Really Don't Want To Post This - But CopyWriting + CL = LEADS!

92 replies
LEADS ARE COMING IN FROM CRAIGSLIST.

Not only did I land the biggest deal of my life today (mentioned it in another thread it was for $3600) BUT I'm very much figuring out craigslist.

A post I made last week got *5* responses by the end of the day today. 3 for web design, 1 about seo, another asking about copywriting services (I didn't even offer copywriting services, just talked about how I have experience with it!)

I almost NEVER get responses off CL.

The ONLY thing that has changed is I've been going bat**** crazy stalking copywriters all over WF.

PEOPLE, if you're going to try posting on CL, try STUDYING some solid copy first.

Keep it simple, direct, *HELPFUL* (tip: give them "aged advice" that only an expert would know) no boasting.. and CONVEY VALUE.

Those were the 5 things I focused on most.

One more thing, by "simple" I don't neccessarily mean "short". All I know is the post was a little over a page long but it was direct and authoritative.
I did NOT post to sound like another mediocre web designer. I would post it here but since this is my first working ad I really shouldn't.

I'm going to try making it better and better and save many different versions. I'm dedicated to cracking this CL nut once and for all.

Treat it like an experiment (you have variables to focus on and mix together properly), focus on the quality of your copy, you WILL eventually get responses. If you are posting just to get your info out there you probably shouldn't post in the first place.

Only reason I'm posting this thread is because I have sucked on CL for years but the second I viewed it in terms of writing solid copy, now I'm getting a decent response.

May help some people, probably won't help most.

I still tried.

-Red
#copywriting #leads #post
  • Profile picture of the author SirThomas
    Hi Red,

    Glad to see you getting jobs of craigslist. Some people have nice technique with it get serious results. Are you still doing 9x12 project?
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Just headed to bed after finishing up my pitch writing...and caught this. Red, you can tell when someone is scamming, and you obviously arent, there are tell tale signs. Im very excited to hear this and it has spwned ideas because when i really try I can write good copy.

    You gave me a ton of ideas. Never thought of viewing a "classified" ad for something like this, in this way, using long copy.

    Maybe because I relate classified ads mentally to having to pay 4 bucks per word.

    You make alot of sense. I want to try it for a few things. Only I wish you had only told me. lol

    As you stated in your OP seasoned people "recognize". And I can recognize what you have stumbled onto here.

    Thanks.
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  • Profile picture of the author s62731
    Absolutely awesome man!!

    One thing most of us can sometimes skip over is the value of well written copy!

    And there is no better feeling than when people contact you about your services. Of course cold calling works, and if you put in the time and energy you will get the sales, but when you know how to sell in word's opens up new doors!

    I've personally been doing well with paid traffic and squeeze pages, and then offering free consultations. My copy-writing skills finally came to fruition.

    Can't wait to try Classified ads now!

    This is like a fresh of breath air, some real info from someone who is obviously actually doing what he preaches, not just spamming!

    Thanks,

    James
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  • Profile picture of the author ksimedia
    Great job Red! Thanks for the inspiration for all of us! I have never been able to crack the CL monster either, but if its working for you then you must be doing something right! Keep up the good work!
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  • Profile picture of the author Jason Kanigan
    Hi Red,

    Could you link us to the page?

    I'd also be very interested in what section you're posting on CL.

    I've used graphic clickthru ads in the Small Biz section and got clickthrus.
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    • Profile picture of the author Prince Vegeta
      Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan View Post

      Hi Red,

      Could you link us to the page?

      I'd also be very interested in what section you're posting on CL.

      I've used graphic clickthru ads in the Small Biz section and got clickthrus.
      This, I'm also very interested in which sections you are posting your ads.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lulu Chil
    One time I tried CL and the results weren't good. But, am glad it is working great for you.
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  • Profile picture of the author iAmNameLess
    I've been preaching about CL forever, and no one believes me. I'd rather people fail at it lol. Good job though
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  • Profile picture of the author Fawxkitteh
    yeah leads generate from craiglist. but i dont know how to make use of it. can anyone explain?
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    Ok the ads were not posted in the web design section. Don't ask me why just for this test I used 2 other sections of CL.

    I posted 2 different versions of the same ad in 2 different sections (I also apologize because I honestly didn't realize I posted 4 ads).

    They were "lessons and tutoring"

    then "small biz ads"

    One ad I put a lot more time into than the other. It was over a page, the other one was about half a page long. The important thing to take note of here is the smaller ad was of bad quality. The longer ad was of really good quality. I made sure every single line had some type of "copy value" if that makes sense. Like I'm not doing that right now I'm just babbling about details. You definitely want some type of organized structure to the ad as this ad had strong bullet points, strong damaging admissions, it had subtle qualifier statements, but it was also VERY HONEST.

    I wrote a statement like "You do NOT have to rank on google to get lots of business. This is a shiney object I see so many business owners chasing and they waste lots of money having no idea how SEO really works".

    Then I go onto say "You MUST BE PREPARED to dump lots of money into SEO, and SHOULD also KNOW about SEO yourself. Otherwise you will never know when someones taking advantage of you".

    My entire letter was brutal honesty like this. Thats the biggest tip I can give people.

    Heres one more sentence: "You NEED to avoid working with consultants who can not immediately SHOW YOU HOW they will get your company business."

    I also told people WHY I'm different than most mediocre web designers. I made a statement about how I am dedicated to their PROFITS 250%. This is obviously stuff business owners want to hear. Nothing mysterious about it imo.

    NOTE: I also realize people can go find the copy just by searching CL. That is fine & I don't care. Just do me a favor and keep the copy out of this thread for now. I'd rather present a few different ads all at once and explain systematically why I said what I said (at a later date when more testing is done).

    Thanks - Red

    ps. the ad was posted on a thursday evening just so people know (oddest part here is I didn't get responses till after the weekend). I'm still trying to identify my own patterns (rather than listen to what others say) I'll definitely update with more details later.
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    • Profile picture of the author bryson
      Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

      Ok the ads were not posted in the web design section. Don't ask me why just for this test I used 2 other sections of CL.

      I posted 2 different versions of the same ad in 2 different sections (I also apologize because I honestly didn't realize I posted 4 ads).

      They were "lessons and tutoring"

      then "small biz ads"

      One ad I put a lot more time into than the other. It was over a page, the other one was about half a page long. The important thing to take note of here is the smaller ad was of bad quality. The longer ad was of really good quality. I made sure every single line had some type of "copy value" if that makes sense. Like I'm not doing that right now I'm just babbling about details. You definitely want some type of organized structure to the ad as this ad had strong bullet points, strong damaging admissions, it had subtle qualifier statements, but it was also VERY HONEST.

      I wrote a statement like "You do NOT have to rank on google to get lots of business. This is a shiney object I see so many business owners chasing and they waste lots of money having no idea how SEO really works".

      Then I go onto say "You MUST BE PREPARED to dump lots of money into SEO, and SHOULD also KNOW about SEO yourself. Otherwise you will never know when someones taking advantage of you".

      My entire letter was brutal honesty like this. Thats the biggest tip I can give people.

      Heres one more sentence: "You NEED to avoid working with consultants who can not immediately SHOW YOU HOW they will get your company business."

      I also told people WHY I'm different than most mediocre web designers. I made a statement about how I am dedicated to their PROFITS 250%. This is obviously stuff business owners want to hear. Nothing mysterious about it imo.

      NOTE: I also realize people can go find the copy just by searching CL. That is fine & I don't care. Just do me a favor and keep the copy out of this thread for now. I'd rather present a few different ads all at once and explain systematically why I said what I said (at a later date when more testing is done).

      Thanks - Red

      ps. the ad was posted on a thursday evening just so people know (oddest part here is I didn't get responses till after the weekend). I'm still trying to identify my own patterns (rather than listen to what others say) I'll definitely update with more details later.
      I use CL and would say I get 0 to 2 calls a week.

      Since you posted on Thurs and didn't get calls until after the weekend I suspect your ad was indexed and you were getting response from organic search results.

      I also suspect a natural google listing as 9x out of 10 direct CL reponders i find want to pay next to nothing for a specialized service.
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  • Profile picture of the author maxrezn
    Ok I'm dyinggggggg to see the copy.
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    • Profile picture of the author John Durham
      Originally Posted by maxrezn View Post

      Ok I'm dyinggggggg to see the copy.

      Better to "own it" like Red does, by learning the principles of writing good copy yourself. Its better to learn to fish than to be given one, Red will be able to outlive the success or failure of any given ad because he has learned the principles behind it. Many of which you are now learning here in this thread, only your level of current learning hasnt come far enough yet to recognize the value of the post alone, by itself.

      Consequently, thats also why many fall for not so legit teachers, because their learning isnt far enough along to recognize truth yet.

      He is giving you some powerful keys right here to writing your own successful ad!

      Ps. Sure I'd buy the wso if there was one BTW! I dont even have to see a bank statement. I can tell by what he is saying that its true.
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    /\ Go ahead! You can just go find it on CL, I posted more than enough info to do that.

    Also, If you have a problem finding it just pm me and I'll get you the link. Do me a favor though and keep the ad out of this thread.

    Eventually I'll be releasing my first few responsive ads to WF but there needs to be more testing before I hand this stuff out to other people.

    Thanks - Red
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    • Profile picture of the author sandalwood
      Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

      / Go ahead! You can just go find it on CL, I posted more than enough info to do that.

      Also, If you have a problem finding it just pm me and I'll get you the link. Do me a favor though and keep the ad out of this thread.

      Eventually I'll be releasing my first few responsive ads to WF but there needs to be more testing before I hand this stuff out to other people.

      Thanks - Red
      Red,

      Good show man. You did what it takes to make something work for you. Not many people would have persisted the way you did. They would have given up and said it doesn't work.

      Much success,

      Tom
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    • Profile picture of the author Prince Vegeta
      Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

      / Go ahead! You can just go find it on CL, I posted more than enough info to do that.

      Also, If you have a problem finding it just pm me and I'll get you the link. Do me a favor though and keep the ad out of this thread.

      Eventually I'll be releasing my first few responsive ads to WF but there needs to be more testing before I hand this stuff out to other people.

      Thanks - Red
      Hey man, can't PM you yet, can you shoot me the link?
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  • Profile picture of the author GforceSage
    That's great, I can see the value in the statements you shared with us.

    "Not having to Rank, Being taken advantage of, and Show you how", which = proof are all buzz worthy statements which act as a call to action before you get to it.
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  • Profile picture of the author Preeti
    Awesome share Red! Once again just goes to show...pick a marketing tool, work it, test it and it DOES work!!!

    Congrats on booking your biggest deal yet! Isn't it such an awesome feeling?!?
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  • Profile picture of the author domz
    I've tried to get some leads on craiglist, but it wasn't happening for me!
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    • Profile picture of the author jideofor
      Originally Posted by domz View Post

      I've tried to get some leads on craiglist, but it wasn't happening for me!
      That's because good copy sell and you obviously weren't doing that. Learn the basics of copywriting , try words that sell. There are classic ads that sell and have sold in the past. Get your eyes on the, read alot of them and you should have an idea of what works.
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  • Profile picture of the author fleacheck
    I'm really excited for you Red. I'm just getting into my journey of how to write great copy and providing exceptional quality for the ads. I am one of those people to take sales letters and read them more than once, watch video sales letters more than a couple times, and see what triggers those marketers use. I keep a note pad with all of the common elements. One of the books that really opened my eyes to better copy is Influence by Robert Cialdini.

    I will be looking for your ads, by the few statements you've included so far, it sounds like you are hot on the heals of a highly converting copy. Good luck and I look forward to seeing the end results after testing.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jon Martin
    Thanks for the craigslist advice - I really need it. Not getting many responses myself. Keep at it dude! Happy for ya.
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    "Be the hero of your own movie."
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  • Profile picture of the author rackemup
    Great stuff Red. Thank you for sharing your knowledge and success with us. Keep up the good work!
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  • Profile picture of the author bryson
    Hey Red, found your ad. I have written a similar long copy ad but didn't get the results you are getting. I am going to give it another shot.

    I'm going to write the ad around lead generation/pay for performance.

    I will shoot you a copy if you don't mind giving me your feedback?
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  • Profile picture of the author EMaria
    Hello Red,

    I can't find your CL ad. I cannot PM yet either. Could you PM me the link?

    Ellen
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    • Profile picture of the author Prince Vegeta
      Originally Posted by EMaria View Post

      Hello Red,

      I can't find your CL ad. I cannot PM yet either. Could you PM me the link?

      Ellen
      Same here.
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  • Profile picture of the author Thomas W
    I have not gotten any leads from craiglist.. Are you posting into several different cities?
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    I have a really IMPORTANT QUESTION!!

    Is there anyone from NJ here who is looking for web design leads (FREE)?

    Or anyone who lives around NJ (maybe PA, NY) who can use some NJ leads?

    Let me explain whats going on as I'm becoming a bit flustered here.

    I have 6 jobs already and I do NOT outsource my work. I literally can not call any more of these people back. I'm already taking on more work than I can do by myself and don't have time to do anything but web design right now.

    I will have to hire a second designer, or learn how to outsource but right now I'm up to my neck in work, and I'm STILL posting more ads on CL and STILL getting more leads.

    I have 9 total I can GIVE AWAY. There is NOTHING shisty going on here people the leads are in my email, you contact me, you get the leads. I will give 2 to the first 4 people, 1 to the last person. At a later date if things keep going this way I WILL HAVE TO CHARGE.

    So please don't get use to this. If you LIKE the leads you get, do me a favor and just stay in touch. As they keep coming in we can work out some type of deal later.

    The point is I HAVE LEADS AND NEED TO GET RID OF THEM.

    SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE THEM BECAUSE I WILL CRY IF I HAVE TO TRASH THESE!!

    All leads are less than 36 hours old, most in the last 24 hours.

    I WILL GET BACK to everyone about the ads but right now someone needs to get these leads PLEASE!

    Thank you - Red

    ps. If I don't get a response in the next hour I'm making a new thread because time is ticking here.

    pss. I realize how stupid this post makes me look but you really need to understand I have no other choice. I can try selling the same leads on CL, but I don't have time, and if I wait around for buyers they will go cold. So I'm trying to set up buyers NOW for LATER so the second I get the leads in the future I can just sell them to people immediately and keep a few for myself.

    Thanks.
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    • Profile picture of the author Prince Vegeta
      Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

      I have a really IMPORTANT QUESTION!!

      Is there anyone from NJ here who is looking for web design leads (FREE)?

      Or anyone who lives around NJ (maybe PA, NY) who can use some NJ leads?

      Let me explain whats going on as I'm becoming a bit flustered here.

      I have 6 jobs already and I do NOT outsource my work. I literally can not call any more of these people back. I'm already taking on more work than I can do by myself and don't have time to do anything but web design right now.

      I will have to hire a second designer, or learn how to outsource but right now I'm up to my neck in work, and I'm STILL posting more ads on CL and STILL getting more leads.

      I have 9 total I can GIVE AWAY. There is NOTHING shisty going on here people the leads are in my email, you contact me, you get the leads. I will give 2 to the first 4 people, 1 to the last person. At a later date if things keep going this way I WILL HAVE TO CHARGE.

      So please don't get use to this. If you LIKE the leads you get, do me a favor and just stay in touch. As they keep coming in we can work out some type of deal later.

      The point is I HAVE LEADS AND NEED TO GET RID OF THEM.

      SOMEONE PLEASE TAKE THEM BECAUSE I WILL CRY IF I HAVE TO TRASH THESE!!

      All leads are less than 36 hours old, most in the last 24 hours.

      I WILL GET BACK to everyone about the ads but right now someone needs to get these leads PLEASE!

      Thank you - Red

      ps. If I don't get a response in the next hour I'm making a new thread because time is ticking here.

      pss. I realize how stupid this post makes me look but you really need to understand I have no other choice. I can try selling the same leads on CL, but I don't have time, and if I wait around for buyers they will go cold. So I'm trying to set up buyers NOW for LATER so the second I get the leads in the future I can just sell them to people immediately and keep a few for myself.

      Thanks.
      Email me at jtlucas11@gmail.com

      Not from NJ, but i've worked with national clients multiple times, and right now I really need some cash coming in while I'm setting up my postcard campaign.

      I'll take every lead you've got.

      Looking forward to hearing from you

      Thanks!

      -Josh
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    Ok but I can only give you 2 for now! Will email you in like 15-20 mins, thanks.

    -Red
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    • Profile picture of the author Prince Vegeta
      Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

      Ok but I can only give you 2 for now! Will email you in like 20 mins, thanks.

      -Red
      Thanks man!
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      • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
        Originally Posted by Prince Vegeta View Post

        Thanks man!

        Ok sent!

        For the next person who asked I'll be sending them in like 5-10 minutes! (@ john david)

        -Red

        [GUYS LEADS ARE GONE!! PLEASE NO MORE PMS FOR NOW! I will get back to everyone else by the end of tonight, and the people who did not receive leads you will be the first ones I pm tommorow when new leads come in. & THANK YOU for acting so fast people I appreciate it.]
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnDavid
    I'd be glad to work with you on a couple of your leads. I also have clients in other states and even countries. Appreciate ya.
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  • Profile picture of the author jspmedia
    let me know if you get more free leads or outsource some of your overflow works to me...
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    • Profile picture of the author abbot
      Banned
      Red,

      Sent you a PM.

      Regards,

      M.
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  • Profile picture of the author John Williamson
    Congratulations, Red. Sounds exciting. Never really looked at Craigslist in that light, but your story is quite intriguing and makes me want to test the waters and see what happens.

    Thanks for the valuable information.
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  • Profile picture of the author xlfutur1
    It seems to me that your copywriting "secret" is really not that much of a secret, its just copy that is honest, to the point, and not B.S.

    Craigslist is so full of scammers and con artists that when someone actually reads something that sounds completely honest and real. it clicks with them.

    It also sounds like you provide value in your copy without expecting anything in return and that can be a terrific sales tool for getting people to react on an emotional level.

    One of the best sales letters I ever read was completely educational....10 strategies for... (to be honest, I don't even remember the product it was selling!) but I forked over money after reading it because I got so much information and education from the sales letter that it compelled me to buy the product to learn more.

    Business owners are so sick of hearing "first page of Google" blah blah blah that when they hear what to them sounds like the honest truth (i.e. reality) the trust factor goes way up.

    You obviously built the trust factor from the start, so that would explain the response. Terrific post!
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    Absolutely SPOT ON!

    Honesty & value are so powerful that some people use them to sell lies.

    I noticed some very intelligent, yet unethical copywriters doing this. Say they fill their salespage up with 80% BRUTAL honesty, since people will sense the honesty, more than anything, they won't realize the remaining 20% of the copy is BS.

    This allows some copywriters to sneak in VERY powerful claims, claims that normally wouldn't be accepted that easily by most people. The honesty can actually act as a "vessel" to transport the bs straight into a persons brain. Its all about balance. JUST BECAUSE the reader FEELS strong honesty, they fall into the trap. Which of course creates sales.

    So one very interesting aspect of honesty is it can actually be used as a weapon or tool to manipulate people.

    You didn't see me write that btw.

    I definitely don't condone this, but think outside the box.. honesty can be used to vessel other beliefs into peoples minds too. Like talent or bragging. If you try to brag in a hyped up letter, noone believes it. If you brag in a letter thats mostly honest, people WILL believe it.

    Thats why I find copywriting so damn fascinating. It really IS a lot more powerful than most people understand.

    -Red
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  • Profile picture of the author xlfutur1
    I found your ad and after reading it, I think its the take away selling that makes it compelling. Kind of like "here's the way it will be with me, and if you don't like it, don't call me" kind of thing. Very powerful because most people don't talk that way. Thanks again for sharing your CL experience.
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    • Profile picture of the author jimbo13
      Copywriting is a great skill to have. You should get some books and read up.

      Anyway Red, I look forward to our Guitar lesson.

      That was the Ad wasn't it?

      Dan
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  • Profile picture of the author HAdrian1239
    I just wanted to say that... I took the basic idea in this thread, and put my own copy spin on it... and ended up with 2 leads in less than 24 hours.... so it works... obviously.
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    • Profile picture of the author iAmNameLess
      Originally Posted by HAdrian1239 View Post

      I just wanted to say that... I took the basic idea in this thread, and put my own copy spin on it... and ended up with 2 leads in less than 24 hours.... so it works... obviously.
      Craigslist has always worked... common sense with it goes a long way. Although, I never post in the small biz section anymore.
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      • Profile picture of the author RimaNaj2011
        Where are the best sections to post in? And how often do you guys post new ads?
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    • Profile picture of the author Prince Vegeta
      Originally Posted by HAdrian1239 View Post

      I just wanted to say that... I took the basic idea in this thread, and put my own copy spin on it... and ended up with 2 leads in less than 24 hours.... so it works... obviously.
      Nice! And same here, woke up this morning with an email in my inbox, talking to the guy right now.
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      • Profile picture of the author nyk24
        well done redshifted not just for taing action but for doing your homework.

        However do you think that you could be getting higher paying clients by transfering your great sales copy on to another advertising mediums like local radio, newspapers, trade magazines etc where the potential customers are going to have money to spend. You could even try cold calling using the sales letter as a script.

        Places like craigslist, gumtree and anywhere else where it is free or almost free to advertise generally are going to attract low end clients.

        Some low end clients however can be turned in to high end clients with regards to seo if for example they are in a trade that can earn a lot. Instead of charging them an affordable price why not go down the commision route?

        I have recently done this. Once client starts to get business I will get 20% commision on all sales. Most sales will be from $500 to $5000 for him.

        He will pay me nothing until he gets work. It's a win win situation....I earn more than a monthly deal, he has no risk and no upfront costs and I have more motivation to do well and suceed in getting his business to the top of google.

        I know this probably sounds hard to believe but sometimes as you know it's the simplist things that work in life.

        Like you said honesty, no gimicks and no jargon.

        I also make it clear to a client how many people can't find them on google each month and I ask questions on how well their business is doing now, their goals and their advertising costs (if any). The key is to remind the prospect how bleak things are for his business but how good they could become.

        This method works I've seen one of the best gurus in the uk (jonathon jay from Nabo) do this in front of 200 people in london. He makes you feel like you are a failure at first and that your business is in desperate need of help, then he lifts you up by being positive and giving you lots of advice and help on how to generally make your business work. Like all gurus he doesn't give it all to you but he comes across and honest and informative
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  • Profile picture of the author JWImarketing
    This was really am awesome read. I have one question too. I have had a problem with phishers evrytime I use CL. Have you had any problems with them???
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  • Profile picture of the author shortandsave
    man this thread is motivating me to go get more clients. i needed that! thanks
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  • Profile picture of the author John Durham
    Looks like you have a wildfire on your hands here Mr. Shifted.. better write something for us before you get mobbed! By an army of one! lol

    JK, I would have only told John Durham this one if I were you.
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

    Only reason I'm posting this thread is because I have sucked on CL for years but the second I viewed it in terms of writing solid copy, now I'm getting a decent response.
    This post made me smile.

    I love seeing the copywriting spark ignite in people.

    Rock on, Red.

    Best,

    Brian
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  • This is awesome, I am glad you are having that much success. Offline marketing is a goldmine : ) I placed a couple of image ads on craigslist and I got a decent response, I never really did a lot of "copywriting" per your permission, I will now "copy, edit, paste" if that's cool. Thanks so much for the priceless advice.

    People pay attention! this is the good stuff, and it does not require a WSO, take this and just go with it! It's funny to watch how amazing people give great advice and then we see the desperate " what to do if I need $500 in 3 days" kinda posts. The thread about the postcards, Johns cold calling PDF, and the newsletter thread that was on fire lately. Seriously you DO NOT have to have every WSO, just stick with one of these FREE methods!

    I will not bash WSO's as I have bought a couple and they have made me a lot of money, but even if you don't have the money, this forum will MAKE YOU RICH if you only pay attention! By the way, I evernote the hell out of all of this stuff : )

    I love this forum, and I hardly tell people about it, because it's too good to share! John is right wishing you had only told him about this. Anyways now I'm getting off topic, lol.

    A million thanks! : )
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    • Profile picture of the author blueonblue
      This is amazing

      I think I fsound one of the OPs posts here in my area because it is basically word for word his pitch (unless someone copied it) although it lists one of the local small towns around here so I am beginning to think it is a copy.

      The first one I am listing here is all hype and is off the wall with what it promises...

      http://baltimore.craigslist.org/biz/3146195777.html

      the second one (not posting the one I mention earlier because if it is RedShifts, I don't want to compete with him.

      Anyway the next one, the ad looks decent but when you go to their website no only is it pretty crappy it says 2009 at the bottom. Here they are preaching that people need a mondern website and they themselves don't have one..LOL!

      http://baltimore.craigslist.org/biz/3155963758.html

      I will be writing to the OP and asking him if the one that is pretty much using his copy is his. If not, then I will post the CL link here and ask you what is the best way to make a similar or better ad. Im going to put on something now as something, even not that great is a start. Then will tweak it and tweak it until it converts.

      Since I don't have time to actually visit people due to my J.O.B (just over broke) I will be going with out of my area CL so I can call people and with some other sources online to connect to the offline world. Ciao for now...Busy!!
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      • Profile picture of the author IMguy123
        Originally Posted by blueonblue View Post

        This is amazing

        I think I fsound one of the OPs posts here in my area because it is basically word for word his pitch (unless someone copied it) although it lists one of the local small towns around here so I am beginning to think it is a copy.

        The first one I am listing here is all hype and is off the wall with what it promises...

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/biz/3146195777.html

        the second one (not posting the one I mention earlier because if it is RedShifts, I don't want to compete with him.

        Anyway the next one, the ad looks decent but when you go to their website no only is it pretty crappy it says 2009 at the bottom. Here they are preaching that people need a mondern website and they themselves don't have one..LOL!

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/biz/3155963758.html

        I will be writing to the OP and asking him if the one that is pretty much using his copy is his. If not, then I will post the CL link here and ask you what is the best way to make a similar or better ad. Im going to put on something now as something, even not that great is a start. Then will tweak it and tweak it until it converts.

        Since I don't have time to actually visit people due to my J.O.B (just over broke) I will be going with out of my area CL so I can call people and with some other sources online to connect to the offline world. Ciao for now...Busy!!
        I am fairly sure I found his ad and those you listed are not one of his. The one I found of his is completely text and no images or html.

        Edit: hmmm and now doing another search I do see some copy cats using much of the same copy he has in his ad.
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      • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
        Originally Posted by blueonblue View Post

        This is amazing

        I think I fsound one of the OPs posts here in my area because it is basically word for word his pitch (unless someone copied it) although it lists one of the local small towns around here so I am beginning to think it is a copy.

        The first one I am listing here is all hype and is off the wall with what it promises...

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/biz/3146195777.html

        the second one (not posting the one I mention earlier because if it is RedShifts, I don't want to compete with him.

        Anyway the next one, the ad looks decent but when you go to their website no only is it pretty crappy it says 2009 at the bottom. Here they are preaching that people need a mondern website and they themselves don't have one..LOL!

        http://baltimore.craigslist.org/biz/3155963758.html

        I will be writing to the OP and asking him if the one that is pretty much using his copy is his. If not, then I will post the CL link here and ask you what is the best way to make a similar or better ad. Im going to put on something now as something, even not that great is a start. Then will tweak it and tweak it until it converts.

        Since I don't have time to actually visit people due to my J.O.B (just over broke) I will be going with out of my area CL so I can call people and with some other sources online to connect to the offline world. Ciao for now...Busy!!
        Ok so the first one was deleted by the author. The second one I wasn't able to find even one line that I liked.

        To make matters worse, the one line he bolded out with red is a complete waste of time. This guy is claiming to be a professional, yet he can't actually explain WHAT makes a website professional. Instead he just says this:

        "It's not enough that you just have a website. You must have a professional-looking site if you want to be taken seriously."

        Imagine a business owner reading that line and what would go their mind. Do you think they're going to think "OMFG where has this man been all my life?!"

        No way, they're going to think he's an idiot. They will probably feel insulted too for all I know. Business owners are a lot smarter than most marketers seem to realize. Thats like telling someone "in order to get a good job you should have a good resume". I also saw his site and its atrocious just like you said.

        But this is good news afaic. Because the majority of web designers are writing dispicable ads just like this. Then they wonder why CL "doesn't work".

        I also don't like the fact that he listed every single service he could possibly think of. Thats a great way to paralyze your prospects with too much information. Like what do you SPECIALIZE IN? Don't tell people you do 50 million different things. Divide it down into seperate ads and have a stronger focus on the benefits rather than the features. Then write copy that people actually WANT TO READ.

        His opening sentence is "We are a professional media production company that specializes in websites, blah blah blah". I'm sure thats going to hook a lot of people to read the rest of the copy lol. I would start off with something like "Our business has 40 kagillion years experience combined, our web designers all have PHDs and are the most advanced in the industry undergoing rigorous training 3 times a day. We employ psychics to predict future market trends and spy on your competition via satellite imagery provided directly by the CIA" lol.

        Thats obviously a joke but the point is to immediately distinguish yourself in someway. I know if I make my first few sentences really powerful, people will likely read the rest of the ad no matter what. So I spend most time on my intros usually, then on my outros and call to action. The middle I just pack with benefits/brutal honesty.

        Anyways, let me go see what other people have posted in this thread. I think it would incredibly cool if people got in the habit of posting their ads in here and let others criticize them. I've been getting some good ads in my inbox from other warriors and for the most part they're not that bad. But I'm definitely noticing people using lines that will kill a clients interest immediately.

        I'm going to get some more ads together and write some solid critiques on them, then I'll start posting my reviews if people want to read them. Remember I'm not a professional copywriter but I do believe I have a knack for understanding how people think. All I know is when I write my own ads every single sentence I will try to pretend I am a business owner looking for a web designer. I actually try to think and be skeptical like they would. Like "what effect is this line REALLY creating in my prospects minds"?

        There is actually more to it than just putting yourself in their shoes. But I'll get to all of that as I start posting more reviews.

        Thanks - Rob
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        • Profile picture of the author blueonblue
          Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

          Ok so the first one was deleted by the author. The second one I wasn't able to find even one line that I liked.

          To make matters worse, the one line he bolded out with red is a complete waste of time. This guy is claiming to be a professional, yet he can't actually explain WHAT makes a website professional. Instead he just says this:

          "It's not enough that you just have a website. You must have a professional-looking site if you want to be taken seriously."

          Imagine a business owner reading that line and what would go their mind. Do you think they're going to think "OMFG where has this man been all my life?!"

          No way, they're going to think he's an idiot. They will probably feel insulted too for all I know. Business owners are a lot smarter than most marketers seem to realize. Thats like telling someone "in order to get a good job you should have a good resume". I also saw his site and its atrocious just like you said.

          But this is good news afaic. Because the majority of web designers are writing dispicable ads just like this. Then they wonder why CL "doesn't work".

          I also don't like the fact that he listed every single service he could possibly think of. Thats a great way to paralyze your prospects with too much information. Like what do you SPECIALIZE IN? Don't tell people you do 50 million different things. Divide it down into seperate ads and have a stronger focus on the benefits rather than the features. Then write copy that people actually WANT TO READ.

          His opening sentence is "We are a professional media production company that specializes in websites, blah blah blah". I'm sure thats going to hook a lot of people to read the rest of the copy lol. I would start off with something like "Our business has 40 kagillion years experience combined, our web designers all have PHDs and are the most advanced in the industry undergoing rigorous training 3 times a day. We employ psychics to predict future market trends and spy on your competition via satellite imagery provided directly by the CIA" lol.

          Thats obviously a joke but the point is to immediately distinguish yourself in someway. I know if I make my first few sentences really powerful, people will likely read the rest of the ad no matter what. So I spend most time on my intros usually, then on my outros and call to action. The middle I just pack with benefits/brutal honesty.

          Anyways, let me go see what other people have posted in this thread. I think it would incredibly cool if people got in the habit of posting their ads in here and let others criticize them. I've been getting some good ads in my inbox from other warriors and for the most part they're not that bad. But I'm definitely noticing people using lines that will kill a clients interest immediately.

          I'm going to get some more ads together and write some solid critiques on them, then I'll start posting my reviews if people want to read them. Remember I'm not a professional copywriter but I do believe I have a knack for understanding how people think. All I know is when I write my own ads every single sentence I will try to pretend I am a business owner looking for a web designer. I actually try to think and be skeptical like they would. Like "what effect is this line REALLY creating in my prospects minds"?

          There is actually more to it than just putting yourself in their shoes. But I'll get to all of that as I start posting more reviews.

          Thanks - Rob
          just an update..this warrior pmed me to remove the l ink to his ad in this posting. Guess what. that was at 5pm. I checked at 830 pm and the ad was gone. Maybe he read your reply.

          Anyway redshifted, I posted on Sunday night in baltimore and not even a nibble. Can I post it here for a critique/assistance?

          Also have you tried LimnkedIn yet. Optimized my profile but nothing yet. Need to create a group. Now off to prepare for cold calling early in the morning before work!
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          • Profile picture of the author mrtrance
            Originally Posted by blueonblue View Post

            just an update..this warrior pmed me to remove the l ink to his ad in this posting. Guess what. that was at 5pm. I checked at 830 pm and the ad was gone. Maybe he read your reply.

            Anyway redshifted, I posted on Sunday night in baltimore and not even a nibble. Can I post it here for a critique/assistance?

            Also have you tried LimnkedIn yet. Optimized my profile but nothing yet. Need to create a group. Now off to prepare for cold calling early in the morning before work!
            It would be helpful to see what sort of ad copy you used and get Redshifted's feedback.
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          • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
            Originally Posted by blueonblue View Post

            just an update..this warrior pmed me to remove the l ink to his ad in this posting. Guess what. that was at 5pm. I checked at 830 pm and the ad was gone. Maybe he read your reply.

            Anyway redshifted, I posted on Sunday night in baltimore and not even a nibble. Can I post it here for a critique/assistance?

            Also have you tried LimnkedIn yet. Optimized my profile but nothing yet. Need to create a group. Now off to prepare for cold calling early in the morning before work!
            Oh wow, that was a warrior from here? Now I see why he removed his ad so fast.

            As far as posting your ad here absolutely go for it. I WANT to see as many ads as I can from you people otherwise the naysayers will just keep doubting everything I say.

            Thats not really the important part though. There were quite a few ads I put up on CL at first that failed miserably. I must have had around 20 ads that first week and didn't even get one response. So I'm sure many of you people are making a lot of the same exact mistakes I was.

            One of those major mistakes was me always trying to sound like an "official business" more than I was trying to sound like a savvy web designer (aka person) who knows their ****. Business owners DO NOT like that stuff. All this cold, emotionless "business talk" turns them off really fast. Like just dumping out a bunch of services you offer than writing generic benefits like I described above. That is the OPPOSITE of what you need to do.

            You really need to interupt peoples patterns exactly like NLP says. That requires that you say NOTHING close to what other web designers are saying. People will sense IMMEDIATELY when you sound different from the rest. You do this by intentionally avoiding the most obvious/common topics.

            Like once again don't tell people you can help them rank on google. Tell them they DON'T NEED to rank on google to get business. You automatically come off unique and make them think you possess some secret wisdom that nobody else has.

            Don't tell people they need fan pages or a linkedin profile, instead, talk about some previous businesses you worked for who now get all their leads from linked in/facebook. You always want to try "remixing" things in new ways so they are more powerful to read.

            To clarify, just think about it, which impresses YOU more?

            Someone saying:

            1) I can help you set up a linkedin account so you can get more business.

            OR

            2) Businesses I have worked for in the past are now getting nearly all their leads off linkedin.

            There is a MAJOR difference between those 2 statements. One implies guesswork, like "I might be able to get you business with linked in" another one SCREAMS "I have already done it so I know wtf I'm doing".

            Anyways, just post your ad man I'll be happy to critique it.

            -Red
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  • Profile picture of the author wally247
    I really liked this idea, so I gave it a try.

    And got flagged.


    There is no question in my mind from this, and from the few things I've sold on CL that the types of people who visit Craigslist are by far the worst, most despicable human beings on the planet.

    It's like the Wal-mart of the internet.

    Edit: (I shop at Walmart too, but still...it's rough looking like me and still being the BEST looking person in a place. OOFA!)
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  • Profile picture of the author mrtrance
    So the ad that you posted was this to get attract clients for web design only? Did you make your ad to just focus on web design or went more into how to get businesses new clients and money? I'm trying to understand if I want to say get clients for SEO or mobile web design/SMS should my copy be strictly focused on that particular service or should the ad copy be more general about just helping clients getting more traffic and business by way of internet marketing?
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    • Profile picture of the author rapatterson
      Thanks for the info. I have been wondering if Craigslist would be worth it or not. After you the calls what services are you offering to provide to them and what services are they usually looking for?
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    • Profile picture of the author blueonblue
      Originally Posted by mrtrance View Post

      So the ad that you posted was this to get attract clients for web design only? Did you make your ad to just focus on web design or went more into how to get businesses new clients and money? I'm trying to understand if I want to say get clients for SEO or mobile web design/SMS should my copy be strictly focused on that particular service or should the ad copy be more general about just helping clients getting more traffic and business by way of internet marketing?
      Experiment. Look at what RedShift says and just write the ad. Put it in your own words. If it doesn't work, then keep tweaking until it does work. Go to the library and get some good books on writing copy. Find some good information on copyrighting on the web. Lots of great free stuff for you to learn from until you can higher your own copywriter. He who doesn't tweak and experiments stops growing. He who stops growing..dies! IMHO
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  • Profile picture of the author maxrezn
    Well I've posted about 5 ads with great copy since Thursday....sad to say that I've gotten about 9 responses....100% of them being spam.
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    • Profile picture of the author blueonblue
      Originally Posted by maxrezn View Post

      Well I've posted about 5 ads with great copy since Thursday....sad to say that I've gotten about 9 responses....100% of them being spam.
      If at first you don't succeed try, try again. If you get spammy replies, try again. It sounds like the others posting here have the right idea. If you cater to the lowest common denomenator you will get the lowest. Talk with them not at them. Don't sell to them, educate them. Jeffrey Gitomer, in his sales books says show what the service can do for them and their bottom line. In the little platinum book of cha-ching, he explains that when the cash register was invented, the feature that sold it, was that it gave a receipt for the purchase and ended the days of fraud and losing money for the store owner. That was one of the principal selling points for the product!

      Remember that!
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  • Profile picture of the author mrtrance
    So anyone else have any success with this method so far as far as getting actual leads?
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    • Profile picture of the author wally247
      Originally Posted by mrtrance View Post

      So anyone else have any success with this method so far as far as getting actual leads?
      I've had no luck with this method in a few cities. In my city I got flagged by haters and in another city I did get a response.


      By someone who said "do you have time to discuss this more" and then I never heard anything again.


      Each time I use CL for anything (selling stuff, buying, whatever...) I always ask myself why I bother.


      Do you have to like fail an IQ test miserably to be able to respond to a CL ad or something?
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      • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
        Originally Posted by wally247 View Post

        I've had no luck with this method in a few cities. In my city I got flagged by haters and in another city I did get a response.


        By someone who said "do you have time to discuss this more" and then I never heard anything again.


        Each time I use CL for anything (selling stuff, buying, whatever...) I always ask myself why I bother.


        Do you have to like fail an IQ test miserably to be able to respond to a CL ad or something?
        Would you have a problem with posting **1** of the ads you made?

        You need to qualify people in the ads so they SEND their numbers over immediately. Even though some people will never send their number, I find the high majority of people DO.

        So I just call them back and get them on the phone asap.

        If you don't want to post your ad here at least pm it to me so I can take a look at it. I'm feeling very confident about my CL skills now and am sure I can help you. I have a lot more stuff I'll be posting in this thread soon so give me some time people and I will update later today.

        Thanks - Red
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        • Profile picture of the author wally247
          Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

          Would you have a problem with posting **1** of the ads you made?

          You need to qualify people in the ads so they SEND their numbers over immediately. Even though some people will never send their number, I find the high majority of people DO.

          So I just call them back and get them on the phone asap.

          If you don't want to post your ad here at least pm it to me so I can take a look at it. I'm feeling very confident about my CL skills now and am sure I can help you. I have a lot more stuff I'll be posting in this thread soon so give me some time people and I will update later today.

          Thanks - Red


          That's really cool of you! I PM'd you not because I mind sharing, but because I think my ad sucks...although at first I thought it was awesome.

          Thanks again!
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          • Profile picture of the author mrtrance
            Originally Posted by wally247 View Post

            That's really cool of you! I PM'd you not because I mind sharing, but because I think my ad sucks...although at first I thought it was awesome.

            Thanks again!

            Would mind PMing your ad as well?
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            • Profile picture of the author wally247
              Originally Posted by mrtrance View Post

              Would mind PMing your ad as well?
              Sure

              and more so I can post this....
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        • Profile picture of the author mrtrance
          Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

          Would you have a problem with posting **1** of the ads you made?

          You need to qualify people in the ads so they SEND their numbers over immediately. Even though some people will never send their number, I find the high majority of people DO.

          So I just call them back and get them on the phone asap.

          If you don't want to post your ad here at least pm it to me so I can take a look at it. I'm feeling very confident about my CL skills now and am sure I can help you. I have a lot more stuff I'll be posting in this thread soon so give me some time people and I will update later today.

          Thanks - Red
          I'd like to use strategy to possibly get SEO or mobile marketing (SMS/mobile website) clients compared to just regular web design work. Would I just focus on the benefits and what a mobile or optimized website will do for the client such increase traffic, get more customers, increase revenues, etc.? Is that what the selling points should be and not really talk about any of the IM jargon correct?
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  • Profile picture of the author maxrezn
    Here was one of my ads:

    What if your website could keep you booked all year?

    Imagine what your life could be like if you had more customers than you can could possibly handle. Your business's phone rings and rings....your bank account grows and grows. Your competitors are are struggling to get by, while you're only able to take the crème of the crop clientele that comes to you.

    This doesn't have to be a fantasy. This is the result of a well executed marketing STRATEGY. This all begins with a website that CONVERTS and makes clients TAKE ACTION. Over 95% of the websites out there today do not even have a basic “Call to Action” such as a “Call Right Now For a 100% Free Estimate”....and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

    In order for a website to send you more clients than you know what in the hell to do with, you'll need NLP content, testimonials, social proof, above the fold e-mail capture, and professionally written text that CONVINCES people on your business.

    This can get very complicated very quickly. Luckily I CAN HELP YOU WITH ALL OF IT. My name is Maksym. I have been designing sites for over 10 years and studying marketing for 5. I have made companies around the world hundreds of thousands of dollars through my work and I can prove it.

    At this time, I ONLY HAVE 2 OPENINGS until a few months from now. That means I can only take on 2 web projects. If you want a website that makes your phone ring of the hook, then let's sit down and talk. Send me an e-mail or call me at ______

    Cheers,
    Maksym R.
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    • Profile picture of the author mrtrance
      Originally Posted by maxrezn View Post

      Here was one of my ads:

      What if your website could keep you booked all year?

      Imagine what your life could be like if you had more customers than you can could possibly handle. Your business's phone rings and rings....your bank account grows and grows. Your competitors are are struggling to get by, while you're only able to take the crème of the crop clientele that comes to you.

      This doesn't have to be a fantasy. This is the result of a well executed marketing STRATEGY. This all begins with a website that CONVERTS and makes clients TAKE ACTION. Over 95% of the websites out there today do not even have a basic "Call to Action" such as a "Call Right Now For a 100% Free Estimate"....and that's just the tip of the iceberg.

      In order for a website to send you more clients than you know what in the hell to do with, you'll need NLP content, testimonials, social proof, above the fold e-mail capture, and professionally written text that CONVINCES people on your business.

      This can get very complicated very quickly. Luckily I CAN HELP YOU WITH ALL OF IT. My name is Maksym. I have been designing sites for over 10 years and studying marketing for 5. I have made companies around the world hundreds of thousands of dollars through my work and I can prove it.

      At this time, I ONLY HAVE 2 OPENINGS until a few months from now. That means I can only take on 2 web projects. If you want a website that makes your phone ring of the hook, then let's sit down and talk. Send me an e-mail or call me at ______

      Cheers,
      Maksym R.
      Any response from that ad?
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      • Profile picture of the author maxrezn
        Originally Posted by mrtrance View Post

        Any response from that ad?
        Spam. lots of it.
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        • Profile picture of the author mrtrance
          Originally Posted by maxrezn View Post

          Spam. lots of it.
          Another person with spam responses. I wonder how is Redshifted avoiding these spams and getting hot leads from this ads?
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          • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
            Originally Posted by mrtrance View Post

            Another person with spam responses. I wonder how is Redshifted avoiding these spams and getting hot leads from this ads?
            I think I've gotten 1 spam message in the last 3-4 days. Last week I don't remember getting ANY spam at all. Maybe the area you are posting just happens to have a lot of spammers. What I can tell you for sure is I live in the most densely populated state in the US (NJ) and I'm barely getting any spam at all.

            If you want, pm me where exactly you are posting, I will run some of my own ads in there and see what happens. Although even if you do get spam, that still shouldn't have anything to do with a lack of human responses. I'm assuming if I post one of my ads in your area, I'll probably get both spam AND human responses. I'm just not seeing a reason though why spam should stop you. Start doing split tests, write solid copy, and if you give it a good effort you should definitely get leads. Like I said it only took me 1 week of focusing on my copy before leads began rolling in. My lowest day so far has been 2 leads, but most days its around 3-7. Unless you are posting somewhere out in the midwest where theres a population of 1 person every square mile.

            I'm willing to try myself like I said. So just let me know.


            -Red
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            • Profile picture of the author mrtrance
              Originally Posted by RedShifted View Post

              I think I've gotten 1 spam message in the last 3-4 days. Last week I don't remember getting ANY spam at all. Maybe the area you are posting just happens to have a lot of spammers. What I can tell you for sure is I live in the most densely populated state in the US (NJ) and I'm barely getting any spam at all.

              If you want, pm me where exactly you are posting, I will run some of my own ads in there and see what happens. Although even if you do get spam, that still shouldn't have anything to do with a lack of human responses. I'm assuming if I post one of my ads in your area, I'll probably get both spam AND human responses. I'm just not seeing a reason though why spam should stop you. Start doing split tests, write solid copy, and if you give it a good effort you should definitely get leads. Like I said it only took me 1 week of focusing on my copy before leads began rolling in. My lowest day so far has been 2 leads, but most days its around 3-7. Unless you are posting somewhere out in the midwest where theres a population of 1 person every square mile.

              I'm willing to try myself like I said. So just let me know.


              -Red
              Thanks for offering to do and would really help me. So far I haven't posted yet in my area and trying to put together a good copy for what I want to offer.

              Would you mind giving me some input on my other post above regarding my desire to offer SEO and mobile marketing.
              Signature

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  • Profile picture of the author CollegeCEO
    I actually tried this method out and got an appointment and will possibly be closing it next week.
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    • Profile picture of the author blueonblue
      Hey RedShifted;
      As per your request for our ads, here is mine. I got now replies. Even Spam would have been appreciated..LOL..

      Thanks for the help. Please be gentle.

      By the way, I just noticed some of the grammar and spelling errors..surprised my word processor didn't catch them all.

      By the way, do you know anything about using Linkedin for offline marketing?

      Are You Getting All The Customers You Need? (Howard County)

      Date: 2012-07-22, 7:20PM EDT
      Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
      ARE YOU GETTING ALL THE CUSTOMERS YOU NEED TO HELP YOUR BUSINESS SURVIVE AND THRIVE?

      Today, most businesses are in a battle for survival. The opponent is the internet.
      Today when someone wants to find a service, a product, anything, they go to the internet.
      They go to Google and many different things can happen.

      Google brings up Manta the business directory--many businesses are on it but guess what? Many of those businesses don't have a website, so the looker avoids them. Many business owners think having a listing there is enough but it isn't.

      Google places. It can show people where you are but it is not enough. They still want to know more about you.



      SO DO YOU KNOW THE BEST WAY TO HELP YOUR BUSINESS?

      YOU NEED A WEBSITE

      BUT HERE IS THE SAD STORY--IF YOU HAVE LOOKED INTO A WEBSITE BEFORE, HERE IS THE SAD TRUTH..YOU HAVE BEEN LIED TO!
      A website will not bring people into your business by itself. It must be well written and intelligent. It must highlight what people what to see and most importantly, it must talk to them and explain your how your business can fit their needs...now..It doesn't matter if you are a simple kiosk at the mall, a plumber, florist or more. If it fits their needs, fixes a problem, etc..then they will read it, ask a question by email or maybe even call you or come in.

      IN TRUTH BUILD A BETTER MOUSETRAP AND THE WORLD WILL BEAT A PATH TO YOUR DOOR. This philosophy still works.

      Why am I telling you this? Because there are a lot of web designers who will not tell you the truth. They tell you that you need to be on the first page of google and that you need ecommerce and facebook pages and twitter. Maybe later on, but not starting out.

      If you have a website, it may be too complicated or it may simply not be sufficient enough to best show off your business or it m be out of date. Web design changes like every couple of years and what was once attractive no longer is.

      Anyway, here is what I would like you to do..If you are interested in bringing more customers in your door, or more appointments if that is what you need, email me at the craigslist email above. Tell me about your business and what you want from a website--what is your mission statement, what do you specialize in, what sets you apart from others in your field (not just pricing etc).

      I will then contact you by email about setting up a demo website to see if I understand your needs. If you like what you see, we can go from there

      Thank you for your time. All the best. Ask for Harlan
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      • Profile picture of the author iAmNameLess
        Originally Posted by blueonblue View Post

        Hey RedShifted;
        As per your request for our ads, here is mine. I got now replies. Even Spam would have been appreciated..LOL..

        Thanks for the help. Please be gentle.

        By the way, I just noticed some of the grammar and spelling errors..surprised my word processor didn't catch them all.

        By the way, do you know anything about using Linkedin for offline marketing?

        Are You Getting All The Customers You Need? (Howard County)

        Date: 2012-07-22, 7:20PM EDT
        Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
        ARE YOU GETTING ALL THE CUSTOMERS YOU NEED TO HELP YOUR BUSINESS SURVIVE AND THRIVE?

        Today, most businesses are in a battle for survival. The opponent is the internet.
        Today when someone wants to find a service, a product, anything, they go to the internet.
        They go to Google and many different things can happen.

        Google brings up Manta the business directory--many businesses are on it but guess what? Many of those businesses don't have a website, so the looker avoids them. Many business owners think having a listing there is enough but it isn't.

        Google places. It can show people where you are but it is not enough. They still want to know more about you.



        SO DO YOU KNOW THE BEST WAY TO HELP YOUR BUSINESS?

        YOU NEED A WEBSITE

        BUT HERE IS THE SAD STORY--IF YOU HAVE LOOKED INTO A WEBSITE BEFORE, HERE IS THE SAD TRUTH..YOU HAVE BEEN LIED TO!
        A website will not bring people into your business by itself. It must be well written and intelligent. It must highlight what people what to see and most importantly, it must talk to them and explain your how your business can fit their needs...now..It doesn't matter if you are a simple kiosk at the mall, a plumber, florist or more. If it fits their needs, fixes a problem, etc..then they will read it, ask a question by email or maybe even call you or come in.

        IN TRUTH BUILD A BETTER MOUSETRAP AND THE WORLD WILL BEAT A PATH TO YOUR DOOR. This philosophy still works.

        Why am I telling you this? Because there are a lot of web designers who will not tell you the truth. They tell you that you need to be on the first page of google and that you need ecommerce and facebook pages and twitter. Maybe later on, but not starting out.

        If you have a website, it may be too complicated or it may simply not be sufficient enough to best show off your business or it m be out of date. Web design changes like every couple of years and what was once attractive no longer is.

        Anyway, here is what I would like you to do..If you are interested in bringing more customers in your door, or more appointments if that is what you need, email me at the craigslist email above. Tell me about your business and what you want from a website--what is your mission statement, what do you specialize in, what sets you apart from others in your field (not just pricing etc).

        I will then contact you by email about setting up a demo website to see if I understand your needs. If you like what you see, we can go from there

        Thank you for your time. All the best. Ask for Harlan
        In my opinion... it's way too long... you have no REAL call to action... you lost me in the very beginning.

        Get ATTENTION... KEEP IT... Expand on it and capitalize on their emotions and connect with the reader. Do that, press their buttons, be a little controversial at times and you'll be better off.

        Your grammar and way of stringing some words together is not very good.

        It takes time, and it takes TESTING.
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        • Profile picture of the author blueonblue
          Originally Posted by iAmNameLess View Post

          In my opinion... it's way too long... you have no REAL call to action... you lost me in the very beginning.

          Get ATTENTION... KEEP IT... Expand on it and capitalize on their emotions and connect with the reader. Do that, press their buttons, be a little controversial at times and you'll be better off.

          Your grammar and way of stringing some words together is not very good.

          It takes time, and it takes TESTING.

          Well instead of trashing my posting, how about offering something more constructive like cut this paragraph, add this to it etc. What you gave me was vague. I am aware that there are weaknesses. I would be interested in knowing what to trash, what to keep, etc. That is why I want RedShifted to look at it too. I think he might do better and please PM me if possible.
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          • Profile picture of the author iAmNameLess
            Originally Posted by blueonblue View Post

            Well instead of trashing my posting, how about offering something more constructive like cut this paragraph, add this to it etc. What you gave me was vague. I am aware that there are weaknesses. I would be interested in knowing what to trash, what to keep, etc. That is why I want RedShifted to look at it too. I think he might do better and please PM me if possible.
            ......

            I'm not getting paid to write something for you, I offered free input.

            Obviously if I said you lost me in the beginning, that is the #1 thing to work on. RedShifted and anyone else here, can't help you if you don't test. That's why I suggested testing, testing, and testing some more. Ungrateful people these days...
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            • Profile picture of the author blueonblue
              Originally Posted by iAmNameLess View Post

              ......

              I'm not getting paid to write something for you, I offered free input.

              Obviously if I said you lost me in the beginning, that is the #1 thing to work on. RedShifted and anyone else here, can't help you if you don't test. That's why I suggested testing, testing, and testing some more. Ungrateful people these days...

              no you are being rude. You offer a little criticism but you don't offer enough ways to help people Then when someone asks you okay fine than show me what I am doing wrong you answer with a very snide remark which is unnecessary. This subforum is for help not to be rebuffed.
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  • Profile picture of the author JohnnyBattles
    Has anyone done testing as to what works best.. long copy vs short vs images with a call to action??
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  • Profile picture of the author iAmNameLess
    People get spam in the small biz part of craigslist all the time, mostly because of a few bunk CL products praising the small biz part. I have NEVER had real success in that area of craigslist, then again, I consider it a failure if it isn't pulling in min. 5K/mo.

    You have to keep in mind, that part of the website is one of the areas with lower traffic. Your copy doesn't matter when it isn't getting traffic.

    With craigslist.... this is the hierarchy of importance.
    1.) Posting in volume
    2.) Headline Copy
    3.) Call to action
    4.) Body Copy
    5.) ANSWERING your freaking phone

    A good ad with our type of services, should have at least a 25% response rate.
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    • Profile picture of the author blueonblue
      Originally Posted by abelamorales View Post

      Hey guys, what are your thoughts about this listing

      Hate your current website? I CAN HELP!

      IMHO-- I think you should dump the BE prepared to dump lots of money in SEO. That might cause people to run like a deer caught in the headlights.

      Also, perhaps one column might work better than two.

      Just a thought.
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    • Profile picture of the author ShadyRay
      I'm curious what type of volume you're posting to get significant results. Are you spreading your ad among many cities? Reposting religiously?

      I've had some luck with CL using very short ads, so I'm going to give this a shot.
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  • Profile picture of the author HAdrian1239
    Dude... he never trashed your post, and he helps more people here than most people ever even breathe on. His time is incredibly valuable, and he didn't have to respond at all...

    You're being sensitive. There's a whole sub forum on here revolving around writing great copy. Go dig around in there, and learn for yourself instead of expecting to be spoon fed. More than anything else... keep taking action.

    I agree with him, you lost me in the first bit, because it's full of stuff that, if I didn't know what I know, would go right over my head, and give me no reason to be emotionally attached to it, because among other things, you yammer on about "business" in general, instead of something that appeals (broadly or specifically) to MY business that I can relate to...

    But it's not a one shot deal... modify and keep posting...I have several variations of ads at this point, and just posted some new ones today. If I just posted one ad and gave up, well, I'd probably be the next one on this place whining about how things don't work and how useless people are around here... you know? Don't fall into that trap!
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  • Profile picture of the author Fred708
    Hey blueonblue-
    I'm a pay-per-click/AdWords guy, and I spend most of my days writing a s#%t-ton of ads, so I'm coming at this from a bit different direction I guess. In my experience, as has been mentioned previously, the only way to truly know what's working and what isn't is to try it out.
    So for example, try one full-page ad and one short, 3 paragraph ad. Then try one with bullet points. Then try one with a picture. After a bit, you'll see what's working and what isn't, then you can refine all the things that did work into successful ads.
    Regarding the specific ad you posted:
    I like the overall concept, I think it just needs a little editing. Also, maybe for a headline, instead of :
    Are You Getting All The Customers You Need?
    you could go with something more like:
    Is Your Website Getting All the Customers It Can?

    I'm not saying go with that, but try and lead into what it is you're talking about quickly, then hammer it home - they have a problem, you have a solution.
    I think this thread is really interesting, and have posted some ads on CL myself, but since I just started running them on Monday, I don't have anything accurate to go on yet. I will say it's a lot more fun having a little space to work with than my usual 3 lines bizzarro haiku Adwords format.
    Hope this helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author focusedlife
    @Red - Getting as busy as you're sounding is a great problem to have.

    You've got to bottle that formula and make it work.

    i have some stuff to share with you soon that will reinforce your need to captialize.

    Great stories, shares and good luck to come.

    Regards

    Los
    Signature
    The only group with more actionable info than any WSO → The Parlay Society
    Want me to write stuff for you? → Click here to check this out
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  • Profile picture of the author RedShifted
    Ok so I'm definitely getting a lot of pms now and honestly its becoming a bit overwhelming atm. I have to also admit how humored I am by the fact that so many people are swiping my ads.

    I am finding them in georgia, florida, ny, arizona.. and I know there was a couple more I just don't remember where.

    People, I DO NOT have an issue with this. No issue whatsoever. I think I even told you people straight out you can use my stuff. The only thing I'm worried about is this may kill your motivation to learn how to write proper copy. Like I'm reading a few sentences of my stuff, than copy right afterwards that is not really what I'd recommend.

    Although at the same time I'll admit you guys DO seem to be trying really hard, I just don't think most of you are using templates of good copy to help you (remember there is a whole forum of VERY talented copywriters over in the copywriting section, guys like harlan, steve the copywriter, mark andrews, you can learn a TON by finding their work and printing it out).

    For blueonblue and abelamorales, I will review both of your ads tommorow.

    For blueonblue (just a quick comment for now), I found your intro engaging and interesting. However you are framing things in a way I don't recommend. When you build a strong competitive frame like you did in the first paragraph, what you wind up telegraphing to your prospects is FEAR.

    The problem being, that the fear is NOT subtle enough. In order to properly "scare" a person, it must come off like you're not trying. It should be done casually and the fear should settle in their heads as an afterthought. I will show you how to do this when I respond tommorow. All I know is people will immediately sense that you're TRYING to scare them, and this will create a negative response.

    Then when you talk about web designers who are out to take advantage of them, this is similar to what I say, except once again I believe you are being too obvious with it.

    When I used that part in my ads, I said "If you don't know about SEO, you will never know when someone is taking advantage of you". Note that I didn't say "web designers". I also didn't say someone *WILL* take advantage of them. Thats too obvious. I was intentionally trying to make it sound casual, like I don't care if they get taken advantage of.

    You NEED to telegraph that indifference to people. Otherwise if you do NOT, and you boldy state something like "You need to know about SEO, or webdesigners will take advantage of you" that comes across as YOU telling people "you need to listen to me, or you're screwed". You are too obviously attached to the outcome. Clients will sense desperation, MORESO they will sense manipulation (biggest trust killer I can think of), and so that will ruin your conversions.

    Thats why if you read my ad, a tone of indifference goes a long way.

    You can also say something like "The more you know about SEO, the less you have to worry about being taken advantage of" I don't suggest focusing on WHO will be taking advantage of them. As once again this makes it too obvious that you're trying to scare them.

    Thats why it really seems to me many of you people actually need to tone certain elements down. You guys are focusing on creating a specific effect, which is good, but you wind up focusing on it so much you make your point too strong. Then the prospect reads it and they immediately sense that is was contrived. Like "this guy is obviously writing this to intentionally scare me".

    Either way I'm going to be back tommorow and I'll write more elaborate reviews. I've been pretty stuck on time lately but I WILL revive this thread with some fresh, informative feedback for those submitting their work. &blueonblue I'm not done with you so don't feel like this is all I have to say. =]

    -Red
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    • Profile picture of the author njs7227
      I had two quick observations that I wanted to share.

      For those of you saying you get spammers, try a trick I learned from one of Maria Guidelis' (sp?) WSOs. Put your name, phone number, url, email, etc in an image when you post to craigslist. At the very least, this will stop the scrapers from finding you since scrapers can't read "pictures".

      Secondly, I have a keen eye for spam email messages, even ones that sound legit but which I know I didn't ask to be sent information. However, I got one that I deliberately opened and keep in my inbox to this day to study it. It was to do a website checkup (a service I don't need), but it was very direct, not a single exclamation point, a little scare tactic involved but nothing too scammy/spammy sounding, four short paragraphs.

      I realize this isn't related to craigslist per se, but it illustrates how one guy was able to bypass my spamdar (spam radar) and catch my attention with a good, direct, honest sales pitch.
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