Developping rapport

I don't know how expert I am at this;

To me, rapport just means that you are both traveling in the same direction.

It isn't a stage of the sale, it goes all the way through the sale.

If I really don't have an obvious thing in common with the prospect, I'll ask their opinion on something that I think they know about, and then I listen.

Asking an opinion is a huge compliment for most people. Listening to the answer (sometimes I learn quite a lot. And I mean un-sales related) is a huge compliment too.

If they have 20 deer heads mounted, a giant fish on the wall, and 60 guns displayed, my guess is that they are a hunter. I'm not. Not even close.

What I am not going to do is say "Wow, I love hunting...tell me about your hardest kill". He'll know quickly that I'm just trying to "build rapport".

But I might say "What about hunting appeals to you most?"
And then I listen for his relationship with his Dad, his love of the outdoors, a strong Conservative viewpoint...whatever. Now I know what subjects to avoid, and how to sculpt the conversation.

But mostly I talk to business people. So I don't need deep personal rapport. I just need to not kill any rapport that naturally exists.

Most salespeople believe that talking about yourself is a major part of gaining rapport. Nope. Asking a few open ended questions, and genuinely listening to the answer is what rapport is. And now, the prospect has an unconscious desire to listen to you.

How do you talk to someone you genuinely like & respect? Talk like that, and you should be OK.

Added later; On a cold phone call? Just talk like you were talking to someone you already did business with. I think "gaining rapport" is way overblown and misunderstood.... in it's importance.

By the way, a guy cold called me yesterday about loaning my company money (or selling some loan application service)...he was Great! He followed , nearly perfectly Jason Kanigan's method.

I had no interest at all in the proposition, but he kept me on the phone for over a minute. I even let him answer two objections. Expertly done. Forget rapport, buy Jason's WSO.

If your potential customer is prequalified for your product, then you are starting in a good place. Just focus on professional manner and leave personal things at the door. Your potential customer will see it as fake if you try to get overly personal in their life, when they know you are on a sales call.

I have never done a cold call in my life. I prefer to meet them in person, at business mixer or Chamber of Commerce event. Look them in the eye and build trust with them. I also make sure the very first time we connect, I ask them via email, to look at my LinkedIn Profile, which brands me as a leader in my industry. At this point, I would consider setting our first meeting and then asking to close the sale. :-)

Only caring about the money is possibly what is making this hard on yourself.

You want to build authentic empathy with someone in order for them to open up to you. Intending to bag the sale and run is the opposite to building a real relationship and is inherently coming from a place of a lack and scarcity.

You will be needy for the sale, and the other person will be able to sense this intuitively and will turn them off. You need to have the self-trust that they will buy from you and that you are enough while at the same time being detached from the outcome.

This is important for two reasons:

Building an authentic rapport allows you to build the trust necessary to make recommendations.

And secondly it allows you to get inside their head and gives you vital clues on what you need to do to progress.

You need to be attuned to the other person's experience and feelings even when you are talking.

This means having a keen perception of how people are reacting to you. This doesn't mean you should seek a certain reaction or attempt to micro-manage the other person's perception to you. It means you should pay attention to how you are effecting them emotionally and making constant small course adjustments based on the interaction.

It's about engaging the person with hyper-focus, like nothing exists apart from you and the person you are talking to. This exists of course outside of really 'trying', to build rapport, in fact the less you try the more effective you are going to be at getting the other person to open up to you.

A lot of this is about having a depth to your character, not caring about whether you get the sale or if the person likes you. This is what opens up the emotional space for the other person to be authentic with you as well, to get to the root emotional problems that they are facing.

I would readjust your focus to see if there's an opportunity to add value to their situation, and simply enjoy the process of selling. Stop caring about making a sale because you CAN'T CONTROL that.

1. thank them for inviting you in

(most people don't. It also helps to reinforce they wanted to see you)

2. Ask them what they were hoping to achieve from the meeting

(get them talking. people love people who listen to them )

my 2c

I would add that it helps to sell in a niche you enjoy. I talk to tech people all day, and love discussing the cloud, enterprise computing and other tech stuff.

To me, it's exciting to cold call new businesses and learn more about what they do.

My interest and experience comes through, and the conversation flows.

Doesn't always happen, but if you can sell in an area you enjoy, I believe you are a step ahead in building rapport.