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Why Father Might Not Know Best

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Posted 6th June 2016 at 09:13 PM by kartherma

As a father, I can say that I have a very strong desire to see my children be happy and not suffer in any sort of struggle or pain.

And that's the rub.

Every thought, bit of advice, or answer to the continual question of 'Dad, can I...' is evaluated through the lens of protecting them. When it comes to loved ones or friends, we can tend to default towards the safe option.

The older we get, the better we get at coaching friends and family on how to 'play it safe'...

Kids start with dreams- often silly sounding to the adults around them...

'I wanna be spiderman'

'I wanna be a professional BMX rider'

'I wanna be a commando like Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator'

'I wanna build an online business that I can run from the beach in Hawaii'

Yes, these are some of my dreams.

I really did want to be spiderman when I was really young. Dad said I wasn't allowed getting bit by spiders though.

I rode my bike a lot. And by a lot, I mean all the time. I was really good at the jumps and tricks. I was (no kidding) probably good enough to go on circuit. Dad came home early one day from work and caught me on the roof with my bike.

I was getting ready to jump onto a landing ramp half way down then to the ground (something I had been doing daily for months).

My BMX dreams came to an abrupt halt that afternoon.

First I wanted to be a boxer, then a Marine, then when I joined the Navy I wanted to go try my hand at the SEAL entry test. Dad made me promise I wouldn't.

The worry of me getting seriously hurt was just too great.

In all of these dreams Dad was motivated by steering me towards the safe option, he wasn't wrong at all.

I dutifully followed his guidance and I turned out to have a great life.

But what experiences did I miss out on?

Anyways, I do dream of eventually being on an island beach running my online business sipping umbrelly drinks. And I am well on my way to reaching that goal...

But I never talk about my plans to do just that when I 'retire' from the Navy with friends and family. They love me so...

Their worry driven 'advice' generator kicks in and starts throwing the most obvious 'safe' options out there.

You see, they don't understand how the online business works. The entire thing is confusing to them (friends and family both- Except my sister, she gets it quicker than I do...).

And anything that is not understood or confusing is seen as risky and dangerous. I know what I am doing and where I am taking risks at. And when I take risks I take steps to contain the consequences of the risk.

For instance, when I was looking for a software tool to build websites I found one that had a fixed price. I knew going in that the maximum I could lose was the few bucks I paid for it- nothing more (other than time lost using I guess). That wasn't really a risk at all, was it?

To check out the tool I use to build my websites with, jump your bike off the roof on over to

Be Good!
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