Programmer's Night Before Christmas

by 8 comments
'Twas the night before implementation and all through the house,
not a program was working not even a browse.
The programmers hung by their tubes in despair,
with hopes that a miracle would soon be there.

The users were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of inquiries danced in their heads.
When out in the machine room there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a super programmer (with a six-pack of beer).
His resume glowed with experience so rare,
he turned out great code with a bit-pusher's flair.

More rapid than eagles, his programs they came,
On update! on add! on inquiry! on delete!
on batch jobs! on closing! on functions complete!
His eyes were glazed-over, fingers nimble and lean,
from weekends and nights in front of a screen.

A wink of his eye, and a twitch of his head,
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
turning specs into code; then turned with a jerk;

And laying his finger upon the "ENTER" key,
the systems came up and worked perfectly.
The updates updated; the deletes, they deleted;
the inquiries inquired, and closings completed.

He tested each whistle, and tested each bell,
with nary an abend, and all had gone well.
The system was finished, the tests were concluded.
The users' last changes were even included.

And the user exclaimed with a snarl and a taunt,
"It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"
#programming #christmas #night #programmer

  • Profile picture of the author Kate Davies
    Absolutely brilliant!
  • Profile picture of the author Tim Brownlaw
    That brought a smile... thanks.

    That last line is quoted too many times by clients and my wife!
    "It's just what I asked for, but not what I want!"
    Might be what my kids say after the present opening is done and dusted...

    Tim
  • Profile picture of the author bluntpeak
    You just made my night! Thanks
  • Profile picture of the author TrafficMystic
    cool.. got me just in the mood for xmas thanks
  • Profile picture of the author SilverCosmos
    Sorry I didn't see this earlier - great code! The last 2 lines should be known to every programmer!
  • Profile picture of the author Mr. Enthusiastic
    Ho ho ho! Thank you! Up until the last line I thought the super-programmer would disappear without a trace in the next update...
  • Profile picture of the author customertools
    LOVE IT!, wish I saw it on xmas.

    -Brad
  • Profile picture of the author milo_pl
    Haha...great! Where do we know this all from...

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