Critique Please

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http://store.esellerate.net/s.aspx?s=STR3292550875 My sales page

Get My Song Reviewed My main page

Places to submit your song or demo Page that leads to the sales page


Any feedback would be really appreciated. I am very new and trying to learn. I tried to follow the checklist. I would like to know how I could make these pages better.

Sales page is the main thing naturally, It is a store and I wonder what you guys think about that. The other pages I built and would like your thoughts if you wanted to share them. Thank you
#copywriting #critique
  • I would play around with the idea "in average, it takes XXX people in the recording industry to listen your demo in order to get the deal. If you don't know the right people, you'll never get to that number. However, I'm going to provide you with a way of ..."

    Emphasis on how they save time, money and the major artists that are now famous because they were promoted by these execs in the music industry.
    • [1] reply
    • This is key. Give them a huge benefit that will save them time, money, effort, shorten their learning curve, etc.. Explain how you can provide them with some type of major leverage.

      Focus on their pain.

      Struggling musicians want to make it bad, so how can you help them reach their dreams as quickly as possible? and then TELL THEM
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