Critique my squeeze page please?

Anyone have a look?

Maybe experiment isn't the right word, I've changed the title.

Your images are in conflict with the copy. Most of them are interfering with the reading of the copy, and are also not contributing to it. It's worth getting a textual page working first, then add in the images and test if they actually increase response.

Generally, unless you really know how to make images compliment the copy or can afford to hire a world-class direct response designer, you're often better off leaving them out. If the images aren't done right, it kills sales.

The spelling errors are intentional to give some character to it. I hear you on the photos though. Thanks

Anyone else?

Right off the bat, the headline has incorrect grammar/wording...

"Learn That facts..."

Capitalization is inconsistent in the headline.
Some pictures are in line with text, some aren't. I'd aim to make it more consistent.

What I do like: it's short, too the point. I also like the use of "unlock now" rather than "register" or "sign up".

The page loads very slow to me. The text you have next to images should be aligned for better reading. Your design is not responsive. Those are the first things I can advice.

Nice job getting this up and going!

I agree with the comments above that this page needs a lot of work. One of the major things that is missing is why I should trust your advice. Testimonials, experience, who you are... something, anything that would help me trust you.

I also agree with the comments about the spelling errors taking away from your authority. Sure, spelling mistakes make you look more human... but this is an article that's supposed to look polished and professional, is it not? In an email I would agree with you, but here (in my opinion) spelling errors don't communicate trust and authority. They communicate laziness and lack of attention to detail.

Luckily that's an easy fix should you agree!

Anyways, here are some other observations/suggestions:

Page Title is missing -- the <title> tag is empty.

Headline... Currently you have "How To Make Money Online And Earn Up To $600/Day. Learn The facts, I’ll Teach You everything…"

Here's a suggestion. You're not targeting any specific group of people. Who are you going after? Moms? Frustrated post graduates? Janitors?

Examples:

"Sick of the 9-5 grind, day in, day out? Here's exactly how you can quit your job and earn up to $600/day. I did it myself and you can too..."

"Are you a single mom who's barely scraping by to support your family? Here's exactly how blah blah blh"

"Do you reek of sewage and vomit after your job cleaning out port-a-potties at festivals? Well here's how you can turn it all around" (okay, maybe that's TOO specific)

If you don't "niche down" and target a more specific group, you'll likely have less conversions. You can always create several pages that target specific groups but sign them up to different newsletters that you tweak the copy for to apply to each group.

You wrote "There is ZILCH, NADA to buy on this page… JUST pure practical information from an expert online marketer." It almost sounds like you put this here just for Bing. It comes off as kind of defensive.

I had to look up what "spondoolee" meant. I live in western NY... or maybe I'm just sheltered?

Subheads:

You wrote "But it gets better:". Suggestion: "Here's the RIGHT way to go about it..."

You wrote: "To the point where:". Suggestion: "With this list, you can accelerate your income. Here's how:"

You wrote: "Better for us eh!". I'm not Canadian so this doesn't connect with me. I would suggest a call to action here instead. Something like "Become an AllInThrees Insider Below" (or whatever your newsletter is called...)

In your last paragraph, tell them exactly what to do. "Just enter your name and email below, then click the big Unlock button to [insert benefit here]"

1. Fix your headline. "Learn the facts"? No one gets excited about "facts."

2. Get rid of the word "spondoolee." That is not nearly a widely enough recognized term for the majority of your readers to know what it means.

3. If you're purposely making grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, you need to think twice about that. It's not a good idea, no matter who told you it was. If you were in a different niche where those types of intentional writing errors actually made you seem more convincing, that would be different. But you're presenting yourself as an expert marketer and that is NOT the right niche to feign grammar and spelling mistakes.

4. Your entire page is written in passive voice. If you don't know what that means or how to write in active voice, you need to hire a copywriter to help edit your pages or better yet, rewrite them to convert better. It's great that you want to learn, but if you don't even have basic writing skills to help build your credibility, no one will take you seriously.

Bottom line: The copy is just not compelling enough for people to be interested in amid all the lazy writing. The right kind, anyway. As someone else pointed out, you'll only get the total newbies and those are not the people you want to target. You want people with at least a little bit of knowledge and you won't convert them with this.

There are too many mistakes and it's boring to read. The way it's written, it sounds like you're not a native English speaker. I totally understand the "Pothead" comment because of the fragmented and strange language.

I suggest you at least have someone else edit it for you. Your conversions are really going to suffer if you keep it like this. Learning is great, but when it comes to copy, you need to be exciting people with descriptive words and "showing, not telling." There is none of that in your copy.