tonymtl

Hello everyone,

a month or so ago I posted my first landing page and got some feedback which was helpful. Since then I've been learning and trying different things and would like once more your opinion on where I am currently and what I can do to improve.

here's the page:

https://bouge.fitness/bouge

ps. I have not reviewed the language, that's the last thing I'll do (with help, english is not my first language).

I know my first fold needs improvement but I'm stuck as to what to do.

thanks!

dburk

Hi tonymtl,

Here are a few critiques that you might want to consider:

Your top banner looks great on mobile devices with small screens, not so much on larger desktop screens. It appears that your top banner is using fluid design rather than responsive. As a result the font size is too small for desktops. The banner appears as a hero unit on mobile, but looks more like a 3rd party banner ad on the desktop. That is because the font-size and banner height is not scaling up for larger screen sizes. Responsive Web Design, if implemented properly, will use CSS @media queries to recognize and adjust elements based on viewable screen size.

Your headline is way smaller than your sub-headline, or you have placed your sub-headline above your headline. This makes the intended eye path less clear, will likely lead to unsupervised thinking, and increase friction which can harm conversion rates.

Your top headline "Stop wasting your time on the treadmill" is action-centric rather than value-centric. Value-centric headlines typically perform way better than action-centric headlines.

I recommend that you test the following changes to your hero unit (top banner):

1. Make it responsive so that it scales up and looks better on a larger screen.
2. Clean up the eye path in your top banner by using the largest font-size on the top headline to make is clear which headline should be read first and in which order.
3. Improve the headline by using a bold, specific, value-centric statement, or an intriguing question.

I also like to include a CTA within the hero unit, this gets users clicking right away, so consider testing that as well.


Something more like this:
Call-To-Action

Your CTAs are hidden in the content it is not obvious that they are something user's should click on. Your CTAs seem to blend into the content because they are formatted to appear as separate page sections. They don't look like links, and they don't look like buttons. Fix this by making your CTA's appear as buttons, or links, something that people should obviously be clicking on.

Lack of Clarity

Make you offer more clear. currently there is no mention, that I could easily spot, you are selling an ebook, videos, membership, or whatever it is that you are offering. It's not clear if users are signing up for a monthly subscription, or a one time payment. It's not clear what users will receive, is it a video? A course? An ebook? A physical book? Access to a membership website? One-on-one coaching? Gym membership? Onsite training?

There are references to all sorts of things in your sales copy and then an unclear CTA. Lack of clarity is the #1 conversion killer. Make it clear what you are selling and what users get for their money.

Test, Don't Make Blind Changes

There are lots more that I could mention but I think it best to focus on the biggest issues first and perform some actual A/B split tests to verify that you are getting measurable and significant improvements from your changes.

HTH,

Don Burk

* Get Results - Outsource Your PPC Management |
* Don Burk Advertising & Marketing - www.donburk.com

DWaters

Overall I like the appearance. I agree with the poster above that the call to action could be a bit clearer.

Also it is not completely clear exactly what the offer is for - is it a membership site? is it a video course? is it an ebook on training? is it a combination of these or something else?
Also are you capturing email addresses? is there any kind of pre-sell free incentive to get people interested?

Those are my thoughts....

tonymtl

Thanks guys the for suggestion, really good.

I should of mentioned that I have not optimized the page for mobile yet. I plan to do this last.

Doesnt "I'll make you lose weight" value centric rather than action-centric ? I can bump the size of "I'll make you lose weight" to a much bigger size while keeping the stop waiting your time smaller. Or i'll test and just dump one or the other. I like the fact that you changed stop wasting your time to a question. Makes it much better

You both mentioned the lack of clarity on the product. What if I added a one liner in the hero unit. something like:

"Bouge is a weight loss workout program that will blabla


You mentioned that there should be an immediate CTA in the hero unit. As this is my "sales page" Learn more would lead to the buying page and not a page to learn.

I will change all CTA banners to buttons and integrate them into their respective folds.

"There are references to all sorts of things in your sales copy and then an unclear CTA"


I tried to follow a path "p.a.s.t.o.r." for the page but I guess its too messy. I'm having a hard time streamlining everything so it makes perfect sense, any pointers?




I also plan on adding an email capture popup once i'm done with the page. one that will open after x seconds on the site I think.

To help with conversions I'll also have a live support chat on the landing page.

Thank you both for your help. I really appreciate it.

dburk

Hi tonymtl,

Yes, I agree, that is a value-centric message, but it was not your top headline, it was apparently a sub-headline since it was below another heading, right?

Your top heading (a.k.a. headline) was an action-centric message rather than a value- centric message. So, I changed it to a question, and increased the font-size in my reply as an example of how to use the order, and size, of the top heading to make it more prominent, thus making the intended sequence for reading your content (eye path) more clear.

Because the second heading in the top banner is a much larger font it makes it unclear which heading is meant to be the top headline, and which is meant to be the sub-headline. More importantly, it creates an unclear eye path, which leads to 2 problems:

1. Unsupervised thinking. Some people will read the top line first, because that is how we are trained to read, (left to right, top to bottom), but because the second line is much larger it will lead to many people reading the message out of the intended order, making the sequence of your message inconsistent, and test result data will be less reliable because of inconsistency in the message being tested.
2. Use of an unnatural eye path increases friction and reduces cognitive momentum.

Both of those are likely to reduce your conversions especially since they occur at the very beginning of your message. These are common issues that are known to increase bounce rates.

Sorry to say, but that is still way too vague. You need to be more specific.

"Workout programs" come in many formats, it does not make it clear if this is a book, a website, a DVD, an ebook, a series of books and videos, a program at a local gym, one-on-one coaching, sessions with a personal trainer, or something else. How do we know what it is? If we are unsure, we certainly are not going to make a purchase just to find out what it is, right?

Your CTA "Get instant access" adds to the confusion because it is unclear exactly why access would need to be granted. Access to what? A private membership website? A private gym? An online course? It is just way too vague, especially since your sales copy has yet to reveal exactly what it is that they will receive, calling something a program is a very general way of describing something, you need to be specific.

I suggested you test a CTA button in the top banner. The idea is to get your audience to engage with your content as quickly as possible by adding interactive elements above the fold. A CTA button in the top banner often works well at getting early engagement, as long as you use a low risk CTA message that induces very little anxiety. "Learn more" requires little investment on the user's part and is generally regarded as a low risk, low anxiety interaction by users. Linking the Learn more button to an anchor that scrolls the user to the next section is a common practice that often works well.

In addition to the potential positive impact on user engagement levels, it creates a measurable event that can be treated as a micro-conversion for optimizing your content as well as your traffic sources .Visitors that engage with your website rather than bounce can be tracked and used for Remarketing audiences, or simply optimizing your marketing campaigns.

Nothing wrong with following a content framework, as long as it is working well for you. Don't get stuck on using just one single framework, it's better to test a few different ones to see which will perform best with your particular audience segment.

That particular content formula (PASTOR) seems to work for advertorial style landing pages that are commonly used when targeting low commercial intent keywords, or native advertising. It might not be the best landing page content formula for every traffic source. I recommend you test it against other formats to see which performs best for each of your various audience segments.

The key element that seems to be missing, or otherwise buried in your content, is your value proposition, without that, all your other content will not reliably generate conversions. You might even be able to swap all of your PASTOR content for a short and sweet value proposition and get more conversions. Your PASTOR content should be used to prominently feature, and re-enforce, your value proposition (the reason people buy), not to bury you value proposition, nor as a replacement for it.

The whole point of your sales copy is to express your value proposition. It doesn't matter which content framework or formula you follow if you leave out the value proposition then all your sales copy is pointless.

Any content, that isn't helping to express your primary value proposition in some way, is probably hurting your conversion rates. Look at every bit of your content and ask yourself if it supports your primary value proposition in some obvious way? If not then change it, or remove it.

* Get Results - Outsource Your PPC Management |
* Don Burk Advertising & Marketing - www.donburk.com