I'm sorry -- it just gives me THE CREEPS...

29 replies
Here they are, in order of CREEPINESS (less creepy to more creepy)...

1) Sales pages that are QUITE OBVIOUSLY done by someone for whom English is a second language -- and they are TRYING to cover that up by using vernaculars + idioms -- and using them INCORRECTLY, etc.

Could be something as "innocent" as "Price is 17$ ONLY!"

It's CREEPY, like when the hero of an action movie realizes someone is a DOUBLE AGENT SPY, because he misuses some English idiom -- like, "it's raining dogs and cats."

2) Sales pages that have all of the above problems, PLUS the page has a VIDEO -- and the VOICEOVER of the video was done by someone who IS a REAL American, but who just reads the script VERBATIM, even though the script has MANY, MANY incorrectly used idioms, etc.!!

BONUS CREEPY POINTS if the real American voice person is CLAIMING TO BE THE CREATOR of the item being sold!! As in, not only am I going to read this script BLINDLY, even though the script contains MANY creepy mistakes, but I'm ALSO gonna see nothing wrong with CLAIMING to be the person who wrote the script, WITH all the mistakes! That's EXTRA CREEPY.

For a very current example of this, just see the sales page for "Local Theme Jack."
The voice on the video is SUPPOSEDLY the product creator, Jack Hopman.
But how can that be?!? -- the voice is obviously that of a real American --
and yet the script contains many, MANY errors that a REAL American would NEVER make!

Which leaves the viewer WONDERING: WHOSE VOICE IS THAT *REALLY* ?!?!
Who is the REAL Jack Hopman?
WHERE is the real Jack Hopman?!?!?
Is he locked up in a room somewhere?

WHO is the person whose voice is on the video? -- and WHY is he reading the script, AS IS,
even though it clearly contains MANY ERRORS the reader of the script MUST KNOW are errors?!
Is he reading it against his will? Why would he BLINDLY read a script that has so many errors?

See? CREEPY!


If someone handed you a script and asked you to do a voiceover, AND ADDED:
"I want you to pretend to be me, and the script has this phrase -- 'it was raining dogs and cats',"
among many other obvious mistakes -- would you take the job?

3) Pages that have all of the above problems, PLUS the voice of the video is a COMPUTER GENERATED voice (c'mon, admit it -- you can ALWAYS tell if it's a robot voice, no matter how "advanced" the tech gets!)

There's NOTHING CREEPIER than a computer generated voice on a sales video getting all "chummy" and SLANGY with you, but they are using all the slang ALL WRONG -- Like nefarious visitors from another planet trying to BLEND IN with our culture -- and doing it POORLY. You just KNOW they are up to NO GOOD!

CREEPY, CREEPY, CREEPY!

-- TW
#creeps
  • Profile picture of the author Dennis Gaskill
    Your definition of creepy is apparently much different than mine. Waking up in the middle of the night with cockroaches crawling all over you is creepy. That's what my first night spent on a ship after I joined the Navy was like.
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    • Profile picture of the author Kurt
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      Your definition of creepy is apparently much different than mine. Waking up in the middle of the night with cockroaches crawling all over you is creepy. That's what my first night spent on a ship after I joined the Navy was like.
      It's even creepier if you sleep with your mouth open...
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    • Profile picture of the author JNano
      Originally Posted by Dennis Gaskill View Post

      Your definition of creepy is apparently much different than mine. Waking up in the middle of the night with cockroaches crawling all over you is creepy. That's what my first night spent on a ship after I joined the Navy was like.
      I would never want that to happen to me lol
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  • Profile picture of the author TimothyW
    Yes -- I guess cockroaches crawling on you is creepier -- but only a little.

    I just heard a sales video that said (in robot voice)...

    "You must be asking what exactly we talking about.
    You just need stick around for a couple of minutes around
    in this video and find out..."


    That's level-3 creepy, in my book.
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  • Profile picture of the author Dan Riffle
    Creepy is Claude asking you where you keep your coffee and the first thought that pops into your head is, "How did Claude get in my house?" and your second thought is, "Why is my living room covered in bubble wrap?"
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    If you want me to go on arguing, you'll have to pay for another five minutes.

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    • Profile picture of the author Claude Whitacre
      Originally Posted by Dan Riffle View Post

      Creepy is Claude asking you where you keep your coffee and the first thought that pops into your head is, "How did Claude get in my house?" and your second thought is, "Why is my living room covered in bubble wrap?"
      And your third thought is..."Oh, I forgot. I kidnapped him again".
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      • Profile picture of the author Daniel Evans
        Creepy is when you question the identity of people in a post that is clearly typed by Seasoned.
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  • Profile picture of the author seasoned
    Dennis,

    HOW could the US military not control cockroaches on a navy ship!?!?!?!? HECK, everyone could spray a little boric acid in various crevices, and across the doorjambs, and take care of them in a couple days, perhaps even ONE day. It isn't like the cockroaches can go anyplace, and most would have trouble getting on.

    Daniel,

    I have ONLY used Seasoned here.

    TimothyW,

    I know what you mean. Many "americans" are getting rid of articles, and misplacing adverbs. Many english speakers might place a dollar sign after a number, since most such characters often ARE. They aren't errors many would make, but some DO. But yeah, I agree with you.

    The CREEPIER thing is when SO MANY people make such a mistake that it can no longer be used to determine legitimacy! Take "build in" for example! What the HELL does THAT mean? Does it mean you are supposed to take the product apart and add the feature YOURSELF? The CORRECT term is "BUILT in", meaning that it has ALREADY been done, so you DON'T have to add it.

    Steve
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    • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
      Timothy,

      You have some great points.

      But why do you have to capitalize so many words?

      That is kind of creepy, in my book.

      Marcia Yudkin
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    • Profile picture of the author TimothyW
      Originally Posted by seasoned View Post

      Dennis,

      HOW could the US military not control cockroaches on a navy ship!?!?!?!? HECK, everyone could spray a little boric acid in various crevices, and across the doorjambs, and take care of them in a couple days, perhaps even ONE day. It isn't like the cockroaches can go anyplace, and most would have trouble getting on.

      Daniel,

      I have ONLY used Seasoned here.

      TimothyW,

      I know what you mean. Many "americans" are getting rid of articles, and misplacing adverbs. Many english speakers might place a dollar sign after a number, since most such characters often ARE. They aren't errors many would make, but some DO. But yeah, I agree with you.

      The CREEPIER thing is when SO MANY people make such a mistake that it can no longer be used to determine legitimacy! Take "build in" for example! What the HELL does THAT mean? Does it mean you are supposed to take the product apart and add the feature YOURSELF? The CORRECT term is "BUILT in", meaning that it has ALREADY been done, so you DON'T have to add it.

      Steve
      Hi Steve...

      I'm not talking about American's who are making more and more grammatical errors -- although that is happening, I agree.

      What I'm talking about here is scripts (+ copy) that are written by people who are DEFINITELY NOT American (+/or their mother tongue is not English) -- there are mistakes, and then there are MISTAKES -- then that same ERROR-LADEN script is read by a real American who would DEFINITELY know better!

      THAT'S where the creepiness comes in. It quickly becomes obvious that the person reading the script CANNOT be the person who wrote the script.
      The creepiness factor is COMPOUNDED when the reader of the script CLAIMS to be the product creator. We instinctively know this CANNOT BE TRUE. So, the mystery deepens... WHO REALLY IS READING THE SCRIPT? WHY is he reading it verbatim, KNOWING it's all wrong?!?!

      SOMETHING'S not right here!
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      • Profile picture of the author marciayudkin
        PS: We have something in common -- MAUI -- I'm in Kihei.
        Also, I lived in Berkshire County Mass. for many, many years.
        Well, that is very spooky. Our place in Maui is in Kihei, and our Massachusetts place is very close to the Berkshires, in the hilltowns west of Northampton.

        Marcia
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      • Profile picture of the author Oziboomer
        Originally Posted by TimothyW View Post

        THAT'S where the creepiness comes in. It quickly becomes obvious that the person reading the script CANNOT be the person who wrote the script.
        The creepiness factor is COMPOUNDED when the reader of the script CLAIMS to be the product creator. We instinctively know this CANNOT BE TRUE. So, the mystery deepens... WHO REALLY IS READING THE SCRIPT? WHY is he reading it verbatim, KNOWING it's all wrong?!?
        I only wish I'd seen this thread earlier.

        Intrigue.

        Intrigued as to what someone would watch a video kind of waiting for the next grammatical error.

        Maybe these guys are on to something...

        A bit like the old Kung-Fu Movies with the dubbed soundtrack.

        Didn't you wander around mouthing words and then doing the time delay English translation?

        You watched the movies right...even thought they were...well less than perfect...I'd say less than good.

        Maybe this technique could work for me now.

        Get some NON-English Speaking actor to use in my VSLs and get that sort of "Mind-Twist" going that this "Cannot" be happening...it's too bad....

        but...

        ...if they watch the video and click the buy now button...

        we're done.

        I LET Know you when Is good Success Method OK.
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  • Profile picture of the author CopyMonster
    Naw... naw... naw.

    Creepy is when the guy behind you in the supermarket checkout line asks you for your bra size...

    And you're a dude with no obvious man-boobage.

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    Scary good...
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  • Profile picture of the author splitTest
    Speaking of creepy -- I kinda like the "Super Creepy Rob Lowe" spot for Direct TV (and the others in that series).

    Check it out here: DirecTV TV Commercial, 'Super Creepy Rob Lowe' - iSpot.tv

    Btw, Ispot.tv is a pretty interesting site. You can check out spots in different product categories (including some direct response stuff), peruse lots of stats about each commercial, leave comments, vote whether it's "spot on" (or "boo" it), etc. etc.

    Might be of interest to you script writers.
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  • Profile picture of the author warcher
    How about the ever-popular "sneak PEAK"?
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  • Profile picture of the author BudaBrit
    Was Chris Rea a grammar troll?

    Did you like the song If You Were Me?

    If you were me
    And I was you
    If you had to play my part out
    What would you do
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  • Profile picture of the author TimothyW
    It keeps happening.

    I just now heard a video that starts like this...

    "Hello! It's [name] here, to bring you awesome recommendation for your business!"

    Voice guy was definitely American. Definitely NOT the person he was claiming to be (non-American marketer). Reading the script EXACTLY as written -- COMPLETE WITH incorrect grammar + wording! Creeeeeepy.

    Why?!? WWWWHY?!?!?!?

    -- TW
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  • Profile picture of the author aspiepower
    You complain the poor speakings muchly of the trying to make dollar millionaire fast?

    Yeah, they're creepy
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  • Profile picture of the author TimothyW
    It keeps happening.

    THIS ONE has many phrases using incorrect grammar, etc...

    Including: "It's all done for you, using 3-step easy process to..."

    Voice guy was definitely American. Definitely NOT the person he was claiming to be (non-American marketer). Reading the script EXACTLY as written -- COMPLETE WITH incorrect grammar + wording! Creeeeeepy.

    Why?!? WWWWHY?!?!?!?

    -- TW
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  • Profile picture of the author dddougal
    Better get used to it, they'r taking over the world. You only have to look through the posts on this forum. Every other day there is a post from someone wondering how to become a copywriter....Even their questions are barely legible shite so i dread to think what their sales pages look like.
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    • Profile picture of the author TimothyW
      Originally Posted by dddougal View Post

      Better get used to it, they'r taking over the world. You only have to look through the posts on this forum. Every other day there is a post from someone wondering how to become a copywriter....Even their questions are barely legible shite so i dread to think what their sales pages look like.
      It's one thing to have creepy copy with all kinds of English mistakes in it.
      That's been going on forever ("127$ Only").
      But when an American voice over person, who obviously MUST KNOW the copy is FULL of mistakes, reads it ANY WAY, word for word -- that's when it gets ULTRA-creepy! It's like some poor terrorist hostage being forced to read a statement for the press! CREEEEPY.

      -- TW
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  • Profile picture of the author Slade556
    Robot voice speaking English nonsense - awkward!!
    I think the people who accept such "jobs" are in desperate need of money. Or, it is possible that they just don't care!
    For instance, there are hundreds of people on Fiverr offering to do voice overs. Once someone places the order and gives the seller the instructions... it's difficult to cancel the order without receiving some type of penalty (the reputation of the seller who cancels orders... yikes!). So, they just take the money, do what they're supposed to do and that's that.
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    • Profile picture of the author TimothyW
      Originally Posted by Slade556 View Post

      Robot voice speaking English nonsense - awkward!!
      I think the people who accept such "jobs" are in desperate need of money. Or, it is possible that they just don't care!
      For instance, there are hundreds of people on Fiverr offering to do voice overs. Once someone places the order and gives the seller the instructions... it's difficult to cancel the order without receiving some type of penalty (the reputation of the seller who cancels orders... yikes!). So, they just take the money, do what they're supposed to do and that's that.
      You'd think a voiceover guy would have MORE difficulty reading copy that was full of obvious (and easily correctable) yet SPOOKY English errors, than he would have in simply correcting the mistakes, THEN reading it -- no?

      I mean, isn't the voiceover guy creeping HIMSELF out by reading + recording copy like that?

      -- TW
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  • Profile picture of the author pewpewpewmonkeys
    Who cares. Make money.
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    Some cause-oriented hackers recently hacked one of my websites. So I researched what they're about and then donated a large sum of money to the entity they hate the most.

    The next time they hack one of my websites I'm going to donate DOUBLE.
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