New Challenge - Help to sell a dance school membership! :) Critique please

This looks good. Better than I what I was expecting for a dance studio.

Most everything is there. Regarding your positioning angle. That could be a simple positioning statement in the header of the landing page. Something like...

"We don't just teach you the moves. We teach you how to put it all together to create your own thrilling freestyle routines...on the fly" or something along those lines.

Couple more points. Instructor descriptions are good. On the LP I would borrow some credibility and add in some of the celeb names from the instructor page: Justin Timberlake, Usher, Janet Jackson, Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber.

i.e. Our world class instructors have performed alongside celebrity entertainers Justin Timberlake, Usher, Janet Jackson, Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber, etc...

You could also edit in some testimonials to the video. The map at the end of the video may be important, but you could also have the video end in a video form with a special offer to get them to sign up right now. Something like "Fill out the form now to and get a FREE one hour Hip-Hop lesson" etc...

Which leads to my next comment. If you're trying to get them there via a form work on developing some strong offers. i.e. Free one hour class, signup for six, get three free, buy one get one free. Actually, the offer on the pricing page isn't bad but you might want to include some other offers.

Additionally, I would place one offer next to every instance of the form to remind them of the value prop.

Otherwise this site looks good and I believe fits well with the demographic. The copy is tight overall. Without knowing more about how prospects evaluate a dance school I would guess most of the information needed to make an informed decision is here. If I were going to work on something it would be offer development.

Thanks for your input Doug. I've mentioned that collecting emails or providing some type of offer is a very good way to get more clients. The problem with "free classes" is that it attracts people who will just come for a class and not come back! I've actually seen dozens of people come to a single class, and never return.

For most people, he charges quite a bit per class -- but I believe with the right sales copy, we can make people see more value in what/how he teaches. It's a bit like giving a man a fish vs teaching him how to fish

Who is it that you're really trying to target here?

On your home page it says the school is 'all-inclusive' but to me it looks the opposite.

The instructors are six guys who all look between 14 and 25. The photos don't make them look welcoming and accessible to beginners.

Your quote below kind of sums up the vibe I got from the site:

Is it going to appeal to girls? Perhaps not.

Seems like it's only targeted to teen boys who are seriously into the hip hop culture and want to be part of a street crew,

How big is that particular market on the Gold Coast? I guess there's a bunch of kids in Nerang who think they're straight outta Compton... but do they have the money if you're charging high rates?

Most of the people I know who'd be interested in hip hop classes are the people who want to go to Sin City or Platinum on a Saturday night and not feel like a goose on the dance floor.

It's the guys who want to learn some basic moves so they can impress girls when they're in the clubs.

It's the girls who want to get fit and have fun dancing but want an alternative to Zumba.

I know quite a few people who have looked for hip hop classes. But they want something with a low barrier of entry where they'll feel comfortable.

I don't think your site caters to this market at all, as it looks more cliquish.

Which is fine if you want to position yourself as exclusive and for the hardcore hip hop crowd... but I think this market is fairly limited.

Don't know how to get it across? You said it yourself - That page is crying out for a killer video - above the fold - not buried below where it is now. Make it do most of the work. The current one is cheesy.

The whole site looks too slick/too commercial to me. I can't see that attracting the hip-hop crowd. It needs to be grungy and "street". This doesn't say "cool" to me. It says "we want your money". It's also crying out for some interaction from kids that have taken the classes - testimonials and videos. (I see you have some testimonials on a slider - way down the bottom as an afterthought)

And that "enquiry" form stuck at the bottom is lame. Get them on your list by giving them something. INSPIRE them. This copy won't cut it -
I read "So we can spam your arse". They're tuned to WIIFM - what's in it for me?


Speaking of Australian hip-hop. Here's Iggy Azalea. From Mullumbimby to the bigtime. Go girl.

Hey Copy Nazi,

Thanks for the advice. I'll have a chat about creating some type of giveaway in exchange for an email, or some kind of special offer. I was thinking that Maybe 1 class for free after paying for one would be a good start because that gets the ball rolling.

The videos on the site are a bit old -- do you think this would be a better video to put up? He demonstrates a few different styles here:


TimR -- I agree, most of the guys who want to learn how to dance want to show off a bit at the clubs. A lot of the people that come through are more clicky hip hop heads that go to Paris or have come from the scene in Brisbane which is a more urban club.... The picture does make the instructors look a bit mean, but the owner is actually one of the nicest guys I know! The problem is that he knows his value and will probably refuse to cater to the "basic "fist pumper"morons lol

And the obvious question...why are they not following up those that take a free lesson and never come back?

BTW I don't find this guy that good. His timing is off.

Enter "hip hop" in YouTube and you'll see some hot dancing.

He hasnt offered free classes for the price of one yet, I think we'll talk about that next week though. It would be a good way to show the value of what people get because an hour just isnt enough.

Maybe you're referring to the krump style he demos at the end because I thought it was pretty awesome lol... you really have to see it in person to appreciate it. I don't think I've seen a more complex freestyle dancer online or off though, what do you think of this? haha


Also Copy Nazi/Mal, do you think it would be a good idea to have more sales copy explaining the benefits of this school over others, or would that just be considered a bit too "snarky for a dance school?"

P.S. TimR I had a good chuckle at the nerangatang idiots that live down there, he's moving the studio eventually specifically because he doesnt want to associate with that area. I get your point though -- the hip hop scene on the Gold Coast is fairly limited.

Just to be clear. Who specifically is your customer.

The kids who want to learn? Or the parents of the kids who want to learn?

- Rick Duris

There is a separate class for kids - the foundation freestyle class is really the "meat" of Dance Skool. Kids to adults do attend the main class, but I think the 18+20's gravitate towards it because of the club scene in our area.