I'm sorry -- it just gives me THE CREEPS...

Here they are, in order of CREEPINESS (less creepy to more creepy)...

1) Sales pages that are QUITE OBVIOUSLY done by someone for whom English is a second language -- and they are TRYING to cover that up by using vernaculars + idioms -- and using them INCORRECTLY, etc.

Could be something as "innocent" as "Price is 17$ ONLY!"

It's CREEPY, like when the hero of an action movie realizes someone is a DOUBLE AGENT SPY, because he misuses some English idiom -- like, "it's raining dogs and cats."

2) Sales pages that have all of the above problems, PLUS the page has a VIDEO -- and the VOICEOVER of the video was done by someone who IS a REAL American, but who just reads the script VERBATIM, even though the script has MANY, MANY incorrectly used idioms, etc.!!

BONUS CREEPY POINTS if the real American voice person is CLAIMING TO BE THE CREATOR of the item being sold!! As in, not only am I going to read this script BLINDLY, even though the script contains MANY creepy mistakes, but I'm ALSO gonna see nothing wrong with CLAIMING to be the person who wrote the script, WITH all the mistakes! That's EXTRA CREEPY.

For a very current example of this, just see the sales page for "Local Theme Jack."
The voice on the video is SUPPOSEDLY the product creator, Jack Hopman.
But how can that be?!? -- the voice is obviously that of a real American --
and yet the script contains many, MANY errors that a REAL American would NEVER make!

Which leaves the viewer WONDERING: WHOSE VOICE IS THAT *REALLY* ?!?!
Who is the REAL Jack Hopman?
WHERE is the real Jack Hopman?!?!?
Is he locked up in a room somewhere?

WHO is the person whose voice is on the video? -- and WHY is he reading the script, AS IS,
even though it clearly contains MANY ERRORS the reader of the script MUST KNOW are errors?!
Is he reading it against his will? Why would he BLINDLY read a script that has so many errors?

See? CREEPY!

If someone handed you a script and asked you to do a voiceover, AND ADDED:
"I want you to pretend to be me, and the script has this phrase -- 'it was raining dogs and cats',"
among many other obvious mistakes -- would you take the job?

3) Pages that have all of the above problems, PLUS the voice of the video is a COMPUTER GENERATED voice (c'mon, admit it -- you can ALWAYS tell if it's a robot voice, no matter how "advanced" the tech gets!)

There's NOTHING CREEPIER than a computer generated voice on a sales video getting all "chummy" and SLANGY with you, but they are using all the slang ALL WRONG -- Like nefarious visitors from another planet trying to BLEND IN with our culture -- and doing it POORLY. You just KNOW they are up to NO GOOD!

CREEPY, CREEPY, CREEPY!

-- TW