[magikb]

Hi there!

I would like to ask for your expert's feedback on my new sales page here:
I want to make a digital magazine for you

I thought it was good but few people crashed my thoughts....

I am very curious what you have to say.

Thank you

[JKirby]

Hey Magik,

It's a decent sales page... but there's big, quick fixes that can make it even better. I'll try to wrap it up in a few points:

1. You have multiple things going on in your banner/headline. Make it a bit more concise and to the point
2. You don't really specify the benefits that someone will get by having you create the magazine until later in the sales pitch. You know the benefits, but remind your audience up front. Most sales pages only have a couple seconds to sell your services!
3. You have an absurd amount of checkmarks and arrow bullets. Break them up by using different backgrounds (dark grey for one point, white for the next etc)
4. I know that you're a very pretty man... but 4 images of yourself is a bit overkill <3

Edit: Also, if you're using buttons for additional information (the three blue buttons) try to break up your sales pages so it's not as long, or take them out.

[magikb]

Dea JKirby

Thank you for your valuable feedback. I will definitely use your advice.
Could you comment on the welcome video? is it OK?

[helpandinfo]

Hi there,
The page is way too busy at the top for me. You have to be ABSOLUTELY CLEAR about what I am getting in less than 20 seconds. I wasn't sure what you were offering in longer than that time.. Take a look at my site (I'm not doing this for a visitor honest! ) and see how long it takes you to see what I am offering..

[mariajames1]

This is very important and useful information you guys are sharing it will really help many people for optimizing there sale pages..

[DrewIM]

Overall the page is waaaay too busy. You have too many font styles, weights, sizes, etc.. Makes it really hard to read.

Also, since you are selling something visual (a digital magazine), people are going to judge the look of your sales page much more as a reflection of your product. You don't want people thinking their magazines are going to look like your sales page

Here is what I would do:

1. Get rid of the banner above the video and put the headline there instead
2. Take those buttons out from under the video and put them in a header (you don't want people clicking away from the page before they have even read your sales letter)
3. As JKirby said, remove all the pictures of yourself. Having the video is enough.
4. Stick to 2-3 font choices for the whole page and keep everything consistent.

I threw this super rough quick comp together for you. It obviously needs more work, but it should give you a general idea of what I am saying.

Simple is always better...

[Luke Dennison]

You've gone for a nice type of sales page. I would have a buy now button under the video as well personaly.

[DrewIM]

Originally Posted by Luke Dennison

You've gone for a nice type of sales page. I would have a buy now button under the video as well personaly.

Normally putting a buy button under a video is a great idea but the problem here is that his video is only 1:30 and the price of the product is $499.

At $499, you are going to need to give people more information before telling them the price or your bounce rate is going to be through the roof.

[peekay]

Not sure about the long form sales letter type landing page.

Marketers are a lot more savvy than that.

"Boosting their credibility" is certainly not one of the things that keep marketers awake at night.

Your targeting is definitely too broad - from people selling training to people seeking extra income.

I would say do the following :

• Narrow your focus, pick one target market,
• Find out what keeps them awake at night,
• Offer them something (useful information, related to your product or service), which shows them how to solve some specific problem
• Capture names and emails
• Then offer your product as solution to their problems, once they come to know and trust you.

Good luck
Peekay

[magikb]

Originally Posted by DrewIM

Overall the page is waaaay too busy. You have too many font styles, weights, sizes, etc.. Makes it really hard to read.

Also, since you are selling something visual (a digital magazine), people are going to judge the look of your sales page much more as a reflection of your product. You don't want people thinking their magazines are going to look like your sales page

Here is what I would do:

1. Get rid of the banner above the video and put the headline there instead
2. Take those buttons out from under the video and put them in a header (you don't want people clicking away from the page before they have even read your sales letter)
3. As JKirby said, remove all the pictures of yourself. Having the video is enough.
4. Stick to 2-3 font choices for the whole page and keep everything consistent.

I threw this super rough quick comp together for you. It obviously needs more work, but it should give you a general idea of what I am saying.

Simple is always better...

Thank you DrewIM

I like the idea of moving those 3 buttons on top-right...

[magikb]

Originally Posted by peekay

Not sure about the long form sales letter type landing page.

Marketers are a lot more savvy than that.

"Boosting their credibility" is certainly not one of the things that keep marketers awake at night.

Your targeting is definitely too broad - from people selling training to people seeking extra income.

I would say do the following :

• Narrow your focus, pick one target market,
• Find out what keeps them awake at night,
• Offer them something (useful information, related to your product or service), which shows them how to solve some specific problem
• Capture names and emails
• Then offer your product as solution to their problems, once they come to know and trust you.

Good luck
Peekay

Thank you Peeky

I think I will create a few different sales pages. Each will be focused on different market...

[AffiliateBeast]

Dear Magikb,
I have found you first design a bit scattered and the design you mentioned letter to be well defined. I think it would be better if you design a landing page within a 960 width wrap div and put the information in a sequential manner. Plus you have so many texts and not much buttons on eye-grabbing elements on the page that makes a visitor to stop scrolling and read a little.
Hope my review helps.