Unusual Product Spawns Marketing Mystery - Updated

by Promptor

Posted: 14 years ago 19 replies

COPY WRITING

Hello Warriors,

I am a software designer/programmer that just finished my premier product. I don't have a clue who my target market is. I hear it's important to write for a specific market rather than trying to be everything to everyone. Unfortunately, this product can be used for everything by everyone.

Even worse - marketing and copy writing is a new thing for me. I gave it my best shot and would greatly appreciate any comments, advice, and criticism.

You will see a space on the page where a demonstration video is pending. I am currently writing the script for the video but it would help if I knew I was on the right track in regards to the sales copy.

I just joined this forum and when I previewed this post I got a messaging saying I can't add a link until I've made 15 posts. I hope the below is OK.

promptoria.com/think.htm

Feedback is Golden - Bless You

Addendum to the original post:

Several Warriors that have replied to this post have commented that my sales copy does not explain what the product is.

This sent me into deep contemplation attempting to synthesis the esoteric factors that explain what it is in terms of its purest elemental form. It did not occur to me until later that they may have simply meant the sales copy does not say the product is computer software.

If this is the case I should explain that the above link goes directly to the product's sales page. Currently there are no other external links to the sales page. All external links point to the home page of the web site. The first thing you see on the home page is the company name and a description of what the company does - namely produce software to amplify people's creativity and critical thinking skills. The home page includes a short description of each product we offer and a link to each product's sales page.

Under normal circumstances people navigating to the product's sales page would have done so from the home page and therefore would already know it was software. Actually the sales page does say it is software but not until the end of the copy next to the "Buy" button.

Whatever the case this could be a potential problem and will be rectified.

On the other hand maybe my first assumption was the correct one. No one explained what they meant by "what it is".

#marketing #mystery #product #spawns #unusual

Loren Woirhaye 14 years ago

While long copy is a good thing in general - with software
I think it's a good exercise to write copy so tight you could
put it on the box.

You can use a long-form salesletter too, but the box-copy
is really an effective focusing tool.

Tell what the thing does, as if it does it for us, and how
that makes our lives easier.

A lot of technical-minded people like programmers struggle to
write copy. Sometimes too much familiarity makes the writer
unable to get the sales "hook" or appeal right.

I don't know why you want to do it all yourself, because
it seems like you are a talented programmer - but if you must
write your own salescopy get the classic books and drum
them into your head with many readings. Gradually the
fog will lift and you will start to speak and think like a
salesperson who writes.

It's a long process... but a worthwhile skill for some.
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- Promptor 14 years ago
  
  Thanks Loren,
  
  No doubt I have a lot to learn.
  
  Thanks
  
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redfc 14 years ago

Hi promptor,

My preception after reading your sales letter is that you're selling some kind of mental training program or a software that help out in mentality (correct me if I'm wrong)

In your sales letter, its not clear whether you're selling a coacing program, an ebook about personnel development or something like what Tony Buzan is selling about 'mind maps' which help us to understand how best we can make use of our memory.

Try add on something like how you can solve a typical problem using your product/services.

Iike you said, your product can be use for everything by everyone then try focus on how it help in loss weigh, quit smoking, over coming fear or develop positive habits.

Write on separate paragraph on how your product is going to help in loss weigh, quit smoking etc.

hope this helps.

cheers
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- Promptor 14 years ago
  
  Thanks redfc,
  
  I will feel more comfortable trimming the copy once the video is done. Pictures with the words should help - hopefully.
  
  Thanks
  
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MarkAndrews IMCopywriting 14 years ago

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- Promptor 14 years ago
  
  Thanks WordPro.
  
  And double thanks for adding the link.
  
  Length is a confusing issue. I had a telephone session with a marketing expert about my website. He was just looking at the home page not the Think! page so we didn't talk about sales copy. I only mention it because he said, for one product he is selling, it was when he wrote a sales letter 17 pages long that his sales went through the roof.
  
  Think! is a hard product to write about. Since most people think they already know how to think, they don't spend much time thinking about thinking itself. In one sense Think! is a tool that produces immediate results. The other aspect is that with regular use it improves the brains ability to think.
  
  Thanks
  
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Loren Woirhaye 14 years ago

With software people don't want to know how it works -
they want a machine that just DOES IT for them.

Like a dishwasher. It does the dishes (feature) so you
don't have to (benefit), which means you'll have
more time (benefit of the benefit) to enjoy life.

....and so forth. the language I'm using is a little
corny. See, people don't visualize the feature too
well - but they visualize the benefits easily if you
present them effectively.
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Paul Hancox

14 years ago

Hi Promptor

I haven't read other people's comments yet, so as not to be influenced by them.

I am a software programmer that just finished my premier product. I don't have a clue who my target market is. I hear it's important to write for a specific market rather than trying to be everything to everyone. Unfortunately, this product can be used for everything by everyone.

Speaking generally here, this problem can usually be "solved" by writing different versions of your sales letter for different audiences, i.e. "segmenting" - focusing on the different hot spots for each audience.

Even worse - marketing and copy writing is a new thing for me. I gave it my best shot and would greatly appreciate any comments, advice, and criticism.

My personal advice to you would be to hire a copywriter.

One of the things about SOFTWARE is that people want to know "what it does", along with "why it will help me".

I know you've spent a long time trying to explain why it will help them (i.e. "Invent new marketable products and services")... but your sales letter doesn't really explain WHAT IT DOES IN THE FIRST PLACE!

I skimmed the entire sales letter and you still didn't tell me, in simple words that I can understand (and I've written software!).... what it is!

Maybe you're thinking...

<< Think! is a highly specialized classroom where your own mind is by far the best teacher and student you could ever hope to find. >>

... is an explanation. But to me, it's not. It's marketing speak. Somewhere along the line, you need to explain to people what it IS.

Imagine describing a "word processor" to someone who didn't know what one was.

How would you do it? What would you say?

This is what you're doing at the moment...

Me: "So what's a word processor?"

You: "A word processor is a highly specialized piece of software where dreams can happen, where anything can be magically crafted..."

Do you see how the answer doesn't tell me WHAT IT IS?

Of course, most people know what a word processor is nowadays... but we don't know what YOUR software is. So you need to explain to them what it IS, at some point.

Anyway, that's just a small (but important) aspect about selling software.

For the rest, hire a copywriter

Assuming you put your offer in front of the right audience, your initial investment in a copywriter will be repaid many times over by the sales you'll make.

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Promptor 14 years ago

Thanks Paul.

That was helpful - I think?

I see I have been focusing more on what it DOES rather than what it IS.

I thought what it IS is a thing that does what it does.

The video will show what it does and how it does it. Doesn't that explain what it IS?
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Daniel Scott 14 years ago

Sure, it CAN be used by anyone for anything... but it won't be.

Based on what I could gather from your sales page this will mostly appeal to the "self-help" crowd... now, I've never marketed to them or done a lot of research on this niche, but I'd say it's probably mostly high-earners, business-people, that sort of thing.

So you want to start out addressing problems they're having... not enough time, feeling as though their income has hit a plateau, not spending enough time with their families, want that new promotion... whatever it is... and hit that nail on the head... then show exactly how your software will solve that.

Now, as I said, I'm sure your software could be used for other stuff... but most people don't care about self-improvement... it's too much work!

Just my thoughts.

-Dan
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- Promptor 14 years ago
  
  Thanks Daniel,
  
  Your right about one thing - Think! does not do your thinking for you - it helps you to think better for yourself. So yes, unfortunately there is actual effort involved.
  
  There is no way to say this without sounding condescending so please forgive the lack of politically correct sensitivity. From what I've seen on this forum so far Marketing Warriors seem to have more on the ball. But I have to say most people I meet would have trouble thinking their way out of a paper bag.
  
  In fact I'm not sure what goes on in most people's minds could be characterized as "thought" at all. What passes for thinking these days is more of an intuitive reaction to circumstances according to one's acquired prejudices.
  
  I know that sounds cruel but I'm not alone in this opinion. I have read many papers from university professors lamenting the deplorable state of the critical thinking skills of their students.
  
  Look at all the serious issues happening in the world today and yet it seems no one notices because they are obsessed with more important things like "Dancing With the Starts" or Brad Pitt's hairstyle.
  
  It is not the peoples fault. I blame the education system's strict focus on Left-Brain training - the fluoride, mercury, and many other substances we are exposed to that chemically lobotomize the brain, and mass media's relentless obsession with trivia. But that's another subject.
  
  The self help crowd is a target. I have written some articles posted on a site called Selfgrowth.com which boasts one million unique visitors per month. Innovation in the business sector is also a major market. In todays modern idea saturated marketplace coming up with truly original ideas is getting harder all the time.
  
  Think! is designed to address all the above issues.
  
  Thanks
  
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Promptor 14 years ago

Thanks Matt,

I thought the bullets explained the benefits in terms of what the software will do for you but it seems that message hasn't come through.

I was contemplating a heading something like "Intelligence for Dummies" but thought better of it.

Just so you know - what the software does is amplify your ability to think. There are two separate interfaces for two separate functions. One is for generating new original ideas for any purpose. The other is for critical thinking to evaluate and implement your new ideas.
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RentItNow

14 years ago

I don't get it till the end. It's software. Show me a pic of it right off the bat so I know this.

Every product should have a target market in mind before anything is done. Even if it's the wrong target at least you are more focused. You will learn more about your target later.

For instance, when I first rented student housing, I targeted "Students that go to the local U". It was not much of a target, but it was something. By the time I was one year into it my target was, "Male student from out of town, senior, in town for one day." Why? Because I spent about 1 hour with them and made $350. If it was anyone else BUT that target, I would spend hours and hours for that same $350.

For your target, start with people that actually buy software for self-improvement. Not sure who it is but its a start that will begin making you money. Maybe it is mothers that want their kids to learn more. Don't know but you will get it down to a very specific customer as time goes on. You can cut the time by giving it away to people for a limited time in exchange for a completed customer survey.

Just a sidenote as well, I don't like that DOMAIN at all. It does not explain the product. I'm beginning to learn 'cleverness' does not work with IM.

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Alexa Smith Banned 14 years ago

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- Promptor 14 years ago
  
  Thanks Alexa,
  
  I don't know if you saw the addendum to my original post explaining that people only see the sales page from the home page. Anyway I am fixing this issue in the rewrite.
  
  Also, regarding the domain name - did you mean the name Promptoria or the page name think.htm or both?
  
  The later I can easily change but the main domain name Promptoria will remain. At the time I got so frustrated finding a domain name that was not already taken I decided to go for a proper name. It fits what I'm doing and it's easy to remember, even if it's not Utopian seo.
  
  Others have commented that what I call Think!'s sales page should have its own domain name. For better or worse I decided in the beginning to have a home page listing all my products on the same page.
  
  One thing I can say is that the bounce rate of the home page is consistently under 30% so over 70% of those that find the home page navigate to other pages on the site.
  
  Thanks
  
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Promptor

14 years ago

Thanks RentItNow,

I was confused about some of your comments. I don't know if you saw the addendum to my original post explaining that people that came to the sales page would already know it was software from landing on the home page.

Also, regarding the domain name - did you mean the name Promptoria or the page name think.htm or both?

In regards to targeting a market - after receiving the comments from everyone I am rewriting all the copy. I couldn't say the changes are targeting a specific market. I'm focusing on honing the message which should also target a market indirectly.

Thanks
1 reply

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RentItNow

14 years ago

Originally Posted by Promptor

I did not see but people may come directly to your site through a search engine link and not know it is software.

I didn't like the clever domain name "promptoria.com" but like Think!. You need to register a domain just for the sales page that better desribes the software. idea-generating-software.com. Anything that describes the product and its no. 1 benefit. You have no brand so no one recognizes 'promptoria'.

The target marketing is THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSON you can learn in sales. Imagine your customer is sitting in front of you. What do they look like? How do they talk? What is on their mind? What do they do for a living? What do they need? What do they want? Then you write your copy like you are talking to them and only them!

Daniel probably said it best.

You may begin with yourself. Why did you write the software? You were likely your ideal customer. Now find more people like you.

Thanks

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Daniel Scott 14 years ago

Whatever the reason... my point is that most people don't want it.

Some people do... market it to them and ONLY them... make your message laser-sharp... and screw everyone else.

Once you define WHO it's for... empathise with their pain and them show them a solution.

It's a lot easier to write a sales letter when you have your target market clearly in mind. In fact, I'd say it's impossible to write a good letter without that.

Sure, you can present the facts and let people "make their own decision". Problem is, they won't. You need to kick their ass through that door.

-Dan
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firegold21 14 years ago

I agree with all the comments above and would add this: the complaint about not being told what it *is* isn't answered by simply what it does. At least not the way you have it worded currently.

Is it a brainstorming software? Brain training? Idea database and/or generator? Similar to the software products out there to help writers? Can you, in the sales letter, describe using for a specific purpose so we can see what it does?

I'm assuming you'll do that last bit in the video, but it couldn't hurt to have it in the copy as well. While I like video as much as the other guy, I'm a fast reader and when I'm looking at something in a hurry, I prefer reading to being forced to sit through a video I can't fast forward to get to the information on how to purchase or how much it costs. And if there's not enough info in the written copy in those cases, I'm gone.

In NLP terms, you need to chunk down a bit. You're on too abstract a level right now, I think, and need to come down a level or two and make it more concrete. You're trying too hard to show the benefits and have bypassed the features entirely.

And despite all the focus on benefits, the features are necessary, too: "This product allows you to continually renew its ability to perform and make remembering things easier." What am I talking about? This might help: "Included in the purchase are enough lead refills for a full year. You'll have enough to write in your journal every day ... and then some."

A mechanical pencil of some sort, right? But you wouldn't know it from the first sentence. It was too abstract.

Disclaimer: I'm not a professional copywriter and am still learning myself, so take what I say with as large a grain of salt as you feel you need.

Joshua
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