If you have 70 seconds....

I think your point about what their site looks like gets across ok but your voice doesn't display confidence and the last screen is so busy I'm not sure what I'm suppose to do next. You said no one is watching. Are you sending these blind or are you starting a conversation first?

Thanks for that... I guess I should make the last slide just say click the link in the description.

I am sending them to car dealers that don't have a mobile optimized site. I can't start a conversation if they don't open or respond to my emails so I have tried several different subject lines which is the title of the video because I am using video prospector.

As far as my voice I was just being me and I don't want to sound like a used car salesman lol.

I'll try doing a different recording to sound a little better but it won't help if no one watches them so I need a better subject line I guess.

Thank you for taking the time to watch and respond
Kim

Oh and if anyone has ideas for subject lines to car dealers that might get more attention.... that would be much appreciated as well

Your intro slide transitions way to fast so I don't have time to read the whole thing. I didn't finish the video after that honestly. Sorry kinda brutal but that's what happened. = /

I watched the whole video and thought it was decent but could be improved. I think the first slide could be improved as you have too little time to read it and it is very "busy". I think that it could be made to look more clean and fresh if you had less text and increased the time and the same goes with the last scene.

The scribbled "Logo goes here" did look quite unprofessional though as the poster above said.

However, I think that the video was decent and liked the way you showed them their current site on a mobile. It would help if you improved the first and last slides and also if you had had previous contact with them so they are more likely to watch.

Maybe it's just the headset I am currently using but at times your voice comes through very, very loudly. As for the video itself I think that you might have gotten wrapped up in the "I hate long videos" mentality a little too much and the slides go by very quickly.

Also I think you could use something like iphonetester.com to record the mockup of the mobile site in real time. Saying "there's a map at the bottom. You can't see it but it's there" wouldn't compare to actually showing the map and how easy it is to scroll up and down to find everything necessary.

You sound a little bored and that you are just running the motions without trying to inspire the prospect to get in touch with you. Maybe it's because you've made 250 of them and are a little "zoned out".

The title and ending slide is also very, very busy and it takes away some professionalism, in my opinion. I think cleaning those up will help with conversions.

As far as the amount of views go, are you sending the links out in an email? If so how many are opening your email?
Out of those opens how many are actually clicking on the link?

If no one is opening, work on your email title. If no one is clicking, work on your email copy.

I would start doing a split test with different headlines to find one with the highest open rate. After that start split testing your email copy to see which has the highest CTR to your video.

Once you have a strong headline and a good CTR from your email start testing your videos. Test between length (1 min vs 2:30, etc), different visuals, adding a different CTA, etc.

Keep testing and tweaking every aspect of your setup and eventually you'll see more and more conversions

Congrats, by the way, on sticking to it! A lot of people will give up after 5-10 videos and no returns!

I would suggest writing your script out and printing it out right in front of you. Then, practice it giving emphasis where emphasis should be given. Then, later add to the script approximate times during which portion of your script should be added to the video. I'm sure you know how to use video editing tools to do this, but I think practicing your script instead of trying to record this live might help you.

Thanks everyone for taking the time to comment and watch (if you did). I am going to redo the whole thing and try to figure out how to do the recording a little better.

Kim

I agree with a lot of the comments above. Too rushed, no focus and its a bit all jumbled. I do love your approach though, I've been doing what you are on the video on postcards with Before & After pics.

If you're using camtasia, then use their noise removal tool for the audio. I always listen to audio through headphones and the sound quality gave me tinnitus!

Did you say you have already recorded 250 videos?!!

Hi Abul, thanks for your comments. I am using video prospector pro so I can do 20 plus videos per day or more. I would do more but my pc is slow so it takes a while to do the videos.

I have redone the audio and will try using that and I made the first and last screen shots more plain and have the first one about 9 seconds long so it can be read more easily.

Now to get someone to watch and take action lol

Thanks everyone for your feedback.
Kim

link to new one if anyone wants to give any feedback on it. I understand we are all busy so if you don't have the time, no problem. http://youtu.be/PiNpA-BAJZg

How about doing this instead of sending videos to people.

CALL THEM.

Say this -

"Hey, my name is (whatever) and I own (company). We do (whatever) and we just started servicing (area). Have you ever seen your website on a mobile device?"

If YES - "Then I bet you're pretty happy that I called. Since you've seen it you know that your customers can't (list what they can't do). You also probably know that X amount of people search for (type of business) on a mobile device before going shopping. Since yours isn't up to par, I'm sure you'd agree that your probably losing some business." (QUIET...let him talk)

If No "Well I have and it's really not that functional. Why not check it out on your phone now and take a look. You also probably know that X amount of people search for (type of business) on a mobile device before going shopping. Since yours isn't up to par, I'm sure you'd agree that your probably losing some business." (QUIET...let him talk)

That's how I'd open them up.

Then I'd either set an appointment (not really needed in this case) or one call close them (the way to go in this case).

I'd simply juxtapose the price and ask them for money. I'd rebut 3 or 4 times then I'd fall back on this if they still say no...

You - "OK, I understand you being a little apprehensive. I mean, lets be honest, I do this everyday so it's pretty cut and dry for me. For someone who doesn't work in this industry every day it could be hard to understand."

Then book an appointment and pitch them in person.


Another quick tip - Car sales managers LOVE hard closing salespeople. That's who they train, who they hire, and who pays their bills! If you keep them on the phone and keep pressing, they'll respect you.

Good luck.

I'd change all of the hand written text in the video, it doesn't look pro, I would never buy from a designer who has chicken scratch all over a sales video.

Just make some simple images that say your logo and highlight the keyword tool areas etc.

I looked at the new video and it's a lot better.

I have a slight issue with the first slide, most business owners would read that and think what the heck... I mean can you assume that they know what's the difference between mobile search and desktop search, especially when such a statement is at the beginning of the video and they don't even know the context of the video yet.

I'd turn the first slide into an eye catching headline, which peaks the viewers interest... something like

"2,638 Car Buyers Searched For A Car Dealer On Their Smart Phones Last Month, BUT YOUMay Be Losing Out....Here's why..."

Just my two cents.

Abul

Hi Kimberly,

Oh wow – where do I begin?

We are often so certain we know what we are doing as online salespeople that we overlook or underestimate the simple, key elements of our marketing.

First, you do not know the video is/was THE problem. You are sort of making an assumption the video is the problem, aren’t you?

Your immediate issue is the open rate and is the real question. Are you measuring this? How?

I know this is a problem because many email marketers are having the same difficulties. It’s not the offer, design or quality of the content. It is getting recipients to open the piece, which is the same issue in direct mail marketing – getting the envelope opened. This is 90% or more of the battle. Get this part right and you are going to win more often than not.

You cannot make a pitch until the email is opened. I don’t know what your email looks like or what kinds of headlines or approaches you are using. Even the day and time you send it are factors. If you are questioning the open rate, that is clearly problem number one.

I’ve been at this copy writing thing for forty years. (No I am not THAT old - I put myself through college writing copy.) I write sales copy, content, email, direct mail pieces, adverts and long-form sales letters for offline giants you would immediately recognize.

They pay me lots of money to help them make lots of money as their salesperson in print. One happens to be one of the largest automobile manufacturers on the planet that begins with a “C.” (Client confidentiality agreements prevent me from naming them.)

Their in-house writers come to me with the really hard stuff – the stuff they can’t (or don’t want to) handle.

But anyway, back to your situation. When you setup an email marketing campaign for your business, you always have to do two things:

1. Make the offer simple and clear – a twelve-year-old needs to be able to easily read and understand it. (I am not kidding.)
2. Provoke an action by the reader.

This means that your email only has two objectives – to get opened and incite the reader to say no or take a simple action. This is ALL it NEEDS to do. By themselves, emails rarely sell anything effectively - they are best used as part of the presell process. This is an entirely different purpose than most marketers often use email for.

If it was my email, it would have a simple, effective subject line and maybe 3-4 sentences – TOPS!

Allow me to tell you the single biggest problem I see daily with email marketing:

There are incredibly few people that really know how to do it right. Even some of the Internet gurus within this very forum that are self-proclaimed or have been anointed as marketing gods rarely do email marketing right. As a copywriter and marketer, I make it a point to read, assess and know who has top shelf marketing skills and – who doesn’t.

The two biggest points of failure are: length and objective.

Every really good email is always brief and gives the reader one – and ONLY ONE thing to do. This is Marketing 101 but you only give a prospect one of two simple actions to take: say no or click a link. Instead of clicking a link, you can make the call to action making a phone call. (The best marketers DO NOT use a link AND a phone number - it is either/or.) When selling to brick-and-mortar merchants, phone numbers work best.

Remember: one action - one thought - one process - a constant, simple flow. Don't allow the reader to make a choice. If you are allowing them to make a decision, the result will often be procrastination. This means - you lose.

The moment you give the readers choices or options, the email fails. It amazes me how many people don’t get this or choose to ignore it.

I am not going to bash the advisers in this thread, but some of the methods you’ve been told will fly as far as a lead canary.

Long headlines are the antithesis of what you want to use in your marketing. You are selling a simple solution that has great benefits for any business. You know this already – so why on earth would you want to use a long headline in YOUR offer when you are selling a mobile-friendly solution?

Long headlines DO NOT work for mobile solutions. There isn’t enough screen real estate for that nonsense. Period.

So that advice doesn’t make a lot of sense, does it?

As for cold calling – I am not going to go there – much. If you are good on the phone and can take lots of hang-ups, being cursed, and negative reactions, it IS the fastest way to get results – It DOES work. Here's the problem with cold calling: in my world – the real world of offline and online sales and marketing - it is a very low percentage and even lower yield pursuit. (I don't know why the poster didn't call cold calling what it is.)

People that cold call for living have a high burnout rate and require constant change or they lose their edge. I admire what they do and the mental toughness it takes to do the job, but there are lots of better, easier ways to get business.

I get huge results with copy and applying effective marketing strategies. My clients only consider cold calling as a mechanism to get “accidental” or “incidental” business - "overflow" sales.

After doctors and attorneys, the people that push the “buy” buttons at car dealers are every bit as hard to reach. They get lots and lots of calls and emails from people wanting to sell them the newest gee-whiz-bang toys to get them more business each and every day. They insulate themselves well from salespeople calling with seriously good gatekeepers. (Yes, they do know all about salespeople.)

There are ways to get these types of people to do business with you that is akin to shooting fish in a barrel, but we’re not at a point in your marketing plan to talk about that here.

Right now – get a short, killer email together. I cannot do it for you but consider using the methods you already use to find prospects as a guide.

Let’s say you are targeting Dodge dealers. Run a search to get local results for how many searches are being made for Dodge Ram pickups in the area – be specific. When you have the results, do something with the headline like this:

492 Buyers Looking For Ram Pickups in Hoboken Won’t Be Visiting You …

Even I would open this email - this is applying the time-proven "fear-of-loss" pain methodology. Car pros spend their days, go to bed, and awaken every morning thinking about how to make more sales. They are relentless and that is one of the things that makes them good at their jobs.

I am shooting from the hip with this and this took me all of 7-seconds to conjure-up this headline, but there is only one 100% irrefutable law of email marketing:

Headlines get your emails read – it doesn’t matter what’s inside if it doesn’t get opened. If you were giving away bars of gold, it would not matter if your email wasn’t get clicked on and read.

I will only say this about your videos – both of them – they are painful to watch and listen to. And I am not saying that because they are homemade. In fact, homemade videos - in my testing - often work better than slick professional presentations.

I am truly sorry to be that brutal and blunt but it has to be said. This is exactly what I would tell one of my clients if they asked me. They don’t pay my fees to sugar coat things for them. Telling you all the things that are wrong with them would take a lengthier post than this one.

But as I said: The videos don’t matter if the emails aren’t getting opened. Start there and test, test and test some more.

I think that’s enough for you to ponder for now. I hope this helps. I don’t visit the WF as often as I would like because I stay insanely busy, but will keep an eye on this thread.

Jake

videos dont work

Hey Kim,


Ben here. 250!? Damnn, you're busy!


A few tips from a copywriter's perspective (and a graphic enthusiast!):


1.) The fonts at the start/end are too jokey/cartoon for my taste (although that's precisely what it might be - my personal taste). I think it might give your video's an amateur feel.

2.) You don't sound terribly confident when speaking, or relaxed. Speak as if you're speaking to your best friend. Get excited and energetic!

3.) Throw some benefits in there. How do your mobile optimised sites improve the web browser experience?


Do these things and I think you'll find your prospects are a lot more interested and more likely to take action.


Ben.

This is not appealing in the least to me. Here's (a few reasons) why:

1. Your voice is very loud and nasal sounding. I would write your script and get someone on Fiverr to record it.
2. Your intro screens are brutal. Very horrible. Not pleasant to read, not pleasant to look at.
3. Everyone knows you are a real person.
4. Stop saying "mobile device." Call it what it is. "Here's your site on an iphone. Pretty terrible huh?"
5. At approx :32 it looks like you erased their logo and did a "YOUR LOGO HERE" thing on the right side...why?
6. Do not attempt to draw words with MS Paint. It looks stupid. MS Paint has a type tool. Even better, download paint.net for free.
7. "You can't see it but it's there." Who cares? Just say it includes a map and be done with it.
8. "Here's a screen that shows the number of searches done on a mobile device every month." No. How about "Did you know people are using their phones to search for car dealerships almost half a million times...every month?" Also why didn't you narrow it down by city? Or did you? Who knows. Also again with the drawing words with the paintbrush in MS Paint.
9. Your closing screen looks dreadful.
10. The surprise twist ending: your website, mobilemarketingforcars.com is not mobile optimized? How did that happen?

I would first call the customers and see if they are interested, and if so, then create a custom video for them.