The Power of Intimidation on your self confidence.

The Power of Intimidation on your self confidence.
Like most of the human race I get many of my inspirations whilst taking a shower. This morning I remembered an experience I had when I was just a young sales engineer trying to make a name for myself in the corporate world. I have rushed through my morning ablutions so that I could write it all down whilst it is still fresh in my head.
I had two main competitors; they too were young energetic highly competitive and likeable guys. Often we would meet in the waiting rooms of our potential clients. At first we did not talk and viewed each other with suspicion and caution but the years rolled by things slowly changed. We would turn up in the same waiting rooms all over the country at the same time going for the same contract. Sometimes I would win a contract, sometimes they would win and although we were very competitive we eventually went from just nodding acquaintances to becoming really good friends. Our professional banter eventually developed into friendships inside and outside of business and eventually we planned our interstate trips to coincide at a country club or a motel somewhere far from home. It was comforting to share a meal at the end of a long day in a strange town with a familiar face and although we were often competing it was always honest and good natured.
It was on such a trip that the three of us met and suffered the absolute worst case of intimidation that a sale representative could imagine. We all had appointments with the same guy on the same day one after each other. One arriving we were told by his secretary that he would only give each one of us ten minutes. So despite the fact that we had travelled hundreds of miles to see this guy he would only give us ten minutes each to deliver our pitch. That was no reason to dislike the guy he was probably very busy, after all he was the chief buyer for the biggest mill in the country and the expansion that he was in-charge of was worth many millions of dollars.
All three of us knew that ten minutes was not enough but we were all experienced negotiators and knew that we could interest him in our products enough to have him extend the time once we were with him. However what followed proved to be more of a challenge than anyone of us could have possible imagined. My conclusion was that this guy was a power nut and used his position to intimidate and dishearten even the most experienced and road toughened salesperson.
I’ll describe his work environment so that you can get an idea of how dedicated this man was to making you feel small and insignificant. Firstly his secretary sat behind one of those desks that had a high front. This meant that you had to go right up to her to speak. It also meant that she could quite comfortably ignore you long enough to make you feel like a naughty school boy standing on the mat in front of the principle. I noticed she used this technique on everyone that came into the office. One fellow got tired of her rudeness and blurted out that his appointment was for nine o’clock and that he would be sitting right over there. She did not answer and the poor guy didn’t know what to do next. When eventually nine o’clock came and went he got up and spoke again. However she interrupted by holding her hand up like a traffic cop and indicated that she was engaged in a phone conversation on her head set. Then with a click of her fingers and a gesture with her hand she indicated that he should return to his seat. The poor guy was dumbfounded and slunk back red faced to his place. I could feel his embarrassment and I was reminded of one time when I too suffered a humiliating experience. On this occasion I was feeling great. I had just had a haircut, my suit was expensive and new, my brief case was leather and matched my shoes and belt and to top it all off I had just picked up my new company vehicle which was a top of the line luxury model.
I remember it was a particularly hot dry dusty day and as I walked towards the building I must have unknowingly sucked in a speck of dust because when I stood in front of the receptionist to announce who I was all that came out of my throat was a squeak and a dry whistling sound. I tried in vain to speak again and again but nothing but this horrible gagging sound came out. Eventually after my attempts at sigh language failed me I retreated from the building coughing and spluttering all the way to the car. To this day I will always remember the look on the receptionists face. She sat there behind her desk emotionless and almost smug like this was a normal daily occurrence. Meanwhile I was engaged in strangling contorting actions and desperately pointing to my throat. So you see I was able to have some sympathy for this salesman as he sat nervously looking from one face to another wondering what to do next.
However the intimidation had only just begun you see we were in the hands of a master of the art of making people feel uncomfortable and unwanted. There were two waiting rooms. One room was comfortable, the softly padded seats for guests were placed around a coffee table, there was soft lighting, thick carpet magazines to read. I figured this was for clients of the mill. Our waiting room was cold; the furniture was modern, clean and very uncomfortable, no coffee table, no magazines, no picture on the walls, no coffee machine or water fountain. At the end of the north wall was a huge window that opened into the first waiting room. It made you feel like a second class citizen just to be shown past the good room into this room. The fact that your appointment time had passed also made you feel a lack of importance to this man. Half an hour after the appointed time my friend Peter went into the big man’s office. His visit lasted exactly ten minutes. On exiting he walked over to us doing an imitation of Jack Nicholson from the film, one flew over the cuckoo’s nest. Oh I guess you had to be there to appreciate it but it was his levity that brought the whole thing into perspective. It was Steve’s turn next. During the next ten minutes Peter described his ordeal and that he felt that the guy had already made up his mind to go with an overseas supplier. He described the office environment, the man himself and why he felt that our visit was only to satisfy his superiors that he had seen all the major suppliers. I knew Peter well enough to know that he wasn’t trying to put me off and that this guy really was going to go with an overseas supplier and that all three of us were just wasting our time here. However like Peter and Steve I had to give it a shot so I braced myself for the onslaught. Peter explained that after passing through the huge double doors you were greeted with an enormous long office. As you walked towards his desk you couldn’t help but notice all the photographs on the walls of our antagonist in various poses with well known personalities, politicians and celebrities. His huge desk was at the other end of the office and it was actually placed on a stage or platform some six inches above the floor. Over the top of his high backed leather chair ticked a plain white faced clock about two feet in diameter. The Roman numeral made it look like it would be more at home in a railway station. Obviously he could not see it without swivelling around so I guess such a huge and intimidating time piece was for the benefit of his guests. The most outstanding monument to guest intimidation was the chair that he indicated was for you. Firstly it was placed to one side of his desk to give the impression that the occupier was not the centre of his attention. Secondly it was placed below and far enough away from the platform to ensure that you were looking up at him. Thirdly and this was the best technique of all, the seat section had been shortened to ensure that unless you had very short legs you would not be comfortable. In fact it was so short that to sit on it gave you a feeling of instability as if you might topple off if you moved around too much. It was also quite a low chair so you felt your knees coming up much higher than normal. There was only one chair like it in the whole room. I am sure that there were probably many other subtle and not so subtle attempts to unnerve his guests but the most blatant of all was the lighting. If you sat in the designated chair you were looking straight into a bank of trendy looking lights that were strategically placed on the wall behind him. The effect was that you could not see his face clearly; in fact it was almost a silhouette. The whole effect was that it was very difficult to gain eye contact and begin any type of relationship. You could not see him across the large desk but he could see you as he perched there like some tribal idol.
Steve came out to the waiting room shaking his head and suggested that it was a waste of time seeing him. He also confirmed Peter’s suspicion that the deal was going to go to an overseas supplier. I remained a good three minutes being debriefed by Steve and when they pointed out that I only had seven minutes left I laughed it off and said that he could wait another two minutes . I entered the office leaving the two big door open behind me, I was immediately told to close them but I kept right on walking and even before introductions were made I politely explained that I won’t be staying long. I saw the chair but kept right on walking. I wasn’t surprised to see that he was a small man made even smaller by his large desk and chair. I mounted the stage and walked up to him he attempted to rise but as I shook his hand I made sure that mine was on top and that he remained seated. He opened his mouth to speak but I but I got in first and even though he tried talking at the same time as me I just kept right on talking. This is what I said. I understand you are a very busy man and do not have time to see my full presentation so I will not be leaving our proposal with you. Oh by the way only you can know if our delivery or price or quality is better than anyone else’s but I promise you that my business is built on relationships and it takes time to build trust. (More than ten minutes I thought but didn’t say) I thank you for giving me this ten minutes it was interesting meeting you.
With that I spun around and left his office closing the doors gently behind me. Now it would be a great ending to this story if I was able to tell you that he was so impressed with my little act that he cancelled the overseas supplier and went with us but that is not how it ended. What actually happened was that he went for the overseas source and my company missed out on over a five million dollars income, and that was a lot in those days. I was in the dog house with my boss and the expense of the trip took several smaller sales to cover. Three years later we heard from the mill. The overseas sources had failed them and they were looking for a local supplier of maintenance goods. I suggested to my boss that it would be cheaper to fly him up to us so that he could see our operation for himself. It worked; once we had him on our turf we were able to show him without all the intimidation tricks that we were a very reliable and stable company. I guess it is a sort of happy ending. He remained a prickly customer and never really warmed to anyone in our organisation but we did get a portion of his business.
I once read a book on how to succeed in business using the power of intimidation. I got a feeling he read the same book. To tell you the truth I wished I had never read the thing, it was filled with a lot of negative and dishonest advice. I made millions and millions in business one customer at a time and this is how I did it. I was doing this even before it had a fancy name. Today more than ever it is really important to be transparent, honest and ethical in business. Relational Marketing is the term and I’ll write another paper on this very soon. I’ll probably have to take another shower to get my inspiration though.