The paradigm which makes selling easy.
The problem with being good or learning to be good at selling is that you develop a self-image or an ego that's largely anchored to an outcome. You start to develop neediness or what is called outcome dependency. You get good emotions and feel validated when you do well, and when you don't get the result you expected your self-image crumbles and you can get into a sales slump where it becomes too emotionally painful to keep going.
People that say that they don't feel at least slightly deflated or disappointed are lying to themselves when coming from a self-image paradigm. You feel hurt because you are dependent on other people for validating your fragile identity. You have what's called a product orientation, or in other words the need for permission from other people to experience good emotions within your body.
If you have a self-image to protect or an ego about selling your numbers, and more importantly your self-esteem is going to be all over the place because you aren't in control if someone buys from you or not. Even if you are someone who has devoted their entire lives to business and understanding selling, when does the road end? How good do you need to be to feel completely fulfilled?
When you make your first 100k now you think you're somebody. Because you make so much more than your friends and their friends; you feel good by comparison. But now since your self-image has increased you feel worthy of making friends who are multi-millionaires, so now that's the next shiny object to chase. Now let's say you're out in your new yacht after working insanely hard non-stop for 40 years and you meet people who are billionaires, it feels like what you have worked for your whole life has been diminished in some way because someone is richer than you. Now do you decide to become a billionaire? Where does it stop?
The way out of this is to shift from this self-image and product orientation to something more logical. Something based on taking consistent action which will lead to the result as opposed to chasing the result itself.
When you take so much action and build so much momentum and sincerely enjoy the process of what you are doing it turns off the part of your mind that is constantly checking for threats against your status and self-concept.
Learn to find joy in whatever it is that you're doing that will lead to the outcome. If you don't like selling, get out of this job fast. Because people that don't like selling dislike it because their self-image can't handle the rejection, the worst salespeople take it personally, but even very accomplished salespeople walk around with massive expectations of themselves on their shoulders, just let that go.
Don't draw emotions from how the prospect reacts to you, draw it from the challenge and the act of selling.
People that say that they don't feel at least slightly deflated or disappointed are lying to themselves when coming from a self-image paradigm. You feel hurt because you are dependent on other people for validating your fragile identity. You have what's called a product orientation, or in other words the need for permission from other people to experience good emotions within your body.
If you have a self-image to protect or an ego about selling your numbers, and more importantly your self-esteem is going to be all over the place because you aren't in control if someone buys from you or not. Even if you are someone who has devoted their entire lives to business and understanding selling, when does the road end? How good do you need to be to feel completely fulfilled?
When you make your first 100k now you think you're somebody. Because you make so much more than your friends and their friends; you feel good by comparison. But now since your self-image has increased you feel worthy of making friends who are multi-millionaires, so now that's the next shiny object to chase. Now let's say you're out in your new yacht after working insanely hard non-stop for 40 years and you meet people who are billionaires, it feels like what you have worked for your whole life has been diminished in some way because someone is richer than you. Now do you decide to become a billionaire? Where does it stop?
The way out of this is to shift from this self-image and product orientation to something more logical. Something based on taking consistent action which will lead to the result as opposed to chasing the result itself.
When you take so much action and build so much momentum and sincerely enjoy the process of what you are doing it turns off the part of your mind that is constantly checking for threats against your status and self-concept.
Learn to find joy in whatever it is that you're doing that will lead to the outcome. If you don't like selling, get out of this job fast. Because people that don't like selling dislike it because their self-image can't handle the rejection, the worst salespeople take it personally, but even very accomplished salespeople walk around with massive expectations of themselves on their shoulders, just let that go.
Don't draw emotions from how the prospect reacts to you, draw it from the challenge and the act of selling.
What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
What if they're not stars? What if they are holes poked in the top of a container so we can breath?
you cant hold no groove if you ain't got no pocket.