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Any Sales Gurus? Looking for Feedback

by Krisism
2 replies
  • WEB DESIGN
    • |
Hello Warriors,

We're getting close to launching a new website geared around selling iPhone-optimized solutions for everything from websites, to event planners and mobile resumes. There are a lot of unique uses and angles and we are doing our best to communicate this through our simple sales process:

1. Front page - "Why Optimize?"
2. Features, Pricing and Packages
3. A five page tour explaining the many uses.

Each page of the sales process and tour include a "get started now" button or allow them to continue if they would like to learn more.

Are there any sales gurus here that could perhaps take a look over and give me their feedback? I'm looking for anything major I missed and to get some initial feelings/confidence to begin paid conversion testing.

Cheers,
Kris!

P.S. the website is "iPhoneOptimized.com"
#feedback #gurus #sales
  • Profile picture of the author Zentech
    Hi,

    Your sales copy is plain and non-persuasive. Your action demand at the bottom of "Why Optimize" is particularly bad - "why not?" I don't mean to be overly harsh, but I chuckled a little at that, because it's probably the weakest call to action I've ever seen. Of all the unfortunate questions you could possibly ask the reader, this is about the most likely to lose you a sale instead of gain one, simply because you're virtually asking the reader to convince himself/herself why it's NOT a good idea. In fact, you're literally asking them to do that.

    You need to significantly improve your sales copy on all of the pages. I know you're not going for hype in this niche, but you still need a stronger, more consistent, expanded sales message. If you want to know more, PM me, or contact one of the many other skilled copywriting warriors.
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    • Profile picture of the author Krisism
      Hi Zentech - and thank's for the feedback!

      Don't worry about being harsh because the consumer will be - it's always good to get feedback. I do see your point, and I'm not sure where the writer was going with that one but the ball is in my court now and I'll be working on some new sales copy before we really launch.

      We are looking to convey simplicity and I don't want the typical "pressure-cooker" sales copy seen on so many pitch pages - however I do want the copy to accurately detail the value in the package.

      Keep the feedback coming - I'll see if we can get some changes going live in the next few days.

      Cheers,
      Kris
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