Please review my site!

[bigladbob]

High guys, it's us again, itching for a review. All we're looking for is a critique of our web-site, and any advice it may glean. We're not list-building from here, but are willing to offer a freebie to anyone who can help. Our web-site is www.ulcer-remedies.com, and if you want the freebie, a swine flu report, my personal e-mail address is bob0643@tiscali.co.uk.

[edesimusic]

hmm nice informative website

[bigladbob]

Thanks for that!

[wholesale]

Maybe put a video on the site which will give them more information. Some people are lazy. Very nice site I like it

[loenex]

Maybe summarized more the information. Used bulleted list to make it shorter.

[bigladbob]

Originally Posted by wholesale

Maybe put a video on the site which will give them more information. Some people are lazy. Very nice site I like it

Thank you, very constructive, we're working on it.

[bigladbob]

Originally Posted by loenex

Maybe summarized more the information. Used bulleted list to make it shorter.

We tried that on the initial set-up but decided it lacked punch, and appeared too formal, but thanks for the input, and appreciate your comments!

[Emma Lindsay]

Just tried to load it, just got the header and the headline then nothing?

[bigladbob]

May be a problem your end, it loads beautifully elsewhere. Please try again!

[bigladbob]

Originally Posted by MarkAndrews IMCopywriting

Oakey doakey, well, I just read through
your sales copy from the beginning to
the end, hopefully you'll take this
constructive criticism in the way
that it is intended, which ultimately
is to help you.

This sales copy, by any stretch of the
imagination is awful in almost every
respect.

You break near every single rule of
copywriting.

Frankly, there is almost too much going
on here that is so extraordinarily wrong
with this sales copy, that it's rather
difficult to tell you where to begin.

If you want my honest advice, it's better
to scrap it altogether and start all over
again.

Your headline contains no benefit.

There is too much about you scattered
throughout the first portion of the copy
itself. I this. I that. I something else. It's
not entirely about you, it's about what
your book can do for your website visitors
that matters. Remember they will be asking
in their mind as they read this, "What is in
this for me?" You need to answer that
question.

Your bullet points are terrible. They should
be emphasising nothing but benefits, nothing
else whatsoever.

You also at times go off on tangents relating
this, that and the other that bears absolutely
no reference whatsoever to the key benefits
of the product.

Anyone reading this sales letter will indeed
believe that the product on the other side,
which they would receive after making
payment, (if they were to do so), is just
as awful as the content that they are reading.
And that, if they actually made it all the way
down to the bottom of the page (something
which I doubt most people will do).

Lamblasting the conventional integrity of
very experienced copywriters as you do,
is committing product suicide with regards
to your offer. You do not know best how
to sell this product. You may think it
sounds / comes across absolutely brilliantly
but let me assure you that quite the opposite
is in fact the case. I make no apology for
setting you straight on that point.

Breaking near every copywriting rule, you
are simply completely undermining your own
product.

You do not tell people to 'buy' something.
Use the word 'invest instead. You do not
associate or reference the word 'scam' in
your sales copy, that will not lend anything
to your credibility. You want people to
trust you, not distrust your words.

Also you are clearly not a medical
practicioner, therefore offering medical
advice is in actual fact quite a dangerous
area to be in. Why should anyone trust
you over an experienced medical
practicioner in this field? Your testimonials
displayed are next to useless in building
up your credibility in this case.

I could go on and on and on.

My advice, scrap it, bin it, start over again
but only after acquainting yourself with the
rudimentary rules of writing effective sales
copy.

If you do not do so, this will be a great
deal of wasted effort on your part and will
be akin to pouring money and time straight
down the drain.

Your best bet believe you me to hire a
copywriter to redo this entire piece for you.
It will save you time, it will reach more people,
if your guide is that good, the result will be
that it will help more individuals suffering from
this condition and finally, it will put more
money in your pocket.

Don't get giving me that utter tosh that you
don't want to sell as many copies of this as
possible.

You've got a lot of work to do with this
piece before it's even halfway there to
being what could be called decent.

I hope you take this advice and use it
constructively.

Best of luck, you're going to need it.


Mark Andrews...

Thanks for your comments, they have been noted. You might like to check spelling e.g "lambasting" and "practitioner" for your future comments. This is our first experience of on-line flaming.

[Tom Harvey]

Generally informative but a bit lengthy (but I have a little ADD). Crisp and clean and addresses a problem that millions, (including me) have.

Wish you success

[mr877]

its certainly somthing which I can never make yet so congrats on that but the only thing i could suggest to you as a newbie is that make the buy now button a little bigger.

[Maddi]

Hey Biglad.

Seen your website and been through the comments on this thread. If thats your first ever website I must say you've done well. However, you realize yourself that there is room or ( a lot of) improvement.
A change in the font in header and a catchy title would help greatly. The first impression is neither professional nor friendly. It has to be one of the two I think. I'd rather say Its kind of amateurish. If worked on a little ( and I emphasize only a little) It will look great. You may wanna do a bit a change in your graphics for buy now button and actually you know what, I just realized you haven't got graphic for your book. Now I know its an eBook and not an actual book but just having the graphic of you eBook cover on the page really gets the reader going.

Tip: get a freelancer to do your graphics and It will be quite productive and really cheap if you look at the right place. The warrior forum itself has quite a few designers who are willing to work for as low as $50 onwards depending on what you need done.

The niche that you have chosen is quite directed and has huge potential. If done properly and invested a little upon It can turn out to be a great money making website.

Hope you find it helpful.
Regards.

Maddi

[Liane Fitzpatrick]

Good site, nice layout. I would change the background graphics at the top as it makes the doctors hand look very weird. It needs a video, preferrable someone in a white lab coat. I found the text to be a bit long and needing a visual change, like possible indented bulleting with info. I like the testimonials. Good luck!

[Zyley]

Nice website. Quite readable. Good natural photos.

[jaiganeshv]

Pls see some sales pages and select if your site is going to be with full of eye catchy graphics or simple design. this doesnt fall into either of the category honestly..

I did not see the content which may be great!!

[art_]

Very nice web !

[smsdude]

you got a nice web man

[NyceGuy]

You wanna us a 'cooler' background? The white glare from the white background is a constant distraction. How about something like a fading sky blue, paler or something of the sort?

[automarketting]

hey that's a nice decent informative website .
thanks for sharing ue webpage

[BeautyMade-EZ]

Greetings,
There's nothing on the site that makes my eye draw to any specific point on the page. I understand your not list building but the site it self looks unofficial and very template driven. Your buy button isn't big enough and there aren't any secure seals, or verified logos on the page to assure the visitor it's a secure site. It looks like you copied your text and plopped it into a bad template. Overall if I saw this site I wouldn't give it the time of day. Not because of you but how the message is being presented.

With SO much IM'ers out there I think you have to give you prospect as much assurance as possible to build trust and security first. Sell the Click! There's nothing on the site that's telling me to click. Just some information and a buy button. Anyway that's what I think. I'll email you personally if your interested in getting templates that convert and crush!

Thanks:
John and Sarah

[tmnsky]

BIG BUY BUTTON! NOW!

Other than that, get more creative with formatting!

[realstorm]

Nice design, I love it.

[CMCarlin]

I read the whole thing straight through before reading the comments here. The language you have is very readable and relate-able. I do agree with some posters here on some points. While other points I'm not sure of, but I'm not a professional copywriter so....

anyway, I am in sales, and I agree with the point of not referring to 'buy my book'. The term invest is much better. The 'buy' button could be bigger. I think you should also remove some of the content in there that refers to how other sales pages mislead you.

I think you may be targeting a demographic that may be skeptical right off the bat from buying online, so that is why you are trying to build that trust by saying hey, we are not like everyone else, correct? I understand this but I do not think you need so much of this type of content.

You definitely need more benefit building. Think 'emotional reason to get better'. As a long time ulcer sufferer, get the prospect to think about their pain and how much it is holding them back.

Overall, as I was reading it, I liked the language, but reading some comments here from more experienced internet marketers made me think twice. regardless, most people aren't experienced internet marketers and so long as you can connect to your target prospect, I think it will win.

In the end however, it's all about testing. remember to do A|B split test and such!

good luck with everything!

also, I liked the clean and crisp look....

[desmondchui]

good website with good info

pull in some click bank product, can gain some income

[scartego]

Good info, I would also suggest making the "buy Now" button bigger.

[ionsysproject2]

hmm, never thought of that before, maybe I should have a deeper research done on that, review my site.

[tuvanluat]

wow. i did it

[David Mintzer]

I have read some of the info on your website and I like it. I would never have thought much about ulcers. I would say they are probaly caused by stress in one's life. Its good you can offer a solution to their problem. Its about going deep inside ourselfs and to relax in our happy place of the mind.

[AlexeyP]

Originally Posted by bigladbob

Thanks for your comments, they have been noted. You might like to check spelling e.g "lambasting" and "practitioner" for your future comments. This is our first experience of on-line flaming.

testing quote

[Bennie Burch]

I liked your website, It addresses a common problem and should sell well.
One thing i didn't see was a Paypal button.I and many others only buy thru
PayPal because of the ease of refunds and safety.

Good job

Bennie

[sevamaster]

I do not like it, but it is only my opinion.

[WebSolutionKey]

Good informative site!!! But, work on background graphic as well. Usually people buy such products from well established site. So bring up good looks for your site to match their dignity.

It would be fine if you display the BUY NOW tab somewhere in the top below your picture or very next to testimonials. Because, many people have less patience to scroll down to read till the end of the page /till they see BUY NOW tab and they may end up without buying your product despite of their interest in it.

Add up some interesting stuffs to attract the visitors so that they don't go out of your page as soon as they enter. Use "hot discounts with limited offers" and similar stuffs so that customer buys the product in urge without a second thought.

Regards,
Paul

[Tony Marriott]

It's great that you have got as far as producing a product and getting it to market. that's a long way ahead of most would be marketers. - well done!
Personally I do get bored going through some of the long sales letters regardless of the quality. I do have a short attention span though, but when they are very long I get the impression they are trying to wear me down rather than sell to me. That being said many of the top products use exactly this so it must work in the majority of cases.

That is the secret I think. You need to follow what's proven to work and used by others. That way you get the majority of people on board.

Some people will always hate your site, or any site. You can't please all the people all of the time....someone once said!

I know you felt a bit 'attacked' by Mark but look at the facts logically. From Mark's posts and thanks alone he is around 50 times more qualified than anyone else who has commented, including me. He also seems to be the only copywriting 'expert' who has commented. These fact alone mean you should listen to what he has to say.

My advice for what it is worth would be to do what I would do in your shoes. Pay a copywriter. I am convinced that you will reap far more than it cost you to do that.

Truth is when it comes to sales the product almost doesn't matter. The sales copy does 95% of the work. I would be willing to bet my boots (and more) that every professional
internet marketer pays someone else to produce their sales page.


My personal thoughts are
make the buy buttons stand out more (not necessarily bigger)
Get some book graphics included (consider paying a graphic expert to theme/brand the whole page.

You need to highlight the benefits and NOT the features of any product. People buy for the benefits and not the feature – apparently!

You may want to reconsider your swine flu giveaway. Would you not be better offering something related to ulcers?. That's what's in the mind of people who have found your site so I would expect a higher take up for ulcer related material.



Good luck with your site and your book

[danto2]

Nice Website. I like it!

[shafiqamiami]

wow great site.

[Menny]

Originally Posted by wholesale

Maybe put a video on the site which will give them more information. Some people are lazy. Very nice site I like it

This is a good Idea. I wouldn`t put too much information only what is needed and a video. All Qestions coming from the video lead to a FAQ site. That should do the job. Your page is very clean and nice though!
Cheers

[Luka]

i have to say, really nice 9/10

[warrior4life]

Nice website! However, I'll suggest that you put up a video on top of the page and an opt-in page(you should capture your visitor's email addresses right there) to your newsletter somewhere in the middle of your web page. Hope this will help.

[Mattiyu]

Hi bigladbob, a few things I would suggest to you,
First - I would put up a privacy policy page as well as a disclaimer and terms of use page and put their links to it on your sales page.

Secondly - just be aware of the new ftc guidelines regarding testimonials and make certain you have that in order.

Best of success to you with your product.

[HealthBuff]

Hello there

Check your web site here for errors.

The W3C Markup Validation Service

With best wishes for your success.

[warriordave]

Heyy the website is nice but one thing has been bugging me, are you using only images in that site? isn't that non seo friendly?

[simmo28]

tes test test test test test test test test test test test test