nmatrix9

Hey Folks!

It's that time again, a newbie has decided to enter the fantastic world of affiliate marketing and CPA's. I'd like some brutal (but constructive) feed back on this landing page below. Your input would be greatly appreciated.


Burn Body Fat Quickly And Naturally - BioHumansBioHumans

Thanks,
nmatrix9

ewenmack

Make it either for males or females,
not both so the reader knows it's for him or her.

Remove health tips at the top because,
once again it needs to be very specific.

Give a clue what the one thing that burns body fat
and expand on that one thing, for example new research,
compare it with other fat burning methods, what authority says so.

Remove subscribe from the button as this scares people off because
it sounds like they are going to get ongoing emails which they don't want another
they have to unsubscribe from.

Stay on theme with the button by using words the reader
would use when he or she wants it.

If you are going to use the word 'burn' change it to burns,
because it makes it sound effortless on a very subtle level.

That alone has made a 3x increase in response in another market.

Best,
Doctor E. Vile

.

MikeLX

Hi all!

I would also add some background.

And testing is quite useful process.

Sean DeSilva

Short critique: provide a unique angle of attack for your prospects to see results.

Longer version in the following video:

Ad Agency Copywriters Sell MORE. Need a shot of extra sales? I specialize in high converting sales pages, Clickbank offers, and product launch email sequences. (Click here to learn more).

Designs1

Hey,

Great start for sure

Couple changes i would do:

- Favicon, the current one looks very weird

- Colour of the "subscribe now" button to different than rest of the page to make it stand out more (maybe red, orange?)

- "get free access to the FREE REPORT!" sounds a bit weird with repeating maybe -> "get instant access to the FREE REPORT!"

- Copyright © 2015 BIOHUMANS NETWORK | Privacy | Terms & Conditions | DMCA Notice
Place these links to the very bottom of the page

- Have different header. Put images of fit people with their faces visible (draws more attention).

There you go!

[WSO DESIGN] Stunning :: Professional :: Beautiful - WSO SALES PAGES | ECOVERS | BANNERS | HEADERS - Must See!

joyce chesley

This page very simple but i think you will success

alvinchua91

Content:
Okay here's what I think, the '10%' is reasonable, but it may not work tremendously online as a lead capture page because it doesn't 'capture people's imagination'.
People want things which work tremendously well in solving their problems. E.g. if your best client lost 25% of his/her body weight and it's 50 pounds, you might want to say something like, 'Lose up to 50 pounds....e.t.c.'

Layout
I think the layout is ok

Design
Somehow the way the colors come together with the images and contrast, it gives me the feeling that the content in the report would be some rehashed information. Perhaps you want to play down the 'free' part since most people alr assume that anything that requires exchange of email is free. You want to increase the perceived value of the book, by making it seem like you're giving away something very premium and would normally never be revealed given the 'sacred' nature.

ChrisNosal

There is no actual promise a person can clearly imagine.

Ask most to imagine what they look like after losing 10% body fat, it's not even an image we can calculate in our head to build a picture of.

Then you don't actually offer anything but ideas - feel more "youthful and energetic".

Imagine that versus "get rock hard 6-pack abs, and be able to run 2 miles effortlessly" - specific real-world things you can actually PICTURE in your brain.

They look at 10+ sites like yours, your opt-in offers no specific incentive - I have no idea what's in the free report, no idea what I'll gain by giving you my email, and if you're like 10+ other sites you just end up in a pile of emails that never gets read by someone even if you do get their email address.

You need to clarify your offer and find FOCUS if you're going to get your customer's attention.

Not to sound negative, but it's not 1999, and when hundreds of people have sites identical to this, this kind of marketing isn't going to get you any attention.

The IM Institute

Simple, clean design. I liked it.

princy91

It is simple and nice one but still it can be improved in terms of colors.

Website development and maintenance | SEO | E-commerce solutions | Mobile development | Joomla website development

nmatrix9

ewenmack, MikeLX, Sean DeSilva, Designs1, joyce chesley, alvinchua91, ChrisNosal, The IM Institute and princy91. I can't thank you guys (and gals) enough for your honest and razor sharp observations. Iam compiling all of your critiques and suggestions into a list and building multiple landing pages for A/B testing.

Thanks,
nmatrix9