Just posted my first blog last night, can you take a look?

41 replies
  • WEB DESIGN
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Hey all,

Looking for some constructive criticism on my first blog.

Would be awesome to hear some comments, looking to improve writing style!

Thanks Warriors...

Flat Broke To Family Freedom | Re-routing My Family History in 2.5 Years
#blog #night
  • Profile picture of the author Brent Stangel
    Yet another one page blog...
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    Get Off The Warrior Forum Now & Don't Come Back If You Want To Succeed!
    All The Real Marketers Are Gone. There's Nothing Left But Weak, Sniveling Wanna-Bees!
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  • What would you suggest Brent?

    Thanks for the honesty...

    I have just managed to get my About page to display, maybe you could check it out again??
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  • Profile picture of the author TeKn1qu3z
    Nice blog post on the first topic to have such a beautiful lines. You can go ahead to write more topics in financial and family problems.
    Do you make money with this blog?
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  • Profile picture of the author SchoolofKA
    I would darken the type just a little so it's easier to read. Not enough contrast with dark grey on light grey bg.
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    School of Kick A** | Make Money Like a Hustler [COMING SOON!]
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  • Profile picture of the author Evan H
    The important thing is that you got started so congratulations to you for taking action!

    With blogging it is super important that you remain persistent and consistent when it comes to creating and publishing content...

    The more content you put out there, the more eyeballs you will eventually get to your blog (assuming your SEO is decent and content is engaging and fresh)

    Remember that blogging is more of a long-term approach but you can start receiving great traffic with commitment and patience...

    Good luck and keep us posted!
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    Powerful Blogging & SEO related content published weekly...Follow the journey here: EvanHoeflichMarketing.com
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  • Thanks guys, I am not making money from the blog yet, however it is the plan when I release my eBook, Audio and Video content to use this as a platform to sell those.

    I shall darken the text too so that it is clearer to read, good shout!

    Evan H, I will most certainly continue with commitment and persistence and put out as much content as possible.

    What would you guys recommend I post per week? 2,3 or more??

    Cheers Again
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    • Profile picture of the author Evan H
      Originally Posted by choosetheleadingdomino View Post

      Thanks guys, I am not making money from the blog yet, however it is the plan when I release my eBook, Audio and Video content to use this as a platform to sell those.

      I shall darken the text too so that it is clearer to read, good shout!

      Evan H, I will most certainly continue with commitment and persistence and put out as much content as possible.

      What would you guys recommend I post per week? 2,3 or more??

      Cheers Again
      I try to post at least 3 times a week, sometimes it's only once a week when I'm really busy...

      But I would at the very least, make 1 solid blog post a week (also creating a YouTube video with your posts is great for SEO)

      When you consistently publish content it "pings" the search engines and gives your site more authority...Just keep blogging away!
      Signature
      Powerful Blogging & SEO related content published weekly...Follow the journey here: EvanHoeflichMarketing.com
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  • Profile picture of the author newideamarketing
    Banned
    add lots more content
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  • Profile picture of the author CPABeyondNetwork
    Its good for start, try to add bit more content on it! About page, contact page, some more details.


    Best regards,


    Nikola,

    CPA Beyond
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    AM at CPA Beyond - #1 Private Network - Daily Payments (No Fees)

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  • Profile picture of the author Vince Mosweta
    Its an awesome start, I also started blogging recently and so far so good. I have been posting at least once a day but will be increasing this.

    I know its not an easy thing especially giving quality content always.. Its challenging but as they say, Nothing good comes easy!

    Great stuff continue adding value, soon we will be there.. Feel free to visit mine mylifemychoiceonline.co

    Regards
    Vin
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  • Profile picture of the author TaniasMoney
    Great way to start. Add more topics as you go and maybe start some link building, external and internal that is.

    Way to go!
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    • Profile picture of the author Steve B
      You're off to a good start. I like the clean, uncluttered format of your theme.

      I think your header is too large. I would cut it down to 1/3 or 1/4 the size and make it interesting instead of out-of-focus pages of a book. What is the significance of that? The top of the page is prime real estate and you're wasting it right now.

      Ditto for the picture in your post - reduce the size by 1/2 then wrap your text around it so that it enhances your words.

      There are many grammatical and punctuation mistakes in your post. If you don't know what they are, I would suggest your get a proofreader to help you.

      Where is your list building subscriber opt-in form?

      What if someone needs help on your site? Where is your contact form?

      Where are your privacy policy and terms of service located? (You need them to protect you and your subscribers)

      Keep at it and be persistent over time. When you choose to blog (if done correctly) you commit to a long term effort.

      Keep it up!

      Steve
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      Steve Browne, online business strategies, tips, guidance, and resources
      SteveBrowneDirect

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      • Profile picture of the author CapnWillard
        Originally Posted by Steve B View Post

        You're off to a good start. I like the clean, uncluttered format of your theme.

        I think your header is too large. I would cut it down to 1/3 or 1/4 the size and make it interesting instead of out-of-focus pages of a book. What is the significance of that? The top of the page is prime real estate and you're wasting it right now.

        Ditto for the picture in your post - reduce the size by 1/2 then wrap your text around it so that it enhances your words.

        There are many grammatical and punctuation mistakes in your post. If you don't know what they are, I would suggest your get a proofreader to help you.

        Where is your list building subscriber opt-in form?

        What if someone needs help on your site? Where is your contact form?

        Where are your privacy policy and terms of service located? (You need them to protect you and your subscribers)

        Keep at it and be persistent over time. When you choose to blog (if done correctly) you commit to a long term effort.

        Keep it up!

        Steve

        I'm here to echo Steve! (on a few things, anyway) The header seemed a bit big to me too, but it degrades nice in this responsive theme. Still, I'd decrease it by at least 20%, maybe more.

        Get yourself a Privacy Policy (free, just enter your info)
        Privacy Policy Online » Privacy policy generator, TOS generator, privacy resources…

        And a TOS of your own
        Privacy Policy / Terms Of Service Generator

        I recommend going in to both, and editing them as you see fit (different sentence structure, removing words, changing tense, etc.). At this stage of the game your site is pretty new and doesn't have much traction with Google anyway, but you don't want to give Google reasons to penalize you for duplicate content, and using TOS or Privacy Policy generators [and not customizing the content] at least a little, is a good way to suddenly have content that appears copied, to Google. So make em' happy by having each of these pages, but then go the extra mile and augment them just a bit.
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        • Originally Posted by CapnWillard View Post

          I'm here to echo Steve! (on a few things, anyway) The header seemed a bit big to me too, but it degrades nice in this responsive theme. Still, I'd decrease it by at least 20%, maybe more.

          Get yourself a Privacy Policy (free, just enter your info)
          Privacy Policy Online » Privacy policy generator, TOS generator, privacy resources...

          And a TOS of your own
          Privacy Policy / Terms Of Service Generator

          I recommend going in to both, and editing them as you see fit (different sentence structure, removing words, changing tense, etc.). At this stage of the game your site is pretty new and doesn't have much traction with Google anyway, but you don't want to give Google reasons to penalize you for duplicate content, and using TOS or Privacy Policy generators [and not customizing the content] at least a little, is a good way to suddenly have content that appears copied, to Google. So make em' happy by having each of these pages, but then go the extra mile and augment them just a bit.
          Thanks for this CapnWillard, how do I go about having this privacy policy on my site? I have created one on each site and am in the process of making slight tweaks.
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          • Profile picture of the author CapnWillard
            Originally Posted by choosetheleadingdomino View Post

            Thanks for this CapnWillard, how do I go about having this privacy policy on my site? I have created one on each site and am in the process of making slight tweaks.

            choosetheleadingdomino - apologies; I completely abandoned this thread / by accident.

            Once you generate a new privacy policy, you should be able to just open Wordpress Dashboard, create a new page and paste it in.

            Good Luck with your site!
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  • Profile picture of the author kk075
    I hated that bolded line, "The Rich Control the Poor" for so many reasons. I've been poor and NOBODY controlled me but myself, and it was my dedication to changing my circumstances that made a difference. Because the fact of the matter is, everyone has the opportunity to do better in life and become more successful.

    If they're going to waste time sitting around and finding people to blame for their situations though, then you've already given up.
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    Learn to sell like a pro through Web Synergy's marketing blog.

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    • Profile picture of the author onSubie
      Originally Posted by kk075 View Post

      I hated that bolded line, "The Rich Control the Poor" for so many reasons.
      I agree. Although it strikes a chord in his target market it is a little blunt and has some bad connotations. I think better would be:

      The Super Rich Control the Masses
      The Super Rich Control You
      The Super Rich Control Their Own Destiny

      But I think in general abdicating control to "the Super Rich" isn't a good mindset to give your customers. You want to give them hope and motivation, not make them feel like they are battling an omniscient force.

      Except maybe that last one. It could be something like:

      The Super Rich Control their own destiny. Let us show you how to control yours.

      So you are selling the 'dream' of controlling their own destiny and tying it to being 'Super Rich'. The subconscious connection being you are going to show them how to be Super Rich in order to control their own destiny.

      You want to build a relationship that leads to them buying from you.

      Also, I think the stock image in the 1st article is very poor. Look for something that better sums up the point of the article.

      You can also use a free banner maker or Gimp if you don't have Photoshop and make a graphic the dimensions of the image you want.

      Also- a correction in your first article:

      “money is the route of all evil”

      It is actually "the root of all evil", meaning the beginning or base, not "route" meaning the way to. And it's "the love of money is the root of all evil", not money itself.

      Edit: And change your favicon. It's the Hostgator Alligator right now. It looks like a broken or parked page when it is hidden behind other tabs in my browser.
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      • Originally Posted by onSubie View Post

        I agree. Although it strikes a chord in his target market it is a little blunt and has some bad connotations. I think better would be:

        The Super Rich Control the Masses
        The Super Rich Control You
        The Super Rich Control Their Own Destiny

        But I think in general abdicating control to "the Super Rich" isn't a good mindset to give your customers. You want to give them hope and motivation, not make them feel like they are battling an omniscient force.

        Except maybe that last one. It could be something like:

        The Super Rich Control their own destiny. Let us show you how to control yours.

        So you are selling the 'dream' of controlling their own destiny and tying it to being 'Super Rich'. The subconscious connection being you are going to show them how to be Super Rich in order to control their own destiny.

        You want to build a relationship that leads to them buying from you.

        Also, I think the stock image in the 1st article is very poor. Look for something that better sums up the point of the article.

        You can also use a free banner maker or Gimp if you don't have Photoshop and make a graphic the dimensions of the image you want.

        Also- a correction in your first article:

        "money is the route of all evil"

        It is actually "the root of all evil", meaning the beginning or base, not "route" meaning the way to. And it's "the love of money is the root of all evil", not money itself.

        Edit: And change your favicon. It's the Hostgator Alligator right now. It looks like a broken or parked page when it is hidden behind other tabs in my browser.
        Thank you very much for your constructive criticism, THIS is exactly what I was hoping for...



        Could you take another look, I have started to make slight adaptations? Thank you once again.

        The 2 Types Of Money Problems | Flat Broke To Family Freedom
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        • Profile picture of the author onSubie
          Originally Posted by choosetheleadingdomino View Post


          Could you take another look, I have started to make slight adaptations? Thank you once again.

          The 2 Types Of Money Problems | Flat Broke To Family Freedom
          Well, seeing as you are the 1 out of 100 to actually try some advice and come back to the thread... LOL

          That's much better.

          THE SUPER RICH CONTROL THEIR OWN DESTINY, JOIN US TO CONTROL YOURS!

          We believe that money is a game, a game in which the super rich hold all the aces and play to win. We believe that they win by making us afraid to lose, the lack of financial education in schools proves this. At Flat Broke to Family Freedom our job is to teach you how to play the game, how to beat the rich at their own game and WIN BIG!
          The game analogy, though cliche, is pretty good as it ties in well with your USP.

          I was going to say something about your articles. There is another thread about a new blog with the same problems.

          You need to realize that you are writing for a purpose. If you are in a "make money niche" like MMO, Weight Loss, Fitness or Personal Development (as you are) then the purpose of your writing is to MAKE MONEY.

          Not necessarily immediately or directly but it should aim to accomplish something that leads to that goal: an opt-in, a sale, a share, whatever.

          That means creating quality content that engages, raises an issue or question, provides information or an answer followed by a call to action.

          A call to action is important at the end of almost every post.

          The following are my suggestions for blog posts. Pages/articles, guest posts, posts to go viral, may have different criteria. I am talking about your bread and butter blog post to engage readers and get them to engage with you and ultimately give you money.

          First you should be clear about the purpose of the article, the problem, issue, idea or news it addresses. Find an angle that can lead to a call to action- decide what you want the reader do to when they finish the article and then tell them to do it.

          I will say "part" instead of "paragraph" because it depends a lot on length and subject how you want to pace the post.

          The Title should tell the reader exactly what they are going to get without reading the article. Don't make it vague, don't make it cute, don't make it a mysterious "...click to find out...". Those all have other uses but not here.

          How to pluck a chicken in 5 Minutes
          The top three resources for free traffic
          How to find cheap airfare online
          NOT Why this is stopping your business

          The first part should:
          • Restate exactly what they will get (I'm going to teach you to easily pluck a chicken in 5 minutes)
          • Offer an opinion, caveat, or statement so they get to know you and the angle you are coming from (I grew up on a farm and...)
          • Get them in the state of mind that they will benefit from this post (This is easier than you think once you know how)
          • It should encourage them to read further (Keep reading for the first step - how the hell do I start plucking a chicken?)
          The main part of your post is where you really address your subject, answer some questions, raise others, compare, review, whatever the purpose of the post is.

          • Describe their problems, offer solutions
          • Describe their dreams, offer road maps
          • Tell them news, offer your take
          • You get the idea
          The layout and presentation is also important.

          • Break it up into lots of sections with meaningful headlines
          • Use meaningful images, graphics and blockquotes
          • Lists, Numbered lists
          • Make it epic
          Google "creating epic content" there are some good articles for creating blog posts.

          Finally end with a summary and "Call to Action"
          This is one thing new bloggers often overlook but you will see in all the top bloggers. At the end of the post you need to tell your readers what to do.

          1. Opt-In
          You can simply tell them to opt-in and direct them to your regular form but an even more effective way is to offer something unique to that article.

          Say the article is "Outsourcing to Leverage Time and Money". You can't possibly cover everything in one blog post, even an epic one. Cover in enough detail to give a comprehensive overview then offer an opt-in at the end for a more detailed e-book on Outsourcing or "Top 10 Outsourcing Resources" or "Outsource Everything to Fiverr". Something they will be eager for immediately after reading your article and rush to opt-in.

          2. Read more
          A lot of traffic will come to your site from Google looking for answers. If they arrive at your post it is because it provides what the reader is looking for (you hope). If you are giving quality content it is a great opportunity to guide them to another post.

          Say they arrived after searching "How to build backlinks". They arrive at your article "How to Build Backlinks - The White Hat Way".

          At the end of the article you could direct them to another article that is related enough they would want to read it:
          Check out my case study where I take you step by step how to build backlinks
          Check out my Blog Network Blueprint
          NOT Check out my YouTube traffic guide (they came looking for backlink info)

          Something that is more than a list of semi-related articles created by a plug-in. Specific recommendations by you that will go well with the article they just read.

          3. Comment
          Comments are great ways to engage and answer questions that come out of the post. A lot of the good blogs have as much information in the comments as the original post.

          4. Buy
          Much better to get an opt-in than try for a direct sale. If you have a promotion you are more likely to create a sale page or review page (rather than post) and send blog traffic there rather than selling in the blog post. But if you are selling- TELL THEM TO CLICK

          A call to action makes a big difference. You need to be telling your audience what to do and get them used to following you.

          Your article is not bad and has many of these qualities. I think it could be reworked a bit better and certainly breaking it up into sections with headlines, adding bold and italic, lists, and a call to action.

          You are writing it as an intro post (it seems from reading) so really take that opportunity to state your opinion and engage.

          Get clear on what the purpose of that post is. Tweak it so it says what you want and sets the tone. Lead your readers into your mindset- tell them some "hard truths"- offer high level solutions. Everything you are already doing.

          Since it is an intro post a great all to action would be an opt-in for an ebook with image and form.

          The way you are talking and addressing your core audience, I think a good book on mindset would work. Find a quality PLR ebook (there are many on that topic) and rework it to your voice and your blog then get a nice new cover done on fiverr.

          Mindset is extremely important to move from the "average" to the "super rich" but it is rarely something the "average" is willing to pay for. Also, since you are talking about mindset you can ingrain with them the importance of "leverage" and using "money to make money". so they understand they will have to BUY things/products/service on their journey.

          The post "as is" is a great start. And probably fine for the average blog. But I can just tell you want to make yours EPIC.

          EDIT: The "afraid to lose" angle in your intro blurb is great. It subtly lowers their fears of spending money. A big fear in buying is the money is going to disappear and you will get scammed. They need to overcome the "afraid to lose" mindset before they will over come fears and take the action they need to be successful. Some of which will be buying products/services from you.

          I would add that tone to you first article. It is the first step in realizing you need to spend money to make money.

          And one of the top barriers to buying info products.


          Anyway this went kind of long so I'll say good night.

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9914834].message }}
          • Profile picture of the author discrat
            you need to start churning out some more Posts and then Pinging after each one. You started 4 days ago and still not another Post ?



            - Robert Andrew
            Signature

            Nothing to see here including a Sig so just move on :)

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          • Originally Posted by onSubie View Post

            Well, seeing as you are the 1 out of 100 to actually try some advice and come back to the thread... LOL

            That's much better.

            The game analogy, though cliche, is pretty good as it ties in well with your USP.

            I was going to say something about your articles. There is another thread about a new blog with the same problems.

            You need to realize that you are writing for a purpose. If you are in a "make money niche" like MMO, Weight Loss, Fitness or Personal Development (as you are) then the purpose of your writing is to MAKE MONEY.

            Not necessarily immediately or directly but it should aim to accomplish something that leads to that goal: an opt-in, a sale, a share, whatever.

            That means creating quality content that engages, raises an issue or question, provides information or an answer followed by a call to action.

            A call to action is important at the end of almost every post.

            The following are my suggestions for blog posts. Pages/articles, guest posts, posts to go viral, may have different criteria. I am talking about your bread and butter blog post to engage readers and get them to engage with you and ultimately give you money.

            First you should be clear about the purpose of the article, the problem, issue, idea or news it addresses. Find an angle that can lead to a call to action- decide what you want the reader do to when they finish the article and then tell them to do it.

            I will say "part" instead of "paragraph" because it depends a lot on length and subject how you want to pace the post.

            The Title should tell the reader exactly what they are going to get without reading the article. Don't make it vague, don't make it cute, don't make it a mysterious "...click to find out...". Those all have other uses but not here.

            How to pluck a chicken in 5 Minutes
            The top three resources for free traffic
            How to find cheap airfare online
            NOT Why this is stopping your business

            The first part should:
            • Restate exactly what they will get (I'm going to teach you to easily pluck a chicken in 5 minutes)
            • Offer an opinion, caveat, or statement so they get to know you and the angle you are coming from (I grew up on a farm and...)
            • Get them in the state of mind that they will benefit from this post (This is easier than you think once you know how)
            • It should encourage them to read further (Keep reading for the first step - how the hell do I start plucking a chicken?)
            The main part of your post is where you really address your subject, answer some questions, raise others, compare, review, whatever the purpose of the post is.

            • Describe their problems, offer solutions
            • Describe their dreams, offer road maps
            • Tell them news, offer your take
            • You get the idea
            The layout and presentation is also important.

            • Break it up into lots of sections with meaningful headlines
            • Use meaningful images, graphics and blockquotes
            • Lists, Numbered lists
            • Make it epic
            Google "creating epic content" there are some good articles for creating blog posts.

            Finally end with a summary and "Call to Action"
            This is one thing new bloggers often overlook but you will see in all the top bloggers. At the end of the post you need to tell your readers what to do.

            1. Opt-In
            You can simply tell them to opt-in and direct them to your regular form but an even more effective way is to offer something unique to that article.

            Say the article is "Outsourcing to Leverage Time and Money". You can't possibly cover everything in one blog post, even an epic one. Cover in enough detail to give a comprehensive overview then offer an opt-in at the end for a more detailed e-book on Outsourcing or "Top 10 Outsourcing Resources" or "Outsource Everything to Fiverr". Something they will be eager for immediately after reading your article and rush to opt-in.

            2. Read more
            A lot of traffic will come to your site from Google looking for answers. If they arrive at your post it is because it provides what the reader is looking for (you hope). If you are giving quality content it is a great opportunity to guide them to another post.

            Say they arrived after searching "How to build backlinks". They arrive at your article "How to Build Backlinks - The White Hat Way".

            At the end of the article you could direct them to another article that is related enough they would want to read it:
            Check out my case study where I take you step by step how to build backlinks
            Check out my Blog Network Blueprint
            NOT Check out my YouTube traffic guide (they came looking for backlink info)

            Something that is more than a list of semi-related articles created by a plug-in. Specific recommendations by you that will go well with the article they just read.

            3. Comment
            Comments are great ways to engage and answer questions that come out of the post. A lot of the good blogs have as much information in the comments as the original post.

            4. Buy
            Much better to get an opt-in than try for a direct sale. If you have a promotion you are more likely to create a sale page or review page (rather than post) and send blog traffic there rather than selling in the blog post. But if you are selling- TELL THEM TO CLICK

            A call to action makes a big difference. You need to be telling your audience what to do and get them used to following you.

            Your article is not bad and has many of these qualities. I think it could be reworked a bit better and certainly breaking it up into sections with headlines, adding bold and italic, lists, and a call to action.

            You are writing it as an intro post (it seems from reading) so really take that opportunity to state your opinion and engage.

            Get clear on what the purpose of that post is. Tweak it so it says what you want and sets the tone. Lead your readers into your mindset- tell them some "hard truths"- offer high level solutions. Everything you are already doing.

            Since it is an intro post a great all to action would be an opt-in for an ebook with image and form.

            The way you are talking and addressing your core audience, I think a good book on mindset would work. Find a quality PLR ebook (there are many on that topic) and rework it to your voice and your blog then get a nice new cover done on fiverr.

            Mindset is extremely important to move from the "average" to the "super rich" but it is rarely something the "average" is willing to pay for. Also, since you are talking about mindset you can ingrain with them the importance of "leverage" and using "money to make money". so they understand they will have to BUY things/products/service on their journey.

            The post "as is" is a great start. And probably fine for the average blog. But I can just tell you want to make yours EPIC.

            EDIT: The "afraid to lose" angle in your intro blurb is great. It subtly lowers their fears of spending money. A big fear in buying is the money is going to disappear and you will get scammed. They need to overcome the "afraid to lose" mindset before they will over come fears and take the action they need to be successful. Some of which will be buying products/services from you.

            I would add that tone to you first article. It is the first step in realizing you need to spend money to make money.

            And one of the top barriers to buying info products.


            Anyway this went kind of long so I'll say good night.

            This made perfect sense to me, I have to thank you greatly for your invaluable advice!

            I have made some new adjustments to the first blog post so if you like you could take a quick look?

            Thanks
            {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9915753].message }}
    • Originally Posted by kk075 View Post

      I hated that bolded line, "The Rich Control the Poor" for so many reasons. I've been poor and NOBODY controlled me but myself, and it was my dedication to changing my circumstances that made a difference. Because the fact of the matter is, everyone has the opportunity to do better in life and become more successful.

      If they're going to waste time sitting around and finding people to blame for their situations though, then you've already given up.
      Thanks for this, have made adaptations here and the message being portrayed was wrong, of course we want to be in the Super Rich bracket so why paint such a bad light.
      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[9914358].message }}
  • You definitely have a great start going with your blog and congrats on taking action. So many people fall short where you have pushed on and taken control of making your life different. Awesome

    There are a few things you can do to improve your blog posts. Blogs are meant for two reasons.

    1) Give people valuable information and turn that traffic into leads.
    2) Turn those leads into sales (monetization)

    If you do not strive for these two aspects you are wasting your time if your overall goal is to make money and have the freedom you desire.

    Your information is good, so lets talk about improving your organic traffic. Google searches for many things when crawling around the internet. These need to be included in your blog post to get more traffic and be ranked higher on the web.



    1) Headlines, should be at least 2 headlines in your blog post with the keywords you are trying to rank.

    Pictures also increase user retention, there should be a least one pic somewhere in the article.

    Headlines are also good because some people skim read and only hit headlines or bullets. Which leads me to my next point.

    2) Bullets, which you did have few in your blog post. This helps readability of your blog and attracts the busy, ADD, skim readers.

    3) Call to action, The point of a blog is to capture leads and be able to continually provide those leads value and at some point sell them something that they need, want and desire.

    This will be a good place for you to start and this will drastically improve retention from your readers and increase your overall traffic and rank on google.

    If you want to dive a bit deeper, here is a great free downloadable PDF on the anatomy of the perfect blog post. http://shawnandrewwalker.com/perfectblog

    If you have any questions at all feel free to hit me up on Facebook. Shawn Andrew Walker
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  • Profile picture of the author art72
    You really need to re-evaluate what it is you are trying to do?

    I erased my initial response for fear it would seem too harsh, and I didn't want you to blame me "IF" your blog fails.

    Today and for millions of years past there has always been “rich people”. There will always be “rich” within society. Similarly for our entire history there has always been “poor people” and there will always be “poor” within society. This indicates that there are 2 money problems which have always been and will always be;
    The short version: (*Watch, Listen, Learn!)

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    Atop a tree with Buddha ain't a bad place to take rest!
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    • Profile picture of the author onSubie
      [DELETED]
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      • Profile picture of the author kk075
        Originally Posted by onSubie View Post

        Thanks, I just happened to have 6 hours to kill...
        LOL, I though the exact same thing. I'd definitely be all-in if it was available in 3 minute chunks though.
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        • Profile picture of the author art72
          Originally Posted by kk075 View Post

          LOL, I though the exact same thing. I'd definitely be all-in if it was available in 3 minute chunks though.
          I felt... 2.5 years of following a blog about a guy/gal who had no value to offer should not be encouraged, as so many are doing here.

          Honestly, posting the video (Outwitting the Devil) was perhaps an ill attempt to mask my initial response... which centered on NOT giving 'praise' where there ought not be any.

          To encourage this as a good start, in my opinion IS NOT what the OP needs to be hearing.

          As onSubie pointed out above, the projected message conflicts with the mission statement right out of the gate. Hence, the blog is crippled right from the starting point. Too many leaks... too much transparency, and where's the reward(s) for those who 'might' jump on this train?

          There too, the mission statement; "re-routing my family history in 2.5 years" ???

          If I was his/her mum or dad, I might ought whoop that @$$, for projecting a huge lack of gratitude for the families prior efforts...be them richer or poorer... as it's suffice to say; obviously being poor has not been a lesson learned well, or the OP wouldn't be recruiting others to a journey that begins without direction.

          Which to me implies, this is not an example of being a bekon of light, or a guide to any type of authoritative leadership role - this is instead; a pissed-off sheep out to somehow ask others to shed their wool, and share in a journey to run naked (in misery) raging against "becoming" the very thing (rich/influential/powerful) that is "being despised" to start off with.

          Heck, I too have lost a 6-figure business, home, property, and all the fixin's... so how does that help you or anyone else recover those types of losses. Certainly, not with false claims of knowing the way - having not first traveled to the actually solution oneself. (I hope.)

          Now, assuming this 1st time blogger will somehow 'finds his/her financial freedom' - and actually does re-route his families history, does that not 'insult' both the audience and his/her family?

          My initial response was "TRASH" the entire project.

          If you wanna give people a cool vehicle to re-route history with, then promote something like these... You'll likely get more mileage!


          There are so many things to make money with online, why sell misery? or

          Being "against' the very things you want to sell/become, like being successful? - Doesn't resonate well IMHO

          PS - Hopefully, you have 3:05 to watch, the video, lol.
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          • Profile picture of the author kk075
            Originally Posted by art72 View Post

            PS - Hopefully, you have 3:05 to watch, the video, lol.
            I won't lie to you....I stopped watching around the 1:40 mark when I realized that they weren't going to do anything more spectacular than I had already seen. Really cool product though and I agree...why not market something different that will serve a genuine need (or in this case, a genuine want)?

            Thanks for the video! I agreed with everything else you said as well, I had the same opinion on this thread.
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  • Profile picture of the author Lightlysalted
    Good start ! Nice blog mate, all the very best with it
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  • Profile picture of the author Freebiequeen1999
    The type was very hard to read, very light

    One post is hardly a blog, there are many out there with lot of informatin, more visual,

    you need pictures with your posts.

    You seem to want to gain financial freedom but how? I guess by selling stuff to those who will subscribe to your blog?
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  • Profile picture of the author andorod77
    The blog is looking like it has a great start. What I suggest you do now is start writing more content within your blog.

    After you've got a decent amount of posts, try to make "your most popular" posts page, also a previous article feature so that readers can view your past work chronologically. Try to post images in you blog and make it look professional.

    Also, try to change your website icon as it still carries the hostgator icon at the top.
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  • Profile picture of the author Jack Hunter
    Its nice that so many folks here want to be supportive, but I always found positive support when its unwarranted to be more unhelpful than anything else.

    That blog is not going anyplace nice. Article is pure nonsense. It sounds more like grudge against the wealthy and shows more lack of understanding of wealth than anything else.

    Quote directly from it:
    "We believe that they win by making us afraid to lose, the lack of financial education in schools proves this. At Flat Broke to Family Freedom our job is to teach you how to play the game, how to beat the rich at their own game and WIN BIG!!"

    I am obviously not target demographic for this blog, but even so, ... that's just badly written nonsense.

    If you intend to promote those points of view, you might have much, much better luck monetizing Youtube channel and talking to the camera. People who might like this article are probably mostly fairly illiterate and too poor to purchase anything you might offer them.
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  • Profile picture of the author FreedomBlogger
    Your blog is looking good. Nice and clean.

    I noticed you don't have the comments section at the bottom of your blog post page.You should allow comments. You also need better Social Network Sharing Buttons.

    An author bio box is recommended but not really necessary. It would just help people learn more about who you are after reading your content.

    Just my 2cents ...

    Keep up the great work!

    I wish you the best!

    Cheers!
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    At the beginning, I thought making money online with a blog was super super hard. Not anymore. Learn the art of making money online blogging - step by step - HERE.
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  • Profile picture of the author dsouravs
    need a new logo and a favicon.
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    I can convert your Non-Responsive website to Responsive website ... How sweet is that? :)

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  • Profile picture of the author Phil Essex
    Hi - Great start - Your blog title should be in your first sentence of your post and be H1. Get one of the seo plugins - they make it pretty easy to get your seo level up.

    Put a sign up form. Put several sign up forms.. put a sticky widget signup in the sidebar that follows along with the reader.

    Write as much as you can manage but only a few lines to a paragraph - liberally lace it with photos and videos..

    Well I guess there's a lot to cover - but that's a few of my thoughts. Best of luck to you.

    Regards
    Phil Eugene
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  • Profile picture of the author skmyna
    Hey brother, Getting started is always nice but be careful while trying to make money on the make money online niche. Keep adding more and more content.The more valuable content you'll provide, the more people will trust you and love your site. Great going. Good luck pal.
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  • Profile picture of the author beasty513
    I like your writing style but flesh it out with more content
    paired with a stronger call to action, you'll be set.
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  • Profile picture of the author Slade556
    I agree with SchoolofKA, you need to darken the font color a bit. Other that that, I enjoyed reading your first post, it's nicely written but it's just the one.
    You should really focus on adding more content now, write as often as you can. I noticed you use the word "money" a lot, is this the keyword you'll be focusing on?
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  • Profile picture of the author trinity571
    Very clean looking. I agree the header image is gigantic which forces me to scroll down to see what's there. I might be a bit slow, but when I was on the about page, I wondered how to get back to the home page as there is no home button. Then I realised that I had to click the header title to get back. Otherwise, a good start.
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  • Profile picture of the author onSubie
    I think you have a good start and a good niche.

    Personal Development/MMO is good but very large. You need to find your voice and carve out your niche. I think your angle of "controlling destiny" and the "super rich mindset" are pretty good angles.

    Here are some suggestions, which are subjective so you will get differing opinions.

    High Quality Content
    It is better to create high quality content less frequently that you can promote than pumping out 1-2 articles every day. Share the articles with your list and social networks.

    Follow the "Experts" in your Field
    Find other other blogs in your niuche and see how they present their material, how they monetize and how they run their list (opt-in to a few lists with an email designed for this).

    Build a List
    Very important to build a list. Start right away. If you build a list it is important to set-up an autoresponder series at the same time. No point in having an opt-in and a list if you don't have your engagement emails set up. A list is also a great way of getting feedback. Use an email people can reply to and ask questions.

    Monetize
    Find one key product that you love and support that will help your target audience. Set up an autoresponder campaign to softsell and hard sell the product over 21-30 days. Focus on one product you use and know so you can promote it as an expert.

    Promote and get Traffic
    You need to actively engage your audience and build your business. Make a killer Linked In profile. That is a great target audience for your niche.

    YouTube, Google+ and facebook too.

    Follow that by learning and tweaking:

    What content does your audience respond to?
    How is the product you are promoting doing? Is it what they want?
    How responsive is your list? Are you getting feedback?

    You need to immerse yourself in your niche if you plan on building a strong blog. Join groups on facebook, Linked In, etc.

    Create a Google alerts for keywords and stories you want to follow

    Visit key blogs in your niche regularly and participate with comments and their facebook group,etc.

    As you go along you will learn more tips and tweaks you can use to get better at blogging and selling to your list.
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  • Profile picture of the author Boonqueesha
    Congrats on taking your first step! That's often the hardest part of any journey. Now, I can't pretend I'm anyone when it comes to blogging as I only started my first writing "business" a week ago, but I can analyze your blog subjectively. As someone highly interested in making money, I have to say your site reeks of desperation. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but your site doesn't convince me of your authority on making money. I'm not excited by your words, and your images look stock. If I had to put it one way, I'd say it feels like you're trying to sell me something you don't know anything about. Also, I don't know if a one-page blog has any SEO benefits, but I found it unpleasant to deal with.

    I'm not trying to discourage you or make you feel bad, but this is not a site I would bookmark, tell my friends about or continue to read. I admire your effort to get started. I know it isn't easy, but you might want to shift your thinking into the position of a prospective reader to see if you'd be willing to share the page with others interested in making money. Are you offering unique content or is it a bunch of flub? Ask yourself that question as you continue to work on your site.

    Best of luck to you!
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