Landing page critique - any thoughts?

xtosko · 8th Jan 2015, 11:04 PM

Hello fellow warriors, wanted to ask your opinion about my landing page as I am going to start sending traffic soon. Thank you.
The page is: click here

(I updated the link for the updated squeeze page based on your kind opinions)

Please tell me if you see anything after this changes that might compromise good conversions.

Thank you all who gave me their opinion already, I really appreciate it.

Badassbro · 9th Jan 2015, 06:15 AM

The read background hurts my eyes, I want to click away..

Doesn't catch my attention, not because of the hook but because of the structure and font.

"STRUGGLING ENTREPRENEUR? CAN'T CONVERT YOUR LEADS INTO CUSTOMERS? DOWNLOAD MY PROVEN RECIPE AND SELL MORE IN *AUTO-PILOT*

There's only one 5 step process every internet millionaire is using to consistently convert leads into customers while turning them into repeated-hungry-loyal buyers in auto-pilot."

The headline doesn't stand out in any way.

Use a different font, structure it so that it is easy to read.

The background/contrast/font combination is not on point, I suggest you play around with it a bit.

I like the bullet points though - it's mainly a background issue here.

Just my opinion.

.

fatcitygirl · 9th Jan 2015, 06:52 AM

Yes, ditch the red background. It does hurt the eyes and I think many people will click away from the page before even getting to the headline. A light gray or white background would work.

RogozRazvan · 9th Jan 2015, 11:42 AM

Background aside …

- 5 step recipe to six figures online doesn't say much. “Five Steps Which Earned Me $127.531,90 In 2014” does.
- Identification issue – most people in this niche do not see themselves as entrepreneurs but as Internet Marketers.
- Sell in more auto-pilot? What the heck does that even mean? If I'm asking it, your prospects will ask it too.
- You lack credibility, in a level five marketplace, a photo of a Rolls Royce doesn't work anymore. Drop the cliches, tell them what it is and what it will do for them, in a better, more efficient manner than others.
- The same can be said about your feature – benefit analysis. You need to show why this is NOT another scam.

That's about it. Feel free to PM to talk more about this.

Best regards,
Razvan

xtosko · 9th Jan 2015, 12:02 PM

I made some changes based on your opinion which I really appreciate, the updated version is clickable now through the same link, please let me know what you think.

Again I really appreciate the time you put into giving me your opinion.

Originally Posted by Badassbro

The read background hurts my eyes, I want to click away..

Doesn't catch my attention, not because of the hook but because of the structure and font.

"STRUGGLING ENTREPRENEUR? CAN'T CONVERT YOUR LEADS INTO CUSTOMERS? DOWNLOAD MY PROVEN RECIPE AND SELL MORE IN *AUTO-PILOT*

There's only one 5 step process every internet millionaire is using to consistently convert leads into customers while turning them into repeated-hungry-loyal buyers in auto-pilot."

The headline doesn't stand out in any way.

Use a different font, structure it so that it is easy to read.

The background/contrast/font combination is not on point, I suggest you play around with it a bit.

I like the bullet points though - it's mainly a background issue here.

Just my opinion.

.

Originally Posted by RogozRazvan

Background aside …

- 5 step recipe to six figures online doesn't say much. “Five Steps Which Earned Me $127.531,90 In 2014” does.
- Identification issue – most people in this niche do not see themselves as entrepreneurs but as Internet Marketers.
- Sell in more auto-pilot? What the heck does that even mean? If I'm asking it, your prospects will ask it too.
- You lack credibility, in a level five marketplace, a photo of a Rolls Royce doesn't work anymore. Drop the cliches, tell them what it is and what it will do for them, in a better, more efficient manner than others.
- The same can be said about your feature – benefit analysis. You need to show why this is NOT another scam.

That's about it. Feel free to PM to talk more about this.

Best regards,
Razvan

Shaolinsteve · 9th Jan 2015, 05:55 PM

Originally Posted by xtosko

I made some changes based on your opinion which I really appreciate, the updated version is clickable now through the same link, please let me know what you think.

I personally think it's a bit too busy for a Squeeze Page but I'd say test it and see what results you pull off to begin with. The headline could do with being biigger, possibly along the top. You probably want to consider merging:

ATTENTION INTERNET MARKETERS
CAN'T CONVERT YOUR LEADS INTO CUSTOMERS? DOWNLOAD MY PROVEN RECIPE THAT'S TURNING MORE LEADS INTO CUSTOMERS FOR ME AND SEVERAL OTHER INTERNET GURUS

Into one solid headline. But at the end of the day... it's always about testing, tweaking and adapting. Test it, make changes and then move on.

BudiT · 14th Jan 2015, 07:30 PM

Try changing the layout, it looks rather compressed, and it makes people lazy to read on.

Your headline is now: ATTENTION internet marketers, when it should be DOWNLOAD MY PROVEN RECIPE THAT'S TURNING MORE LEADS INTO CUSTOMERS FOR ME AND SEVERAL OTHER INTERNET GURUS.

The headline should stand out much more, and grab people's attention right from the beginning.

Also in the popup, the width is way too narrow. Is there a way to make it wider?

Hope that helps?

~ Budi T

Cygnet Infotech · 28th Jan 2015, 03:31 AM

Looks plain, have some designs to make it look attractive!!

rorshach · 28th Jan 2015, 03:28 PM

Some things from the tops of my mind

Make ONE design element stand out. Preferably your call to action. Right now the secondary headline, the picture, and the call to action are all fighting for attention.
You say you have a proven recipe. Prove it. Show, don't tell.
The IM space is full of bullshit artists. Use testimonials or any other social proof to show you're legit.
Make sure there aren't any spelling errors in your copy (last paragraph "repetead")
Like the others have said. Headlines are really important. Spend most of your time on it.

peekay · 28th Jan 2015, 04:30 PM

I was not convinced by the copy... maybe it is just me.

The target audience is not specific enough... who is an internet marketer?
IMHO you need to break down your target market even more...

Referring to yourself as a guru is a bit off-putting...

If this is very important to your business, get the copy professionally written.

Good luck.

AaronBurton · 31st Jan 2015, 03:14 AM

I would look at landing pages of the top marketers and just recreate it. Too red imo, but good start.

seohacker · 31st Jan 2015, 04:15 AM

Here's my first impression and please don't take any offense on this:
Looks cheap and I'm not trusting this site - even for a free trial (coz a free trial comes with exchanging my permission for you to market to me).

Overall, if I was your consultant, I'd say it needs a revamp.

Joan Altz · 31st Jan 2015, 08:57 AM

Attention: Internet Marketers Struggling To Get More Sales

Find Out What My Lazy, Dumb Ass Buddy Discovered That Boosted His Sales So High PayPal Shut His Account Down Temporarily...

My uber-intelligent (not) friend wanted to offer this as a high ticket, guru style, sales conversion course, but there is only one problem with that...

He's not a guru!

In fact, before making this discovery, his own Grandmother was making more sales than him selling her crochet baby shawls on Etsy!

Now, I admit - perhaps grudgingly - that what he discovered is truly amazing and works almost beyond belief, but that to me doesn't warrant expert status, does it to you?

Of course not! Most of you reading this probably know infinitude times more about Internet Marketing that my over-exuberant friend...

So I convinced him that before we go guru-mode (I caught him mumbling to himself the other day: 'I'll be just like Frank [Kern]'), we should open this baby up to you guys for testing.

I mean, if he can do this and make a ton of extra sales, you guys who are more experienced should be able to take it and make it a slam dunk, right?

So, for a limited time we are giving his simple, 5-step formula he discovered away for free.

All we ask is for your feedback...and if we could get some of you to grant us your testimonial about how this formula made you a shitload of money, then we could sell it as a high-priced course later on after all the results roll in.

Fair enough?

CTA
Optin

Just an example how you could go with this off the top of my head.

The problem with how you have things set up now is...

1. Nobody will believe you (no proof you're a guru and no proof of higher sales conversions). No credibility at all, but that doesn't have to be an obstacle as my example pitch shows.

2. You have "guru" and "mastering" in there and it seems like it will be a lot of time and work to get results. Not appealing.

3. Your only testimonial is from a business coach. Nothing for the average Joe-marketer on this page at all.

chuang29 · 1st Feb 2015, 02:34 PM

Hi,

Agree with several of the comments that have been given.

On top of that, you should change the image on the right to something that will be more engaging and which will best reflect what you're offering - e.g. representation of the entire process in pictorial form.

rseigel · 1st Feb 2015, 07:27 PM

I would expect someone giving me free info with one of the parts being about Lead Magnets (and presumably trying to sell me something about it in the future) to be able to create a simple and professional lead magnet.

This page does not do that. It looks amateur and from what i can tell you haven't even attempted to take any of the great advice here (I'm talking about that awful image). Also, the blown up text in that image is really, really dated (didn't WordPerfect have that option back in 1992?).

It's ok....you just have some work to do before anyone is going to trust you as a pro (which is what you need to be in this niche).

Sorry to sound so harsh. I'm actually wishing you good luck as well.

turboshandy · 2nd Feb 2015, 03:47 AM

Your page doesn't look very professional, which makes it not trustworthy.
May I suggest you invest in a template, or create one yourself? Many scam websites look exactly like this, white background, a few lines of text and a big button to click on and buy something..

iykeokolie · 2nd Feb 2015, 09:41 AM

In my own opinion, the first thing you really need to get right to win the trust of people visiting your website, landing page or sales page is your design. If your design looks shabby then trust me visitor won't have a second look before hitting the cancel button even if your content is great. Get your design right mate then work on your content. I hope this helps?

8th Jan 2015, 11:04 PM	#1
xtosko Warrior Member Join Date: 2014 Posts: 8 Thanks: 3 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Hello fellow warriors, wanted to ask your opinion about my landing page as I am going to start sending traffic soon. Thank you. The page is: click here (I updated the link for the updated squeeze page based on your kind opinions) Please tell me if you see anything after this changes that might compromise good conversions. Thank you all who gave me their opinion already, I really appreciate it.

9th Jan 2015, 06:15 AM	#2
Badassbro Badass Member Join Date: 2014 Location: Germany Posts: 53 Thanks: 2 Thanked 20 Times in 14 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: The read background hurts my eyes, I want to click away.. Doesn't catch my attention, not because of the hook but because of the structure and font. "STRUGGLING ENTREPRENEUR? CAN'T CONVERT YOUR LEADS INTO CUSTOMERS? DOWNLOAD MY PROVEN RECIPE AND SELL MORE IN AUTO-PILOT There's only one 5 step process every internet millionaire is using to consistently convert leads into customers while turning them into repeated-hungry-loyal buyers in auto-pilot." The headline doesn't stand out in any way. Use a different font, structure it so that it is easy to read. The background/contrast/font combination is not on point, I suggest you play around with it a bit. I like the bullet points though - it's mainly a background issue here. Just my opinion. .
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9th Jan 2015, 06:52 AM	#3
fatcitygirl HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2011 Location: USA Posts: 112 Thanks: 17 Thanked 36 Times in 30 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Yes, ditch the red background. It does hurt the eyes and I think many people will click away from the page before even getting to the headline. A light gray or white background would work.

9th Jan 2015, 11:42 AM	#4
RogozRazvan Advanced Warrior Join Date: 2009 Posts: 551 Thanks: 58 Thanked 242 Times in 151 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Background aside … - 5 step recipe to six figures online doesn't say much. “Five Steps Which Earned Me $127.531,90 In 2014” does. - Identification issue – most people in this niche do not see themselves as entrepreneurs but as Internet Marketers. - Sell in more auto-pilot? What the heck does that even mean? If I'm asking it, your prospects will ask it too. - You lack credibility, in a level five marketplace, a photo of a Rolls Royce doesn't work anymore. Drop the cliches, tell them what it is and what it will do for them, in a better, more efficient manner than others. - The same can be said about your feature – benefit analysis. You need to show why this is NOT another scam. That's about it. Feel free to PM to talk more about this. Best regards, Razvan

14th Jan 2015, 07:30 PM	#7
BudiT Overdriven Warrior Join Date: 2014 Location: Singapore Posts: 138 Thanks: 80 Thanked 51 Times in 39 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Try changing the layout, it looks rather compressed, and it makes people lazy to read on. Your headline is now: ATTENTION internet marketers, when it should be DOWNLOAD MY PROVEN RECIPE THAT'S TURNING MORE LEADS INTO CUSTOMERS FOR ME AND SEVERAL OTHER INTERNET GURUS. The headline should stand out much more, and grab people's attention right from the beginning. Also in the popup, the width is way too narrow. Is there a way to make it wider? Hope that helps? *~ Budi T*

28th Jan 2015, 03:31 AM	#8
Cygnet Infotech Warrior Member Join Date: 2014 Location: Paramus, USA Posts: 28 Thanks: 0 Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Looks plain, have some designs to make it look attractive!!
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28th Jan 2015, 03:28 PM	#9
rorshach Warrior Member War Room Member Join Date: 2011 Posts: 8 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Some things from the tops of my mind Make ONE design element stand out. Preferably your call to action. Right now the secondary headline, the picture, and the call to action are all fighting for attention. You say you have a proven recipe. Prove it. Show, don't tell. The IM space is full of bullshit artists. Use testimonials or any other social proof to show you're legit. Make sure there aren't any spelling errors in your copy (last paragraph "repetead") Like the others have said. Headlines are really important. Spend most of your time on it.
	Want to learn how to build a good sized list, send good email and write great copy? My blog can help you with that. Serious marketers only.

28th Jan 2015, 04:30 PM	#10
peekay HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2010 Posts: 106 Thanks: 0 Thanked 31 Times in 19 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: I was not convinced by the copy... maybe it is just me. The target audience is not specific enough... who is an internet marketer? IMHO you need to break down your target market even more... Referring to yourself as a guru is a bit off-putting... If this is very important to your business, get the copy professionally written. Good luck.
	Find out free how CRO can double or triple your conversions, sales & profits in the next 60 to 90 days...

31st Jan 2015, 03:14 AM	#11
AaronBurton HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2013 Location: CA Posts: 158 Thanks: 172 Thanked 60 Times in 31 Posts Blog Entries: 2	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: I would look at landing pages of the top marketers and just recreate it. Too red imo, but good start.

31st Jan 2015, 04:15 AM	#12
seohacker Active Warrior Join Date: 2010 Location: PH Posts: 61 Thanks: 0 Thanked 13 Times in 12 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Here's my first impression and please don't take any offense on this: Looks cheap and I'm not trusting this site - even for a free trial (coz a free trial comes with exchanging my permission for you to market to me). Overall, if I was your consultant, I'd say it needs a revamp.
	Create your Free account at Qeryz. Gather. Analyze. Convert.

31st Jan 2015, 08:57 AM	#13
Joan Altz Think Outside..$$$ Inside War Room Member Join Date: 2011 Location: Here and There Posts: 1,060 Thanks: 250 Thanked 719 Times in 396 Posts Blog Entries: 1	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Attention: Internet Marketers Struggling To Get More Sales Find Out What My Lazy, Dumb Ass Buddy Discovered That Boosted His Sales So High PayPal Shut His Account Down Temporarily... My uber-intelligent (not) friend wanted to offer this as a high ticket, guru style, sales conversion course, but there is only one problem with that... He's not a guru! In fact, before making this discovery, his own Grandmother was making more sales than him selling her crochet baby shawls on Etsy! Now, I admit - perhaps grudgingly - that what he discovered is truly amazing and works almost beyond belief, but that to me doesn't warrant expert status, does it to you? Of course not! Most of you reading this probably know infinitude times more about Internet Marketing that my over-exuberant friend... So I convinced him that before we go guru-mode (I caught him mumbling to himself the other day: 'I'll be just like Frank [Kern]'), we should open this baby up to you guys for testing. I mean, if he can do this and make a ton of extra sales, you guys who are more experienced should be able to take it and make it a slam dunk, right? So, for a limited time we are giving his simple, 5-step formula he discovered away for free. All we ask is for your feedback...and if we could get some of you to grant us your testimonial about how this formula made you a shitload of money, then we could sell it as a high-priced course later on after all the results roll in. Fair enough? CTA Optin Just an example how you could go with this off the top of my head. The problem with how you have things set up now is... 1. Nobody will believe you (no proof you're a guru and no proof of higher sales conversions). No credibility at all, but that doesn't have to be an obstacle as my example pitch shows. 2. You have "guru" and "mastering" in there and it seems like it will be a lot of time and work to get results. Not appealing. 3. Your only testimonial is from a business coach. Nothing for the average Joe-marketer on this page at all.
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1st Feb 2015, 02:34 PM	#14
chuang29 chuang29 Join Date: 2015 Location: Singapore Posts: 26 Thanks: 15 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Hi, Agree with several of the comments that have been given. On top of that, you should change the image on the right to something that will be more engaging and which will best reflect what you're offering - e.g. representation of the entire process in pictorial form.
	Learn To Use Storytelling To Market Your Business, Products/Services Or Brand More Effectively

1st Feb 2015, 07:27 PM	#15
rseigel HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2014 Location: Ottawa, ON Posts: 113 Thanks: 5 Thanked 41 Times in 31 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: I would expect someone giving me free info with one of the parts being about Lead Magnets (and presumably trying to sell me something about it in the future) to be able to create a simple and professional lead magnet. This page does not do that. It looks amateur and from what i can tell you haven't even attempted to take any of the great advice here (I'm talking about that awful image). Also, the blown up text in that image is really, really dated (didn't WordPerfect have that option back in 1992?). It's ok....you just have some work to do before anyone is going to trust you as a pro (which is what you need to be in this niche). Sorry to sound so harsh. I'm actually wishing you good luck as well.
	Cheers, Ron

2nd Feb 2015, 03:47 AM	#16
turboshandy HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2015 Posts: 214 Thanks: 37 Thanked 18 Times in 17 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: Your page doesn't look very professional, which makes it not trustworthy. May I suggest you invest in a template, or create one yourself? Many scam websites look exactly like this, white background, a few lines of text and a big button to click on and buy something..

2nd Feb 2015, 09:41 AM	#17
iykeokolie Warrior Member Join Date: 2011 Posts: 8 Thanks: 0 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts	Re: Landing page critique - any thoughts? Share on: In my own opinion, the first thing you really need to get right to win the trust of people visiting your website, landing page or sales page is your design. If your design looks shabby then trust me visitor won't have a second look before hitting the cancel button even if your content is great. Get your design right mate then work on your content. I hope this helps?