Please review my website (and business)

Don't you think the texts can be rewritten? Maybe you know some native English speakers from UK, who could do the job?

This really help, more than that organize your site with H1/H2/H3 tags and put your keyword in the H1.

Do a lot of backlinks and spy your competitors, try also to use secondary keyword

And for the design, since I can not see my self as an expert I will tell my opinion.... for a children party that green make the idea go away... try something more happy... more "crazy".... pink, blue, red, orange, green....
And try to emphasize important sections...

The layout on top seems a little off.
I'd rather you move the whole top pic down and align it to the nav bar with the homepage an other links. Then put a header on top. also align the specials on the right as well.

The gray text on the main content seems a little dull... gray isn't very catchy to attention, especially if there's only all text.

You are offering service related to hen party but your website looking is not related to that theme. Need something more attractive. Your website needs online marketing and promotion so that you can get business.

For me whole website looks overloaded with informations.
In that type of business I would look for targeted information, and truly saying I can't find it on your website.
In my opinion you should work on content, and beside of that - there is so many spelling mistakes that it looks really unprofessional

You're trying to target two completely different target markets from the same page. What is this doing? It's confusing your audience.

You cannot possibly offer original hen party ideas and children's party ideas on the same page. No wonder this isn't converting. No surprise there in the slightest.

Either choose one market or the other.

Your header image btw is completely skewed if pitching this homepage for children's parties. It's completely and utterly inappropriate.

As soon as someone looks at this header image and then reads your main headline they're going to feel distinctly uncomfortable which completely defies the purpose of your website sales copy.

So what is the purpose of your sales copy?...

The purpose of your sales copy is to empathize with your specific target market / target audience feelings of emotional frustration and pain.

Ask yourself... what are the key feelings or frustrations being felt by your target market? If you don't know the answer to this question you're going to have to research the answer.

Without this answer, without this research...

...it will be impossible to uncover and discover your USP (Unique Selling Proposition.)

Without your USP it will also be impossible to highlight your key benefits, note I said benefits and not features.

A feature is one of the components, facts, or functions of your product or service. Describe what it does, how it works, or what it looks like. In short a feature is what a product actually does.

What do your product/s or service/s do?

A benefit describes what a product does for someone to offer a solution to a particular problem.

Now, your sales copy...

Your sales copy is not supposed to read like a brochure, it's not a business card either merely saying, here we are, this is what we do. It's not good enough.

Your sales copy needs to engage with the subconscious mind emotionally of your target market. If it doesn't do this, it fails in it's objective.

The main headline is pretty useless in this instance on your website. There is no irresistible benefit, no hook, nothing to reel your potential target buyers into, in a nutshell... there's nothing there for anyone to latch onto. It's not engaging your potential buyers. Period.

The main headline should always contain a major benefit. Something which on reading the reader goes in their mind, "Wow! This looks really interesting."

And this main headline, it has one single purpose only... to nudge the reader downwards into your sales funnel which should be as slippery as can be. We call this gravity pulling sales copy in the copywriting industry.

So we've established that the main headline needs to inspire enough curiosity in the mind of the reader that they feel compelled emotionally to read the first sentence.

This first sentence, it needs to be kept extraordinarily short... 6-8 words maximum. The intention is to not overwhelm your targeted audience with too much information at the start of your website sales copy.

And this first sentence, it has one single purpose only...

...to get the reader to read the 2nd sentence down. That's it, nothing more.

And the 2nd sentence down, you've guessed it, it's purpose is to get the reader to read the 3rd sentence down.

And so on and so forth all the way to the bottom of your sales copy so finally your readers feel justified making the decision to take your direct call to action.

This might be to call you on the phone directly, to email you, to Skype you or of course to click on a buy it now button.

Remember! Tip...

When you write your sales copy, keep it very simple. Write as though your writing to a good friend sitting across the table from you. Don't use technical jargon or words which your target audience will not instantly understand. Keep it conversational.

Every word, in every sentence, in every paragraph you write, will trigger an emotional response in the mindset of your readers. Transition their emotions carefully away from their frustration and pain to your ideal solution - emotional pleasure.

Obviously there's a lot more to it than this but these few basic persuasion triggers and copywriting advice should get you on your way to breathing new life into this sales pitch and more sales.

Finally, one last point which needs to be reiterated again...

Do not in this case try to kill two birds with one stone.

Choose one market or the other and pitch to this market only.

Go for the two of them together on the same page and you're going to massively confuse your target market.

Best,


Mark Andrews...

First and foremost you need to get more traffic to your site. Very few visitors come to your site as indicated by your sites Alexa rank. You have a okay Google PR3, which indicates it is a respectable site and could do well in Google.

A few things you can do is first locally list yourself in Google listings. That would start giving you targeted local traffic to you site without additional effort.

Then your site is very confusing, it takes a long time to understand what you are selling. It took me a long time to figure out what your services are.

You should highlight your services and make them prominent on the homepage, so that your customers know that they have landed on the right website.

As far as design goes, I like it. I like the grassy hill in the footer and the clouds in the background, but the orange green and gray is kinda throwing me off. Maybe something other than gray?

I would use a regular header, you can't read your logo very well.

I would add some photos from some of your events on the home page. A couple from each kind of event - children's birthday parties and some from your Hens parties.

Your affiliate program runs off the page, so you can't read it.

Mark was absolutely spot on about the juxtaposition of hen parties with children's parties.

If I'm coming to your site looking to organise a children's party, then seeing a bunch of drunken chavs is going to put me right off. Also, the header photo looks more terrorism than "fun time".

Split your content out into two separate sites (since this one is established, you could use sub-domains to make the most of your existing page rank.) While you're at it, hire a decent copy editor with a view to eliminating the off-putting errors in English. Send me a PM if you want my help with that.