Email Subject line?

12 years ago

Are you able to, and know of others , if not you,
who have bought in more customers to your target audience?

Let me know if you can say yes to any of that,
then I can show you how to approach it.

If not, then I really can't help you.

Where most people mess up is they don't have a repeatable system
that sorts through and discards bad prospects.

You want to be able to identify those that are
most likely to buy.

Then you speak to them.

Best,
Ewen

Thanks

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grey38

12 years ago

I'm not sure of the question you're asking me. Here's what I did. Finding people over the internet has proven troublesome so I figured I can get prospects that can relate to me. So I went and took a picture of every business card that was displayed at our local grocery store. About half of them had emails on them. It is 55 emails. I've decided to check their facebooks, see how they're doing and send each of them a personalized email.

I"m not sure if that answers your question. I do know of someone who just builds websites and helps them with videos and such. He does seminars at hotels and such, which he pays for. That may have answered your question?

Thanks
1 reply

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ewenmack

12 years ago

Originally Posted by grey38

I'm not sure of the question you're asking me. Here's what I did. Finding people over the internet has proven troublesome so I figured I can get prospects that can relate to me. So I went and took a picture of every business card that was displayed at our local grocery store. About half of them had emails on them. It is 55 emails. I've decided to check their facebooks, see how they're doing and send each of them a personalized email.

I"m not sure if that answers your question. I do know of someone who just builds websites and helps them with videos and such. He does seminars at hotels and such, which he pays for. That may have answered your question?

You haven't told me whether what you do for business owners
gets them more customers or other profit making outcomes.

Do you do any of these things?

Best,
Ewen

Thanks

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grey38

12 years ago

Oh, well i'm offering them help with their facebook pages. A sort of blueprint and then ask them what they want to do. Having a website that serves it's purpose on the web. Almost all traffic will be derived from Facebook. But my main concern is making peoples facebook pages successful. Showing them how to advertise correctly, creating contests, ways to engage and hopefully find clients. I suppose I cannot guarantee clients, but I can guarantee likes.

Thanks
1 reply

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ewenmack

12 years ago

Originally Posted by grey38

Oh, well i'm offering them help with their facebook pages. A sort of blueprint and then ask them what they want to do. Having a website that serves it's purpose on the web. Almost all traffic will be derived from Facebook. But my main concern is making peoples facebook pages successful. Showing them how to advertise correctly, creating contests, ways to engage and hopefully find clients. I suppose I cannot guarantee clients, but I can guarantee likes.

So how can you look the business owner squarely in the eye,
and with clear conscience, that you'll make him money?

There's your problem.

Your self belief, or lack of it will show when talking to these business owners.

Sounds like you haven't got results for clients yet.

That's OK when starting out.

What you do is borrow results.

By that I mean you go find results of what others have done.
They need to be quantifiable and in their industry.

You don't need to guarantee results, just point out what others
have achieved and you recommend it for their business.

Once you've tracked down those proven results,
then it's time to be contacting prospects.

People selling training on selling services to offline business owners
have been doing a dis-service because there is no verifiable bottom line results
that have been achieved for those business owners. Arming the trainees with hard numbers verifying achievements gives them immense power and self belief when talking with business owners.

Best,
Ewen

P.S. There is a training company, in 36 countries with over 1,000 offices,
gets their clients 10 times more profit over what clients spend with them.
See what I mean by monetary results?

Thanks

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grey38

12 years ago

Okay, just a few questions.

What do you think I should put into my subject lines on the emails?

I understand how targeting advertisements works on Facebook pretty well, but how can I find clients for a brick-and-mortar company. Plenty of pictures is one thing. I know getting them on Facebook with the likes is the first step. Collecting emails for a brick and mortar should be done but how can that benefit a company like "Home Improvement"?

Bringing their presence will be amazing for them, but just starting out I'm not sure I can supply actual results, besides facebook likes, and emails or phone numbers for sms marketing. Any tips?

Thanks
1 reply

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ewenmack

12 years ago

Originally Posted by grey38

Okay, just a few questions.

What do you think I should put into my subject lines on the emails?

I understand how targeting advertisements works on Facebook pretty well, but how can I find clients for a brick-and-mortar company. Plenty of pictures is one thing. I know getting them on Facebook with the likes is the first step. Collecting emails for a brick and mortar should be done but how can that benefit a company like "Home Improvement"?

Bringing their presence will be amazing for them, but just starting out I'm not sure I can supply actual results, besides facebook likes, and emails or phone numbers for sms marketing. Any tips?

From your comments, you still don't know your subject well enough to be talking to business owners.

You need to go research case studies on what companies have achieved and how they did it...

BEFORE you send an email.

Just sending emails and not being able to close sales is a waste of time and effort.

Closing sales will come from looking the hot prospect in the eye and he can see you aren't full of B.S.

Geez, I wonder how much brain cleansing I have to do to fix the crap dream sellers
are infecting newbies!

Best,
Ewen

Thanks

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Shaolinsteve

12 years ago

I think you need to engage them quickly with attractive headlines. Facebook doesnt necessarily fall into the money maker when talking to offline or smaller businesses. So you need to really turn your sales tactics into a money driven benefit for it to work.

I don't know 100% on this but they could be something like...

"Facebook = A Better Business For You"

"790 Million People May Need Your Business" (This was an estimate of Feburarys Facebook members).

"Facebook - More Than Just A Like"

"Enquiry About Improving Your Business"

"Many Successful Businesses Use Facebook, Are You?"

Thanks

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StevieJK

12 years ago

How about:

FAO: Dave Jones

Obviously replacing 'Dave Jones' with the persons name. I expect that gets a pretty high opening rate.

Thanks
1 reply

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David Miller

12 years ago

Are you building an entire business model around 55 prospects?

What you've described in order to research them for a perceived need is great. That's a great deal of information and used properly should get you a decent percentage of closes. However, it's going to be time wasted if all you do is email and hope they will call you. The odds are against it.

So the very least you need to do is let them know in your email that if they don't call you, you'll call them! Make sure you have some bullet points at the very least to go over with them. A script would be better, but you need to follow a guideline.

Lastly, don't send that email until you've got your followup plan in place. You have to get them on the phone while the email still is at least fresh in their mind.

If you're using outlook to send, make sure you set it so you know if the email was read.

Thanks
2 replies

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The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything.

-- FRANK SINATRA, quoted in The Way You Wear Your Hat

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grey38

12 years ago

Originally Posted by David Miller

Are you building an entire business model around 55 prospects?

What you've described in order to research them for a perceived need is great. That's a great deal of information and used properly should get you a decent percentage of closes. However, it's going to be time wasted if all you do is email and hope they will call you. The odds are against it.

So the very least you need to do is let them know in your email that if they don't call you, you'll call them! Make sure you have some bullet points at the very least to go over with them. A script would be better, but you need to follow a guideline.

Lastly, don't send that email until you've got your followup plan in place. You have to get them on the phone while the email still is at least fresh in their mind.

If you're using outlook to send, make sure you set it so you know if the email was read.

Thank you this was great advice. Would you care to look over what I have now as I think this is a pretty good/honest template. Also how should I add that I will be calling him up, without sounding bad or over forceful?

"""""""""""""""Mr. _____,

My name is Shane D. I have put some time into this email, please read it and at least offer me feedback if nothing else, kindly thanks.

I am close to getting my degree in Internet Marketing at Full Sail University and would love to get my foot in the door by building a solid reputation for myself. Your flier was hanging at McKays and I thought It would be a great opportunity to work with you and help you out as well as build a reputation for myself.

Facebook would be my main way of helping you find new clients. It may not sound imperative to use Facebook, but there are about 5,000 people you can target in Maryland alone using Facebook in your niche. I know you only have 8 likes and haven't posted since May last year. These are numbers I'd gladly show you in person. Being on you're in the Home Improvement business, 1 client can make a difference month to month. Every client is not a big job, I understand this, but a few clients a month can be expected using the methods I plan on implementing. When they start posting good reviews on your Facebook, you can expect nothing but progress.

I have not totally figured out my pricing, but I can tell you it is pretty cheap given what other distinguished marketers are charging their clients. My service will only be 150 dollars, that is half price of my current prices. If you'd like to discuss this more please shoot me back an email with a time to call you, or give me a call any time within reasonable hours.

Kindly thanks,

Shane D.""""""""""""""""

Thanks
1 reply

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David Miller

12 years ago

Originally Posted by grey38

Thank you this was great advice. Would you care to look over what I have now as I think this is a pretty good/honest template. Also how should I add that I will be calling him up, without sounding bad or over forceful?

"""""""""""""""Mr. _____,

My name is Shane D. I have put some time into this email, please read it and at least offer me feedback if nothing else, kindly thanks.

You're asking someone that you don't know and doesn't know you to do something for you. That's going to turn some people off. Simply introduce yourself and let them know right away the reason you're emailing them. You are offering your expertise, you shouldn't need their feedback.

I am close to getting my degree in Internet Marketing at Full Sail University and would love to get my foot in the door by building a solid reputation for myself.

Instead of telling them what you haven't finished, tell them what you have done. You're just starting up and would love the opportunity to help them and help yourself at the same time.

Your flier was hanging at McKays and I thought It would be a great opportunity to work with you and help you out as well as build a reputation for myself.

Letting them know how you found them....good idea.

Facebook would be my main way of helping you find new clients. It may not sound imperative to use Facebook, but there are about 5,000 people you can target in Maryland alone using Facebook in your niche. I know you only have 8 likes and haven't posted since May last year. These are numbers I'd gladly show you in person. Being on you're in the Home Improvement business, 1 client can make a difference month to month. Every client is not a big job, I understand this, but a few clients a month can be expected using the methods I plan on implementing. When they start posting good reviews on your Facebook, you can expect nothing but progress.

This is extremely unfocused. It's also way too much information. The research you've done is part of the reason you want to meet with them. If you tell them everything they think they need to know, they have no reason to meet you.

I have not totally figured out my pricing, but I can tell you it is pretty cheap given what other distinguished marketers are charging their clients.

Your a marketing consultant and haven't figured out your pricing? They are either going to laugh or start thinking of how to take advantage. Again, you're telling them way too much.

My service will only be 150 dollars, that is half price of my current prices.

You haven't figured out your price, but here's your price!

If you'd like to discuss this more please shoot me back an email with a time to call you, or give me a call any time within reasonable hours.

That's a good way to end.

Kindly thanks,

Shane D.""""""""""""""""

Shane....

That email is as it stands is not going to get you the result you're looking for. In fact, it may do just the opposite.

Your goal is either to get them to call you, or get them to welcome your call. To do that, you're email has to give them enough information about you and your services so that they want to know more.

They need to see from the start that you have what it takes to help them. That email just won't cut it. I don't mean to hurt your feelings....that's just my honest opinion.

Thanks

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The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything.

-- FRANK SINATRA, quoted in The Way You Wear Your Hat

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Jerry McGough

12 years ago

If you want to use email as a Step One, then to answer your question, I'd try personalizing the subject line by including the business name.

Also, I'd use the name towards the beginning in case part of it gets cut off.

Thanks
1 reply

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grey38

12 years ago

Originally Posted by Jerry McGough

If you want to use email as a Step One, then to answer your question, I'd try personalizing the subject line by including the business name.

Also, I'd use the name towards the beginning in case part of it gets cut off.

Well I dont want him to be like "eh, just another marketer, delete". I want to sort of explain myself first, and then try to work it in there what i'm doing.

Thanks

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grey38

12 years ago

What if in the beginning instead of asking him to give me feedback, I tell him how personalized it is? I don't want him to just be like "spam, delete".

Thanks
1 reply

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David Miller 12 years ago

Originally Posted by grey38

What if in the beginning instead of asking him to give me feedback, I tell him how personalized it is? I don't want him to just be like "spam, delete".

Getting them to open the email is a matter of your subject line. Some people simply delete emails from people they don't know just as routine. It's a fairly stupid thing for business owners to do because they may and often do delete emails from potential customers.

There's a ton of opinion about what is a good subject line. I usually just use the business name as the subject....not foolproof but there is no magic bullet.

Your first sentence just needs to let him know why he should read further. Just tell him simply who you are and what you do.
- Thanks
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The big lesson in life, baby, is never be scared of anyone or anything.

-- FRANK SINATRA, quoted in The Way You Wear Your Hat
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kaja292

12 years ago

u can write a subject or main line

Thanks

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dropbear

12 years ago

These words words should not be used in the subject Line. It may cause your email to be marked as spam. You should also never use punctuation (especially $$ and !!), all caps, numerals or gaps between letters.
act now, amazing, apply now, avoid, call now, dear friend, discount, don’t delete, double, for you, free, hello, information you requested, instant, limited time, notspam, now only, offer, open, opportunity, promised you, stop or stops, teen, undisclosed recipient, winner, mortgage

Thanks

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Email Subject line?

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