[TrueStory]

http://www.strongwebpresence.com/free-report

It's a free 15 point checklist of what businesses do wrong when start advertising and marketing online.

The niche is self explaining, but do tell me if you cannot tell me what my site is about.

Also should I use "I", "my" or "We", "our" as a company?

it's *mostly* me but I'm going to hire some people soon

Thank you!

[dmarc]

Hey man, for your first effort, that's not bad. Not bad at all. That being said, there are some changes I would make.

I'd change "Those" to "These." I'd do what you can to get the entire opt-in box, including the submit button, completely above the fold. It really plays up the pain and fear of missing out angles, which definitely work, but I would also indicate some clear, direct benefits or quantifiable results to be had with what you are offering. You can keep with the "don't make these mistakes" theme, and say something like "Avoid this mistake and get 3x more leads each day!"

Also, I'm assuming that you are using the "business type" field to segment your list. Personally, I'd find a way to segment after the subscriber is on the list. That extra field on your squeeze page could decrease your opt-ins more than you might think. Your page and report seem to be targeting a narrow enough audience that I don't think that business type field is necessary, and in fact i think it is detrimental.

Really though, for your first free gift squeeze page, not a bad effort at all.

[savidge4]

Really isn't that bad... I do have to ask.. what's more important - your logo, or getting your optin box above the fold?


I would tighten up the headline text "15 things that are destroying your online business" set that into 2 lines. "find out what not..." I would use only 1 line of text. remove the logo from the top of the page, and your optin is pretty damn close to above the fold.

[dawoodkhan97]

I would like to congratulate you on your very first squeeze page
You have taken your first step!
As far as the page goes, it is clean and to the point
BUT your headline is covering too much space due to which
the user has to scroll down. (results in bad conversions)
Try to align your "Claim Your Free Guide" at center.
Overall it is fine

Dawood Khan

[TrueStory]

Thank you for the kind words!

I am going to implement the following things, as I've noticed a running pattern in feedback I got:

1. lose/change/minify the logo. No, it's not important, I can shove it somewhere else, hide it away, it's crap logo i got for $5 on fiverr... . If any of you say, "It sucks donkey balls" - I will not get mad. It'll-do for now. But less of it.
2. Two line header with slightly different phrasing. I started with ugly one. Real ugly one. Then I tweak it, tweak it some more, and got this. As you can see it varies throughout the page.
3. Bullet points are too vague - def. agree with you on that one. Re-reading them, they sound too generic.
4. Add benefit for end use - It might be clear who the user is, but it isn't clearly answering the "What's in it for me" question. Why should they opt-in? I can probably do that in bullet points.

A little bit off-topic: can someone help me overcome this barrier when creating a squeeze page:

I've read so much on psychology and marketing that I can see through it. Like Jimmy-on-south-park-distinguishes-sponsored-content-from-news good. (Ridding the World of Ads - Video Clip | South Park Studios)

So basically I feel like my visitors will clearly see through my attempt to click-bait, trigger emotions of fear and urgency and will consider me another gimmicky salesman.

Deep down I know what works, not only i've seen it used successfully (sometimes even falling for it myself), but another part of me screams: "Be different! Do not write clickbait! Do not press for sale. Be genuine!"

I guess, I feel like a fraud a little, by claiming hyped up benefits what to me seems to be an ordinary decent content.

I mean, I feel like I am selling something to be 150% while it's delivering only a 100. I don't doubt my content, I know it's useful and I know it will help, but it's not the revolutionary method as I claim to be.

Where am i wrong with this thought pattern?

[TrueStory]

Done.

15 Things That Are Killing Your Online Brand! - FREE Report

[supereek]

looks good for a first-timer.. pull traffic and test it i'd say.

[savidge4]

To answer the "off-topic" question. There are 2 sides to the overall marketing psychology. One is yes the click bait mentality, and the other is simply deliver solid informative content. Become the authority as it were.

this page could do just that. they click from a what I will assume is a social ad about 15 things that could be killing your business. How refreshing would it be to actually land on a page that HAD the 15 items listed?

The call to action then becomes something to the effect if any of these issues are holding your business back, contact us for a consult. To join our newsletter with other great tips and blah blah blah enter your information here.

you have removed the "hype". you have taken a actual step in pre-qualifying your traffic. Better focused members in your list will always in the long run pay off as long as you maintain a standard in information and provide a solid service.

Originally Posted by TrueStory

A little bit off-topic: can someone help me overcome this barrier when creating a squeeze page:

I've read so much on psychology and marketing that I can see through it. Like Jimmy-on-south-park-distinguishes-sponsored-content-from-news good. (Ridding the World of Ads - Video Clip | South Park Studios)

So basically I feel like my visitors will clearly see through my attempt to click-bait, trigger emotions of fear and urgency and will consider me another gimmicky salesman.

Deep down I know what works, not only i've seen it used successfully (sometimes even falling for it myself), but another part of me screams: "Be different! Do not write clickbait! Do not press for sale. Be genuine!"

I guess, I feel like a fraud a little, by claiming hyped up benefits what to me seems to be an ordinary decent content.

I mean, I feel like I am selling something to be 150% while it's delivering only a 100. I don't doubt my content, I know it's useful and I know it will help, but it's not the revolutionary method as I claim to be.

Where am i wrong with this thought pattern?

[TrueStory]

Originally Posted by savidge4

..... they click from a what I will assume is a social ad about 15 things that could be killing your business. How refreshing would it be to actually land on a page that HAD the 15 items listed?....

yeaah! I just had that awesome moment when someone points out something extremely straight forward and simple that I completely overlooked.

I've been focusing too much on lead generation and capture page. While my content is in the works, (for both follow through newsletters and blog) you made extremely valuable point (which i completely missed):

This answers my next question, "why that page aint converting shit" ...it will not, because, i am not a well known authority in the industry (yet) and I offered NO value yet....

I will rewrite that.

I am giving away report for free anyways, might as well present it as Value Up Front and ask for subscription.

[TrueStory]

I created a secondary simpler page at instapages:

15 Social Media Guides

I am curious to see how it does.

Currently I am running FB ads and some AdWords,.... low budgets, no conversion so far, actually one. Probably someone from here.

I got 35 pageviews last night and 48 today. 1 signed up.

Pretty low for paid ads.

[restless42]

I like your first design more.
Since I'm new to this, it's hard for me to say why exactly but I feel more like interacting with the first page. Maybe just because there's a bit more going on.

Maybe you should try the same Ads for the first page and see which converts better? Let the numbers speak.

[rossle]

This is my opinion on your two landing pages.

From a thought process point of view of the user, they are both very negative sites.

What I mean is, you are asking the user to admit that they are failing at something ie, their marketing campaigns.

Thats not something people will wish to freely admit, because its admission of failure.

One of the strongest emotions we all dread.

Remember, when people buy stuff or download freebies, they do so based on a positive emotional decision in the belief the decision will enhance their lives,

They will be reluctant to offer up an email submit if its raises that admission of failure, even if they are a failure, they will not choose to admit it.

I'll give you an example. I ran a landing page in the health niche which was designed to scare the user with thoughts of poor health, in the hope they would take action and download my freebie.

Best conversion rate I ever saw was 14%

I then ran a new landing page, using exactly the same traffic source, selling benefits, positive emotions and the same freebie.

Conversion rate was 33%

For example, your headline reads "Are You Destroying Your Business Through These 15 Online Marketing Mistakes?"

If I was, would I want to admit this to a stranger?

Why not change the headline to "Discover These 15 New Techniques That Will Turbocharge Your Online Exposure"

Now that would get my attention. Why? Because its sells something positive that will enhance my life.

Hope this helps...

[Mark Singletary]

Immediately is misspelled.

Does every bullet point need an exclamation mark?

Mark