a commodity. Also it's not what the prospect is buying. Remember, you don't get a drill to have a drill: you buy a drill because you want holes.
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    • Profile picture of the author Neodism
      Originally Posted by kaniganj View Post

      Careful, careful...you're leading with a price headline...that reduces your service to a commodity. Also it's not what the prospect is buying. Remember, you don't get a drill to have a drill: you buy a drill because you want holes.
      But... a commodity is valuable, is it not? Lol.

      So what you're saying is I have based it too much on what the service is and not enough on how it is beneficial to businesses?
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  • Profile picture of the author Neodism
    I am offering an SMS blast service. So the audience is less targeted but it still gives businesses much more exposure than most any other form of advertising. The audience subscribes to receive offers in general, not from any specific business.

    The reason I put the price headline is because my competitor here charges 6¢ per text. I know what system he uses and I know he can't afford to charge 4¢. Businesses here are used to paying 6¢ so I put that there to catch their attention.
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    • Profile picture of the author P1
      Originally Posted by Larches View Post

      I am offering an SMS blast service. So the audience is less targeted but it still gives businesses much more exposure than most any other form of advertising. The audience subscribes to receive offers in general, not from any specific business.

      The reason I put the price headline is because my competitor here charges 6¢ per text. I know what system he uses and I know he can't afford to charge 4¢. Businesses here are used to paying 6¢ so I put that there to catch their attention.
      You could that also.

      "We have the cheapest prices in town" or something.
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  • Profile picture of the author MoneyMagnetMagnate
    Personally, I like it - It's clean and has a flow...and I like the info on the right-hand column.

    kanigani has a point - but you do as well. Maybe a compromise by putting that price point underneath the phone? I see your price point reason if competition is 6 at best...

    The only other point I would bring up is the Rio reference...if you're in Tx, that may work, otherwise the humor is lost - (given the current climate) maybe a re-write of that affordable paragraph - minus the "cheapest" and the river ref.

    Maybe:
    AFFORDABLE.
    No other competitor can beat our prices - they can't even match it!
    We offer the best SMS marketing services at the lowest delivery cost anywhere!
    There are no hidden charges or fees - Just 4c per text!
    (you don't need to add the underlines - I just did that for emphasis on beat,match,best,lowest...)

    and in the anticipated paragraph make "list" plural?

    just an idea...
    3m
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  • Profile picture of the author J Bold
    I agree the leading headline I do not like at first glance, but that's just me.

    Otherwise, I think it looks professional, gives a lot of info, and possibly might be a bit wordy?

    But you can always test and see what works best for you, no need to take my advice, he he.

    In my opinion, using some sort of benefit-based headline rather than feature based, might be better, though?
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    • Profile picture of the author Neodism
      Originally Posted by MoneyMagnetMagnate View Post

      Personally, I like it - It's clean and has a flow...

      kanigani has a point - but you do as well. Maybe a compromise by putting that price point underneath the phone?

      The only other point I would bring up is the Rio reference...if you're in Tx, that may work otherwise the humor is lost - (given the current climate) maybe a re-write of that affordable paragraph - minus the "cheapest" and the river ref.

      Maybe:
      AFFORDABLE.
      No other competitor can beat our prices - they can't even match it!
      We offer the best SMS marketing services at the lowest delivery cost anywhere!
      There are no hidden charges or fees - Just 4c per text!
      (you don't need to add the underlines - I just did that for emphasis on beat,match,best,lowest...)

      and in the anticipated paragraph make "list" plural?

      just an idea...
      3m
      Thank you for your input. And yes, I'm in Texas! I will rewrite the paragraph.

      And no, list is correct. I don't sell a list/monthly service. I am building my own list and selling blasts. Businesses contact me with an offer they want to send to X,XXX amount of people, I send the promotion to my list.

      Originally Posted by redicelander View Post

      I agree the leading headline I do not like at first glance, but that's just me.

      Otherwise, I think it looks professional, gives a lot of info, and possibly might be a bit wordy?

      But you can always test and see what works best for you, no need to take my advice, he he.

      In my opinion, using some sort of benefit-based headline rather than feature based, might be better, though?
      Thank you for your input as well. What would you suggest I put up top instead of the pricing?
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  • Profile picture of the author Neodism
    Would anyone here be willing to professionally rewrite my flyer for the $7.84 I have in my Paypal account? Lol. I don't trust Fiverr people. I need it to say what it needs to say to capture a businesses attention and not be too 'wordy', which seems to be my problem in everything I design. =/
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