Short Copy (260 words long) Worked Better?

by Tony M
10 replies
Hey everyone,

So I thought i'd launch a little product that's been sitting on my hard drive yesterday and it pretty much failed.

It was a 9 page sales letter.

I received two sales in a 18 hour period...

So the first thing I decided to test was the thread titles. Hmmm... I got a bit more traffic to the offer, but still nothing. After that I decided to test the headline... and still nothing.

So this morning I decided to rewrite the copy and make it extremely short... approximately 260 words long.

In almost two hours I sold an additional 5 copies.

Here are the links to sales pages with the thread titles in PDF format:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3m...ew?usp=sharing

Here's the new sales copy:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B3m...ew?usp=sharing

Thoughts, anyone?

Tony
#copy #micro #short #study #worked
  • Profile picture of the author DABK
    The short one ought to work better because it's clear what it is about (who it is for and what's in it for them). The other one, meh...
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  • Profile picture of the author Tim R
    The numbers are statistically irrelevant, you need a larger sample size.

    But beyond that you've got so many obvious differences that it doesn't matter anyway. If you want to accurately split-test long copy vs short copy you can't change every single variable on your sales page.
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  • Profile picture of the author BrianMcLeod
    Hey Tony,

    Thoughts:

    1) Simple offer, impulse buy at under $10 price point. Might have written them right out of the copy before.
    2) Perfect example of what to split test - BIG differences usually provide the big swings in conversion.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tony M
      Originally Posted by BrianMcLeod View Post

      Hey Tony,

      Thoughts:

      1) Simple offer, impulse buy at under $10 price point. Might have written them right out of the copy before.
      2) Perfect example of what to split test - BIG differences usually provide the big swings in conversion.
      Thanks Brian!

      I rewrote the letter after listening to a Gary Halbert interview with Michael Fortin.

      He said: "Get off your lazy ass and start finding these things out" lol

      I also modeled the letter after .X.'s previous products,

      Tony
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  • Profile picture of the author Raydal
    I agree that the data is too small to make any reasonable conclusion
    but that is indeed a market that want just the essence of the offer, which
    the shorter copy provided.

    In fact, any long sales letter should have a similar summary at the beginning
    or end of the offer.

    -Ray Edwards
    Signature
    The most powerful and concentrated copywriting training online today bar none! Autoresponder Writing Email SECRETS
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  • Profile picture of the author Jennifer Hutson
    I don't think your sales have anything to do with the length of your copy. Quite honestly, I think you got lucky on the second one.

    Both versions had heaps of generic terminology I could have found in hundreds of other run-of-the-mill WSOs, and you talked about yourself in places where you could have taken the opportunity to solve a reader problem. There really wasn't an overall message or "takeaway" in either version.

    If you continue refining it, I think you'll see better results.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sean DeSilva
    Maintaining interest is such a big part of the sale. Sometimes the main challenge.

    My opinion: your long form letter rehashes a message that's already been said. you're losing a lot of eyeballs early on because of this redundance.

    By contrast we see the differentiator in your short form letter right in the subhead. That's a successful interest hook:-)
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  • Profile picture of the author ChrisNosal
    Banned
    On the surface level, that seems logical.

    But here's the thing:

    We will sit and watch it 2 hour movie, or read a 600 page book, Or listen to a 10 minute song.

    Length actually has very little to do with it - what's much more important is that you write content that is able to hold the person's attention, and is able to educate them and offer them value.

    For example, the person who buys your product is let's say, going to go through a 100 page e-book, or 10 our audio course, or whatever.

    They're not necessarily looking for short or long - they're looking for an answer to their problem, and to know the person who created the product has the solution to their problem.

    My whole life doing Internet marketing, I've always found that it's much more about quality than quantity.

    But if one sales letter has more quality, and happens to be shorter, or longer, it's easy to confuse the two, and assume the length was the factor that made it successful.
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    • Profile picture of the author Tony M
      Originally Posted by ChrisNosal View Post

      On the surface level, that seems logical.
      But if one sales letter has more quality, and happens to be shorter, or longer, it's easy to confuse the two, and assume the length was the factor that made it successful.
      You made an excellent point.

      I'll keep that in mind for the future.

      Thanks Chris

      Originally Posted by Sean DeSilva View Post

      The proper length is the length that makes the strongest case while filling all midterm checkboxes. In the longform letter, I think the top few paragraphs should be cut because of their woeful redundance. Interest is captured (or not) early – you don't have the luxury of meddling around before the hook point.
      I rewrote the first paragraph when I first changed the headline, but I didn't continue to do so because
      I was more concerned with the headline and thread titles.
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  • Profile picture of the author Sean DeSilva
    The proper length is the length that makes the strongest case while filling all midterm checkboxes. In the longform letter, I think the top few paragraphs should be cut because of their woeful redundance. Interest is captured (or not) early – you don't have the luxury of meddling around before the hook point.
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