Please critique my landing page

12 replies
This is my landing page:

http://www.SuperAffiliateAlliance.com

My main concerns are that

1) I have too many links.
Is it annoying to have so many links, or is it a smart call to action?

2) It's not dumbed down enough.
Should I shorten and simplify it so it's easier for everyone to grasp?

I'm sure that you will have other concerns too

But any help you can give me is appreciated. Thanks.
#critique #landing #page
  • Profile picture of the author ChrisNosal
    Banned
    Originally Posted by crowsnest7 View Post

    This is my landing page:

    http://www.SuperAffiliateAlliance.com

    My main concerns are that

    1) I have too many links.

    Is it annoying to have so many links, or is it a smart call to action?

    2) It's not dumbed down enough.

    Should I shorten and simplify it so it's easier for everyone to grasp?

    I'm sure that you will have other concerns too

    But any help you can give me is appreciated. Thanks.
    It lacks organization and structure...

    It's not shortening it - it's about communicating a complete idea, and effective execution.

    for example, the first place my eyes go, before I have context, or know why I'm here, is "I'd rather see the video", which could just be "watch the video".

    This is an article from my website that might help you...

    Since customers online are already looking for what you offer, the only thing stopping them from buying is an objection to one of 3 things- your content eliminates all these objections, leaving only the confidence in their purchase.

    The purpose of great content is to achieve 3 objectives:

    1. Engaging and maintaining their attention
    2. Educate them about your product and sell it as the solution
    3. Eliminate all objections that stop them from buying

    Your customer mentally goes through a very specific process when making a decision, and you must understand this in order to be able to create the most powerful marketing possible.

    In order to make the sale, you need to be able to communicate a complete idea, and you must overcome your customer's objections in a very specific order.

    When designing content, there are 3 things your customer needs to know before they feel comfortable buying your product:

    Why, what, and how.

    First you need to educate your customer on why your product can help them - the benefits they're going to get, and pain they'll avoid by listening to what you have to say.

    Second, you educate them on what your product is - you show them why you're qualified to teach them, and introduce the blueprint for how your product is going to deliver results.
    Third, you educate them on how to go out into the world and apply this information.

    Throughout this example, I'm going to pretend I'm selling you a GPS - it shows you how to get navigate roads and streets.

    You don't want to buy one based on that description.

    I'm going to show you a scientific formula for selling the same product with maximum persuasion.

    Why

    First, your customer is asking themselves:

    "Why should I listen to this person? how is this content going to help me? Is this person even interested in helping me, or just trying to sell something?"

    This is the salesman stage, where you're persuading them of the value of you and your product.

    Your customer needs to know why they should care, or read your content, and your job is to make connections between your material, the benefit they get from taking time to read your page.

    You're telling them why your product is such a miracle, all the great things they'll get, how it will erase all their fears, and what they'll move toward by learning this information.

    An example of this is:

    "If you don't have a map, you're not going to know how to get to your destination, get lost trying to find your way to places the fastest way possible.

    Imagine missing a doctor's appointment, and having to deal with 2 hours on the phone trying to reschedule, because you took a wrong turn, or weren't able to get there on time - is it worth $50 to avoid the hassle?

    Imagine the tears in your child's eyes when you miss your child's soccer game, because you couldn't find your way to the school - is that worth another $25?

    Then, imagine the joy on his face when you show up smiling and show him how proud you are, all because you had a GPS"

    You're selling what your customer is going to gain from your product, and what they're going to avoid by not investing in it.

    What

    Second, once your customer knows what your product will do for them, they want to know how it works, and how it's going to deliver the benefits they want.

    This is the stage where you transition from being a salesman to showing you're a true expert, and can walk the walk on your product.

    This is the super scientific stage, where you eliminate all the hype, and focus on a description of what your product is going to do for them.

    This is the stage where you convince your customer of all they hype - they know you know the facts and walk the walk, and deliver on all the promises you initially made.

    In this stage, you want to present charts, facts, theories, data etc. about why your product is the best to persuade their logical mind, and eliminate skepticism .
    An example of this is:

    "If you have a map of step-by-step directions, you can find your way anywhere instantly, imagine being able to go anywhere in the country knowing exactly what turns to take, avoiding all traffic and construction, because the computer detects traffic and makes sure you're sent on the fastest route possible."

    You explain what your product is (automated verbal direction delivery system), and how your solution relates back to thewhy (you can effortlessly get anywhere you want to go as fast as possible).

    Once you've grabbed their attention,the 3rd step is to show them how to go out and use the technique, and translate the product into results.

    How

    Third, now that you've grabbed their attention, and persuaded them of your expertise, you need to make it worth their while for reading by giving them the answer to "how do I do it?"
    At this stage, your customer wants a step-by-step procedure, recipe, and process - how they can take out into the world and apply their new insights to the real world to get real result.

    You're selling a small taste of how your product will benefit their life on a much larger scale if they purchase it, by giving them a real-world demonstration.

    An example of this:

    "Go out right now, turn left, in one km down the road turn left, take a right at the first set of lights, then arrive at your destination."

    Imagine being able to go anywhere in the country knowing exactly what steps to take, and how easy it would be to get anywhere you want as fast as possible, and never get lost again.

    Once you understand why your customer is buying, how to craft your headline, and how to construct incredible content, your next step is learning the biggest mistakes most marketers make, so you can make sure you avoid them.

    Next, you're going to learn the secret to total mastery of anything, including the "x factor" that is the difference between a business that succeeds, and a business that fails.

    Tap the arrow in the right corner to advance to the final Selling Science workshop.
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    • Profile picture of the author crowsnest7
      Hi Chris,

      Thanks for taking the time to respond.

      I used to have a headline on top, but I found that people were clicking away because they thought my claims were uncredible. They never bothered to read below the headline, because they "knew" the offer was too good to be true.

      I want to take them more gradually to the science of it, so they don't just think it's a bunch of hype - which they've seen too many times.

      Originally Posted by ChrisNosal View Post

      for example, the first place my eyes go, before I have context, or know why I'm here, is "I'd rather see the video", which could just be "watch the video".
      I actually want people to see that the video is available right at the beginning, because many people these days don't want to read much (especially a long sales letter), and would prefer to see a video. So, any time the visitor gets tired of reading or is confused, they can just click on the video for some enlightenment. Also, I think the video is persuasive in its own right.

      I know someone who is getting good results from putting a link to a sales video at the top of his content (article) and saying something like "Before you read my article, be sure to watch this video!"

      I agree that it might work better if it had a single purpose "complete idea, and effective execution", but it's a complicated idea, and I'm not sure how to present it without just showing the highlights and leaving out the details (dumbing it down). But leaving out the details would probably make it look more like hype.

      Do you think my content is understandable and engaging, or do you think that it will just make eyes glaze over?
      Signature

      Rethink MLM. This is modern MLM, and it doesn't get any better than this. A 20 dollar bill will easily cover both entry and the first (financial eBook) product. After that, there are NO monthly fees, NO autoships, NO quotas, NO PVs, and NO physical stock - so no one quits. (The 5 other product levels are paid AUTOMATICALLY by profits, not out-of-pocket.)
      Read my Review and Watch the Video

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      • Profile picture of the author ChrisNosal
        Banned
        Originally Posted by crowsnest7 View Post

        Hi Chris,

        Thanks for taking the time to respond.

        I used to have a headline on top, but I found that people were clicking away because they thought my claims were uncredible. They never bothered to read below the headline, because they "knew" the offer was too good to be true.

        I want to take them more gradually to the science of it, so they don't just think it's a bunch of hype - which they've seen too many times.

        I actually want people to see that the video is available right at the beginning, because many people these days don't want to read much (especially a long sales letter), and would prefer to see a video. So, any time the visitor gets tired of reading or is confused, they can just click on the video for some enlightenment. Also, I think the video is persuasive in its own right.

        I know someone who is getting good results from putting a link to a sales video at the top of his content (article) and saying something like "Before you read my article, be sure to watch this video!"

        I agree that it might work better if it had a single purpose "complete idea, and effective execution", but it's a complicated idea, and I'm not sure how to present it without just showing the highlights and leaving out the details (dumbing it down). But leaving out the details would probably make it look more like hype.

        Do you think my content is understandable and engaging, or do you think that it will just make eyes glaze over?
        Yeah, these are all my opinions - I encourage everyone to do whatever works, but whatever you create, I'd strongly recommend using that why, what, how template to give your content flow, structure, and organization.

        The content structure builds the credibility for the headline, whether it's video, audio, or text.

        It doesn't matter if it's a complicated idea. It's about filling in any and all holes that could cause a customer to become skeptical, or object to buying (i.e. here's all the benefits, but I know nothing about how it's done (the formula), or any real-world examples of results) - it's all about building trust and credibility.

        The ""Before you read my article, be sure to watch this video!" sounds perfect, because as the marketer, instead of giving an option "if you'd prefer, here's your other option", you're LEADING them through your funnel.

        Regardless of reality, you want them to ALWAYS feel like they're being led, even when presenting options.

        I hear this "long writing" and "short writing" over and over, but it's not about how long the writing is.

        People LOVE to read, as long as it is simple, they don't have to think too much, and it's easy to follow - there's where this formula comes in.

        All that matters is it's effortless for them to read, but, again, it's a very personal thing, and based on my personal experience - you may have variables I don't which lead you to video with your particular product.

        Overall I like your idea, it's just, video or text, it's just organization so it executes correctly, but I like your open mind, and that we can have an open discussion.

        I like learning new things!
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  • Profile picture of the author Jennifer Hutson
    I'd give you a real critique if I wouldn't be helping you scam people with a shitty pyramid scheme. Whatever happened to providing real value? I'm tired of seeing garbage being peddled to newbies. It's a damn shame.
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    • Profile picture of the author crowsnest7
      Jennifer,

      I'd give you a real response to your comment if I thought you were adding value to this thread.

      You're entitled to your opinion, but in my opinion,
      1) I'm not targeting newbies - what part of "super affiliate alliance" don't you understand?
      2) It's hardly a scam - did you actually go to their website? Did you actually read about the ONE-TIME low ticket payment? Did you actually read enough to be able to provide a fair and informed analysis?

      No, I didn't think so.

      Try reading before commenting.

      I couldn't wait to get into this program, and I have no regrets.
      Signature

      Rethink MLM. This is modern MLM, and it doesn't get any better than this. A 20 dollar bill will easily cover both entry and the first (financial eBook) product. After that, there are NO monthly fees, NO autoships, NO quotas, NO PVs, and NO physical stock - so no one quits. (The 5 other product levels are paid AUTOMATICALLY by profits, not out-of-pocket.)
      Read my Review and Watch the Video

      {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10044710].message }}
      • Profile picture of the author Jennifer Hutson
        Originally Posted by crowsnest7 View Post

        Jennifer,

        I'd give you a real response to your comment if I thought you were adding value to this thread.

        You're entitled to your opinion, but in my opinion,
        1) I'm not targeting newbies - what part of "super affiliate alliance" don't you understand?
        2) It's hardly a scam - did you actually go to their website? Did you actually read about the ONE-TIME low ticket payment? Did you actually read enough to be able to provide a fair and informed analysis?

        No, I didn't think so.

        Try reading before commenting.

        I couldn't wait to get into this program, and I have no regrets.
        Directly from your sales page:

        "Find 4 people, and you're done.

        Yes, that's it.

        As a new member, you have only 4 spots to fill below you. Once you complete your first level (of 4 people), you're finished! You can quit right there if you want to ... but you won't want to."


        You couldn't find a better definition of a pyramid scheme in the dictionary. Quit trying to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse. It's a pyramid scheme no matter how you try to paint it.

        Originally Posted by crowsnest7 View Post

        1) I'm not targeting newbies - what part of "super affiliate alliance" don't you understand?
        You ARE targeting newbies. They're buying into the program under YOUR link and becoming "affiliates" (referrals) under YOU. Only people who are just learning about marketing buy into these schemes.

        People who know even a shred about marketing do not, so yes - you're targeting new people who are just starting out, and who will one day look back and say "I can't believe I fell for that crap."

        At least own up to what you're pushing and don't try to pretend like it's not exactly what it is.

        Originally Posted by crowsnest7 View Post

        2) It's hardly a scam - did you actually go to their website? Did you actually read about the ONE-TIME low ticket payment? Did you actually read enough to be able to provide a fair and informed analysis?
        Oh wow, they have a one-time low ticket payment! That must make them legit. The real question here is did YOU read the website?

        What have you actually learned from this website besides the fact that you need to get four other people to sign up under you in order to make money? What have you actually learned about real marketing? Intro the crickets.
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        • Profile picture of the author crowsnest7
          Hi Jennifer,

          Originally Posted by Jennifer Hutson View Post

          "Only people who are just learning about marketing buy into these schemes.
          People who know even a shred about marketing do not"
          Can you substantiate this? Do you have any metrics/statistics to back up this claim about network marketing?

          No?

          Originally Posted by Jennifer Hutson View Post

          you're targeting new people who are just starting out, and who will one day look back and say "I can't believe I fell for that crap."
          I know people who failed at everything else online, and are succeeding with this.
          But it's actually in my best interest to target super affiliates who can send this offer to their list. There are also many affiliate marketers who are buying solo ads to promote this opportunity.

          Originally Posted by Jennifer Hutson View Post

          "The real question here is did YOU read the website? "
          Yes, I read it quite carefully. If you have any questions, feel free to ask me, either here on the forum, or by PM.


          As Bob Dylan once said, "Don't criticize what you can't understand."
          Signature

          Rethink MLM. This is modern MLM, and it doesn't get any better than this. A 20 dollar bill will easily cover both entry and the first (financial eBook) product. After that, there are NO monthly fees, NO autoships, NO quotas, NO PVs, and NO physical stock - so no one quits. (The 5 other product levels are paid AUTOMATICALLY by profits, not out-of-pocket.)
          Read my Review and Watch the Video

          {{ DiscussionBoard.errors[10049654].message }}
    • Profile picture of the author SMworkcafe
      Originally Posted by Jennifer Hutson View Post

      Whatever happened to providing real value?
      Jennifer, you missed it.

      Making online friends for $18 is the real deal here. It's evidently the most comprehensive system which can make $559,824.00 because the site owner possesses a matrix of 7000 virtual people who have what it takes to produce a landing page which inevitably showcases the perfect picture of their online realm.

      Website has been submitted as a spam in a directory. It's in the moderation process. Would be glad if it gets approved.
      Signature

      Cheers!

      - Sana.

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  • This is like all 3 LOTR movies, only without the entire cast — apart from Gollum.
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    Lightin' fuses is for blowin' stuff together.

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  • Profile picture of the author trinity571
    Nice clean style but this home page gives me the impression that I have arrived half way through a message. There is no clear beginning.
    I think it would look better with the second line first, and make it a headline:

    Recently I came across an amazing opportunity which I want to share with you.

    Then: Before you read my review.................
    Followed by the video ON the page.

    I didn't think it was a good idea to show the video on a different page, as it takes the visitor off your site. That seems like a waste, as they might not come back. Unless you want them on the other page. It's hard to tell.
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  • Profile picture of the author sethczerepak
    Originally Posted by crowsnest7 View Post

    This is my landing page:

    http://www.SuperAffiliateAlliance.com

    My main concerns are that

    1) I have too many links.
    Is it annoying to have so many links, or is it a smart call to action?

    2) It's not dumbed down enough.
    Should I shorten and simplify it so it's easier for everyone to grasp?

    I'm sure that you will have other concerns too

    But any help you can give me is appreciated. Thanks.
    It has Scam written all over it.

    You're promising all this money, but your website looks like the product of a High-School student messing around on a windows 98 computer.

    If you're really sitting on such a goldmine, why don't you hire a real web designer and copywriter? If you're not, why are you telling people that you are?
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