My Landing Page- Your Thoughts?

Maric123 · 19th Jan 2015, 11:20 AM

Hi Guys i am promoting 3 affiliate products through the use of email marketing, and using facebook ppc and article writing to drive traffic to my squeeze page.

Can you let me know what you think of the landing page, as a incentive for people to sign up to my email list they get a free e-book showing them the 3 ways to build lean muscle mass.

Squeeze Page - Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass

Any thoughts on improvements for conversions etc, Thanks!

Love this forum!

-Elijah

Tim R · 19th Jan 2015, 11:47 AM

That landing page isn't gonna cut it.

It's incredibly generic and looks exactly the same as the thousands of other sites that say the same thing.

There's no hook here whatsoever.

Try and come up with a fresh angle, and read up on some copywriting basics while you're at it.

Maric123 · 19th Jan 2015, 12:01 PM

Originally Posted by Tim R

That landing page isn't gonna cut it.

It's incredibly generic and looks exactly the same as the thousands of other sites that say the same thing.

There's no hook here whatsoever.

Try and come up with a fresh angle, and read up on some copywriting basics while you're at it.

okay thanks for the advice, could you be a little more specific in terms of what needs to be changed/improved on the page.

Any particular copywriting courses or basics i should look for thanks!

vandernath · 19th Jan 2015, 12:20 PM

Originally Posted by Maric123

okay thanks for the advice, could you be a little more specific in terms of what needs to be changed/improved on the page.

Any particular copywriting courses or basics i should look for thanks!

Hey Maric,

For copywriting basics, I recommend "Great Leads: The Six Easiest Ways to Start Any Sales Message" by Michael Masterson and John Forde. It's only $8.30 (Kindle Edition) or $30 (hardcover) and it's worth every penny.

Tim R · 19th Jan 2015, 01:05 PM

Originally Posted by Maric123

okay thanks for the advice, could you be a little more specific in terms of what needs to be changed/improved on the page.

Any particular copywriting courses or basics i should look for thanks!

It starts with figuring out who your prospect is and getting into their head. From your page I have no idea who you are targeting, as it is far too broad. Narrow it down.

Consumers in this niche are not starved for information. They get bombarded with this type of stuff all the time. So what is unique and specific about your offer that will persuade them to check it out?

Nothing against the book recommended above but it's not relevant for what you need. Go with any of the classics by authors like Schwartz, Schwab, Caples, Hopkins (you can find a list of top books here http://www.warriorforum.com/copywrit...ooks-ever.html)

If you are going to spend money on cold traffic it could be an expensive way for you to learn how competitive this niche is.

Samfakroon · 19th Jan 2015, 01:25 PM

Buddy this landing page is in every other PLR and I can guarantee this will not even convert 20%. Get something with a video showing some facts and enticing, you copy should make the visitor feel like thats the only thing he needs, some controversy some involving statements. that's what can be done if you are making a bigger landing page. The other thing you can kill it with is suspense works best, dont say much and leave it in suspense, keep the visitor in a guessing mode. Hope that helps.

Maric123 · 19th Jan 2015, 01:29 PM

Thanks guy i will get to work on this!

Appreciate the help!

Maric123 · 19th Jan 2015, 05:53 PM

i found this resource for guiding on how to create a social squeeze page, is it any good

How to Create a Squeeze Page That Converts at 21.7% (Case Study)

Fonzan · 20th Jan 2015, 08:01 AM

Hello Maric123,

Here's an example of a squeeze page I would use, short and clear:
http://dearfonz.com/Free-course-squeezepage
I imagine this might help....

Maric123 · 20th Jan 2015, 08:31 AM

Originally Posted by Fonzan

Hello Maric123,

Here's an example of a squeeze page I would use, short and clear:
http://dearfonz.com/Free-course-squeezepage
I imagine this might help....

Hi Thanks for sharing this!

The resource i displayed above is it any good to follow and do u know what this page is converting at?

Maric123 · 20th Jan 2015, 12:59 PM

Alright i have used the squeeze page listed above as a template let me know what you think now?

im targeting people who are interested in learning how to build muscle and strength, so mainly beginners.

Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass | Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass

Tim R · 20th Jan 2015, 01:44 PM

Dude, you've got a crazy amount of mistakes here and on your blog for a native English speaker. Only the first word of a sentence starts with a capital letter.

This may seem trivial to you but it shows to readers you are either lazy or incompetent.

If you don't present yourself as professional, people won't respect you as a professional.

The English mistakes are just one of many problems, which are probably evident in your lead magnet and autoresponder series as well.

Unless you're going to hire someone to write for you, then you need to learn some basic fundamentals. It seems like you're looking for the quick fix but there are no shortcuts.

You don't have a basic understanding of consumer psychology, which is why I told you to check out those copywriting books.

You think you know who your target market is, but you really have no idea, so you're not going to be able to sell to them.

Actually invest some time into learning what you're doing if you want to succeed.

Maric123 · 20th Jan 2015, 02:08 PM

Originally Posted by Tim R

Dude, you've got a crazy amount of mistakes here and on your blog for a native English speaker. Only the first word of a sentence starts with a capital letter.

This may seem trivial to you but it shows to readers you are either lazy or incompetent.

If you don't present yourself as professional, people won't respect you as a professional.

The English mistakes are just one of many problems, which are probably evident in your lead magnet and autoresponder series as well.

Unless you're going to hire someone to write for you, then you need to learn some basic fundamentals. It seems like you're looking for the quick fix but there are no shortcuts.

You don't have a basic understanding of consumer psychology, which is why I told you to check out those copywriting books.

You think you know who your target market is, but you really have no idea, so you're not going to be able to sell to them.

Actually invest some time into learning what you're doing if you want to succeed.

Okay thanks for the advice, what one book would you reccomend for me to start to improve these highlighted area;s?

Tim R · 20th Jan 2015, 02:23 PM

Well you might want to check out some books that focus on the fundamentals of writing and grammar.

As for copywriting and consumer psychology, Breakthrough Advertising by Gene Schwartz is one of the best.

Maric123 · 20th Jan 2015, 02:23 PM

Originally Posted by Tim R

Well you might want to check out some books that focus on the fundamentals of writing and grammar.

As for copywriting and consumer psychology, Breakthrough Advertising by Gene Schwartz is one of the best.

okay thanks very much! good writing books then?

Tim R · 20th Jan 2015, 02:35 PM

Originally Posted by Maric123

okay thanks very much! good writing books then?

Lol c'mon man, you can't have everything spoon fed to you.

Go do a search on Amazon and read some reviews.

QueenMelanie · 20th Jan 2015, 02:36 PM

I would concentrate on the content of that page. I read through it, and nothing about it made me feel like I wanted it, you are meant to make people feel they NEED your product by reading your description. Would be worth hiring a good writer to do it if writing isn't your strong point!

Maric123 · 20th Jan 2015, 02:43 PM

Originally Posted by QueenMelanie

I would concentrate on the content of that page. I read through it, and nothing about it made me feel like I wanted it, you are meant to make people feel they NEED your product by reading your description. Would be worth hiring a good writer to do it if writing isn't your strong point!

thank you i am going to re-do it and if no success there then will be hiring a writer, thank you all for your advice!

19th Jan 2015, 11:20 AM	#1
Maric123 IM Newbie Join Date: 2013 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 25 Thanks: 11 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: Hi Guys i am promoting 3 affiliate products through the use of email marketing, and using facebook ppc and article writing to drive traffic to my squeeze page. Can you let me know what you think of the landing page, as a incentive for people to sign up to my email list they get a free e-book showing them the 3 ways to build lean muscle mass. Squeeze Page - Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass Any thoughts on improvements for conversions etc, Thanks! Love this forum! -Elijah
	Learn How To Build Lean Muscle In This FREE Ebook!

19th Jan 2015, 11:47 AM	#2
Tim R HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2013 Posts: 268 Thanks: 71 Thanked 166 Times in 116 Posts	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: That landing page isn't gonna cut it. It's incredibly generic and looks exactly the same as the thousands of other sites that say the same thing. There's no hook here whatsoever. Try and come up with a fresh angle, and read up on some copywriting basics while you're at it.

19th Jan 2015, 01:25 PM	#6
Samfakroon HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2011 Location: Kenya Posts: 306 Thanks: 7 Thanked 129 Times in 79 Posts Blog Entries: 2	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: Buddy this landing page is in every other PLR and I can guarantee this will not even convert 20%. Get something with a video showing some facts and enticing, you copy should make the visitor feel like thats the only thing he needs, some controversy some involving statements. that's what can be done if you are making a bigger landing page. The other thing you can kill it with is suspense works best, dont say much and leave it in suspense, keep the visitor in a guessing mode. Hope that helps.

19th Jan 2015, 01:29 PM	#7
Maric123 IM Newbie Join Date: 2013 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 25 Thanks: 11 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: Thanks guy i will get to work on this! Appreciate the help!
	Learn How To Build Lean Muscle In This FREE Ebook!

19th Jan 2015, 05:53 PM	#8
Maric123 IM Newbie Join Date: 2013 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 25 Thanks: 11 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: i found this resource for guiding on how to create a social squeeze page, is it any good How to Create a Squeeze Page That Converts at 21.7% (Case Study)
	Learn How To Build Lean Muscle In This FREE Ebook!

20th Jan 2015, 08:01 AM	#9
Fonzan Active Warrior Join Date: 2012 Location: Leeuwarden, The Netherlands Posts: 39 Thanks: 26 Thanked 16 Times in 14 Posts	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: Hello Maric123, Here's an example of a squeeze page I would use, short and clear: http://dearfonz.com/Free-course-squeezepage I imagine this might help....
	Try this if other courses failed, Like, "How to sell affiliate products" http://dearfonz.com/

20th Jan 2015, 12:59 PM	#11
Maric123 IM Newbie Join Date: 2013 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 25 Thanks: 11 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: Alright i have used the squeeze page listed above as a template let me know what you think now? im targeting people who are interested in learning how to build muscle and strength, so mainly beginners. Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass \| Learn How To Build Lean Muscle Mass
	Learn How To Build Lean Muscle In This FREE Ebook!

20th Jan 2015, 01:44 PM	#12
Tim R HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2013 Posts: 268 Thanks: 71 Thanked 166 Times in 116 Posts	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: Dude, you've got a crazy amount of mistakes here and on your blog for a native English speaker. Only the first word of a sentence starts with a capital letter. This may seem trivial to you but it shows to readers you are either lazy or incompetent. If you don't present yourself as professional, people won't respect you as a professional. The English mistakes are just one of many problems, which are probably evident in your lead magnet and autoresponder series as well. Unless you're going to hire someone to write for you, then you need to learn some basic fundamentals. It seems like you're looking for the quick fix but there are no shortcuts. You don't have a basic understanding of consumer psychology, which is why I told you to check out those copywriting books. You think you know who your target market is, but you really have no idea, so you're not going to be able to sell to them. Actually invest some time into learning what you're doing if you want to succeed.

20th Jan 2015, 02:23 PM	#14
Tim R HyperActive Warrior Join Date: 2013 Posts: 268 Thanks: 71 Thanked 166 Times in 116 Posts	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: Well you might want to check out some books that focus on the fundamentals of writing and grammar. As for copywriting and consumer psychology, Breakthrough Advertising by Gene Schwartz is one of the best.

20th Jan 2015, 02:36 PM	#17
QueenMelanie marketer since 2009 Join Date: 2015 Posts: 492 Thanks: 82 Thanked 105 Times in 81 Posts	Re: My Landing Page- Your Thoughts? Share on: I would concentrate on the content of that page. I read through it, and nothing about it made me feel like I wanted it, you are meant to make people feel they NEED your product by reading your description. Would be worth hiring a good writer to do it if writing isn't your strong point!
	Free Download: Super-Easy Wordpress Guide