What do you think about my squeeze page?

Like you said, the headline and squeeze box is like half way down the page (below the fold) when the page is loaded.

I'd bring it to the top.

Also, it's way to broad and un-interesting.

"Learn the exact proven methods that this guru uses to make $2,327.64 online with only a couple of hours a day! Even a complete beginner can do this."

Anyone whose been online for more than a year has seen claims and headlines like this over and over again. Again, way to broad and un-interesting.

"You're one step away from changing your life."

The first thing that comes to mind is I don't believe you.
Second thing is we have all heard this thousands of times already.

Think about the sophistication of your target market.

They have already heard everything on your page millions of times before and
there is no difference between you and anyone else.

What is your free offer on? What topic?

Make it more specific and tell them exactly what they will get and not that they
will make "$2,327.64" with a couple hours online -.-

There's a lot that could be improved here. Regardless of any shortcomings of the layout, the copy doesn't really snap-like-a-firecracker in my mind.

"You're one step away from changing your life" is not that great of a headline. It doesn't at all convey an actual, definite benefit; there are no selling points in the headline; it doesn't speak that directly to a prospect. At best, it has a semblance of curiosity-piquing -- but this phantom of a "curiosity hook" vanishes as soon as one realizes that everyone everywhere reads ads that say "This will change your life."

Will it change their life for better -- or for worse? Say what you mean. Show what you mean.


Next, we have this:
"Learn the exact proven methods that this guru uses to make $2,327.64 online with only a couple of hours a day! Even a complete beginner can do this."

Really? Prove it. Your audience is smart -- really smart. They won't believe a bold assertion like this in the absence of any proof.

"Get one!"

Get one what? I'm confused.

"Join my email list for valuable freebies and great opportunities. Don't miss out!"

Why shouldn't I miss out? Valuable freebies about what? Opportunities for what? Flog your copy to death. Make it sweat, bleed, and toil for you. Only once you've picked it apart, word by word, sentence by sentence -- with relentless objectivity and and understanding of your target market -- will your copy pull for you and pull hard.

Might offer some ideas on how to specifically improve the copy later, but hope this helps for now.

First on my browser it took a while to load. I do like the picture. Rather than bringing the opt-in box up I would remove a portion of the sky (top part of pic). This way the good part of th picure is still there to see and the box will be higher and more :above the fold"

As mentioned above have a bit of a better hook / proof shoiuld help with opt-ins. Remember th IM niche is used to seeing alot of similar offers - do not be one that is similar, be one that is different.

Needs More JPEG

No -- no -- that is LITERALLY the lowest-quality picture I have ever seen in Internet Marketing.

All credibility would be slain right there.

Here is my tip...don't do the 'make money niche' when you don't know how to make money....it screams fake and you have no real proof. Choose a different niche.

To add to the excellent points the guys make above...

Don't let the creative (eg. that pretty pic) dictate your strategy... Should be the other way around...

You might want to avoid using an "instapage" (complete with the "create a free landing page" footer )... After all, if you're making the ridiculously specific "$2,327.64 online with only a couple of hours a day" you should be able to afford more than a free page... That footer hurts your credibility of course... (Is that what "get one" refers to -- the free landing page? )

You should also change the title of the page to something other than "IM squeeze page"... And maybe get a more memorable url...

But most important, bone up on the principles of marketing communication... If you're serious about entrepreneurship, doing that is almost sure to help you in the long run... Your page as it stands looks like you've jumped the gun...

All of these guys make excellent points so I'll try not to beat a dead horse.

Your copy refers to 'this guru' who is that? Is it you? Is it that guy in the picture? Is it seth Godin? John Carlton? I don't know, so 0 credibility there.

Why does it matter if you are a guru if a complete beginner can do this?

Also If you are going to use income as a draw, how long did it take you to make 2K? is 2K/week or 2K/month. You can get more specific here.

Do the people you are targeting have websites? No money? who is your target market, and how will they know this is for them when they get there?

-CK

Okay, not a bad start, but...

1) Lose that huge empty space between the top of the page and the message. Looks like you can't layout a simple webpage, which, from a buyer's perspective, makes me question your competence right away.
2) "This Guru..." who is he/she? Be more specific.
3) "exact proven" ...too wordy. Pick ONE word which delivers the impression you're trying to create.
4) "Get One..." one what? Hot dog? Sticky bun? One-legged opera singing mistress? Gimme specifics.
5) "Join my email list..." Ugh, no. no. no. Who want's to join another list? Sounds impersonal and spammy. No value or hint as to what I'm getting or why. "Get access to my personal marketing files...", "Weekly updates on what's making me money RIGHT NOW..." or something like that.
6) "$2,327.64..." a day? a year? a month? And how many hours a week. If you're being this specific about the amount of money, why not be specific about the frequency and hours required?
7) No hint of how it's done (or how it's NOT done). People WILL want to know this before allowing to become one of the dozens of people they're ALREADY getting emails from. Give them a hint. And what annoying, expensive and/or scary things will they NOT have to do? I.E. "No cold calling..." "No hiring writers..." "No building huge email lists..." otherwise the "What will I have to do?" objection is going to cost you conversions.

...and lose that "Attention." If they're on the page, you've got their attention already. Use it wisely, or lose it. Don't waste time asking for it again.