My Landing Page- Your Thoughts?

17 replies
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Hi Guys i am promoting 3 affiliate products through the use of email marketing, and using facebook ppc and article writing to drive traffic to my squeeze page.

Can you let me know what you think of the landing page, as a incentive for people to sign up to my email list they get a free e-book showing them the 3 ways to build lean muscle mass.

Squeeze Page - Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass

Any thoughts on improvements for conversions etc, Thanks!

Love this forum!

-Elijah
#landing #page #thoughts
  • Profile picture of the author Tim R
    That landing page isn't gonna cut it.

    It's incredibly generic and looks exactly the same as the thousands of other sites that say the same thing.

    There's no hook here whatsoever.

    Try and come up with a fresh angle, and read up on some copywriting basics while you're at it.
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    • Profile picture of the author Maric123
      Originally Posted by Tim R View Post

      That landing page isn't gonna cut it.

      It's incredibly generic and looks exactly the same as the thousands of other sites that say the same thing.

      There's no hook here whatsoever.

      Try and come up with a fresh angle, and read up on some copywriting basics while you're at it.



      okay thanks for the advice, could you be a little more specific in terms of what needs to be changed/improved on the page.

      Any particular copywriting courses or basics i should look for thanks!
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      • Profile picture of the author vandernath
        Originally Posted by Maric123 View Post

        okay thanks for the advice, could you be a little more specific in terms of what needs to be changed/improved on the page.

        Any particular copywriting courses or basics i should look for thanks!
        Hey Maric,

        For copywriting basics, I recommend "Great Leads: The Six Easiest Ways to Start Any Sales Message" by Michael Masterson and John Forde. It's only $8.30 (Kindle Edition) or $30 (hardcover) and it's worth every penny.
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      • Profile picture of the author Tim R
        Originally Posted by Maric123 View Post

        okay thanks for the advice, could you be a little more specific in terms of what needs to be changed/improved on the page.

        Any particular copywriting courses or basics i should look for thanks!
        It starts with figuring out who your prospect is and getting into their head. From your page I have no idea who you are targeting, as it is far too broad. Narrow it down.

        Consumers in this niche are not starved for information. They get bombarded with this type of stuff all the time. So what is unique and specific about your offer that will persuade them to check it out?

        Nothing against the book recommended above but it's not relevant for what you need. Go with any of the classics by authors like Schwartz, Schwab, Caples, Hopkins (you can find a list of top books here http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...ooks-ever.html)

        If you are going to spend money on cold traffic it could be an expensive way for you to learn how competitive this niche is.
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  • Profile picture of the author Samfakroon
    Buddy this landing page is in every other PLR and I can guarantee this will not even convert 20%. Get something with a video showing some facts and enticing, you copy should make the visitor feel like thats the only thing he needs, some controversy some involving statements. that's what can be done if you are making a bigger landing page. The other thing you can kill it with is suspense works best, dont say much and leave it in suspense, keep the visitor in a guessing mode. Hope that helps.
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  • Profile picture of the author Maric123
    Thanks guy i will get to work on this!

    Appreciate the help!
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  • Profile picture of the author Maric123
    i found this resource for guiding on how to create a social squeeze page, is it any good

    How to Create a Squeeze Page That Converts at 21.7% (Case Study)
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  • Profile picture of the author Fonzan
    Hello Maric123,

    Here's an example of a squeeze page I would use, short and clear:
    http://dearfonz.com/Free-course-squeezepage
    I imagine this might help....
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    Try this if other courses failed,
    Like, "How to sell affiliate products"
    http://dearfonz.com/
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  • Profile picture of the author Maric123
    Alright i have used the squeeze page listed above as a template let me know what you think now?

    im targeting people who are interested in learning how to build muscle and strength, so mainly beginners.

    Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass | Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass
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  • Profile picture of the author Tim R
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  • Profile picture of the author Tim R
    Dude, you've got a crazy amount of mistakes here and on your blog for a native English speaker. Only the first word of a sentence starts with a capital letter.

    This may seem trivial to you but it shows to readers you are either lazy or incompetent.

    If you don't present yourself as professional, people won't respect you as a professional.

    The English mistakes are just one of many problems, which are probably evident in your lead magnet and autoresponder series as well.

    Unless you're going to hire someone to write for you, then you need to learn some basic fundamentals. It seems like you're looking for the quick fix but there are no shortcuts.

    You don't have a basic understanding of consumer psychology, which is why I told you to check out those copywriting books.

    You think you know who your target market is, but you really have no idea, so you're not going to be able to sell to them.

    Actually invest some time into learning what you're doing if you want to succeed.
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    • Profile picture of the author Maric123
      Originally Posted by Tim R View Post

      Dude, you've got a crazy amount of mistakes here and on your blog for a native English speaker. Only the first word of a sentence starts with a capital letter.

      This may seem trivial to you but it shows to readers you are either lazy or incompetent.

      If you don't present yourself as professional, people won't respect you as a professional.

      The English mistakes are just one of many problems, which are probably evident in your lead magnet and autoresponder series as well.

      Unless you're going to hire someone to write for you, then you need to learn some basic fundamentals. It seems like you're looking for the quick fix but there are no shortcuts.

      You don't have a basic understanding of consumer psychology, which is why I told you to check out those copywriting books.

      You think you know who your target market is, but you really have no idea, so you're not going to be able to sell to them.

      Actually invest some time into learning what you're doing if you want to succeed.
      Okay thanks for the advice, what one book would you reccomend for me to start to improve these highlighted area;s?
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  • Profile picture of the author Tim R
    Well you might want to check out some books that focus on the fundamentals of writing and grammar.

    As for copywriting and consumer psychology, Breakthrough Advertising by Gene Schwartz is one of the best.
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    • Profile picture of the author Maric123
      Originally Posted by Tim R View Post

      Well you might want to check out some books that focus on the fundamentals of writing and grammar.

      As for copywriting and consumer psychology, Breakthrough Advertising by Gene Schwartz is one of the best.
      okay thanks very much! good writing books then?
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      • Profile picture of the author Tim R
        Originally Posted by Maric123 View Post

        okay thanks very much! good writing books then?
        Lol c'mon man, you can't have everything spoon fed to you.

        Go do a search on Amazon and read some reviews.
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  • Profile picture of the author QueenMelanie
    I would concentrate on the content of that page. I read through it, and nothing about it made me feel like I wanted it, you are meant to make people feel they NEED your product by reading your description. Would be worth hiring a good writer to do it if writing isn't your strong point!
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    • Profile picture of the author Maric123
      Originally Posted by QueenMelanie View Post

      I would concentrate on the content of that page. I read through it, and nothing about it made me feel like I wanted it, you are meant to make people feel they NEED your product by reading your description. Would be worth hiring a good writer to do it if writing isn't your strong point!
      thank you i am going to re-do it and if no success there then will be hiring a writer, thank you all for your advice!
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