Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

Hi

I'm sending most of my traffic from Facebook to my landing page.

Its got low conversions of around 1/2%

Any ideas on ways i can boost this?

I've tried other offers such as webinars but that did not go down aswell.

http://goo.gl/EEYnNr

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

My opinion take the Telephone that you are asking off and Company..

also i will take your left up logo off so the page is in my face .... also to mach yellow :)

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

I like where you're going with it, having one central theme and a specific market. But you're missing the "punch in the gut" pain point.

Tell me this, what specific negative experiences will I have if I make these "mistakes?" Spell it out in clear, specific language that paints a picture in my mind. Then, tell me benefit of avoiding these mistakes and pain the same clear picture.

For example, if this were about marketing, you might say:

• "Discover 5 embarrassing marketing mistakes that are secretly siphoning THOUSANDS of dollars in LOST SALES out of your business EVERY month....hint: you made one of these mistakes today already."
• "Get your hands on a dirty little persuasion stunt that gets your reader to make a 'semi-buying decision' within just 7 seconds of seeing your ad."

Also, your spam disclaimer is too long. Looks like fine print. Use something simpler like:

'Your privacy is 100% guaranteed. Your information will never be shared.'

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

It looks pretty good...

though I would get rid of the whole first part of it where you have the fray header....
it just makes the whole page go down too much which makes it look weird...

One more little thing is where you write "Kevin Lyon’s free report on the 5 biggest mistakes Accountants make with auto-enrolment." - one rule in copywriting is that if you have an unnecessary word you can get rid of and keep the message - get rid of it ! => I'm not sure whether using your name do any good to your squeeze or worst... (do they know who you are? are you some kind of Authority in their eyes? etc.).

"This report will help you understand the auto enrolment process and how to avoid any hidden costs or compliance issues. I will also show you a solution that will take the pain of auto-enrolment away and how you can profit from it."

Make it shorter like - Understand Auto Enrolment Process - how to avoid hidden costs, compliance issues and take the pain of auto-enrolment AWAY to make more profits "
(Don't really understand what that means, but just the make it shorter :-) )

****Make the video auto-play****

Last thing I would A/B test would definitely be the actual video... :-)
It looks like you friend to make it "cool" with the nice sounds etc... but I'm not sure your AUDIENCE -
Accountants (right?) will find this kind of video complaint enough... or attracting...
try to test a more "Serious" version of it VS the "Cool & Young" version - see which gives you better results. plus, make sure you talk TO THEM on the video... it kindda looks like you weren't really talking to them, and looking all over the place...
make it Cool (!) :-) again, VS "serious".

Last thing, is your targeting - can you explain some more about how you target? (FB ads can be GREAT if you target properly, and awful if you don't....)

Good Luck :-)

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

Hi guys

Thanks for the help, iv made a few changes from the feedback, I think the main thing will be not having the telephone requirement because people are quite resistant about that.

I'm also going to start A/B test with different videos and put them on auto-play.

@sethczerepak I think this type of marketing is great for standing out, example being I recently ran a test on some of our ad's changing the title from;

"Learn the 5 biggest mistakes accountants are making in auto-enrolment"

to

"Discover 5 shocking auto-enrolment mistakes that are killing accountants"

This proved to be very effective but we were having high bounce rates so I think maybe it over promises, this is also because the mistakes are not that deadly just things that can and should be avoided?

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

this line "Companies That Also Use Our Soloution" should read "Companies That Use Our Solution"

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

Also

@daskalel we are targeting them by a few things; age range, 30 above. Employment title i.e chattered accountant etc etc and interests i.e accounting magazines, positions, titles.

Another question i have is...

Obviously facebook being facebook most of our ad's are being seen on mobile. My personal experience is I don't usually do opt-ins on my phone as its quite time consuming? What do you guys think about mobile vs desktop opt-ins?

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

Check my post again. You're still not giving a specific impact or benefit.

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

While the layout and structure work pretty well, here are some things that I would change.

1. As @sethczerepak pointed out, you are looking to solve a pain point or to provide a benefit with the main headline. You offer to teach people something by saying they can learn the "ugly truth" but that isn't compelling enough. If they dont know there are ugly truths, then it's not a big enough draw to get them to learn them. The bullet points under the video, in the "What you’ll learn from the report" section are real benefits. I would change my USP to a benefit like one of those.

2. Add some emotion to the headline. Try some of these:
"Did you know you can profit from auto-enrolment?"
"Your Accountant may be costing you money by making these Auto-Enrolment mistakes"
"These 5 Auto-Enrolment tips can save you money, or even make you money"

Look at your benefit bullets. There are lots of emotional ties in those to test headlines with.

3. The logo header is too big. I would reduce that height by about 50% and give more real estate to your headline.

4. Take "Free Report..." out of the headline. I know you're trying to put people at ease right up front but it reduces the value of the report right away. Build up the interest and desire with the headline and benefit points, then let the reader know it's free. Maybe in the opt-in form button.

5. Test the opt-in form with as minimal information as you need. Try one with just the email address.

6. Test your call to action button. Try "Send me the free report". "Send me the report (newline) It's Free!".

7. I would change "What people say about us" to "What people are saying about us". The former sounds like past tense. Make it active. People should be talking about you, rather than just having talked about you.

8. Under that section, make the testimonials a 3 column layout and make the headshots bigger. Right now the testimonials are unbalanced, the photos are all different sizes and it creates an unfinished feeling.

9. "How to stay complaint with auto-enrolment" should be "How to stay compliant with auto-enrolment"

10. Since you are marketing this through Facebook, why aren't you using share buttons anywhere? If I clicked to this from Facebook, I'm in the Facebook mindset and would probably want to share this if I found it useful.

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

Is this better? http://auto-enrolment.co/landing-page/

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

I would suggest trying something radically different.

(1) Add one more step to the process (sounds contrarian, I know).
Send people from FB to a well-written blog post, before directing them from the blog post to the landing page.

(2) Shoot a new video with the "5 top mistakes", give away 2 and ask them for details to continue watching the remaining 3.

(3) Create a different lead magnate, the "top mistakes..." type lead magnate has been overused.

All sound bonkers but worth a try.

Re: Another Landing Page Critique Needed
 

Decrease the height of your header so more content is visible above the fold