Critique my FB personal message to prospects
I'm doing some very basic social media marketing for a student club I'm starting at my university.
I have a FB group page with a professional info video designed to inspire audience to join the club.
I'm directing traffic to our group page by finding prospects that go to my school and sending them a personal message telling them about the club with a link to the group page.
I want your critique on my message. This is obviously the first thing they see and I've found that the more personal messages get more hits.
Here is my current cold call FB message.
Hey (Name)! I'm starting UWF's newest student organization "The Iron Knight Experience". You're in the UWF Gym FB group and I think you might be interested in our mission "Become the strongest version of yourself". If you want you can learn more here: [link to our group page with info video on autoplay] |
If you need more background info I'll be happy to share.
Thanks for you time.
-Robert
American Business Awards: Named one of their "Marketers of the Year"
Plus: A Bunch of Other Awards and Media Placements
Whatever.
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