Lander not converting...

by Roi07
2 replies
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Hello,
I have a client that sells a self-improvement course. He gets loads of subscribers to his lists every day, yet the bounce rate is insane. There's an average of 1:30 minutes that people stay on the page and then bounce.

They don't watch the video, which is why the don't understand the value and therefore - aren't buying.

Sure, we can later on do some email marketing, but we want to increase the "instant" conversion rate.

This is the pitch page: https://secretsbook.org/secrets-book-expose/
And prior to it there's a squeeze page: https://secretsbook.org/

Can someone suggest or think what should we do?

Thank you.
#converting #lander
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  • Profile picture of the author SARubin
    I'm not sure where to begin, with what's wrong here. I don't want to be too hard on you, but you did ask for help, and the only honest help I can give you right now, is to just give you some straight up "tough love."

    Let's start with your squeeze page...

    For starters, I have a hard time believing you're getting actual humans to sign up on this squeeze page (are you certain they're not just automated bots signing up?)


    Here's why I'm a bit skeptical...




    The headline says "How did it happend?"

    For starters... "happend" is not a word. And if you meant "happened"... you would have a broken sentence for a headline.

    Assuming you meant "How did it happen?"... then the question begs... what are you talking about? (how did "what" happen?)


    So the first thing to do, is spend some time working on a new headline. Make it something that either explains what you're offering, or calls out your target audience. Or at the very least, give me a clue what your website (and/or your offer) is about.

    Then, just below the video... what's up with the cartoon fox wearing a trench coat?

    There's a bit of a disconnect here, and I'm getting mixed signals from your brand. (Are you a serious historical scholar? Or a Meme character?)


    Finally, the body copy vaguely talks about a "secret of creation" that has been stolen from me, and hidden from me, for 3800 years.

    Well, not only is my "B.S. hype alarm" already going off, but I haven't been alive for 3800 years. So I don't know whom "they" stole it from... but they didn't steal it from me.


    Do you see what I'm getting at here? There's really nothing credible about this page. Which is why I'm having a difficult time believing that actual humans are signing up for the email list.



    And the sales page isn't much better. It's so full of hype, grammar errors, and typos, that it lacks any credibility.

    And the gimmicky little tricks, like the countdown timer for the disappearing discount (that restarts every time I revisit the page) and the other social (viewer) metrics, that are questionably legitimate (at best)?

    It all makes sense as to why people are spending a minute and a half reading the page, and quickly deciding it isn't worth losing another 20 minutes of their life to watch the video.


    I'm sorry if this all sounds harsh to you,. But I've actually edited my response, (and toned it down) from what I was originally thinking,


    So here's my final suggestion for you...

    Tell your client to hire a native English speaking sales writer. One who can rewrite the entire sales message (on both pages) Or, at least find an English speaking proof reader, to go over the copy you already have, and check for grammar, and spelling errors.

    And I'd also recommend toning down the hyped up language, and the gimmicky sales tricks. You're already in an industry that's full of "snake oil" salesmen (selling the "secret" to a happy, fulfilled life of abundance)

    So, if you actually do have a product that's different from the normal B.S. then you need to separate yourself from the other con artists selling similar "secrets"




    Originally Posted by Roi07 View Post

    Hello,
    I have a client that sells a self-improvement course. He gets loads of subscribers to his lists every day, yet the bounce rate is insane. There's an average of 1:30 minutes that people stay on the page and then bounce.

    They don't watch the video, which is why the don't understand the value and therefore - aren't buying.

    Sure, we can later on do some email marketing, but we want to increase the "instant" conversion rate.

    This is the pitch page: https://secretsbook.org/secrets-book-expose/
    And prior to it there's a squeeze page: https://secretsbook.org/

    Can someone suggest or think what should we do?

    Thank you.
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    "It all boils down to psychology, and numbers"
    SARubin - Direct Response Copywriter / Advertising and Marketing Aficionado
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  • Profile picture of the author R0b328
    Hey op, the first thing I noticed is this: The video is too big and you have to scroll down to see it fully, the same with the images below. Try adjusting the video size to be immediately visible when a visitor lands on that page.
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