Choosing keyword phrases

As an article writer, this drives me nuts, and I just want to make a point.

We're all familiar with LSI, right? It's the system all the search engines use to make sure your content is actually good, and not just a bunch of gibberish. If you want to rank well, you have to "beat" this filter by... well, not putting up gibberish as content.

So here's the big problem.

If your keyword phrase is gibberish, you lose.

I have had a number of requests in recent orders to optimise for specific keyword phrases like this (not an actual keyword phrase, but similar):

monkey banana feeding
buy monkey pet

Now, the way I optimise for keywords - the way ANYONE optimises for keywords - is to use it in a sentence so it appears to be part of the flow of the article. And you slip this in for search engines by using punctuation, to break it up and make it feel natural:

"There are many foods you can use to feed your monkey. Banana feeding is a common choice..."

But once you've done that, what else can you do? And the second phrase is just impossible:

"There are many pets you can buy. Monkey pet - uh, wait, what?"

"Everyone wants to buy monkey. Pet stores - no, that's terrible."

It's not just about how your keyword phrase looks in the keyword analysis. Yeah, maybe "buy monkey pet" gets a lot of searches and has low competition... but think about what the hell you're doing, okay? Think about how your keyword phrase sounds in a sentence. If you're ordering articles for your SEO efforts, please make sure your keyword phrase is coherent English, because the LSI filter undoubtedly notices stuff like this.