Please review my site!

[bigladbob]

High guys, it's us again, itching for a review. All we're looking for is a critique of our web-site, and any advice it may glean. We're not list-building from here, but are willing to offer a freebie to anyone who can help. Our web-site is www.ulcer-remedies.com, and if you want the freebie, a swine flu report, my personal e-mail address is bob0643@tiscali.co.uk.

[edesimusic]

hmm nice informative website

[bigladbob]

Thanks for that!

[wholesale]

Maybe put a video on the site which will give them more information. Some people are lazy. Very nice site I like it

[loenex]

Maybe summarized more the information. Used bulleted list to make it shorter.

[bigladbob]

Originally Posted by wholesale

Maybe put a video on the site which will give them more information. Some people are lazy. Very nice site I like it

Thank you, very constructive, we're working on it.

[bigladbob]

Originally Posted by loenex

Maybe summarized more the information. Used bulleted list to make it shorter.

We tried that on the initial set-up but decided it lacked punch, and appeared too formal, but thanks for the input, and appreciate your comments!

[Emma Lindsay]

Just tried to load it, just got the header and the headline then nothing?

[bigladbob]

May be a problem your end, it loads beautifully elsewhere. Please try again!

[MarkAndrews IMCopywriting]

Oakey doakey, well, I just read through
your sales copy from the beginning to
the end, hopefully you'll take this
constructive criticism in the way
that it is intended, which ultimately
is to help you.

This sales copy, by any stretch of the
imagination is awful in almost every
respect.

You break near every single rule of
copywriting.

Frankly, there is almost too much going
on here that is so extraordinarily wrong
with this sales copy, that it's rather
difficult to tell you where to begin.

If you want my honest advice, it's better
to scrap it altogether and start all over
again.

Your headline contains no benefit.

There is too much about you scattered
throughout the first portion of the copy
itself. I this. I that. I something else. It's
not entirely about you, it's about what
your book can do for your website visitors
that matters. Remember they will be asking
in their mind as they read this, "What is in
this for me?" You need to answer that
question.

Your bullet points are terrible. They should
be emphasising nothing but benefits, nothing
else whatsoever.

You also at times go off on tangents relating
this, that and the other that bears absolutely
no reference whatsoever to the key benefits
of the product.

Anyone reading this sales letter will indeed
believe that the product on the other side,
which they would receive after making
payment, (if they were to do so), is just
as awful as the content that they are reading.
And that, if they actually made it all the way
down to the bottom of the page (something
which I doubt most people will do).

Lamblasting the conventional integrity of
very experienced copywriters as you do,
is committing product suicide with regards
to your offer. You do not know best how
to sell this product. You may think it
sounds / comes across absolutely brilliantly
but let me assure you that quite the opposite
is in fact the case. I make no apology for
setting you straight on that point.

Breaking near every copywriting rule, you
are simply completely undermining your own
product.

You do not tell people to 'buy' something.
Use the word 'invest instead. You do not
associate or reference the word 'scam' in
your sales copy, that will not lend anything
to your credibility. You want people to
trust you, not distrust your words.

Also you are clearly not a medical
practicioner, therefore offering medical
advice is in actual fact quite a dangerous
area to be in. Why should anyone trust
you over an experienced medical
practicioner in this field? Your testimonials
displayed are next to useless in building
up your credibility in this case.

I could go on and on and on.

My advice, scrap it, bin it, start over again
but only after acquainting yourself with the
rudimentary rules of writing effective sales
copy.

If you do not do so, this will be a great
deal of wasted effort on your part and will
be akin to pouring money and time straight
down the drain.

Your best bet believe you me to hire a
copywriter to redo this entire piece for you.
It will save you time, it will reach more people,
if your guide is that good, the result will be
that it will help more individuals suffering from
this condition and finally, it will put more
money in your pocket.

Don't get giving me that utter tosh that you
don't want to sell as many copies of this as
possible.

You've got a lot of work to do with this
piece before it's even halfway there to
being what could be called decent.

I hope you take this advice and use it
constructively.

Best of luck, you're going to need it.


Mark Andrews...

[bigladbob]

Originally Posted by MarkAndrews IMCopywriting

Oakey doakey, well, I just read through
your sales copy from the beginning to
the end, hopefully you'll take this
constructive criticism in the way
that it is intended, which ultimately
is to help you.

This sales copy, by any stretch of the
imagination is awful in almost every
respect.

You break near every single rule of
copywriting.

Frankly, there is almost too much going
on here that is so extraordinarily wrong
with this sales copy, that it's rather
difficult to tell you where to begin.

If you want my honest advice, it's better
to scrap it altogether and start all over
again.

Your headline contains no benefit.

There is too much about you scattered
throughout the first portion of the copy
itself. I this. I that. I something else. It's
not entirely about you, it's about what
your book can do for your website visitors
that matters. Remember they will be asking
in their mind as they read this, "What is in
this for me?" You need to answer that
question.

Your bullet points are terrible. They should
be emphasising nothing but benefits, nothing
else whatsoever.

You also at times go off on tangents relating
this, that and the other that bears absolutely
no reference whatsoever to the key benefits
of the product.

Anyone reading this sales letter will indeed
believe that the product on the other side,
which they would receive after making
payment, (if they were to do so), is just
as awful as the content that they are reading.
And that, if they actually made it all the way
down to the bottom of the page (something
which I doubt most people will do).

Lamblasting the conventional integrity of
very experienced copywriters as you do,
is committing product suicide with regards
to your offer. You do not know best how
to sell this product. You may think it
sounds / comes across absolutely brilliantly
but let me assure you that quite the opposite
is in fact the case. I make no apology for
setting you straight on that point.

Breaking near every copywriting rule, you
are simply completely undermining your own
product.

You do not tell people to 'buy' something.
Use the word 'invest instead. You do not
associate or reference the word 'scam' in
your sales copy, that will not lend anything
to your credibility. You want people to
trust you, not distrust your words.

Also you are clearly not a medical
practicioner, therefore offering medical
advice is in actual fact quite a dangerous
area to be in. Why should anyone trust
you over an experienced medical
practicioner in this field? Your testimonials
displayed are next to useless in building
up your credibility in this case.

I could go on and on and on.

My advice, scrap it, bin it, start over again
but only after acquainting yourself with the
rudimentary rules of writing effective sales
copy.

If you do not do so, this will be a great
deal of wasted effort on your part and will
be akin to pouring money and time straight
down the drain.

Your best bet believe you me to hire a
copywriter to redo this entire piece for you.
It will save you time, it will reach more people,
if your guide is that good, the result will be
that it will help more individuals suffering from
this condition and finally, it will put more
money in your pocket.

Don't get giving me that utter tosh that you
don't want to sell as many copies of this as
possible.

You've got a lot of work to do with this
piece before it's even halfway there to
being what could be called decent.

I hope you take this advice and use it
constructively.

Best of luck, you're going to need it.


Mark Andrews...

Thanks for your comments, they have been noted. You might like to check spelling e.g "lambasting" and "practitioner" for your future comments. This is our first experience of on-line flaming.

[Tom Harvey]

Generally informative but a bit lengthy (but I have a little ADD). Crisp and clean and addresses a problem that millions, (including me) have.

Wish you success

[mr877]

its certainly somthing which I can never make yet so congrats on that but the only thing i could suggest to you as a newbie is that make the buy now button a little bigger.