How to get used to rejection

11 years ago

Originally Posted by joe golfer

If you are struggling to take action to cold call, go to a meetup or try to get a speaking opportunity to build your offline business, you may fear rejection.

Congratulations, my friend, you are human.

You'll never LOVE rejection, unless you are unbalanced, which some of you clearly are.

But you can get used to rejection. Read how Jia Jiang created his own rejection therapy he calls 100 Days of Rejection:

Entre.sting | My Journey to Befriend Rejection

Rejection Therapy: A Hundred Days of 'No' - Businessweek

Here's his TEDx talk on the project (where you will learn about life Before Donuts and After Donuts):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFWyseydTkQ

You may not ask Barnes and Noble if you can borrow a book, or ask an ice cream shop to make a flavor named after you, all to get used to rejection.

But these stories show rejection won't kill you, and you can achieve every goal you have in offline marketing.

Rejection is part of the success formula. People run away from adversity when it's confronting the dark parts of ourselves that will materialize what we really want.
When someone says no to your offer, they are really saying NO to a thousand smaller things such as your product, prices, positioning, brand, delivery et al.

People are used to generalizing rejection and taking ownership as part of who they are, this is bullshit. They don't know you from Adam. How can they possibly reject you?

I get abuse shouted at me down the phone all the time. It's part of the game. It's not pleasant, and I hang up on these people very quickly because I don't want that negative vibe to affect the next call. But I don't ever sit and ponder the meaning behind their irrational behaviour, I don't jump to conclusions that it must be about ME, because you are only making assumptions which are probably wrong anyway when you do this.

My experience as a cold caller.

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serryjw 11 years ago

I LOVED the 'no's...as a veteran sales manager, I hate the maybes! Cold Calling is FUN if you get and keep your prospect off balance. They know how to pigeonhole anyone that sounds like they are pushing their wares....They DELIBERATELY want you to be professional and earn their business.... ASK yourself, would you want to do business with someone that didn't know their S*** and didn't care about mine?
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kenmichaels

11 years ago

Originally Posted by PanteraIM

I get abuse shouted at me down the phone all the time. It's part of the game. It's not pleasant, and I hang up on these people very quickly because I don't want that negative vibe to affect the next call. But I don't ever sit and ponder the meaning behind their irrational behaviour, I don't jump to conclusions that it must be about ME, because you are only making assumptions which are probably wrong anyway when you do this.
.

If that's true, your doing something wrong.

20+ years on the phone and i can count on one hand how many times
I have been verbally abused.

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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Originally Posted by kenmichaels

If that's true, your doing something wrong.

20+ years on the phone and i can count on one hand how many times
I have been verbally abused.

Same here. I've never been hung up on that I can remember. But these calls are to business people expecting calls from speakers. Calls to homes? I would expect a different result.

But selling door to door? I've been told to leave a home twice. both times were absolutely deserved.
That's twice out of perhaps 12,000 presentations.

I've been watching the Jordan Belfort DVDs from Straight Line Selling.

I thought I knew how to sell by phone, but I was wrong.
Sure, the qualification questions are the same as what I use...the appeals are the same...the closes are pretty close.
But the intonation, pacing of the voice, inflection, timing of silence, gesturing while talking (Yes, gesturing while talking on the phone), and methodology of handling "No" are light years ahead of what I've done.

Belfort looks like a wet rat and talks like a Mob hit man, but he really really knows how to sell over the phone.

His boiler room was what the movie...well....Boiler Room was based on.

I think his training program cost $1,000. Maybe twice that. I think you can get the DVDs alone on Ebay for a couple hundred dollars. I'd do it.

I'm studying it now, with plans to sell my services directly over the phone.
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- kenmichaels 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by Claude Whitacre
  
  I thought I knew how to sell by phone, but I was wrong.
  
  lots of face to face sales people think that.
  
  most of them are wrong. most cant shift over ...
  
  you my friend. you have my number. use it.
  if there is anything n this world i can call myself an expert on
  
  its phone sales.
  
  If you really want to learn ... i will help.
  
  fair warning though ... no seeing anything
  you have to listen to and inter prate ( hmm did i spell that right )
  properly all the subtle nuances
  
  its a bitch ... but once you get the hang of it ... totally addictive
  and waaaay easier then face to face.
  
  you can come to fl for a few weeks... or i can help over the phone
  if you want.
  
  this is a Claude only offer ... to any one else the answer is NO
  
  edit later --
  you can even go old school and knock on the desk
  and say ... "do you hear that? .. thats opportunity knocking" ....
  
  what are you going to do?
  
  Thanks
  
  1 reply
  
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  Selling Ain't for Sissies!
  
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  shane_k 11 years ago
  
  Originally Posted by joe golfer
  
  You may not ask Barnes and Noble if you can borrow a book, or ask an ice cream shop to make a flavor named after you, all to get used to rejection.
  
  After I read this part I definately have to watch the video now, lol.
  
  Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan
  
  Being told "I'm not interested" on a prospecting call is NOT rejection.
  
  You had a great post with some good points.
  
  And I think your view of rejection and Claude's can be a goal for others to look to achieve.
  
  But obviously most are not there yet.
  
  Originally Posted by China Newz
  
  You can try to condition yourself to overcome this fear but it will likely always be there a little bit.
  
  I think this is important. Your goal shouldn't be to completely eliminate fear, that is impossible. Instead your goal should be to be able to bring that fear down to a manageable level, where even though you feel it, it is not a problem and doesn't get in the way.
  
  I have a friend who says, "Fear is good. It stops you from trying to pet a bear!"
  
  Originally Posted by serryjw
  
  I LOVED the 'no's...as a veteran sales manager, I hate the maybes!
  
  This is soo true!
  
  Whether it is face to face, cold calling, referrals, etc what you quickly learn is that the maybe's are worse than the no's.
  
  No's allow you to move forward, whereas maybe's can bring you to a standstill.
  
  Thanks
  
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Radioheada

11 years ago

Originally Posted by joe golfer

If you are struggling to take action to cold call, go to a meetup or try to get a speaking opportunity to build your offline business, you may fear rejection.

Congratulations, my friend, you are human.

You'll never LOVE rejection, unless you are unbalanced, which some of you clearly are.

But you can get used to rejection. Read how Jia Jiang created his own rejection therapy he calls 100 Days of Rejection:

Entre.sting | My Journey to Befriend Rejection

Rejection Therapy: A Hundred Days of 'No' - Businessweek

Here's his TEDx talk on the project (where you will learn about life Before Donuts and After Donuts):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFWyseydTkQ

You may not ask Barnes and Noble if you can borrow a book, or ask an ice cream shop to make a flavor named after you, all to get used to rejection.

But these stories show rejection won't kill you, and you can achieve every goal you have in offline marketing.

I find it fascinating how self-esteem develops in Jia Jiang, the man behind the blog you suggested. Now he is slowly becoming a media personality, after his TED talk, and a life's mission that is to help other people find a solution to a problem- handling rejection.

troubles help us grow, and the process of facing issues that only we can face, without any help, builds a character. he is courageous, and I admire his work.

I remember a great suggestion James Schramko, my business mentor, gave about similar issues:

Strengthen your strong points, do not waste to much time on correcting the weak ones. Concentrate on what you are great at, and develop it. Self-esteem will follow.

thank you and thank you PanteraIM for an interesting comment

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Jason Kanigan

11 years ago

Being told "I'm not interested" on a prospecting call is NOT rejection.

Rejection is being told by your girlfriend of 4 years, "I'm leaving you." (Thankfully that hasn't happened to me). Or your boss firing you because, after a year, it's not working out. Note: NOT because of a layoff.

But this illuminates a huge problem with the calls made by most people: they are trying to SELL right away. You are trying to turn everyone you talk to into a customer. This is wrong. First you want to QUALIFY.

When you qualify, you are looking for Fit. Not trying to sell. Selling comes later, maybe 2-4 minutes later, after the prospect qualifies In.

Also, most calls begin so badly that the prospect is freaked out that they're going to be stuck on the phone for 30 minutes, listening to the features and benefits of aluminum siding, which they don't care two hoots about. So they react by lying: "I'm not interested", "We're taken care of", "I already have someone doing that", "We don't need any help, thank you." Nonsense and 99% lies. NEITHER of you have enough information at that point to know whether it's a fit or not.

But you don't know that, so you take it as personal rejection.

Dumb idea.

Is it personal? Nope, they have no idea who you are. You are just a voice on the phone and your "relationship" began 60 seconds ago.

Is it rejection? No. It can't be, because they don't know you...and you don't know them.

Get a better process to start your calls off correctly, so that there IS a "rest of the call." Find out WHY people buy in your niche--and it isn't because of features & benefits. Learn a consistent sales process so that you know what's going on and where you are in the process.

Most people are too lazy to do these things. even if they understand they exist. So the GREAT NEWS is that if you do, you will be so far ahead of the rest you will have no trouble standing out. You'll start your calls off so differently from the rest, the prospects will be astonished and want to talk to you. Then you can find out if they're a fit or not. Then , if they are a fit, you can sell.

As far as "abuse" goes, I rarely receive any. And when I do, I laugh. It's funny. That's the person who needs help the most--but they just qualified Out on personality fit. Good. I'm GLAD I won't be working with someone who can't control their emotions. And is it personal, what they said? Nope. Neither of us knows the other.

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isosales

11 years ago

What an excellent way to put everything into perspective.

Originally Posted by Jason Kanigan

Being told "I'm not interested" on a prospecting call is NOT rejection.

Rejection is being told by your girlfriend of 4 years, "I'm leaving you." (Thankfully that hasn't happened to me). Or your boss firing you because, after a year, it's not working out. Note: NOT because of a layoff.

But this illuminates a huge problem with the calls made by most people: they are trying to SELL right away. You are trying to turn everyone you talk to into a customer. This is wrong. First you want to QUALIFY.

When you qualify, you are looking for Fit. Not trying to sell. Selling comes later, maybe 2-4 minutes later, after the prospect qualifies In.

Also, most calls begin so badly that the prospect is freaked out that they're going to be stuck on the phone for 30 minutes, listening to the features and benefits of aluminum siding, which they don't care two hoots about. So they react by lying: "I'm not interested", "We're taken care of", "I already have someone doing that", "We don't need any help, thank you." Nonsense and 99% lies. NEITHER of you have enough information at that point to know whether it's a fit or not.

But you don't know that, so you take it as personal rejection.

Dumb idea.

Is it personal? Nope, they have no idea who you are. You are just a voice on the phone and your "relationship" began 60 seconds ago.

Is it rejection? No. It can't be, because they don't know you...and you don't know them.

Get a better process to start your calls off correctly, so that there IS a "rest of the call." Find out WHY people buy in your niche--and it isn't because of features & benefits. Learn a consistent sales process so that you know what's going on and where you are in the process.

Most people are too lazy to do these things. even if they understand they exist. So the GREAT NEWS is that if you do, you will be so far ahead of the rest you will have no trouble standing out. You'll start your calls off so differently from the rest, the prospects will be astonished and want to talk to you. Then you can find out if they're a fit or not. Then , if they are a fit, you can sell.

As far as "abuse" goes, I rarely receive any. And when I do, I laugh. It's funny. That's the person who needs help the most--but they just qualified Out on personality fit. Good. I'm GLAD I won't be working with someone who can't control their emotions. And is it personal, what they said? Nope. Neither of us knows the other.

Thanks
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China Newz 11 years ago

Fear of rejection is natural. You can try to condition yourself to overcome this fear but it will likely always be there a little bit. Surely seasoned actors are always a little nervous before going on stage, or public figures get a jolt of adrenalin every time they deliver a nationally televised speech. Fear is human. Fear is natural. FDR said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself. The thing is everybody is rejected at some point in their life.
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Writerdave

11 years ago

Rejection if well taken helps you work harder and focus your energies on being better

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Claude Whitacre 11 years ago

Rejection never bothered me, because I never took it personally. But I never took success personally either. It was all just part of the process of selling.

What did bother me was the waste of time.

Getting used to rejection? My advice? Make selling pay. Learn how to sell.

It's amazing how $2,000 a week makes you forget about rejection.

And call faster. Making 3 calls in an hour will mean it takes forever to get to a sale...and you'll just be thinking about the "No"s. Call faster. Get busy enough so you only have time to talk, not think about rejection.

At the end of a couple hours, you just be counting your appointments or sales...you won't even remember the "No"s.

Heck. I can't even remember my sales.
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- sebski22 11 years ago
  
  Great post from the OP. I have just spent the last hour watching YouTube videos of Jai and his rejection therapy. It is amazing how well natured most people are if they are approached in a genuine way.
  
  Going slightly off track but I finally tried my 1st morning of Cold Calling the other week...after 12months of putting it off for fear of rejection.
  
  It was great, I didn't get shouted at, made a few good connections and closed one sale the next day at a face to face appointment. What a week!
  
  I overcame my fears of cold calling, got a face to face meeting and closed a sale along with an Upsell all within 2days.
  
  The sad fact is after such great success I am struggling to get back in action...fear of it just been a fluke!
  
  What Claude says make sense to me, just get in there and start calling. The rest will come...I just need to keep reminding myself of this and stay in the game.
  
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- serryjw 11 years ago
  
  Claude, We have all had many versions of this thread on Warrior. I find that if you TARGET prospects well, you can sell with conviction because THEY REALLY do need you!
  
  Thanks
  
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Huskerdarren

11 years ago

Check out the book Go for No.

It's an interesting take on things. Go in expecting no's, make it a game, set a goal for how many no's you can get in a day. In the no's there are always a few yes'$. Gotta do a bit of mining to get to them first.

Thanks

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jsmm

11 years ago

What I do is take the total amount of calls that you do a month then divide that number by the total amount you earn a month and that is what you make every time you do a call no matter if they buy or not .

So say thank you on a yes or a no because you just made money..

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ronaldperks

11 years ago

Just ignore them.

Thanks

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How to get used to rejection

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